Chapter Text
Race you!” James shouts before breaking into a run, weaving his way through the disgruntled shoppers lining Diagon Alley.
Teddy knows he shouldn’t. He’s not fourteen anymore, unlike James. He’s a grown man with a job in the Ministry, for Circe’s sake. Where people will forgive James’s indiscretions because of a well-timed wink and a boyish smile, Teddy risks a proper altercation.
He screws his face to the side, weighing his options, when James, having circled back, breaks through both the crowd and his thoughts.
“Your face looks ugly when you do that, you know?” he snarks, jogging in place a yard in front of Teddy, a mischievous smirk lighting up his freckled face. “Vic will never snog you again if it gets stuck like that. But she’ll probably never snog you again once she realizes you’re a boring old man now, either.”
Teddy scoffs and James’s grin widens at the reaction. Fuck ‘shouldn’t ,’ Teddy thinks, the job is more of an internship anyway, and he breaks into a full sprint – smacking James in the head as he races past the spirited teen.
Teddy arrives at the cafe relatively unscathed. He can’t say the same for the man whose foot he stepped on, but at least he’d managed to avoid ploughing into the man’s young daughter. He knows he had quite a lead on James so he chuckles to himself as he sets the scene. He calms his breathing and morphs his hair into something respectable, smoothing his crumpled clothes as he sits down at a table in front of an abandoned coffee cup. When the bell chimes, he looks up, unhurried, and is rewarded with the image of a panting James looking completely exasperated in his direction.
“There you are!” Teddy says with an over the top smile, lifting the coffee mug in greeting. “I would’ve ordered you something but I wasn’t sure what you’d want.”
“Oh, bullshit!” James laughs, falling into the empty seat next to Teddy. “You know you’re absolutely infuriating,” he says but in a way that makes it clear he finds Teddy anything but.
“Nah, you love me,” Teddy states matter-of-factly. “Now, let’s take a look at your supplies list,” he says as the waitress arrives, removing the dirty mug and taking their orders in turn.
By the time the food arrives, they have a plan of action for their shopping trip - even figuring out that they can transfigure Teddy’s old school robes, which will save James enough money to be able to upgrade his required broom purchase to the newest model.
“Hufflepuff doesn’t stand a chance this year with me on that broom!”
“Hmm, I might have to change my mind about offering up my robes if you’re going to use my kindness against the badgers. Or even better, I’ll jinx them!” he says excitedly.
“Please,” James deadpans. “Don’t think I didn’t see you representing the lion at our final last year. Admit it. It felt right, didn’t it?”
Teddy screws up his face. “Wasn’t as bad as expected,” he says, taking a sip of his drink. “But I could’ve done without all the ‘you look so much like your dad in that colour’ comments.”
“UGH,” James shouts dramatically, his head meeting the table briefly. “Whatever you do, please don’t mention that around Albus. He’s been absolutely insufferable lately for exactly that reason.”
Teddy just laughs, well aware of the challenges that Ginny and Harry are having with their middle child. Albus is great – he’s smart and has always been a bit more introverted, which Teddy can appreciate—but lately no one can deny that his quiet nature has transformed into surliness.
“So, are you coming to see us off?” James asks, using his fingers to fish out a cracker that has fallen into his soup.
“No. I can’t. Sorry.”
There’s a small pause as James licks the soup off of the tips of his fingers. “If Vic had another year I bet you’d come see her off.” James laughs, trying to sell it as a joke, but it’s clear there is truth behind his words.
“Oi!” Teddy says, poking James in the ribs. “That’s unfair. You know I work.”
“I know, I just… forget I mentioned it,” he says, bringing his full attention back to his soup. He takes a few bites before speaking again, barely a whisper. “I just don’t know why you like her.”
Teddy takes a moment to respond, confused by the turn in conversation. James has always taken the piss about his relationship with Victoire but this is the first he has ever expressed any real discomfort with the pairing. There’s a nagging voice in the back of his head that wonders if James has picked up on Teddy’s own perplexity about his relationship, or rather about the fact that Matteo from the mail room has recently started starring in more of his late night fantasies than his own girlfriend. He reckons that is impossible, though. “What can I say? I have a soft spot for people with Weasley genetics,” he jokes fondly, jostling James with his shoulder.
James offers a weak smile in return.
An uncomfortable silence settles over them. There’s an air of sadness around James that is completely at odds with his usual demeanor. Teddy hates it and desperately wants it to go away.
“How about I take my lunch break and apparate over to see you off?” he offers.
James looks up abruptly, clearly surprised by the suggestion. “You don’t have to,” James starts. “I shouldn’t have– “
“You should have, Jamie. You—“
Before he can continue, the bell on the door chimes, announcing someone’s arrival and pulling all of Teddy’s attention. An older man stands in the entrance and the moment Teddy lays eyes on him he is instantly ill-at-ease – his heart rate picking up and the hair on his arms standing. Something about the way he’s staring, the way he’s stalking towards them – like he doesn’t see anything in the room but James. In those milliseconds, Teddy wants to assume that this is someone who James wronged during their race but his mind won’t let him accept the best of this man. That’s when he sees it. The wand. The wand being raised. The wand being pointed directly at —
“JAMIE!” he screams, throwing his body forward.
And everything goes black.
Teddy blinks his eyes open against harsh lighting and stark white walls. His mind is foggy and his vision blurred, his chest tight with anxiety – its cause eluding him. A man to his left, his legs propped up haphazardly on the side of Teddy’s bed, is apparently having a steady stream of conversation with no one. It’s hard to make him out at first since Teddy’s eyes refuse to work properly but the man’s lime green robes give him away as a healer immediately.
