Work Text:
to whomever may find this letter,
hi!!! :) my name is jade, i am thirteen and i just ran away from home!
i am writing this letter on the train to san francisco, and i plan to send it with this sweet gizmo i stole from my grandmothers attic. i am not sure how it works but when you press the button on the top, whatever is inside disappears! so if you received this letter you probably also received the dozen cakes i zapped over the past three weeks, sorry about that!!! hehehe
if the beginning of this letter has worried you (whoever you are), please know that i am perfectly fine! i took with me enough money to live on my own for a good while, my trusty rifle, and of course my dear companion! good dog, best friend <3 as i said before i am planning to settle in san francisco, heres to hoping the old witch doesnt find me there.
whoever you are, id like to hear back from you! with love,
jade english
Dear Jade,
First of all, hi to you too! I must say I was quite happy, though surprised, to receive your letter in that curious box this morning. I suppose it explains partly the repeated presence of wrecked cakes in it, which I previously attributed to my brother’s strange idea of a prank. Coincidentally, he also ran away from home a few days ago! He didn’t tell me where he would go, but if you ever come across him, please tell him Jane loves him?
I am relieved to know you are properly equipped for your journey, although I am still pretty sure that being on the runaway with only a dog and a rifle is a dangerous situation for a young girl! :o Please be safe. I am curious to know what you plan to do once you are in California. Will you keep going to school? My grandmother firmly believes it is capital for any youngster to educate herself as much as she possibly can, and despite her being an all-around displeasing person I can only agree with her on that point. I am worried that you may find yourself in a difficult situation and unable to attend high school, so if this ever happens, please tell me and I will help you to the best of my abilities! I would as well love to hear back from you. Sincerely,
Jane
dear jane,
sorry for the late reply but i was busy settling in san francisco!! i had originally in mind to sail to a deserted island but your letter made me realize desert islands suffer from a cruel lack of high schools and baked goods (although i am not sure i will want to eat cake ever again now!) so i followed your good advice and enlisted in a school near my new apartment! speaking of which, i must tell you about that apartment: it is tiny but it has a beautiful view of the whole bay, and it is just above a bakery! the baker is also the owner and he said he would let me rent the place for half the price if i helped him out with the shop. he said i could work there after school and on the weekends, which means i have a job! :D i suppose you understand now why it took me a while to reply to your letter!
sadly i have not met any fellow runaways, so i couldnt get your message to your brother. but even if i met him i dont think i would know it because you didnt tell me his name! i promise, though, if i ever do meet him knowing he is your brother i will get your message to him. i also promise i will tell you if i am ever in need of any help, dont worry!
in my free time, i have been examining the device i used to send you my first letter and to receive yours, which is i assume the same device you also use judging by your description! it is branded with the name of my grandmothers company but it looks nothing like any device i have ever seen. i have also never heard of a machine capable of zapping letters and cakes into another machine! :o i opened it to peek inside but it is full of cables and tiny metallic parts and i dare not take it apart for fear of not being able to put the pieces back together and then not receiving your letters anymore! i guess this mystery will take some time to solve.
with love,
jade
Dear Jade,
Silly me! My brother’s name is Jake, he is also thirteen and has messy black hair. I believe you would easily recognize him if you met him, because he insists on wearing shorts all year round and loves to use ridiculously outdated phrases.
I am very glad to hear you took my advice to heart. Your apartment sounds like a wonderful place to live, and having a job is certainly a very good thing! I am also very curious about this device, but I have to admit to not being the scientific type myself. I am more interested in good pranking and jokes than in modern technology! hohohooo :D But I am delighted to hear about your interest in this particular machine, so please tell me if you make any advances in understanding it! I can’t say I will get the more technical parts, but I will for sure try my very best!
