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it was weird to think that he never got tired of holding hinata’s hand. they’d just be walking; walking home, walking to the gym, walking back to class, and sometimes, hinata would bump his hand as if to say, don’t forget that i still like you back! and kageyama would bump his hand against his, too, as if to reply, i know that, you idiot, when in reality he was actually thinking, i can’t believe it. and then, hinata would lace their fingers, so gradually and casually, and it made kageyama blush just thinking about it, because it was a sign that hinata actually liked him back. it was a sign that, if he wanted to, kageyama might be allowed to hug him, or pick him up, or even kiss him again.
since that night just over a week ago, they still hadn’t kissed again. it had seemed so right and perfect at that moment, but hell, they hadn’t even talked about exactly what they were to each other yet. it wasn’t that kageyama didn’t want to. he wanted to do all of those things and more, even though they scared him. he definitely wanted to. but the thought that hinata probably didn’t feel the same as he did worried him, and he didn’t want to rush hinata into doing something he didn’t want to. he didn’t want to do something that made hinata not like him anymore.
that’s why he had to wait until hinata said he was ready. he was so not about to ruin whatever it was that they had now by being impatient and greedy. and probably... he probably had to earn the right to be with hinata.
so yeah. they were in a good place right now, he thought. it was just nice. really nice to know that in some way, hinata did reciprocate his feelings. it made kageyama feel sort of giddy, and he would hit his tosses extra hard, but he knew hinata didn’t mind, because he hated when kageyama went easy on him. (although hinata technically wasn’t the only one he tossed to, but kageyama felt like anything other than volleyball and hinata was just...unimportant to him, much as he tried not to.)
“hey, kageyama!!” the sound of hinata’s energetic voice made him want to smile.
“what’re you thinking so hard about, huh? our break is almost over!” he said, laughing a little at the thought of kageyama zoning out. but kageyama really didn’t care about that, because hinata was smiling, for him.
“uh, nothing much.” kageyama flushed. “sorry, here,” he pressed the wet towel he’d gotten from shimizu to hinata’s forehead.
“huh? thanks! hehe!”
why did hinata always look so happy to see him? it’s a gift and a curse, kageyama thought to himself, trying to slow his pounding heart.
“but you still didn’t answer my question...” hinata scowled in mock-insult, “i hardly ever see you looking like that,”
kageyama sighed. this boy was the death of him. but then, he didn’t really mind the thought of that as much as he should. in fact, if it was hinata, he’d welcome death with open arms.
“fine. i was thinking about you.” and how much i like you.
“huh? really?” hinata looked even happier, if that was possible.
behind him, tsukishima stared at them, stone faced. “pshh. what a simp.”
sugawara stared at him momentarily. “d-daichi, are you hearing this,” he said, voice quivering.
“yeah, yeah, the usual,” their caption exhaled, knowing from experience that he couldn’t stop this.
kageyama felt his cheeks glow. “shut up, idiot tsukishima.”
“and he doesn’t deny it!” sugawara sang, extracting howls of laughter from tanaka and nishinoya.
kageyama suddenly wished he were anywhere but here. he tried to ignore his teammates, shoving a water bottle into hinata’s mouth.
“you hardly drank anything today, how are you still alive,” he scolded, but hinata only huffed a little and smiled again, letting kageyama force more water down his throat with an expression that said, oh well, i’m used to his antics. kageyama knew the feeling all too well.
“pfft, simp!” tanaka started laughing again, and kageyama internally cursed tsukishima. why did that idiot have to go and give their senpai ideas? the worst part was, no one from their club knew anything had changed between them. they were all yet to find out that hinata liked him back, and that he, kageyama tobio, had kissed hinata. and hinata had let him do it. no, hinata kissed him back.
the thought made kageyama’s insides squirm, and if he was just a little off for the next half of their practice session, nobody mentioned it.
well, until hinata decided to, anyway. they were all walking back from school, intending on stopping for meat buns on the way. kageyama clenched his jaw and wished hinata would drop it; he didn’t need to embarrass himself in front of everyone again. (more like, he didn’t need tsukishima’s damn comments to ruin everything again.)
“hey, kageyama-kun, you were slow during practice,” hinata teased, and sugawara eyed him as if knowingly. damn it, why did his senpai have to know everything?! couldn’t he have a moment’s peace just walking beside hinata?
“was not,” kageyama looked away, knowing hinata knew that he knew it was a lie.
“were too,” hinata insisted, though he was grinning amicably.
