Chapter Text
It was their first real vacation.
Since they had defeated God and the Empty, they all had been in a real good mood and finally, had been planning the holiday Dean had in mind for years.
Taking a timeout- no jobs, no cases, no responsibilities.
Dean did not tell anyone how excited he really was about his first trip to the beach.
„First time I get to wear shorts. “He had told Sam back at the bunker with a grin.
„I thought you don’t do shorts in public.“
„Well, now I will. Better times Sammy, better times. “ Then he had patted his brother on the back and vanished to his room to pack his stuff.
They had been driving down the Pacific coast until somewhere near San Diego, where it would be warm and sunny this time of the year.
Eileen had talked them into an Airbnb instead of a classic motel. „We can cook there for ourselves and have more space and privacy. Plus, I know this nice little house, that’s directly by the beach. “
To be fair, she didn’t need much persuasive power to convince them, as they were all very tired of shitty and narrow motel rooms. It was a tiny but cute house, though. Two floors. The first just one big room, that functioned as kitchen and living room. And the second: Two master bedrooms and a shared bathroom. It was enough for them. And it was also well furnished - bright and cozy.
Obviously, Sam and Eileen wanted to share a room and since Castiel didn’t sleep and Dean knew he liked to watch TV at nights, he had happily unfurled his stuff in the second one. But of course Castiel could use it anytime he wanted, Dean didn’t mind (anymore). Maybe to use the nice little balcony from where they had a beautiful view over the beach and the ocean.
Sam and Dean preferred the porch downstairs for their first afternoon here. It had direct access to the beach and Dean couldn’t wait to feel the sand between his toes or take a swim in the ocean tomorrow or even try a fresh coconut and mix it with some fancy alcohol.
They had suited themselves in two old and comfortable wooden chairs, with some leftover beers of the trunk, while Castiel and Eileen had been heading out for a supply run - because Sam and Dean had been driving in turns without a stop, except for gas and now „deserved a break“.
They didn’t talk much, while they enjoyed the last warming rays of sunshine of the day. It was a quiet beach, but there were still some kids playing and laughing in the distance.
With a pleased smile Dean watched them. It was a beautiful picture, two girls building a sandcastle and a boy throwing sticks to a dog to practice the retrieval, the sky slowly becoming a mix of orange and purple. He came aware of how he hadn’t been as peaceful and calm as he was now in forever.
He drank his beer with relish.
“Man, I already feel like this will be our new tradition. Imagine coming back here, once a year. Everybody together. You and Eileen with your kids and your dog", his mouth gushed out, before his brain had any time to think.
Sam chuckled in amusement, “Yeah.”
“You deserve it…”, Dean said and nodded a few times in approval to his own words and drank another sip of his beer.
He was not exactly sure, where it came from or where he wanted to go with his next words, but there was a sudden, undefined urge in his gut. Like he wanted to clarify something to Sam he hadn’t really figured out himself by now (This one tiny knot he still used to carry around above all the happiness. The one he should have untangled already a long time ago.)
“It’ll be crowded in there, though. Guess I’ll just crack on Baby's backseat at nights.”
Sam seemed a bit confused. “What? You wanna sleep in the car? You want me to have this? -…”
He pointed over to the scenery (the family) in front of them (The parents had appeared and got their kids dressed up to leave the beach. “just five more minutes”, “it’s late", “we’ll come back tomorrow”, “did you get a sunburn there?”, “Come here, buddy!”)
“…-But you don’t want this for yourself anymore?”
Dean moved his head, as if he was still weighing his options. “Nah”, he said eventually, “I’ve tried that. I’m- It’s different now.”
“It is?"
“You know... I guess I’ll just never stop hunting. There’ll still be creepy stuff around…” His thumb started to scratch the label of the bottle. He wasn’t really paying attention to it, but it helped to get his sudden jittery body under control. “…I-… you know, I guess I'd just hunt with Cas.”
“Yeah, good-…” Sam cleared his throat and straightened a bit in his chair and now observed Dean more attentively from the side “…-I know.”
Dean ignored him and kept staring into the sunset. Sam could spare this knowing smartass tone in his voice.
They fell back into silence again.
After a few moments Sam turned away from his staring and sighed almost silently, as if he had given up the hope Dean would say more. Or maybe the topic was just done for him. But inside Dean it still kept working. He felt like Sam got it, but he had to make sure. Just because he couldn’t stand this conversation a second time. He already felt stupid enough right now. He chewed on his tongue as if to form the words in his mouth properly.
He dared a quick glance over to his brother, before he set his jaw and leaned forward. He was still fidgeting with the beer in his hands and his eyes now concentrating on the bottleneck.
“So, it would be okay for you if I-…” He bit his lip and let one hand slide through the air, “…-Y’ know…hunted with Cas?” It didn’t came out as nonchalant as he had originally intended to. But at least he would get it.
From the corner of his eye he saw Sam’s expression shift. “Of course, Dean! You know I just want you to be happy, right?”
Dean continued to withstand to look at him, because even less than the tone in his voice, he could bear his stupid puppy face appear as if he felt pity for him.
But somehow, he felt relieved and the knot already smaller. And he smiled a little while he mumbled an “I know" into his bottle, his head still lowered.
“Look, I don’t care whatever- whoever-…”
“Yeah… yeah! I know!” He interrupted him hastily before it would get all too embarrassing.
“…as long as you’re happy", Sam offered a second time.
“Okay, that’s good to know, man…”
A brief unpleasant silence fell over them. Like they both still wanted to say something, but didn’t know how to. That’s when they both got lost in their own thoughts for a moment.
Sam cleared his throat again. “As long as you don’t give my kids any weapons, everything’s fine.” He tried for funny and Dean was thankful for that.
With a scornful snort Dean grinned at his brother full of regained confidence, “…‘F COURSE I will! I'd be the cool uncle. Showing them cool tricks ‘n stuff.” He chuckled “The one, that’s always drunk and embarrassing at gatherings. Cas can be the dorky one, though. With self-made candy from his bee farm or somethin’...”
“Yeah, yeah I don’t know what else I'd expect.” Sam offered to toast with his bottle, which Dean gladly accepted.
The clink of the bottle was simultaneously accompanied by some noises from the kitchen. Eileen and Cas must have been back.
“C’me on, Sammy! Let’s see what we’ll have for dinner!” Dean hopped out of his chair in joyful anticipation for food. He tousled his brother’s hair on his way inside. Sam shook his head with an amused smile, his gaze fixed on the distant horizon for a second until he got up and followed his brother inside.