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Burning Questions

Summary:

Soukoku Fluff Week 2020 : Day -5-

"The popular actors behind the Bungou Stray Dogs characters Dazai Osamu and Nakahara Chuuya are invited to a TV Show to play the game 'Burning Questions' ."

Notes:

Hi there and thank you for giving this a chance ♡ in hope that you will enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it ♡

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

"Today's episode will have everyone's favorite game 'Burning Questions' and our guests are no other than everyone's favorite Actors !"

Fyodor pointed behind the audience where the guests came in, each from his side, while the big screen showed them as well, making the room turn upside-down with everyone screaming.

"Let us all welcome Dazai Osamu and Nakahara Chuuya !"

The actors laughed at their colleague using their characters names instead of the real ones, they all knew how much their fans loved it when they were in character in their daily lives.

Dazai came in with an elegant black and white suit, he was the kind to always keep it simple yet still find a way to be the most handsome. As he walked down the stairs to join Fyodor, he let out his hand to shake it with some of his fans hands leaving any girl he touched hands with crying in joy.

Chuuya on the other hand, was the type who loved to show up, his outfit was way too extra, he had simple black shoes and pants but on top, he wore a coat that reached his thighs, it had no zipper or buttons but a simple cloth tied in the middle showing his small waist. What killed the fans the most is the fact that he wore nothing under the coat and it was too open, revealing a lot of his chest.

The last touch was one of his character, the gloves, hat with long hair on one side but instead of a choker, he went for a black silky tissue tied beautifully around his neck. He looked like a real model with all the dark clothes giving the spotlight to his red hair and blue eyes, sadly he was too short- or so his partner would say.

Fyodor welcomed them with a warm smile waiting till the audience stopped cheering to ask them to take their seats, each of them with a red button facing him. Dazai was the first to speak up, having to lean down as Chuuya was sitting in the middle.

"I thought this was Shibusawa's show ?"

"He's busy so he asked me to replace him today ."

"Busy ?! Even though he knew we were his guests ?! How dare he ?!"

Dazai acted offended making both Chuuya and the audience laugh.

"I can always leave if you want ."

"No ! He's just joking .."

Chuuya held him back as he was closer to him still laughing at the audience who shouted 'Nooo !!' all at once, the Actor behind Fyodor was also a famous one, and the fact that he was wearing a ponytail drove all his fans crazy.

"So ? What are we supposed to do ?"

"Before that, i heard you two recently made your relationship official so congratulations !"

"Thank you !!"

Dazai had a wide grin just like of a child, he was too happy, while Chuuya only smiled with a light blush on his cheeks at their fans going crazy with their screaming, he already regretted coming, especially when Fyodor coughed and added under his breath -still making sure everyone hears him- "It took you two too long .." Chuuya had to talk or they would never stop.

"What was the game again ?"

"You're so impatient, Chuuya-kun~ anyway, the game is called 'Burning Questions', it's literally just you replying to some questions ."

"What are these for then ?"

Dazai pointed at the red buttons making Fyodor sigh.

"You just push it before, during or after your reply, it serves for nothing, it's literally useless ."

"That's kinda stupid .."

"Don't ask me, ask Shibusawa .. anyway, the questions !"

Fyodor went through the small papers with the questions, his smile slowly turning to a devilish smirk.

"Dazai-kun would love this game ! Can't say the same about Chuuya-kun though~"

"Oh damn- i already regret coming .."

Chuuya leaned on the small table with his red buzzer to hide his face making everyone in the room laugh but Fyodor wasn't about to give him any time to rest.

"First question ! What body part of your partner is your favorite ?"

"Oh well- this is starting strong !"

Dazai winked at the fans making them scream again while Chuuya wanted to die.

"Who answers first ?"

"Let's say .. whoever pushes the button first ."

"That's definitely not me .."

Chuuya leaned back on his chair till he felt another devilish smirk but directed to him, it was his lover.

"Are you sure you will let me answer first~"

Dazai gave Chuuya no time to react as he already pushed the button then turned to Fyodor.

"Are we allowed to say anything we want ?"

"Yes ! There are no limits !"

