Chapter Text
Beomgyu has been able to visit people in dreams since he was in the 5th grade, or maybe even before that, he’s not exactly sure. He remembers his mother telling him about how he would make weird sounds as a toddler in his sleep and how he wanted to spend all day taking naps even at the age where most kids wanted to play past their bedtime. So maybe he’s had this ability since he was born, but he only remembers from that age forward. Despite that, it’s only recently that he started realizing to what extent this “blessing” of his is actually more of a curse.
All the members know that he's the kind of person who would rather sleep than eat, but they don't know the real reason behind this preference, and he likes to keep it that way. Sometimes he will even talk while asleep because his dreams are so vivid, and Beomgyu has considered sharing his secret, but then he figures that it is not that deep or important to require sharing. Would they even believe him? It’s kind of weird, but there’s not much difference between a lucid dream to what he does so… What would even be the point of telling them? They might think he’s either lying or crazy.
Usually, he doesn't have much of a choice in terms to who he's visiting in his dreams (it used to be people who are physically nearby, mostly his parents, neighbors, and friends whenever he had a sleepover), but he has absolute power about what he does in them and it somehow influences in his real-life too. He thinks it's a little like having a second life, and it comes in handy sometimes.
Like when he got in a fight with Soobin about his messiness and apologized profusely in his dream, and even though the older didn't really understand why he was feeling so inclined to forgive him the next day (since they had already resolved everything during the night), he was smiling at him and admitting his faults as soon as they saw each other in the morning.
Sometimes he tells Yeonjun his preferences for lunch and the next day the older would be craving it so badly that they end up buying it for the entire team.
He also plays games with Huening Kai and makes sure to keep his nightmares at bay, and it would normally only take mentioning his plushies or their leader for the bad and scary things to stir away from Kai’s mind, leaving a smiley and peaceful maknae behind.
Honestly, he keeps all of his members protected from nightmares, and he makes sure their dreams, no matter how weird, don't get too bad so they can have a proper rest. Soobin even once mentioned that ever since living together with the guys he’s had the best rest of his life. He attributes it to being too tired to not sleep soundly because of their hectic schedule, but Beomgyu knows better. It’s something he’s particularly proud of, but can’t brag about.
And then there’s Taehyun, he really is something else in Beomgyu’s opinion. His dreams are his favorite, and most of the time he doesn't interfere in them too much because they are just so beautiful and calm, like a movie or a documentary full of natural landscapes and poetry-turned-into-images. Sometimes the younger dreams of having a picnic by a cliff, and skies so clear that you can see galaxies, other times he dreams of flowers that give you compliments, people with cat eyes and literal clown shoes, missing a train to the market, sharing a sunset with the members while wearing onesies that look way too much like Huening Kai’s plushies. The thing is, he feels so at ease when he talks to Taehyun in his dreams, and his friend who is usually prone to be wise and oh-so-mature becomes so youthful at those times too. He asks for his advice about silly things like what hobby should he take on next, how do you even tie a bow tie? do you think dolphins are actually vicious creatures or is it just that they act too human-like? Do you think I’d have been a better magician or a wizard?
Sometimes he seems shy, and he looks at Beomgyu like he has all the answers in the universe with those starry eyes of his. As a result, it makes him feel shy. It’s unfair, because Taehyun is not going to remember their conversations the next day, and Beomgyu feels like there’s a relationship between them that’s being built on an uneven ground.
It’s a little bit like this: one night they manage to come to a great answer as to why Yeonjun hides his sketchbook so urgently from them, or make an inside joke that’s just too good not to use, but then he can’t say it in real life to tease their friends or make a comment about it. Or Taehyun would rest in his arms and talk to him about missing his family, and then he has to act like he doesn’t understand why the younger looks so distant and nostalgic the very next day.
He also feels like he’s getting more attached to Taehyun than what Taehyun is to him. And it’s so dumb of him because he knows he’s falling in love, but he can’t help but continue to visit him in his sleep.
When he was younger he wasn’t actually able to control it, but now, if he really wants to visit a particular person’s dreams he just has to visualize it with as much focus as possible before falling asleep. He did that for a long while, visiting Taehyun almost every night, but not anymore (or at least, not intentionally). He tries to think of any other member, but his mind always betrays him a few moments before he slips into unconsciousness.
That’s what’s been giving him the most trouble lately, not dance practice or the feeling of having to give his most for a performance, instead is the feeling of living a pretty lie that makes him feel so stressed out. It’s his own fault, really, but he wishes the younger would look at him the way he does in his dreams.
That’s also why his sleep schedule is so fucked up lately. He’s been playing games at night with Soobin to avoid going to bed too early and accidentally visiting Taehyun. He’s been taking naps during the day so he can avoid being asleep at the same time as his friend. It’s getting tiring really fast.
Today is an especially bad day for him since the words Taehyun said to him last night (a few hours ago) are still lingering in his mind: There’s this boy I like, what do you think I should do about it?
It sucks, for many reasons and on many levels. But it mostly just sucks for him. He’s not naive enough to think that his friend is interested in him, otherwise he wouldn’t have asked for his advice. And honestly, he’s just such a straightforward guy that he would have already done something about it, maybe even made a move, if he really liked Beomgyu as anything other than a friend. So what. His best friend is interested in a boy, he should be supportive, right? Maybe he should have considered this in terms of being a risk for their careers, or in terms of how society still has fairly traditional (read: archaic) views of love and relationships. But no, he didn’t say shit.
Oh, okay. Tell him, maybe?
Not his most brilliant move, but he can’t change anything about it now, can he? If he’s lucky enough, Taehyun will not remember a thing about his dream. Or he could remember everything and feel encouraged to do something that a supposedly figment of his imagination (read: Beomgyu) told him and just go for it and have a great romance and Beomgyu will just have to accept it and support him because he’s a good friend and he values friendships way more than stupid crush-like feelings.
It’s not that bad, honestly. So why can’t he stop crying? He should be happy.
Taehyun has a crush! It’s good, he’s so good, he deserves to feel love. And obviously this guy, no matter how straight he might potentially think he is, is going to fall head over heels for his friend, because Taehyun is just lovely like that. And he knows he’s a secretly hopeless romantic, so this crush of his doesn’t stand a chance against his charms.