Work Text:
Kurt isn’t snooping when he finds it. Really, he’s not.
He doesn’t usually use Blaine’s laptop-- he doesn’t need to, their schedules are so hectic that it’s a necessity for them to each have their own-- but he’s sprawled lazily across the couch, fiddling with the remote and waiting for Blaine to finish making popcorn, when he suddenly remembers he was expecting an email.
Blaine’s laptop rests closed on the coffee table under a few loose papers and truthfully, he’s just too damn tired to get his own. He leans on his side over the edge of the couch and reaches for the laptop, settling back against the cushions once he retrieves it and propping it open on his stomach.
The screen flashes to life with something Blaine’s left open, a white screen littered with tiny black text. At first, Kurt thinks it’s a news article of some sort, but then he notices there’s continual dialogue and realizes it’s a book.
Or a story-- maybe a script?-- and then in rapid succession he reads Blaine’s name, his own name, and some very descriptive words that make his cheeks flush hot.
Last time he checked, neither him nor Blaine worked in the porn industry.
His brain clicks together at lightning speed and he sits up.
“Uhm… Blaine, honey?” he calls towards the kitchen. “Can you come here for a sec?”
Blaine pokes his head around the corner, eyebrows scrunched together adorably at the tone of Kurt’s voice. “What is it?”
Kurt opens his mouth, closes it, and opens it again slowly. At the moment, every word in the English language is completely failing him.
Luckily for him, Blaine’s eyes flicker between his startled expression and the laptop in his lap for a few moments before his entire face dawns in realization and his skin shoots beet red.
He fumbles into the living room, flustered and hands twitching, and yeah-- that’s really all the confirmation Kurt needs.
“It’s, uhm, I-”
“Are you reading fanfiction?” Kurt asks, voice finally squeaking out high pitched and shocked. “Fanfiction… About us?”
Kurt’s not an idiot, he knows this stuff exists and he avoids it like the plague. It creeps him out in a way that’s difficult to describe. He doesn’t like people characterizing him or writing about his appearance and actions in ways he can’t control. It feels overly invasive and personal on a level that extends past the life of privacy he’s already sacrificed for his career.
He just didn’t realize Blaine went actively searching for it.
“Well, it’s… it’s not what it looks like,” Blaine stutters, pinned to his spot across the room in embarrassment. Kurt raises his eyebrows expectantly. “It’s- it’s not like I was...? I was, I dunno... it was just curiosity? I wanted to know what people wrote about us, you know?”
Kurt looks back at the screen, reads one line, and shutters. “And that’s why you picked full on smut to read?”
The blush on his husband’s cheeks darkens impossibly redder. Kurt’s still deciding whether he’s offended-- it feels like he’s caught Blaine watching porn, except… It’s him? Should he be flattered?
Because there’s also a part of him, dammit, that’s admittedly intrigued. Not at the fanfiction itself but at the thought of Blaine searching for what’s apparently erotic fanficiton about them.
Maybe he’s just found an entrance into the vault of his husband’s fantasies.
Actually, Kurt can work with this.
His lips twist up into a devious smirk, and Blaine’s eyes edge wider. In fear or excitement, Kurt can’t tell. Probably both. He’ll take either.
He scrolls to the top of the page and reads the tags, glancing up at his husband in amusement. “Seriously, Blaine? Teacher and student?”
Blaine groans, dropping his head into the shield of his hands.
“I don’t even want to know which one of us is the teacher.”
“You are,” Blaine supplies, shifting self consciously on his feet. Kurt’s eyebrows shoot up.
Oh, he can so work with this.
Kurt reads for a few minutes before snorting loudly. “Blaine, this position we're in isn’t even physically possible.”
Blaine rolls his eyes, releasing an embarrassed chuckle and apparently deciding it’s safe for him to approach Kurt. He settles on the couch next to Kurt and tucks his face against Kurt’s shoulder.
“Please go easy on me.”