“shut up,” kageyama said. he couldn’t even find it in himself to sound properly irritated. was he loosing his touch?
“but why? are you okay? you seemed distracted earlier, too...” hinata suddenly looked distressed.
ah, shit.
“well, i—like i said, i was just thinking about you, that’s all,” kageyama murmured, trying not to let the others listen in. but he couldn’t have hinata upset, after all.
“really...” hinata was looking away, turned so much to the side that kageyama couldn’t even see his face at all. well, that wouldn’t do at all.
“would you look at me, stupid?” kageyama grabbed his shoulders and forced him to turn around.
but hinata’s face was all red. he was actually blushing, just like that night last week, and he looked so uncertain with himself, but when his eyes met kageyama’s, his stomach did a little flip. he instantly decided he loved it. he freaking loved putting that expression on hinata’s face, especially with the way hinata’s brown eyes seemed to melt like pools of chocolate, as if he was experiencing the same feelings kageyama was. and kageyama loved that feeling, too. he wanted to tell all of this to him.
“h-hinata?” he stammered instead. the words wouldn’t come. he didn’t even want the words to come; not now, in front of everyone.
“yeah...” hinata was still looking at him, with a dazed sort of look in his eyes.
kageyama didn’t think he could help himself this time. just once more was okay, right? one kiss would be fine right? who did hinata think he was, to make that face and expect kageyama to just go on with life as if everything was fine? kageyama leaned downward to close the gap between them. it was so cute, how hinata was still short enough for him to have to do that. and hinata was so cute, so handsome, still staring up into his eyes like kageyama was precious to him. but—
“hey, what are you guys doing?” tanaka said, having had to have stopped walking because they were in front of him, blocking the path.
“oh,” hinata looked at him expressionlessly, still looking flustered.
“there,” kageyama flushed, “there’s dirt on your face, dummy.” he aggressively swiped his thumb over hinata’s spotless cheek, flicking his forehead for good measure.
“right...sorry,” hinata said, and continued walking.
(“but his face looked clean to me, though,” yamaguchi whispered, and kageyama looked around to glare at him so fast that he almost got whiplash.)
for a moment, watching hinata walking with a blank face and doing nothing, kageyama worried that maybe he’d broken him. but then, hinata slowly extended his fingers from where they hung tucked away in the long sleeves that belonged to the jacket kageyama had leant him earlier (“it’s too cold, dumbass.” “but what about you?” “tch. i’ll be fine. i have extra layers and you don’t.”) until he was touching kageyama’s hand with his own.
hinata turned sideways to glare up at him, wiggling his fingers. “kageyama.”
“what is it?” he replied instinctively.
“hand!” hinata stuck his tongue out at him. “stupid, give me your hand!”
and the last bit may have been said a little too loud for kageyama’s liking, but he quickly complied, confirming the fact that holding hinata’s hand was just really nice. it was comforting. for such a compact person, hinata didn’t really have small hands. they were smaller than kageyama’s; sure (and they fit in his so well), but they weren’t tiny either, like one might think. kageyama thoughtfully traced hinata’s knuckles, and the veins on his left hand. eventually, their fingers weren’t laced anymore, and kageyama had taken his hand into both of his, still absently tracing it as they walked, side by side.
“wh-what are you doing?” hinata stuttered after a while. he seemed like he’d had this question on his mind for a while. with a glance over his shoulder, it seemed like he wasn’t the only one. kageyama immediately looked away when he made eye contact with tsukishima. at least he hadn’t said anything. yet.
kageyama turned his focus on hinata again. that was better. “sorry,” he shrugged, letting go of hinata’s palm. maybe not better. kageyama didn’t want to let go, but he didn’t know what else to do, either.
“it’s fine,” hinata said, and he was wearing that same, blushy look.
“oh,” kageyama breathed, “okay. cool.”
cool? kageyama internally berated himself.
“they’re not really doing anything, but why do i still feel like i should tell them to get a room?” tsukishima said rather loudly to yamaguchi.
...and there it was. kageyama knew he wouldn’t get out of his unscathed.
“you really don’t have to do that,” he gritted his teeth, knowing the damage was already done. the whole club was focusing on them, once more, with tanaka and nishinoya squealing eeehh? how lewd of you, tsukishima-kun, like a pair of scandalised schoolgirls, with only asahi trembling and telling them to stop it, daichi having long since given up. and then kageyama heard the telltale click of a camera shutter, and sugawara-senpai had really gone and taken a picture, hadn’t he.
kageyama’s ears burned with embarrassment, but he didn’t want to let go of hinata’s hand, so he shoved both their hands into the pocket of his sweatshirt so the rest couldn’t stare at their point of contact anymore. seeing the look of slight surprise on hinata’s face, he only mumbled a flustered “shut up.” in his general direction.