This man is a healer .That’s when it clicks; the realization hitting him with the strength of a wayward bludger. He must be in St Mungo’s. Possibly for an injury sustained during the attack at the cafe – the attack on Jamie.
Jamie .
Teddy needs to know if he’s okay, he strains to make out the words but he’s failing, his body refusing to do what he’s asking of it. A flash of panic strikes as he thinks he must have a head injury, maybe he’s even paralyzed, but he bats those thoughts away as soon as they surface – he’ll deal with all of that after he finds out about James.
By calming his mind and his breathing, he’s able to focus all of his attention on moving the left arm that sits lifelessly across his stomach. He imagines lifting it with ease and smacking this healer’s foot with all of his strength.
It isn’t until he hears the man startle and sees the stack of papers flying into the air that Teddy realizes he actually did it – he made contact.
“Teddy?!” the man asks, and Teddy has only a moment to register how familiar that voice is before the man is on him – the glowing tip of his wand at his face, casting unfamiliar spells over Teddy’s arrested body.
“Teddy, can you hear me?” the man asks, a desperate edge to his voice.
Teddy tries to nod, to say something to acknowledge his question and ask the most important one of his own, but his mouth is so bloody dry.
“No, it’s fine. Don’t talk yet,” the man assures him. “Just blink twice if you understand me.”
Teddy swallows hard, concentrating on his eyes and blinks twice slowly.
“Jesus fucking Christ!” the very unprofessional healer exclaims before taking a few steps away from the bed and calling something unintelligible out the door.
A young mediwitch with light blonde hair comes to the room and there’s a moment where Teddy blinks and can see her properly, then just as quickly blinks again back to blurriness – that’s good though, his vision isn’t totally gone.
“Get Healer Monroe and contact my family immediately. Teddy is awake. He’s awake and he’s responsive,” the healer finishes, his words directed towards the young woman.
None of this matters though; Teddy needs to know that everything is okay, that James is okay. He tries again to speak but his words come out croaky and incoherent. “Shhh,” the healer placates, running a comforting hand over Teddy’s head. “It’s okay. Everything is okay. You’re in St. Mungo’s.”
Teddy is frustrated, he needs to make himself heard so he uses every ounce of his strength and croaks out one word, a quiet, “Jamie.”
The man freezes, his hand stilling against Teddy’s hair and his reaction causes Teddy to fear the worst. Maybe he doesn’t want to know anymore; maybe he should have stayed asleep if waking up means facing a world without James Potter. His eyes begin to tear as memories with his young godbrother – his favorite person – play in his head.
A lump forms in the back of his throat and he struggles to swallow around it, breathing hard through his nose. No matter how much this hurts, he needs to know now. “Is Jamie okay?” he whispers.
“Yeah,” the healer breathes, his voice thick and Teddy can feel his own relief so intensely – it’s like another person in the room. “Yes. Everything is okay, Teds. Everyone is okay now.”
Teddy isn’t sure whether it is the high emotions of the moment or just his mind going into self-preservation mode, but he believes the man whole-heartedly. He lets out a harsh breath and closes his eyes, allowing the hand in his hair to bring him some much needed comfort just as another healer frantically enters the room, breaking into his reverie.
“What happened?” the woman barks.
“I don’t know,” Teddy’s healer says, removing his hand and moving to stand on the far side of the room – Teddy wishes he wouldn’t go. “I was just in here for my lunch break like always and he bloody woke up.”
“Did you perform all the basic diagnostic spells?” the healer asks, while moving her wand in complicated patterns up and down Teddy’s body.
“Yes,” Teddy’s healer answers. “Nothing out of the ordinary.”
“Good, good,” the woman says before leaning down to speak directly to Teddy. “I’m healer Monroe. I’ve been your healer for your time here at St. Mungo’s. I’m sure you have many questions but first I need to ensure that there are no underlying complications which need to be addressed. So, are you experiencing any discomfort?”
Teddy nods and places his hand on his throat. “Sore and dry,” he croaks before motioning to his eyes. “And they’re very blurry.”
“That’s to be expected,” Monroe says, nodding happily before placing her wand to Teddy’s temple and muttering a spell that has Teddy’s vision instantly clearing. “Better?” she asks.
Teddy’s eyes dart around the room, taking in the harsh, white walls; the brightly coloured cards and photographs on his side table; the first healer he interacted with, who is leaned against the far wall, his head in his hands. He’s about to question the man’s odd demeanor when Monroe continues.
“You’ve been in a coma Mr. Lupin,” she says gravely.
Teddy’s attention snaps back to her. “A coma?”
“Yes, you –“ she starts but is interrupted by a very disheveled looking Harry and Ginny running into the room.
The two stop immediately at the healer by the door, speaking over each other in their haste for information.
“James, honey, we just got the call,” Ginny says.
“Is he really--?” Harry starts.
Teddy smiles his first smile since he woke up because Harry’s shirt is on backwards and he’s pretty sure that Ginny’s shoes don’t match. In spite of his fear, he feels very loved right now. “Harry? Gin?”
“Teddy,” Harry sobs with relief. “Oh my God, Teddy.” He lunges forward, his head full of unruly black hair falling to Teddy’s stomach as his body is racked with sobs.
Teddy startles, confused by his Godfather’s reaction. He looks up to Ginny in hopes of some clarity but she’s equally as distressed, crying softly, her face pressed against the healer by the door, which is... odd.