"Okay then the body part i love the most in my partner is ... his butt ! But it's only for me to see so you all better not look at it~"

Dazai seemed like a yandere as he gave his answer making the audience go crazy again while Chuuya wished he could hide somewhere, anywhere as long as he didn't have to be there.

"How about Chuuya-kun ?"

"Everything obviously .."

"Come on be honest~"

"I'm being honest ..."

"This won't increase the views ..."

Fyodor glared at him making sure it doesn't show to the camera, Chuuya let out a long sigh, it was just the first question and he was already done with this game.

"Well then let's say ... his hands ?"

Chuuya wasn't sure why everyone was screaming again till he heard Fyodor repeat 'Oh .. his hands ...' while Dazai had his eyes shining in happiness making him frown.

"I'm sure we aren't thinking of the same thing ..."

"Next question ! One Actor you would like to do a love scene with ?"

"What ?!"

Dazai was the first to push the button then stand up angrily, he was obviously acting but everyone was so into it that they got confused.

"How dare you add such a question when you know the two of us are lovers ?! I will make sure to sue the program for this !"

"It's not mine it's Shibusawa's ..."

Fyodor decided not to get in his game sighing at Dazai who sat down, crossing his arms over his chest making sure to look the angriest, then he turned his attention to the ginger actor.

"How about you ?"

"There is one actually ..."

Chuuya said his words in a whisper, totally expecting Dazai's reaction, the latter acted more offended, even faking some tears, he was such a great actor. 

"Let me just find some corner and cry ..."

Dazai curled in a ball under his table with the buzzer, faking some sobs making Chuuya sigh as he tried to pull him out.

"The Actor i would like to do a love scene with is Tsushima Shuuji ."

Dazai suddenly brightened up, even trying to hug his lover but the latter pushed him away, the audience loved how they were acting just like their characters.

"Well then ... third question, three things you must do everyday ?"

"Oh ... ohohohoho~"

Dazai was glancing at the audience and everyone could literally tell what he was thinking about, Chuuya wanted to kill himself and to ruin the mood, he was the first to push the button.

"Shower, eat, sleep !"

"I am sorry to say this but Chuuya-kun .. you are living a sad life. Dazai-kun ?"

"Sex on the couch, sex on the bed and sex in the shower ."

"Oh three times a day ? You two sure got a lot of stamina ."

"How not to when you have such a beautiful lover~"

Dazai was about to give Chuuya his gentlest smile until he found him wearing his darkest glare.

"I was just being honest ..."

"I didn't lie either ."

"But everyone knows you shower, eat and sleep ..."

"We're lovers so everyone knows we ... do that too !"

"But that's what they wanna hear ..."

Fyodor was the one who had to interrupt them, addressing the audience.

"You all sure are lucky you get to witness Double Black arguing in real ! Fourth question, Your partner annoyes you the most when he ?"

Chuuya was the first to push the button again.

"When he gives stupid answers to more stupid questions !"

He made both of them shiver and the fans loved that, screaming all the time.

"How about Dazai-kun ... ?"

"When he gives attention to anyone and anything but me ..."

They both went into a glaring contest urging Fyodor to interrupt them again with his fifth question.

"What is the last thing you googled ?"

Both had to check their phones, Dazai already wearing a smirk while Chuuya was the first to randomly show the screen of his phone to the camera.

"It's the recipe for 'Fondu au chocolat', he saw it in a movie the other day and was dying to eat it so i prepared it for him ."

"And how was the result ?"

Fyodor's question was directed to the brunet and the face Dazai wore wasn't disappointing, especially when he licked his lips making his lover shiver.

"It was ... delicious~"

"Are we still talking about the 'Fondu au chocolat' ?"

"You know we aren't~"

Dazai winked at Fyodor who quickly moved on before Chuuya murders both of them.

"What's the last thing Dazai-kun googled ?"

"It's 'Soukoku arts' and all i can say is that .. i wasn't disappointed~"

Dazai winked at the camera this time killing all his fans with his handsomeness.

"You all are doing an amazing job out there~"

"Next question, do you have a pet name you like to be called ?"