I was worried you might get bored all alone in your apartment, so I took the liberty of sending some books with my letter! (Even though you do have your dog and the entire city of San Francisco to keep you busy!) You will find a volume dedicated to space and the stars, it has a really beautiful star map you can hang on your wall if you want, a very interesting book pertaining to frogs, and an abridged edition of Colonel Sassacre’s Daunting Text of Magical Frivolity and Practical Japery, which is a must-have for any aspiring prankster worth her salt! I wanted to send you an unabridged edition but it was regrettably to large to fit into the sending… sendifier… sendificator thing? Anyway, this edition contains more than enough material for a lifetime of high quality pranking! I hope you will enjoy it as much as I did. Please take care of yourself!
With love,
Jane
dear jane,
thank you so much for the books!!! :D i put the star map on my wall like you suggested, and i read through the astronomy and frogs books last night! i also started reading colonel sassacre’s book but it is very long and i have not finished it yet. i was very happy to receive these gifts from you, as i was not yet able to raid my local bookshop for reading material. i promise i will send some books back as soon as i can!
also, jake sounds like a really interesting person! i dont believe i have met him but now i will surely know its him if i do:) did i mention i also have a brother? his name is john and he is a prankster just like you! i was planning to take him with me when i left but he changed his mind and decided to stay with the old witch instead. i miss him very much but i just could not stand it there anymore :( i am too afraid to send him letters because the witch would surely read them, and she find me and get back at me for defying her authority. i guess i will just wait until it is safe! but for now i have to focus on my studies, wish me luck!
with love,
jade
dear jane,
i am very upset as the old witch seems to have found me! earlier today, i narrowly dodged an assassination attempt that was undoubtedly her doing: i was walking through campus to go to one of my classes when a bullet flew right over my head and into the cement ten feet in front of me. had i not been bending down to reach for a paper i dropped, it would have probably killed me! i took cover immediately but when i looked the shooter was gone. i have decided to never go out again without my trusty rifle, it was a mistake to be without it in the first place!
as you know, i have now been away from her for five years, but i can see clearly she still holds a grudge against me for running away. i dont know how she found me, i was careful to leave no clues to where i was going and to put her on the wrong tracks when i left. i even changed my name! but it was apparently not enough :(
i should probably run again and hide somewhere else, but that would force me to give up on my scholarship and my physics degree, and i bet thats exactly what she wants! there is no way in hell i am giving her that satisfaction!!!!!!!!! i am starting self-defense classes and going back to the gun range, hopefully that will be enough to keep her henchmen from getting to me! wish me luck!
with love,
jade
Dear Jade,
Please tell me you are alright! I am so sorry to hear about your troubles! Why don’t you go to the police? I am certain they would be able to protect you from these assassins! I am glad to learn you are doing well in your studies, but I am pretty sure your life is worth more than your education! If it is your choice to stay despite the danger, I respect it, but please be safe.
I am quite curious about the old witch you mentioned several times. Who is she? And why is she after you? What kind of person would send assassins for an eighteen year old girl? Anyway, if this is the person you lived with before, I am happy you got away!
On my end, I have better news: when I turned eighteen, a couple weeks ago, my grandmother put me at the helm of one of our factories, and let me move there, which means I no longer have to bear living in the same house as her and I can finally have some freedom! I am sure she still spies on me, and has some of my employees report to her, but I don’t have to obey her every whim and I can lead my factory and my life the way I want. You can certainly understand how good that feels! The factory is located in a nice and proper suburban area, and I have a little house with a tiny garden. I bought some pumpkin seeds to plant there, it would be so nice to make pumpkin pie from my very own garden next fall! The factory itself is the one where all of our cookies are made, I already began working with my team to adapt some of my personal recipes for the market. I am very excited to make my cookies available for everyone, and to hone my baking skills! I must admit baking and pranking are the two things that make me the happiest, next to reading your letters of course, and baking is the one that didn’t get me in trouble with my grandmother. I think I may very well have developed this talent partly to spite her, because she hates the idea of my cooking being superior to hers, but now I can truly enjoy it. If we ever meet, you absolutely have to get a taste of my apple pie!