Teddy’s anxiety is back, clawing up his chest and forcing his breathing to come out in pants. He should feel comforted right now but he can’t shake this feeling of uneasiness, as if something is very strange – very wrong. It’s only when Harry sits up, asking if he’s okay, and smiling nervously, that Teddy realizes why– Ginny had said, James .
Ignoring his Godfather, he properly looks at the healer by the door for the first time – he’s a handsome man, probably in his early twenties with messy auburn hair and more freckles than you can count across the bridge of his nose. Teddy would know; he had tried one time, on that one sunny, autumn day in the backyard of the Burrow. That’s absurd though because that was just last year and James was an awkward boy going through puberty, not a fit healer who towers over his mother. Even as he thinks it though, Teddy knows it to be true, he knows that face, just as he knew that voice when he first opened his eyes, just as he knew the touch that comforted him through his first moments awake.
“James?” he whispers.
James swallows hard, a clear attempt to keep his composure, and nods.
“Like I was saying, Mr. Lupin,” healer Monroe continues, pulling his attention back to her. “I’m sorry to tell you but you’ve been in a coma – for the last six years.”
Six years? Healer Monroe goes on but Teddy can’t hear a word of it. He is falling - his heart beating out of his chest, his breathing coming in gasps, his vision blacking around the edges. Maybe he’s dying after all , he thinks, as his senses begin to fade.
Six years.
When Teddy opens his eyes again it’s, thankfully, to a much calmer scene. He’s happy to see that the lights have been dimmed and even more so, that Healer Monroe is no longer looming over him, relaying horrifying news.
Harry sits by the window, paging through papers and quietly cursing under his breath and Teddy smiles ear to ear when he looks to his right and sees his grandmother.
“Gran?”
“Oh, my love,” she says, standing and kissing him softly on his forehead the way she used to do when he was small. “I wasn’t sure I’d ever get to hear that beautiful voice again.”
Her voice is full of emotion but it doesn’t break — she’s Andromeda Tonks after all — the strongest woman Teddy knows. A brief pang of guilt shoots through his body at the thought that his absence was yet another cause for her to need to tap into that strength.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that, Gran.”
“Oh, don’t you dare,” she says fiercely, her eyes brimming with tears as she kisses him again. “I’m so proud of you. So bloody proud. And you’re okay now,” she finishes with a nod.
Harry is standing on his other side but hesitates to come any closer, a clear attempt to give them a moment of their own. Teddy reaches his hand out to his Godfather who accepts it easily, moving to the side of the bed.
“Are you feeling a bit better?” he asks, squeezing Teddy’s hand.
“A little less foggy,” Teddy admits, eyeing Harry properly for the first time. He's obviously recognizable as himself but now that Teddy is looking at him more closely, he can see the changes there — the fresh lines around his eyes, a bit of extra cushion around his midsection, a few extra wisps of grey. It's bizarre.
They sit in silence for a few minutes, the truth of what has transpired hanging over them. Everything about this feels entirely surreal, as if he’s going to startle awake at any moment, groggy and running fifteen minutes late for work. The fact that he’s lost so much time is nearly impossible for him to comprehend, but he knows in his heart that the sooner he accepts it, the better.
“Six years?” Teddy finally asks quietly.
“Are you sure you’re ready to hear it?” Harry asks, looking sympathetic. “James says we should take our time. He feels badly that he didn’t leave as soon as you woke up but, like us, he was just so bloody happy to see you awake.” He laughs but there’s not much humour in it, Teddy appeases him with a small smile of his own – this is so strange.
Wasting more time seems a ridiculous thing to do when faced with the loss of six years, though. “I’m ready,” he says, attempting to sit up and startling when he finds that he’s shaking under the weight of his own body.
Without a word, Harry grips him underneath his arms, and hoists him to a sitting position. “Thanks,” he says with a weak smile.
“James warned us about that too,” Andromeda says as Harry fluffs the pillows behind his back. “He says that your body is just not used to moving. It’ll come back quickly though.”
Harry retrieves a chair from against the wall and sits down at Teddy’s side.
He takes a deep breath before speaking. “Can you remember that day in Diagon Alley?” he asks solemnly.
Of course he can, he thinks bitterly, to him it was only yesterday – comments like that will only hurt them more though so he keeps it to himself and nods. “Yeah. James and I had popped into the cafe for a bite to eat before we started shopping,” he recalls. “You know how James gets when he’s hungry.” He lets out a small laugh but Harry is only eyeing him sadly. He wonders briefly if James is even like that anymore but quickly shakes the thought away, instead focusing on the memories of that day. “That man – as soon as he came in I knew something was wrong – that he was going to hurt James.” Teddy shivers under the memory of the man’s dead eyes trained on the young teen. His mouth is so dry, he looks to the side table and is pleased to see a small glass of water sitting there. His Gran holds it to his lips and he takes a small sip, grimacing as the liquid burns his throat.
“Anyway,” Teddy continues with a cough, he's ready to get this over with. “He went for his wand and I don’t really remember—”
“You jumped in front of him, Teddy” Harry interrupts, his voice breaking. “You jumped in front of my boy. You sacrificed yourself without even a thought.”
“You’re a hero,” Andromeda adds, her voice wavering. “Just like your mum.”
A hero? Is he a hero? He tries desperately to recall what was going through his head during the attack but it was so fast. There were no decisions made that he would take James’s place, whatever the fate, just this guttural, desperate need to get to James, to keep him safe.