Chuuya knew what was Dazai's answer to that so he quickly pushed the button.

"Well .. he calls me many names like baby, love, sweetheart-"

"Chibi-"

"Shut up. So he makes it sound really special when he calls me with my name ."

"That's lovely ."

Fyodor directed his gaze to the brunet letting out a light chuckle at the audience's simultaneous 'aw' with Chuuya's cute answer but they quickly went back to their screams with Dazai's reply.

"I love it when he calls me 'Daddy' ."

"I saw that one coming ."

Fyodor grew to ignore Chuuya glaring at Dazai for his replies just as Dazai was doing, he already moved to the next question.

"The strangest thing a fan has ever asked you ?"

Dazai was the first to answer this time, even standing up and walking to the audience.

"I was asked if i topped or bottomed but then ... isn't it obvious ?"

The girls couldn't stop fangirling anymore, the closest one to him almost lost consciousness annoying the ginger who pushed the buzzer, he was obviously jealous.

"To step on them, i mean .. that's just weird ..."

Dazai was already back to his seat, giving Chuuya almost teary, puppy eyes.

"Just when i thought i would ask you to step on me tonight ... is this a no ?"

Chuuya hid his face with both hands as he said into them, with everyone listening.

"Can i die please ?"

"No. You need to answer the remaining questions ."

"Have some pity ..."

"What part of your body do you look at the most in the mirror ?"

Chuuya thanked any god out there that this was a normal question compared to the other ones.

"My face probably, i look at it so much that sometimes i see some imaginary wrinkles, it's scary ..."

"Well, no one stays young forever, but i think even with wrinkles you would still look gorgeous ."

"Oh thank you ."

Fyodor and Chuuya were all smiles earning themselves a glare from the brunet.

"I'm still here you know ..."

"What is your answer to the question ?"

"My penis-"

"Can you please stop ?! Just STOP !"

Chuuya hid his face again  from embarrassement, the audience didn't know whether they should fangirl or laugh at them and Dazai obviously had to give more details.

"I mean, when you're naked and facing a mirror and it's just there, you can't help but look at it right ?"

"Yes, it totally makes sense ."

Fyodor wanted to make more comments but the producers were telling him that this already lasted for too long so he had to move on.

"Next question. Have you ever been in handcuffs ?"

Chuuya's sudden blush told a lot about his thoughts and Dazai's smirk wasn't helping at all. Chuuya pushed the buzzer in slow motion.

"Y-yeah ..."

"What were the circumstances ?"

"That was not the question .."

This made everyone laugh but then came Dazai's turn, everyone in the room had to breathe deeply in to get ready for his answer.

"Without considering the shows i have been in, no .. since i'm not into wearing them, i'm more into ... making others wear them~"

Dazai winked again, he was making sure he kills all his fans with his hotness. Chuuya also wanted to die.

"Last question-"

"Oh finally !"

Chuuya let out a long sigh, even loving the last question and getting positive about it answering it first.

"Your partner is the best at ?"

"He's the best at everything, even at being annoying ."

Chuuya let out a cute chuckle, even holding Dazai's hand and giving him his warmest smile but it didn't last for too long as Dazai gave his answer as well.

"He's the best at giving head ."

"Oh god why ?????"

"You should have wondered that before you agree to date him, it's too late now ."

Fyodor turned his attention to the camera, faking a smile as he wanted to laugh at the audience's reaction.

"Well then this was Burning Questions with Dazai Osamu and Nakahara Chuuya ! Thank you so much for joining us tonight ."

"Thank you as well for hosting us ."

The actors suddenly acted all professional thanking the host, the audience and everyone watching them before leaving the room with the girls still screaming.

Shibusawa wasn't disappointed by the views he got with this episode, of course, he chose Fyodor in his stead purposely as he knew how much the fandom loved to pair him with Chuuya just to make Dazai jealous.

In the end, he even invited Fyodor for a drink to thank him for his help.

Notes:

Tsushima Shuuji is irl Dazai's real name ^^

If you read everything till here then thank you so much, comments and kudos are always welcomed and please stay safe ♡