I am really looking forward to your next letter! Please be safe! With love,
Jane
dear jane,
i promise i am okay!!!!! there has not been a new attempt on my life, and i am making quick progress in my self-defense class and planning to start martial arts as soon as my finances let me. i am very sorry if my letter startled you, i was very upset but i am perfectly alright!!
i am glad to learn about your new position, it does seem to make you very happy to start living your own life and to live your passion freely! i will try to buy some of your cookies when they are available. i would also be very happy to meet you and to try that legendary pie :D i think it is totally okay to have begun baking to spite your grandmother, she sounds very mean anyway and if you enjoy it well i guess the reason why you started doesnt really matter!
as for the ‘old witch’, she is actually my grandmother! she is a powerful businesswoman and a very cruel person, if she is really a person at all! this is going to sound completely crazy but just before i left, she showed me things. under all her makeup and wigs, things that shouldn’t be there. things that are not human. i tried to tell my brother but he would not listen to me!!! so i ran, and now she is really pissed because she intended to make me her personal pet, and i would not accept to become her lap dog!! i am very glad i left but i cannot say i never regret my choice. if i could go back i do not think i would change my decision to go but i was very young and i put myself in a dangerous situation without even thinking about it twice. and i left my dear brother behind :( i feel terrible about leaving him in the claws of that woman. i hoped i could save him but he has always been easily influenced and i am afraid she has put her mark too deep on his mind. who is to say she has not turned him against me? as sad as i am to not be with him, it is too dangerous for me to try and meet him now. this woman is evil and ever since my grandfather died she has done nothing but tried to make us miserable and to turn us into her puppets. i, too, am glad i got away.
lots of love,
jade
Dear Jade,
I find your letter most confusing, because the more I learn about your story and the more similar it gets to my brother’s. I remember him telling me before he left that our grandmother was not human. As a matter of fact, the description you make of your grandmother matches exactly mine, down to the part where she raised us since our grandfather died. I have always felt like she groomed me to be her perfect little doll, obeying her every whim, a situation my brother, just like you, couldn’t bear anymore. How is it possible that two different women can each raise their two grandchildren, treat them the exact same way, only to see one of them run away at the age of thirteen, around the same time? And how is it possible that their granddaughters each own a never-before-seen device, of Betty Crocker brand, that allows them to sendificate letters to each other?
This whole business is much too strange to be a simple coincidence. I tried to use my high status in Crockercorp to have a look at our research and development branch to investigate the device, but I found my grandmother has restricted my access and I could not get past the labs working on baking machines and the like. It all seems very sketchy. Please write back soon, I need your help to make sense of this mess. With love,
Jane
dear jane,
i must say i am far from understanding all of this!! do you mean to tell me your grandmother is betty crocker????? i would like to say it is impossible, because MY grandmother is betty crocker! but she also happens to be, as far as i know, an alien from space, so the field of what i can believe has been widened somewhat. this is all very strange and confusing!!
despite how dangerous it is for me to contact a betty crocker facility, i tried to get you on the phone by calling every known crockercorp factory in north america, but none of them had a young woman for a head. as a matter of fact i cannot find any sign of your existence anywhere! please write back soon!
with love,
jade
Dear Jade,
I’m having quite a hard time understanding the implications of your letter, or rather accepting them. How can our two grandmothers be the same person? How could we have been raised by the same person for thirteen years without knowing about each other? Despite my best efforts, I can’t work out how she could have been invested in your upbringing in the way you describe while simultaneously giving me all the attention she did, giving me endless lessons or dragging me to various events. She just wouldn’t have had the time! I can only come to two possible conclusions: either you are lying, or there is something fishy going on! And I can’t possibly believe that you are lying.