“Someone else in the cafe was able to restrain him. He was using you boys to get to me, of course.” Harry takes a moment to compose himself and Teddy is surprised to see genuine hate pass across his God father’s face. “Anyway, he’s in Azkaban now.”
When it’s clear that Harry needs a break, his Gran carries on with the story. “We thought you were dead at first. They rushed you here as quickly as possible but, Teddy, you can’t even imagine. It looked so bad. Gods, little James was completely distraught,“ she says, totally lost in thought, “I’ll never forget them pinning him down and sedating him while he fought.”
Little Jamie Potter so fiercely protective of the people he loves, Teddy can see it so clearly, his pain and desperation, it breaks his fucking heart. He swipes at his eyes trying to remind himself that James is fine now, that he’d seen him earlier with his own eyes.
“They told us that the spell was killing you,” Andromeda continues. “That they had to induce a magical coma to give your body time to heal. It was only supposed to be for two months, just until your body could fight the curse. And that’s all it took, two months later and there was no trace of it anywhere in your system. We were all so hopeful but when they tried to wake you up – you wouldn’t.”
“We had every specialist from all over the world in here,” Harry cuts in. “Your body had been through so much, they said it just needed more time, something about self-preservation kicking in. That made sense at first but then —”
Teddy doesn’t want to hear about how they slowly lost hope, how they sat watching his lifeless body day after day, month after month, year after year, mourning someone who was right in front of them. He nods his head hoping that he can convey his understanding without their elaborating.
“So, James is a healer now?” he asks, changing the subject.
Harry smiles sadly. “First year but he’s already a damn good one,” he says with more than a hint of pride. “I think at first he was hoping that he could figure this out and wake you up.”
“Did he?” Teddy asks, remembering James at his side when he first opened his eyes.
“Nope,” an unexpected voice replies. Teddy follows the voice and his heart seizes up. Leaning against the door frame is James, his robes discarded but still wearing the lime green trousers and a white t-shirt. Age suits him – his playful demeanor enhancing his striking face, the t-shirt doing little to hide his sculpted body - he’s grown up to be quite beautiful. “That was the hope originally but it turns out that students and first year healers don’t know more than seasoned researchers and specialists. A small miscalculation on my part.”
For a moment, the room is silent, before Teddy’s face splits into a wide grin and a laugh bubbles to the surface. For some reason, he has been assuming that James would have changed over the years. He’s thrilled to see that’s not the case. “Well, you can’t be expected to be perfect all the time,” he says.
James gives him an easy smile, it might look superficial to everyone else but Teddy can see the emotions building there. He sits at Teddy's side, biting his lip in a clear attempt to stifle tears. “Hi, Teddy," he whispers.
Teddy smiles warmly, battling unexpected emotions of his own. "Hi, James."
James laughs, a warm sound that makes the bleak hospital room seem suddenly full of life "Is this okay?” he asks, motioning to himself in a tone that Teddy knows well — making it clear he's up to no good. “Not weirding you out too much? You’re not going to swoon and faint in my presence again?”
Teddy lets out a very unattractive snort. “I did not swoon.”
“Hey! You remember it your way, I’ll remember it mine,” he finishes with a dramatic wink that has Gran and Harry sharing eye rolls. “Seriously though," James says, dropping his voice, "okay?”
“Yeah,” Teddy assures him. “It’s weird – you being a grown up, I mean, but it seems like you’re still the same pain in my arse so there’s a certain familiarity there.”
James smiles a full toothy smile but Teddy can see the tears threatening to spill from his long eyelashes. He tries desperately to stop his mind from conjuring images of the James he knew sitting inconsolably at his bedside.
“How old are you now?” He asks, hoping to distract them both.
“Oh, uh, Twenty.”
“Twenty?” Teddy exclaims, an indignant sound leaving the back of his throat. “Jesus. So that makes me what, 26? I’m old!”
“OI!” Harry shouts.
Gran smacks him lightly on the shoulder. “What he said but even more offended!”
Teddy laughs but his mind is stuck on the fact that James is his age now. Well, not his age exactly, because he’s apparently twenty six years old . This is all too weird. He can’t do this to himself, can’t think about what that amount of time lost means for him. He can feel it there – the clamminess of his hands, his heart beating rapidly beneath the drab hospital gown – his mind wants to spiral but he can’t let it.
“Albus and Lily?” he asks suddenly, too suddenly he’s sure but to their credit, everyone ignores it.
“They’re good,” Harry says. “Lily is still at school and Albus is studying magizoology – habitat design specifically. We wanted to give you time before bringing in everyone you’ve ever met. Ginny went to fill them in though.”
“And uh, Vic?” he asks quietly, only now realizing her absence.
Something dark passes across James’s face as the silence stretches long enough that Teddy gathers that it’s bad news.
“A lot of time has passed, Teddy.” Harry mumbles.
Teddy understands his meaning without needing him to elaborate. He nods his head wondering why he doesn’t feel more sadness, maybe he is just in shock.
“She’s okay though?” Teddy directs his question to Harry, sensing James’s and his Gran’s growing agitation.
“Yeah, definitely,” Harry insists. “She’s living in France.”
“I never liked her anyway,” Gran spits, abruptly.
“Amen, Grandy!” James shouts, high fiving Andromeda who lets out a bark of laughter.
And that’s new. They always enjoyed each other’s company, but Teddy would have never considered them close. From the way they’re laughing together, though, their affection is apparent. “Grandy?” he asks.
