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"I can do it."
At first he thought that she was joking. There was no way that the little muse that was afraid of everything would actually volunteer for something that most men would refuse. It was atypical.
She fainted as soon as he shot a man, she ran away from him just as he pushed her towards a horse.
“I am the only one that can swim at least 6 meters under the surface of the water without dying.”
Her posture made him not question her words, but that was his profession. He had to question everything and so he did.
“Mock me all you want. Make fun of me for as long as you want because I didn’t care for your politics, history and economy, but do not dare question my competence.”
And the truth hit him, when he saw her on the edge of a plank jumping up and down.
She was wearing practically nothing, but it didn’t faze her. Her eyes were fixed on the surface of the water.
He understood. Their worlds were different. That was the reason why she acted like she did. She was lost in a place where nothing resembled what she knew and she tried to survive. And in the process she got herself the protection of the most powerful warlords.
As she jumped in the water he observed the ease with which she separated from the wood and he noticed the smile that she had when she resurfaced minutes later. And he wondered how many times she did that in her life, how many hours did she practiced that jump, that she could do it with such grace.
It was her happiness that drew all people around her. The joy that she found in small actions made her irresistible. It made his heart warm up.
She was the break that everyone needed. A person that would stick their tongue out whenever they would return covered in blood and joke about something that happened that day. She was someone that heard the rumors but didn’t believe them until they were proven.
And he knew that first hand. It made his heart warm up.
“Why the long face?” And the one plaguing his thoughts was before him. She was no longer wet, but her happiness was still there.
“Little mouse, are you sure that is a wise thing to step in here without a care? I want to remind you that if you scream, no one will come.”He put the letter he was reading away, knowing that every minute taken as a break was going to produce much more work for him, just as she kneeled in front of him.
“Do I have a reason to scream or a reason to be afraid?” she questioned as she placed a tray on the table that was between them.
“I know that you don't have a taste sense, but you have to eat. And I know that you will say that you will do and bla bla, but I don’t care.” Her stern look made him laugh. There were a few people that would dare to approach him in such a manner.
“I take it that you have an interest in me? And I didn’t know.” She pouted as she poured tea in the cups.
“You taught me to survive, I make sure that you don’t end up dead from starvation.” Her movements were no longer of that of a fraighted girl around him and she started to tease back.
“I will do as you say, only if I get something in return.” she looked at him as she leaned forward, and he could not read what was happening behind the dark eyes that were watching him.
“Tell me about your life before arriving here.” Their little secret.
“About what?” The smile on her face was so bright, that his first thought was that he would lock her, just to make sure that she was happy and content. He shrugged. He only wanted to listen.
He started to form a picture of her life, away from problems. But that picture was destroyed just as she started to talk. The pain was there, but it was different.
She stood day after day in front of people that had trauma and she tried to help.
“I try to look at each person and see something good in them, because as much as we like to to think that we made ourselves, the truth is that we are the sum of decisions made by others.” She took a sip from her tea, lost in thoughts. Her eyes were glassy, tears were threatening to fall with each word.
“Why are you doing this if it only brings you pain?” He could not understand the reason, if she actually had the power to choose what to do with her life.
“Because I can do it. Because for so many people, I might be the only one that actually cares, and maybe the reason they don’t cut their throats.”
She bit her lower lip, as she averted her gaze. And he hated her for her ability to hide her thoughts from him.
“I took enough of your time and I am going to leave you to do your work.” she stood up from her place and he was not going to let her run away from him. He had the time to actually grab her hand just as she returned to leave and to pull her towards him. She tripped over the table and landed in his arms.
Mitushide sure didn’t expect he would end up with the little mouse in his lap, with no desire from her to actually run.
He wiped her dampened lashes, before tears could actually fall.
“Little mouse, you are the first one that I found to actually cry because there are others sad in the world.” He wanted to bring her to reality, to make her see that people were never coming with their best intentions. But the paradox was that she was actually the exception. She didn’t expect anything from him and their deal was her giving him something, while he only received.
But he couldn’t do it. He shot a man in front of her and took her to the front, she looked at him with the same eyes, she ran to him with the same smile.
“You are horrible. I am not a toy. ” There was no chance of her escaping, as his hands kept her trapped against his body.
“What do you want from me?” He held her many times just like that, holding her close in order to tease her.
“I would say the truth, but I know it.”She smoothen a few strands of his hair, as her other hand was on his chest just above his heart.
“You know it? What truth is that?” He wanted to know what did the woman that fainted in his arms knew about him.
“You love it when I come running to you. And you are one of the most honest and truthful persons I have ever met.”
And he thought that his ear deceived him, that she was mocking him, but there was nothing about her that would actually tell him that she was lying.
“Now, you have two choices. You can kiss me or let me go. But remember that I hate to be lied to.” And he kissed her, because he wanted her to be his, even if it meant being selfish.
Because, near her, he might have a chance at salvation.