I was as puzzled by the second part of your letter as by the first, so I decided to call your college, and they have never heard of Jade English. I sent them by mail a copy of the photograph you sent me, they didn’t recognize you either. I had my secretary contact all of the bakeries in San Francisco, none of them have ever employed a Jade matching your description. I can only deduce from this whole thing that you do not, in fact, exist, just like you haven’t found any trace of my existence. Now, I feel this is very curious, but I do not believe you are a liar. So, please, if you have any explanation or theory as to what is going on, do share it, because I understand nothing and it’s somewhat getting on my nerves!
Jane
PS: I included with this letter a business card with all of my contact information, I hope it can be of use.
dear jane,
i am very sorry that i have upset you!!!! but unfortunately i do not understand any more than you do! i also do not see how betty could have raised us both the way she raised me, but this is only a small part of the problem: i tried calling both of your phone numbers, one did not exist and the other was the phone line of a joke shop. i also sent a letter, that was returned to me with a note saying that you did not live at this address! i sent my contact information along with this letter, but i believe you will obtain the same results.
as strange as this all seems, we must look at the evidence we have: firstly, you and your brother received from betty crocker the same upbringing as my brother and me, after our grandfather died, and your brother ended up running away at the same time as me after developing the same conviction that betty was not human. secondly, we cant find any evidence of the others existence and we cant contact each other any other way than through a device created by crockercorp.
i dont believe you are lying either so we have to find another explanation! i may have a theory, but it is very far-fetched and will sound to you like i have lost my mind, please dont mock me!! here goes:
we do not live in the same universe
Dear Jade,
I would like to believe you are just out of your mind, but I don’t have any other explanation, and if half the things my brother told me about the Batterwitch (as he calls her) are true, well I don’t think it is so far-fetched after all! But if we are to believe it, I suggest we need stronger evidence than that. I think you fully realize how much this implies. We simply cannot go around putting our faith in this kind of theory without solid proof.
I have an experiment proposal: tomorrow, on the 13th of April, the Guardian is to publish an important article about Crockercorp. We should both buy two copies of it, send one to the other, and compare them. If we really are in two different universes, then there should be at least a few differences between the two. This will not be conclusive, but it might give us further evidence.
In any case, if it really is the Batterwitch I know who is after you, then I can assure you the danger is very real! And it honestly makes me fear for the life of my brother. I was already worried, but I had not yet realized how far she was willing to go against her own grandchildren. Please be safe, and I hope we can solve this mystery soon!
With love,
Jane
Dear Jade,
Our little experiment has wielded very interesting results! If I can trust what is written in that newspaper, Crockercorp is much more developed in your universe than in mine! I can also see that I really do not exist in your universe, or if I do, I do not have the same role in the company, because the part of the article that mentioned me in my issue is replaced by a couple lines about a random guy. I have to admit, it really makes me wonder to what extent our universes differ. How is it even possible to have two really similar universes that happen to be able to communicate? And how unlikely was it that the two people who do communicate are two people who don’t exist in the other universe?
I read in detail all the accounts of Crockercorp’s activities in your universe, and I must say it is kind of terrifying. Betty owns almost all of the market for food and drink, and is growing rapidly in various technological fields. Our Crockercorp can only dream of some of the advances your Crockercorp says it is making. I am not sure how much is true, but I think we are going to need documentation on Crockercorp. A lot of it.
Also, I really need to try and find a way to get away from the Batterwitch.