“Oh, right,” James smiles sheepishly. “She’s been renamed. It started as Gran Andy but now…Teddy meet Grandy. I also hate to break it to you but I’m now her favourite. We all know that was inevitable though.” They all chuckle, as James stands. “Well, I have to get back to rounds but I really came in to deliver this.” He makes an over dramatic flourish with his hands before producing a small tub of blue jelly. “They only have orange today but lucky for you, I know where they keep the good stuff.” He flashes Teddy a conspiratorial grin and winks, his dimples flashing in a way that makes something strange twist Teddy’s chest. And that is definitely new.
As Teddy watches him leave, he can’t help but think that little Jamie Potter may have grown up to be too charming for his own good.
The next two weeks pass in a blur of family visits, countless tests with Healer Monroe, and grueling physical therapy sessions with James. He never would have guessed that being so loved and cared for would be so exhausting. But he’d be lying if he said that having people constantly around him wasn’t slowly smothering him to death. Well, with the exception of James, that is.
Interacting with James is effortless, albeit a bit strange in retrospect. The comfort and familiarity from childhood never leaves, sometimes making Teddy feel as though no time has passed for them. Other times, Teddy feels like he is meeting him for the first time, not a childish companion who keeps Teddy young but an intelligent peer with a sharp wit and disarming smile.
Today Teddy has been forced to suffer hours without that smile while he struggles through awkward small talk with his best mate. Or he supposes Mattie might not still count as his best mate after six years apart? Six years during which Mattie – unreliable, always horny Mattie – has apparently gotten married and had a kid.
Life is weird.
“So your wife is a healer?” he asks, pulling at the hem of his shirt and feeling immensely grateful that he is being allowed to wear his own clothes now.
“Yep,” Mattie says jovially, apparently unaware of the awkwardness of the situation. “She and James are actually quite good friends. They did their rounds in the Poisoning Ward together last year.”
“Ahh.”
“That reminds me, we were thinking that once you are home and back up on your feet, maybe we could have you two over for dinner? Or even just drinks after the baby goes to bed?” Mattie looks so hopeful — like he can’t wait for things to go back to normal. As if there’s any such thing as normal for Teddy anymore.
“That’d be great,” he lies, wondering if faking a seizure to make this conversation stop would be too extreme a reaction. He is not sure why he’d thought he was emotionally ready to see Mattie – ready to be reminded of where he is supposed to be in life had six years not been stolen from him. Would he have been Mattie’s best man at his wedding? Would he be the baby’s Godfather? He can feel the panic clawing from the inside of his chest, like a beast thrashing against the metal bars that restrain it. If he doesn’t let it out, it will surely kill him. He needs to be alone.
“Hey there!” James’s welcome voice breaks into Teddy’s mind moments before he succumbs.
“Hey!” Teddy says on an exhale, feeling some of the tension release from his shoulders.
James eyes him thoughtfully before placing his cool palm against Teddy’s forehead, sweeping it through his hair as he removes it. “Are you feeling okay?”
Teddy only nods, blinking back the traitorous tears that have formed in the corners of his eyes. As if considering something, James takes a pause before turning to Mattie. “Well, I hate to kick you out but this man has some physical therapy to do.” he says and it makes Teddy want to cry all over again because it’s a lie – a lie for Teddy’s benefit. James does take his lunch breaks to walk Teddy around the long-term care ward, but there is no reason that Mattie has to leave for that.
“Yeah,” Teddy interjects, his own voice sounding strange to his ears. “Healer Monroe is insistent that I can’t be released until I can walk five laps unassisted. I swear I like that woman a little bit less every day.”
Mattie chuckles. “Don’t be too hard on her,” he says with a smile, bending down to give Teddy a hug. “She’s just trying to make sure you’re alright. You’ll let us know about dinner whenever you get the chance?”
Teddy offers a smile and a nod, watching as the door shuts behind Mattie’s retreat. He exhales hard, lying back and scrunching his eyes shut; and then James is there, placing two, cold fingers against his clammy wrist. Teddy allows it a moment before shifting his arm so that James’s whole hand rests against his skin.
“The touch helps?” he asks, squeezing Teddy’s wrist.
When Teddy nods, a second hand finds its way to his cheek, which he pushes against gratefully, as his breathing calms.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
After he feels as though the danger has passed, he flutters his eyes open and is rewarded with a comforting smile as James removes his hands. “Okay?” he asks.
“Yeah, I am now,” Teddy says, and he’s surprised to realize he actually means it, pulling himself into a sitting position. “I think that was just more than I was ready for.”
James nods before sitting next to him on the bed. “I know a couple of good mind healers who can give you more grounding techniques for when that happens.”
Teddy groans, dropping his head into his hands – this is the last thing he wants to deal with. “No. I don’t need a mind healer,” he spits. “I’ll get it under control.”
James narrows his eyes at him for long enough that Teddy squirms uncomfortably. “Well if you change your mind,” he says, standing, “Dad and Albus both really like their mind healers. Mine is great too but I’m not sure she’d be willing to take you on as a patient since we’d both be working through a shared trauma.”
Teddy looks up abruptly.
“Surprised?” James asks, with a smile. “Turns out when you suffer a violent attack at fourteen that leaves your best mate in a prolonged coma, you have some shit to work out. It doesn’t make me weak though – the same would go for you.”
“I wasn’t – “
James waves him off. “Just promise me you’ll think about it?”
“I will,” he says, honestly.
“Good!” James announces, the last of the seriousness leaking out of his tone. “Now let’s get your lazy arse walking some laps.”
“You know, I can do this without your arms floating around me,” Teddy claims, swatting playfully at the hands that hover around his waist as the two begin their second lap.
