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Im James Ryan Haywood, the man who lost everything. I was once in love with the most perfect men in the world. Their 'flaws' were what made them perfectly human. I loved them. They have always and will always be perfect in my eyes. Geoff was an intoxicating love, i got drunk from his kisses of affection. Jack was always sweet, he was the shoulder to cry on always. Michael my little hothead, he was a beautiful fire of rage when anger consumed him, nothing could turn me on more. Gavin was frustrating at times but could always make me smile. And Ray he was so beautiful. My boys are all gone now though. They were fucking murdered when i was gone one night. I came home to see them bleeding to death on the floor of our once pristine home. I called the police and ran to them. Gavin was crying quietly as his blood left him in a fading heap. Michael holding his hand was battered and bruised beyond belief as his pale face look at me terrified. Geoff was already gone and Jack was holding him as his own life slipped into oblivion. And Ray....GOD my Rose was almost dead he looked at me and reached up as he wiped away my tears he horsely whispered "We all love you Ry--" he died in my arms. I held Michael and Gavin's hands as they both went limp, Michael saying "I fuckin tried--" tears overwhelmed him as he went limp then Gavin smiled at me as he died he said "Love you---" then he followed Michael away into nothingness. I heard sirens in the distance as i cried over all their bodies. The loves of my lives all dead. They are gone and i never got to say a proper goodbye. Im going to be with them. I need them i cant stand another day without them all with me. They will give me shit for killing myself in heaven i know it. Goodbye everybody, just know i can finally be happy once again. -Ryan Haywood.