With love,
Jane
dear jane,
it has been a while since my last letter, you know how you just turn around to do a thing and when you’re done its six months later and you did not notice? but i think you will be happy to hear that i am now a doctor!! by which i mean, i have a doctorate in astrophysics, i am not actually the kind of doctor who can heal people and stuff :P in a way, you could say it is all thanks to you, because i would not have taken an interest in the subject if it was not for the books you sent me, and your frequent letters helped me greatly all along the way! i found a lab in boston where i can continue my research on the nature of space and the possibility of multiple universes. most people think its stupid but not these guys :)
i looked at the photographs you sent, the cc headquarters do seem bigger here, they own at least a couple more buildings on the block, and i found another company they use as a front so the list of their facilities is getting longer once again! i think you are right about their scientific section being the most important, at least it is the most hidden! i feel like they are more and more public about it though, they are probably getting more confident that they wont be bothered by the law, which must mean they are gaining political influence because some of the stuff i dug up is certainly not legal :\
you were asking about activity on the romantic front, well not much is happening im afraid!!! i had a short fling with one of the other students from my lab but it didnt last, she was just too afraid of her parents finding out and me too busy, and now im moving sooooo yeah nothing in sight! what about you, that guy from the shop, hmm? ;)
with love,
jade
Dear Jade,
I am very glad you asked, because things are going swimmingly with said guy from said shop! As a matter of fact, we started seeing each other a couple months ago (okay, more like just after my last letter) and you’ll never guess what happened: yesterday we were at the park, having a picnic by the lake, and he proposed to me!
Now, I don’t want you to think I am rushing things or anything, but… I told him I would give my reply today, and I am going to say yes! I may only have known him for six months, but I can’t find a single bad thing about him. He is just so nice, funny and charming! Not to mention his gorgeous nose and his beautiful mustache… He is actually the owner of the joke shop, he used to be an employee of another shop but he recently opened his own business with his savings.
So I am engaged! You will soon have to address your letters to Mrs. Jane Egbert. :B (I am joking there, you don’t actually have to address your letters to any name since I’m the only one who can receive them anyway!) I am hoping to hear from you sooner than last time, though!
With love,
Jane
dear jane,
i am very happy that you are getting married! though it is a complete surprise :O i stop writing for half a second (or half a year. hrmmm) and all of a sudden young maiden jane crockers life takes a huge turn and she is about to become young bride jane egbert! to be fair i would be kind of worried youre making a hasty decision to get away from cc if it were someone else. but knowing you, you have probably thought of everything and youre doing it for the right reasons :)
i would love to be able to attend your wedding! curse you, universe difference >:( but ill find you a gift for sure, and you have to send me pictures! i am certain you and mr egbert will make the most loveliest couple!!!! especially if he has a joke shop and a mustache :B i think married life will be great for you! personally i dont look forward to it but who knows, maybe ill change my mind someday. maybe ill even become a grandma! life is full of surprises after all! congratulations on your man and lots of love,
jade
Dear Jade,
Congratulations on the publication of your article! I read over the copy you sent me, but I admit to not understanding much of it. I am not really the scientific type myself. :P Though I do find the bit I understood about the universe being infinite while having a finite volume really interesting. I hope you pursue your research on the subject, it seems to make you very happy!
I also have wonderful news to share with you: I just gave birth to a wonderful baby boy! He is still tiny but he already looks just like his father (except for the mustache. :P) I’ve never seen a baby with such a strong nose before. It makes him that much cuter! But as much as I love taking care of him, I can’t wait to get back to work in the shop. Did I tell you that my loving husband practically had to drag me out to get me to go on maternal leave? Maybe, just maybe, I am a bit too invested in my job. :D But can you blame me? It is just so great! While I liked working at the bakery, I LOVE the joke shop. Looking for new products is really amusing, and giving advice to children on how to pull the best pranks on their siblings is the BEST part. We recently expanded the shop with costumes, and we have a witch costume that would be perfect on you! You should see it, it really is adorable. I keep telling my husband to stop smoking his pipe everywhere he goes, the whole shop smells of tobacco and it’s not good for the baby, but he just won’t listen! He is just so stubborn, I guess that is a trait we share!