James grins at him but does nothing to change his position as they resume their agonizingly slow promenade around the ward. “As I recall, you used to be such a fan of the ‘I’m not touching you’ game,” he teases, bringing his finger within an inch of Teddy’s face before it is unceremoniously smacked away. “Anyway, I know it sucks but I’ll lose my job if you’re a stubborn git and refuse my help and then fall.”
Teddy makes a noise somewhere between annoyance and agreement as the two continue their shuffle.
“So, Mum tells me that Albus and Lily stopped by yesterday morning?”
“Yeah, it was awkward,” Teddy replies honestly. He’s feeling particularly surly today – maybe Albus is contagious.
James turns to look at him, presumably surprised by his candor. “Two rough visits in a row then? How was it awkward?”
Teddy shrugs. “To be fair, it’s awkward with most people, as you just saw in there. No one knows quite what to say. They either try to pretend that no time has passed – which is ridiculous – or treat me as if I have a terminal illness.”
“Why was it worse with Al and Lils then?” James probes.
Teddy thinks on it a moment, replaying the visit in his head, before speaking. “I guess since they were so young when it happened? It’s like they don’t fully remember me as a person. Just this heroic idea they have of me in their heads.”
“But Al is barely two years younger than me,” James counters.
“I know but it was always different with you, you know that. You were always my favourite.”
“Oooh – favourite Potter or favourite Weasley?” James asks excitedly, tugging Teddy’s arm to halt the other man. “The distinction matters.”
Teddy rolls his eyes. “Favourite person,” he says matter-of-factly as he continues to walk. It takes James a few seconds to catch up and when he does Teddy flashes him a smug smile – he took ten solo steps, after all.
“So,” Teddy says. “Now that we’re not surrounded by the elderly, tell me about your social life!”
“Ha,” James laughs. “I’m a first year Healer, Teds, I don’t have a social life.”
“No girlfriend?” Teddy asks but in a way that makes it clear he’s skeptical. With James’s charm and good looks, Teddy finds that hard to believe that he’s not at least casually seeing someone.
James appears cagey for a moment, averting his eyes . “No,” he mumbles, “I actually had a bad breakup right out of school”
Teddy scrunches up his nose in what he hopes resembles a sympathetic face, in truth he’s trying to imagine what type of person would be stupid enough to break it off with James Potter. “That’s rough,” he says, for lack of something better to say. “Who was it? Do I know her?”
“Ummm,” James hesitates for reasons lost on Teddy and what was just originally meant as a conversation starter to pass the time, now has him generally interested. “It was actually Max?”
“Oh,” Teddy says, his heart rate picking up as the full meaning behind James’s words sink in, “OH!”
“Yeah – “James replies, awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck.
Okay, James likes men then, no big deal. This is just something else they have in common, nothing that should cause his palms to sweat and his brain to short-circuit.
“Wait a second, you don’t mean Maximus Blight?!” Teddy shouts.
James lets out a bark of laughter nodding his confirmation.
“Ugh — he was such a little twat,” Teddy continues. “He even tried to knock you off of your broom during quidditch trials.”
James chuckles to himself, clearly lost in memory. “Yeah, well we ended up on the team together eventually. And he was less of a git then.”
Teddy pulls a face, trying to imagine James in a romantic situation with Maximus – at first, the image is off-putting because he keeps picturing a thirteen year old–the only version of Max that he has any memory of at this point. However, when his mind manages to supply him with an older version of the man, Teddy has to question whether Max would be quite that fit today. He shakes his head, hoping that the motion helps to clear his mind of the images. “That sounds like the start of a gay porn,” he admits.
James shrugs and smiles in that mischievous way that says Teddy’s comparison wasn’t that far off – he swallows hard, the thought of James having sex with a mate in the changing rooms doing funny things to his head. He suddenly wishes that there was a bit more distance between the two of them.
“It doesn’t bother you then?” James whispers, his cocky edge gone completely.
“Don’t be stupid,” Teddy starts without hesitation, reaching out to ruffle James’s hair, “I would never care about something like that. I’m not straight either, actually.”
Teddy is taken aback by the words slipping out of his mouth so easily, words that he’s never said aloud, not even to himself. After so many hours spent agonizing in a state of confusion and he just says it like it’s the easiest thing in the world. It’s comical really -- how nearly dying puts everything in perspective.
He looks at James who has stopped in the middle of the hallway, repeatedly opening and closing his mouth in an impressive impression of a fish. “Wait, are you bi?”
Is he bi? He supposes that would fit better than any other term so he lifts one shoulder in a lazy shrug. “I guess.”
“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me that?” James shouts, smacking his arm. Teddy stumbles back a step; his legs are starting to get tired.
“Well, I was dating a girl wasn’t I? It didn’t seem worth the trouble.”
James’s mouth twists unpleasantly at the mention of Victoire. Teddy eyes him for a moment before pressing. “You don’t see much of her then?”
“No,” James says with a laugh conveying that Teddy’s assumption is clearly an understatement, “we had it out pretty badly a few years ago. The family all concluded that I was “being unfair.” He finishes, throwing dramatic air quotes in for effect.
“Because of me?” Teddy asks.
James doesn’t answer at first, twisting his mouth to the side in a way that has him looking so vulnerable and young. Teddy can see a flash of the James he knew and it has him feeling entirely wrong-footed considering his earlier thoughts. “It just hurt when people gave up,” James answers quietly.
