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War was over.
That was the first thought that came to his mind as soon as he opened his eyes.
The dragon queen had fought and won and now the war was over. Sometimes Jaime had to repeat that to himself even if two years had passed. Sometimes it was a hard thing to believe.
All the things he did and the ones he loved were buried in the past now. His sister, his children, his father and mother, Aerys and all the battles he fought, the men he killed, the sins he committed, all of them were gone.
The things I did for love.
Jaime looked at the white ceiling and blinked a couple of times while he was trying to adjust to the intensity of the light in the room. He could hear the birds singing and the sound of the waves smashing on the rocks of the coast. By now the smell of salt was something that he was familiar with but sometimes it was too much to handle.
Tarth. He was in Tarth.
When the war was over, Tyrion offered him the rock, but Jaime refused it. He wasn’t a golden lion, not anymore. Instead, he took a ship and went directly to the island, to her.
“Pa”
Jaime heard and his eyes met with Brienne and their baby in her arms when both of them entered into the room.
Shit. It was supposed to be him taking care of his daughter not his wife.
“I’m sorry I—”
“It’s okay, I woke up early today, Podrick sent a raven last night, he wants us to meet his future lady.” Brienne said with a little smile on her face as she came closer to the bed where Jaime was still lying. She climbed into the bed, Jaime moved his body and sat on it.
“Pa”
His daughter babbled again and tried to reach him with her little hands.
“Come here sunshine.”
Jaime said and used his left arm to sit her on his lap.
“Did you wake your mother? You are something else aren’t you Cat? So beautiful.”
He left a kiss on her little golden curls. They’d named their daughter Catelyn, in honor to the woman who had had faith on them, she was gone but her name and the memory of a fierce woman would remain with them forever.
Brienne was watching them like she wanted to keep that moment stuck in her mind forever.
Forever. It was a heavy word.
Jaime smiled at her and she reached a hand just to grab one of the little checks of their daughter.
“She looks like you.” She said.
“And like you.” Jaime answered, their baby had the Lannister’s hair but she also had the blue of Brienne’s eyes too in hers, the best of two worlds.
“I’m going to say yes because it’s too early in the morning for us to fight.”
She laughed and he did it too. If someone had told him that a wonderful life was awaiting for him at the end of the war, he would have laughed and said that it wasn’t possible. He had fathered children but he didn’t get the chance to be a real one. The gods weren’t good enough for them to give Jaime another chance to start again. He had wasted all his life trying to do what he thought that was right and in the way, he had hurt so many people. Of course the seven hells were the only thing awaiting for him.
“We haven’t fought since… well I don’t quite remember, it is a good thing?”
Cat babbled again and hit her own legs with her little hands like she was asking for attention.
“Yes, I think it is a good thing.” Brienne said. The years had passed over his wife but the only thing that changed was her hair, now the golden mane touched her back.
The days where Brienne had dragged him all around the country seemed like if they had passed a thousand years ago. Where they weren’t able to even talk two sentences without yelling at each other. Now how things had turned for them.
“I had a dream, again I—” He couldn’t even finish the complete sentence without that odd feeling that always grew inside him every time he talked about the past.
“I know, I felt you but I didn’t want to wake you up.” She moved her body a little bit closer next to him.
She knew, of course she did. They’d been together long enough for them to know what was going on in their minds. She knew everything about him. His dreams, his nightmares, his sins, his love, his loyalty and his memories. She knew all of them and yet Brienne never asked for explanations or for him to forget those.
And for that, Jaime loved her.
“I was there, at the gates of Winterfell… that night, I dreamed about that night Brienne. I’m sorry.”
“There’s nothing to forgive, it happened so many years ago, now we are here… together.”
The things I did for love. Only that it wasn’t love, not until he met Brienne.
“You were crying and I walked away… from you, from this.” He looked at his daughter, she was quiet in his arms, like if she knew what was happening there.
“It was a dream, just a dream.” Brienne took his hand, his only one. “Nothing else matters, everything is gone Jaime, nothing counts now.”
“I had to, you know right? I had to go away, I had to finish it on my own.”
He remembered the face his sister had put that day. She looked so terrified for all the destruction in the city, she was alone. She had thought Jaime was there to save her and had hugged him so tightly that Jaime thought he would die.
The things I do for love.
He told that to himself in the exact moment a dagger went through Cersei’s heart.
“I know, and you came back to me… that’s the only thing that matters now.”
Tears filled his eyes. It was something difficult to remember, yet he had to. Jaime sobbed, he still was a broken man but he was healing or at least he was trying to, one day he would look back at this moment and think about how much he had grown in all this time. He had a reason to live, a reason to keep going, a reason to love again.
He had a family now, a real one and in his hands (well, hand) laid the opportunity to do it right. And again, he looked at them, at his wife and precious daughter, the two reasons life had a meaning and thought that maybe, just maybe the gods weren’t that awful.