But for now, I have to care for the little one, and soon we’ll be able to get a nanny for him. He grows up so fast! I joined some pictures his daddy took. Isn’t he adorable? With love,
Jane
dear jane,
congrats!!!!!! i cant believe youre a mom now :O where has our youth gone? hahahaha im kidding you and i are still as young and fresh as spring flowers :D he is super adorable, he does look a lot like his dad but he also takes from you!!! he has your eyes! im sure with you as a mom he will grow up to be a wonderful person:D
also i really cant blame you for being a workaholic, not with my record of all-nighters at the lab!!! hehehe :) but its starting to pay off, my associates and i have a lot of ideas for applications of my research and i have been approached by a bunch of investors! there was even a guy from crockercorp, can you believe it??? i turned him down of course but the old witch got some nerve to ask me back now, like she hasnt regularly tried to kill me over the last twenty years >:( but its no use, im never going back! we are going to launch our own company with my university buddies and we will compete with her directly! she is going to be so mad about it >:) we are still trying to come up with a name, the guys suggested englishcorp but im not that narcissistic yet hahaha :D what do you think about the name skaianet?
im also sending pics of my baby, which is actually more of a compact electric motor, shhhh! it works really well, though i have yet to find a suitable energy source for it because its not very useful if it has to be plugged all the time! the team and i are also going to be working on computers, we want to make them more powerful and smaller so its possible to do stuff on them that isnt just calculations, maybe make them small enough for everyday use so people could have their own computer at home, and i sort of had the idea that we could modify them to plug them in the phone lines so they could communicate with one another, but thats a project for another day :)
more good news, could you believe it: i finally heard back from my brother john! well, not exactly, i actually saw him on tv in one of the sitcoms you love so much, something called night court? he plays the main character! he has grown into a very handsome and very mustachioed gentleman :B sadly, contacting him would get the batterwitch on my trail immediately, but at least i know hes safe and sound and building a life and a career for himself :)
anyway take care of yourself and the baby, and dont work too much like i do, you still have a shot at a real social life:) with love,
jade
dear jane,
i have exceptional news! well you would already know if you read the papers from this side, but the plus side of this universe situation is that i can tell you myself:) are you prepared? alright: this girl right here just got the nobel prize for physics :D:D:D told you it was exceptional! you can imagine the state i am in, im jumping up and down around the lab like a six year old on christmas day!!! everyone i ever spoke to wants to congratulate me and i practically had to bar my office door but they really cant be as excited about it as me!
other good news: skaianet is doing better than ever before! you were right when you said i should continue on my idea of connecting the computers via the phone lines, we launched a new company in the group that provides a connection to that net for a monthly fee and everybody wants a computer that can be plugged on it :) our marketing team called it the internet, does that sound cool or what? for now you can send messages through it, kind of like the mail but much faster, and we are making a system to put the phone book on it so you can easily find the phone number of any person on the planet, i think its pretty neat :D i have a ton of ideas for it!
and i finally found something to power my motor! a single nugget of an ounce of uranium could power three hundred of them for two weeks without interruption! agreed, its not the most practical thing, but just think about it: with three hundred of my motors, i can build a robot that is strong enough to lift a car and can perform acts as delicate as basic surgery. just imagine all the good it could do if robots like these were available in the aftermath of a tornado or a landslide! all the lives that could be saved! compared to that, finding all that uranium doesnt sound so unnecessary, does it? of course, there is still the problem of controlling them, but with the fast-paced advances of computer tech, i believe the world could be filled with robots by the end of the century!
i actually got the idea of using uranium from examining my sendificator, we finally bought for the lab a scanner that let me get a good look at its inside and it is powered by uranium too! the tank is less than a third full, but judging by how long it has worked, id say its still good for at least thirty years :) the way its made is really interesting, i dont recognize all of the parts but some of them i do know were certainly not available when we were thirteen! their make is also pretty different from what we have here and now, the design doesnt look like anything ive seen before. this leads me to believe they were made with alien tech, from the batterwitchs home planet, or maybe another planet we dont know of? its hard to make assumptions with literally no idea of whats out there! im trying to observe it more closely but i dont want to risk breaking it by opening it so its a bit harder. i can definitely use some of whats in there in my own tech though! ill keep you updated, expect long letters!