Swallowing hard, Teddy eyes James for a minute – it’s clear he never gave up on Teddy. Six years that were supposed to be filled with childish pranks were instead spent taking care of Gran and fighting on his behalf. James Potter, his great protector. Without a thought, Teddy reaches out and pulls James into a tight hug, burying his face in the younger man’s curls as James returns the embrace just as fiercely.
Too soon, James pulls away. “Hugs or not,” he says, “I’m still pissed you didn’t tell me you were bi.”
Teddy laughs easily. “Jamie, you were a literal child the last time we had a heart to heart!”
“Yeah, but –“ James starts as Teddy moves to take a step, letting out an undignified squeal as his legs give out underneath him. Before he hits the ground, James is there with speed that would rival a top seeker. One hand underneath his arm, the other wrapped tightly around Teddy’s waist, he catches him with ease, hoisting him up against his side.
“Fuck,” Teddy sighs defeatedly, “I’m never leaving, am I?”
James laughs. “Oh the drama!” he exclaims. “Your legs didn’t bear weight for six years, Teds. Give yourself some credit.”
He loops Teddy’s arm around his shoulders, half-dragging, half-carrying him back to his room. Teddy’s sure that keeping him standing is just to preserve what is left of his dignity. It would be a better weight distribution on James’s back if he lifted him like a blushing bride on her wedding day. Teddy has no doubt that he could do it with ease too because, Godric , the man is strong.
By the time they re-enter his room, Teddy knows he’s dead weight and is grateful that James still manages to set him down gingerly despite this fact. He stoops and lifts Teddy’s legs onto the bed, pivoting him in the process and then reaches down to start working on his laces.
“I can do that,” Teddy starts as he makes a feeble attempt to reach for his shoes.
James levels him with an unimpressed look and Teddy wilts back into the pillows. “You should have told me when you started to get tired, you know? There’s a fine line between pushing yourself and hurting yourself and you need to be more mindful. If you injure yourself you’re just going to be here longer. Got it?”
Teddy lets out a defeated sigh. “Got it.”
James just smiles at him for a moment – a fond smile that Teddy struggles to look away from — before reaching out and scooting Teddy’s body over in the bed.
“What are you doing?” Teddy asks.
“Trying to get you to budge over,” James laughs. “I don’t have to be back for another half an hour.”
Teddy pathetically attempts to assist in the budging but luckily James quickly makes enough room for himself, climbing into Teddy’s bed and removing his own shoes. When he is settled comfortably into his spot, he takes his wand and sets an alarm, Teddy eyeing him all the while.
“You’re really good at this, you know?”
“Hmm?”
“Being a healer,” Teddy clarifies.
“You know I don’t snuggle in all my patients’ beds?” James deadpans.
Teddy lets out a laugh, even as his face heats at the thought of snuggling with James. “Don’t be an arse! And don’t deny that you wouldn’t curl up in that old woman’s bed, if she asked. You know the one, your second favourite patient?”
“Adelia?” James laughs, “You clearly don’t know her! She has most certainly asked me to do more than snuggle in her bed. Don’t change the subject though. We were discussing how I’m the best healer you’ve ever met.”
Teddy rolls his eyes. “You’re so modest,” he says, sarcastically. “Anyway, I just wouldn’t have guessed you’d be a healer – and yes, you prat, especially such a good one. I thought you’d be a quidditch player or something equally as obnoxious.”
James makes his best attempt to look Teddy squarely in the face – a challenge since they’re side by side. “Obnoxious?” he asks, irritably.
“Umm, yes,” Teddy says. “You were a skinny, obnoxious prat – not the wise, overachiever I have before me today.”
James, clearly satisfied with the turn in conversation, returns to lying with his eyes closed. “I wouldn’t say overachiever.”
“Ha!” Teddy barks, “I was almost exactly your age when I – “ he stops, at a loss for how to describe his coma without killing the playful mood.
“Slipped into a princess-like eternal slumber?” James offers.
“Yes,” Teddy laughs. “That. And I was nowhere near as established as you are.”
“Okay, says Mr. Head Boy,” James counters.
“Oh? You weren’t head boy then I take it?”
“No… I was.” James concedes.
“See?” Teddy announces victoriously, “I rest my case.”
They’re quiet for a moment, Teddy’s mind starting to exist in that space between sleep and awake when James whispers from his side. “You know, I was quidditch captain too?”
As the words settle over Teddy, he makes a retching sound in the back of his throat. “Ugh! Gross! You put Hermione to shame!” he shouts, smacking James with a pillow as they both dissolve into giggles.
When Albus owled a few days ago with the promise to compile a list of every good film that has come out over the last six years, Teddy realized that he may have been judging him a bit too harshly. In fact, once he is able to get him talking, it becomes apparent that the kid has grown up to be quite awesome. Although Teddy was sad to hear he had suffered, his own ordeal regarding the death of a classmate in his fourth year makes him quite sensitive to Teddy’s current struggles. He still has a tendency to be a bit aloof, but overall, Teddy is thankful for his introverted nature.
Today he is wrapped in a forest green hoodie, sitting in an uncomfortable chair, sub-categorizing his film list while James tortures Teddy through forced stretching, on the floor. Despite his insistence that his body could never stretch in these ways, Healer Monroe has made it clear that his release is on the condition that he’ll continue in home sessions. At least that means he'll be seeing a lot of James, anyway.
“Oh! This is a good one,” Albus announces as James bends Teddy’s leg back in an uncomfortable position. “Do you like horror?”
Teddy hisses with pain and James apologizes quietly. “I watch it from time to time,” he replies through gritted teeth.