Kurt squeezes his thigh, an affectionate gesture that lets Blaine know he isn’t actually upset with him. And that he’s also nowhere near done with the teasing.
“Oh, sure,” he scoffs, eyes skimming the paragraphs. “Roll over and push it in that easily, like there’s no preparation involved at all.”
Blaine does giggle at that and Kurt can’t help the smile that spreads across his lips. And then his jaw drops.
“A ruler? I’m spanking you with a ruler?”
“It’s sexy,” Blaine defends, pinching his thigh in retaliation, and Kurt files that one away for later.
“You can’t actually be comfortable reading how people describe your ass, Blaine,” Kurt mutters as he continues reading, just a small flare of jealousy beneath his words. This author is quite descriptive, but Kurt doesn’t need some stranger on the internet telling him how scrumptious his husband’s butt is.
“Mmm, are they wrong though?” Blaine kisses up his neck, small sucks of soft wet lips on his sensitive skin.
“No.” Kurt rolls his eyes. He’s not about to admit that this is kind of turning him on.
“Keep reading,” Blaine whispers hot into his ear. “Find the paragraph where they talk about your abs.”
Kurt feels the flush travel down his neck at the husk of Blaine’s voice. He supposes he can forgive the author a little bit for doing justice to his abs.
He reads the rest of the story with Blaine mouthing at his neck, pulling the skin between his lips and sucking Kurt’s pulse point in flutters. He bites at the skin, then soothes over the ache with sweeps of his hot tongue, body warm and solid against Kurt’s side, and Kurt’s really starting to wonder why they haven’t done this before.
He’s getting the appeal-- it’s not at all realistic, and the logistics of the story make him want to slam his head against the wall-- but that’s kind of what makes it so alluring, so arousing and filthy.
He’s imagining a wanton school boy Blaine, collard shirt rumpled and untucked, hair distressed, bent over his desk with those round, red slapped cheeks spread wide, begging to be fucked--
And then he gets to the bottom of the page and shrieks because there actually is a visual. “Jesus Christ, Blaine! There’s a drawing!”
“I know.” Blaine licks the curved shell of his ear with the tip of his tongue. “Thank God we have such talented fans.”
Kurt rolls his eyes and hates himself for silently agreeing.
“Did you read any other ones?” he can’t help but ask.
“Not really,” Blaine replies between kisses at his throat. Kurt tips his head back, bares more of his neck for the heat of Blaine’s mouth. “A lot of them are fucking weird. Apparently people like to write me as a dog?”
Kurt’s snort tapers off into a moan when Blaine sinks his teeth into the junction of his shoulder. “That’s, oh-- that’s probably the most realistic thing I’ve heard yet, honey.”
Blaine huffs indignantly, then pulls back to gaze at Kurt, pupils blown and lips puffed cherry red with friction, looking so much like sex incarnate Kurt could weep. His whole body craves him, stomach clenching and simmering deep with keen wanting.
“Wait, you’re not-- you’re not mad at me right?” Blaine asks, and Kurt smiles, sets the laptop aside and sweeps the flat of his palm up the side of Blaine’s thigh, cupping the swell of his ass and dragging him into a straddle across his lap, heavy and aching.
“I don’t know, I’m thinking you may need to be punished.”
Blaine’s eyes light up and he sucks his plush bottom lip between his teeth.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Kurt breathes, rubbing his hands up Blaine’s biceps, feeling the firm muscle beneath his fingertips. “I have a ruler on my sewing table, you know.”
“Do you now?” Blaine feigns innocently, eyelashes fanned long and sweet.
“It may not be as seamless as the fanfiction,” Kurt warns, but Blaine cuts him off with a searing kiss, sealing their lips together and slipping his wet, searching tongue into Kurt’s mouth.
“It’ll be perfect,” he answers, panting in between hungry kisses that Kurt draws out of his lips, deep and sucking. “Because it’s real. And it’s you.”
And really, who is Kurt to disagree?