with love,
jade
Dear Jade,
Congratulations! Wow, the Nobel prize, it’s not just anything! I wish I could celebrate with you… But I did make a toast in your honor at dinner yesterday, my husband was pretty confused but our boy was overjoyed because I let him drink alcohol for the first time. :) Can you believe he’s off to college in September? Time has passed so quickly… Out of curiosity, I looked up who got the Nobel prize for physics on this side, and I discovered it was a guy named Jake Harley. He looked sort of familiar, but at first I could not remember where I knew him from, so I did some research and turns out it’s my brother Jake ! He actually owns this side’s Skaianet, that’s how I figured it was him. This further confirms our theory that he is your alter-ego in this universe and your brother John is mine in your universe! So I guess this makes us some sort of sisters? I tried to get in touch with him but he is very elusive and every communication has to go through at least three secretaries before reaching him, I assume to protect himself from Crockercorp, and of course with a name like Jane Crocker there’s no chance my letter is ever reaching him. I’m kind of sad I can’t speak with him again, but he seems successful and happy, and seeing that makes me happier too :) I’ll tell you if I have any news about that.
I read the newspaper clippings you sent me, Crockercorp does still seem a lot tamer on my side, though it also has a very aggressive market strategy, they did not develop their activities in technology as much, but they are buying food companies left and right and growing fast. Be careful with them, they might try to attack Skaianet and weaken it so they can buy it, I’ve had reports they’ve done it on this side for a number of industrial pastries and candy makers, so please proceed with care!
Your idea of robots sounds great, but couldn’t it be dangerous? I mean, it sounds really close to what Crockercorp has been making… Plus, if they were to fall under the control of a person with bad intentions, they would end up as an extremely powerful army that never sleeps, never eats, is never tired or afraid… That is not a very pleasant perspective! So please don’t make any hasty decisions.
With love,
Jane
dear jane,
i understand your concern but i assure you, these will be equipped with the best protections, we will defend them to the best of our ability! dont worry, they will be almost impossible to break into :) we are working on them already and making quick progress, i should have a working prototype within the year! it will be nothing too fancy for now, but ideas are flowing over here and i would not be surprised if our first models roll out of the factories five years from now :D you always worry too much, i realize the danger here but if we want to beat the old witch we have to take bold initiatives! im taking all necessary precautions to reduce risks to a minimum. of course we can never reach a hundred percent safety, but we have the best of the best here at skaianet and every one of them is dedicated to this project.
with love,
jade
dear jane,
i was wrong
oh god i was so wrong sorry im sorry
she took control of the robots she controlled them she sent them all after me and she murdered two i killed two of my lab assistants they were in the way of the robots theyre dead they died because of me
i should have listened to you, you told me but i didnt listen!!! i knew this could happen i was so blinded by my ideals i should have been more careful i should have given them more protectio i should never have built them in the first place, you were right the whole time im sorry im so sorry they died because i didnt listen i was too proud this is all my fault
i destroyed them every last one of them i shot their power sources and their processors and i blew them up and threw them in the incinerator until there were only metal scraps left even the unfinished ones that didn’t have legs or cameras or processors there’s nothing left but the assistants are still dead
we buried them this morning and i couldnt go to the funeral i could not face their husbands and children and parents and friends i could not show up in front of them after what i did im sorry im sorry i just cant pull it together when i was younger i could but now i cant anymore why did i have to grow old and become like this why did i grow old and they didnt why is it that i outlived them im such a coward they deserved to live more than i do
please forgive me.
jade
Mrs Jane Elizabeth Egbert, née Crocker, has the regret of announcing the passing of her husband, Mr John William Egbert, on December 12th. Mr Egbert passed away in his sleep after five months of battling lung cancer. He will be deeply missed by his friends and relatives and fondly remember as a loved husband and father and a kind and selfless man.