“Well, you have to watch Get Out first,” he says, excitedly. “It’s one of my favourites of all time. You’ll love it!”
James drops Teddy’s leg and turns to look at his brother. “That snooze fest?” he asks.
“You don’t get to have an opinion on it,” Albus asserts. “ You fell asleep!”
“Which should tell you everything you need to know about the film,” James insists, looking to Teddy for validation.
The only response Albus offers is a dramatic eye roll before returning to his work. With a fond shake of his head, James does the same, cupping Teddy’s knee and pushing it back against his chest, his curls cascading against his forehead when he leans forward.
Teddy bites the inside of his cheek to halt the grin that threatens to break across his face. Watching James work has become so familiar, so comforting to him, not just the fall of his fringe, but the cluster of freckles that sit on his collar bone and bob in and out of view beneath his shirt; the stretch of the muscles in his neck while he strains; the three freckles that are swallowed whole by his left dimple when he smiles.
It is only when he meets James's very confused look that Teddy realizes he has failed and a soppy smile is now plastered across his face. “What’s up?” James asks with a laugh.
“Oh,” Teddy replies stupidly, his face heating. “I’m just really glad you two ended up being close.”
The brothers exchange identical skeptical looks, before Albus barks out a sarcastic, “Thanks, mum," and the two laugh at Teddy's expense.
When they have their fill of the mockery, James pats Teddy's legs. “You excited to go home?” he asks quietly.
Teddy does his best to shrug in the position that he’s in. “I’m excited to not be here anymore." And that's the truth — St. Mungo's is unreasonably depressing — but that doesn't mean he's excited to start the next chapter of his life. He clears his throat and puts a voice to his concerns. "My flat is gone, so... it’ll definitely be a transition.”
James opens his mouth to respond when Gran barges into the room. “Oh look at you!” she says happily, placing a bag on the bed before dropping kisses to the three men’s heads in turn.
“I’m getting him in tip top shape, Grandy,” James says, as he hoists Teddy to his feet in another impressive display of athleticism.
“Torturing me, more like,” Teddy jokes, steadying himself on wobbling legs before making his way to the bed.
“Lies," James laughs. "Don’t believe him!”
Gran chuckles, patting James's cheek. “I would never, love. This reminds me, though, I brought something for when we’re back home,” she reaches into her bag rifling for a moment before making a celebratory sound and wrestling a long object free.
When Teddy sees what she holds, he opens his mouth to respond and then closes it again - disbelief and embarrassment battling in his mind. Silence stretches through the room for long enough that it’s uncomfortable. “A cane?” he finally asks, accepting the offending object from her hands.
“He’s walking quite well, you know?" James assures her. "Worked his arse off and exceeded all of our expectations."
At James’s praise, Teddy's chest swells with pride and his eyes find his feet, as he bites back a smile in spite of his shock. When he looks up, Albus is eyeing him curiously, which embarrasses Teddy even more.
“I know that! And I’m not implying he isn’t doing great," Gran says in a tone patronizing enough to pull his attention. "This would just be the safest way for him to get around when he’s home alone.”
No one says anything.
“Anyway, I saw Healer Monroe out there, I’m going to pester her with a few questions," she says, scurrying from the room.
Teddy sighs, tossing the cane onto the bed. He doesn't want to be ungrateful, he loves his Gran more than anything, but he's twenty-one -- no, twenty-six -- years old this whole thing is quite humiliating.
"Okay?" James asks quietly, coming to stand in front of him.
"Mmhmm," Teddy replies. "Twenty six years old, living with my Gran, no job, no girlfriend, and now...a cane. Life is good.”
“Still could be worse.” Albus says.
“Yeah,” James agrees. “You could be Uncle Percy.”
They all have a good chuckle before falling silent again. As if a trained majorette, James picks up the cane and spins it with a flourish. He really is disgustingly talented in all things.
“Why don’t you come live with me?” he asks suddenly.
“James – “ Albus starts in a warning tone that Teddy doesn't quite understand. Sure his Gran might be put off at first if he didn't come home with her, but he's sure she'd come around eventually. And if he can live with anyone successfully, he knows that person is James. He allows himself a brief moment to imagine it — comfortable evenings filled with laughter, quiet mornings with shared breakfasts. As perfect as it sounds, he knows it's asking entirely too much of him.
“I couldn’t do that,” he finally counters.
“Why not?” James asks. “I have an extra bedroom. And you know I'm here most of the time anyway.”
The way he says it — like it's the simplest solution in the world — makes him believe that maybe he should go for it despite his reservations.
“You’re serious?” he asks.
James nods, his facing breaking into a huge smile. “Well, on one condition.”
“What’s that?”
“You hold this cane,” he says, handing him the cane which has been transfigured into an impressive replica of a penis.
The hysterical laugh bubbles out of his chest without his permission, an ugly thing that should have him feeling embarrassed, but by the way James is wiping his eyes, red faced and chortling, he knows he's not alone. Even Albus has joined in, whatever was concerning him apparently forgotten.
When he regains his composure, he stands bracing himself on James's forearm because he's sure as hell not going to use the cane. “I’d love that, Jamie," he says, sincerely. "Thank you.”
James smiles back at him -- not the overly charming smile that he gives his patients or the mischievous one that he gives everyone else. For some reason Teddy knows this one is just for him -- like they share a beautiful secret. It makes Teddy's heart skip a beat.
“Okay, that’s all straightened out now," Gran announces, breaking the spell, before she stops dead in the doorway. "Edward Remus Lupin – " she bellows. "What in the seven hells have you done to that cane?”