Dear Jade,
I cannot answer your questions. I don’t know why we must grow old and see the people we love be torn away from us. I don’t know why we have to live to watch our friends and family die around us. I have no answers. I wish I did. This is the way it has always been. If we had known from the beginning how it would have ended, maybe we would have chosen another path, but we could not know and we must live with the ending we had. You can either blame yourself or move on, but what good would it do to your assistants if you wallowed in culpability for the rest of your life? What good would it do to their families? You made a mistake, and it led to the suffering of people around you: you are only human after all. Maybe you would have avoided this outcome if you had followed my advice, or maybe not; how could you had known I was right? The only thing I know is that you didn’t kill them, the Witch did. Remember that always.
Now, you need to present your condolences to these people’s families, and leave it behind you. There are still people who count on you to not fall apart, people who need you. You have to carry on, and if you won’t do it for yourself then do it for them, because the world doesn’t stop running and we must run along.
With love,
Jane
dear jane,
im sorry i did not write sooner, but a lot happened in my life since my last letter. after the events i told you about, i was at my lowest point. i didnt have the will to do anything anymore, i stopped working, i was unable to keep skaianet from crumbling and going bankrupt and i was actively seeking crockercorps assassins. i kept trying my best to pick a fight with her, even more than i always did, and i probably would have ended up destroying myself if i didnt find him.
i was wandering around a crockercorp facility, looking for trouble to keep my mind off things, when a meteor hit a cinema nearby. it was closed, thank god, but it caught on fire, and i rushed inside to see if there were any victims in need of assistance, but when i got to the crater, there was only a baby boy with black hair and a pair of glasses. he couldnt have been older than six months, and was just sitting right here, in a meteor crater, like nothing had happened. there was nobody around, only that baby, and i knew from the moment i saw him that we were… i dont know, linked in some way. so i grabbed him and ran home as fast as i could before the trouble i came looking for found me. i checked with the police, and no baby matching his description had been declared missing, so i adopted him. i named him jake, like your brother. i knew we wouldnt be safe here in america, so i gathered all that was left of my fortune and bought two plane tickets. we travelled halfway across the world to a small island in the pacific ocean, where there once was a crockercorp facility. after a bit of work, the abandoned labs make a nice home for the two of us. i dont know how much longer we can live here without the witch coming for us, but this kid changed my life, and i know i will protect him until my dying breath. he gave me a purpose when i had none. he is the most important thing in my life now. i understand what you feel as a mother. i hope i can be even half as good as you.
with love,
jade
dear jane,
it has been nearly three years since the last i heard from you. everyday i wake up hoping for a letter that never comes, and i keep writing to you, but i feel like this letter i am writing will be the last. there has been agitation on the neighboring islands lately, and i dont think we are alone here anymore. i am trying to set up our way out, to run away, but i am so old now, i dont know if i can do it anymore. i got out every last weapon i have, all my guns are loaded and im ready to give them a hell of a time before they get this old girls skin, but i can feel the end coming, its breathing down my neck in anticipation. i knew how it would end a long time ago. i am prepared.
the one regret i have is that i could not care for jake longer than this. he is one of the two greatest things that ever happened to me, and he is far too young to become an orphan a second time. he is the reason i head into this fight with such determination, because i would give up all i have to stay with him just a little bit longer. i left with him everything i could teach him, every machine i could build, everything i could give, but it can never be enough. jake, if this letter ever finds you, i want you to know im sorry i could not be enough. your old grandma loves you more than she could ever put into words. im certain youll grow up to be a wonderful man, and im sorry i wont be there to see it anymore. please forgive me. i love you.
jane, my old friend, i love you and i always have. if i could go back, i would tell you a thousand times how much you matter to me, so you could never doubt it. i wish i could have seen your face, i wish i could have held you in my arms at least once. i hope i can get into paradise, so i can finally be at your side. i hope these words reach you. be assured you were the best friend i ever had.
with love,
jade