“ah, could it be that those two are dating?” nishinoya asked after a while, only to be met with silence.
“you mean you didn’t notice?!” asahi asked, blushing, “they’re always doing lovey dovey stuff!”
“are you presuming things, asahi-san?” nishinoya goaded, just for the sake of teasing him.
“but they’ve been dating for months now, right?” sugawara said innocently.
kageyama’s face felt like it was on fire. months?!
“what?!” he asked. “th-that’s not true!!”
“it isn’t?” sugawara cocked his head, looking genuinely confused, asahi nodding beside him.
“no!! not at all!” kageyama hurried to deflect further accusations, but then glanced down at hinata, who seemed oddly...put out, for lack of better words.
“but then, what’s actually with you guys? you’re dating now, right?” tanaka asked.
kageyama honestly didn’t know how to answer that question. they hadn’t talked about it yet. hinata hadn’t.
“we...” to his surprise, hinata was speaking up, “we are, right?”
kageyama stared at him, heart rate skyrocketing. did hinata want that? did hinata want them to be dating?
“uh, well, if that’s what you wanted,” kageyama really didn’t know what to say. he wished they were alone right now. but then, he always wished they were alone, just the two of them.
“what part of any of this told you that i didn’t want that?!” hinata exclaimed suddenly, rolling his eyes. but his cheeks were still pink, and he squeezed kageyama’s hand from inside his pocket.
“sorry,” kageyama said, because he truly was. almost a full week he’d missed out on of waking up to know that he was hinata’s boyfriend. his...lover. kageyama blushed. his significant other. his partner in more ways than just on the court.
“it’s okay,” hinata said, suddenly coming close and tugging his hand out of kageyama’s pocket to wrap around kageyama’s arm. “i’m still happy,” and he smiled as he said it, so kageyama could see that he meant it.
“...me too.” kageyama admitted, though hinata had to already have known this. even kageyama knew that he wasn’t exactly being subtle with his feelings lately. probably.
“aww, how sweet,” jeered tsukishima.
“i wish we alone, though,” kageyama said loudly, very much intending for a certain dumbass to overhear because he was an asshole that stuck his nose into other people’s business.
“how romantic,” tsukishima cooed again, unfazed.
daichi reluctantly held up a blushing asahi, muttering about grown men and cowards.
hinata, however, seemed to take no notice of his teammates around him. he was grinning up at the sky, and kageyama realised that tonight was very similar to the night he’d confessed. the moon was shining high and proud in the sky, and the smattering of stars was still etched across that inky black endlessness. kageyama stared at the sky too as they walked, nearing coach ukai’s shop with each step, with the chatter of his club mates discussing their love life a white noise that he was too happy to get worked up about any further. but as they continued slowly walking down the hill in silence, kageyama found that he’d rather stare at hinata instead. the scenery was nice, sure. the view was beautiful. but to kageyama, cheesy as it was, hinata was the whole view, and there was nothing he’d rather look at. a minute later, hinata seemed to have finally noticed his quiet gaze.
“what’re you doing?” he asked again.
“just looking...” kageyama said sheepishly. he wondered if hinata was okay with it.
“looking, huh?” hinata scratched his cheek with his free hand; his other hand clutching kageyama’s arm. it was comfortable. the weight of hinata leaning into him was intimate and warm.
“you’re always saying stuff like that, kageyama...isn’t it embarrassing?” hinata went on.
kageyama flushed. he hadn’t thought it was that embarrassing. well, it was, but it was somehow worth it. ever since he confessed, every reaction he got out of hinata was so entirely worth it. after a while, he hadn’t thought it was that embarrassing to tell hinata his feelings.
“well, it is a bit,” kageyama admitted aloud for hinata to hear. the other boy still looked confused.
“but...are you really thinking about me that much? am i that memorable, or something?” hinata looked awkward as he asked this. but kageyama was happy to ease his worries, or whatever this was.
“well, i like you, stupid.” hinata was right. this was embarrassing. but kageyama was right too, because he didn’t really care about that anymore. “i’m always looking at you, or thinking about you, and you’re really memorable to me, because i like you a lot...!”
there it was; hinata’s blush was back. kageyama felt a sharp pang in his chest. it was a nice pang, though, it felt like a reminder of how much he cared about hinata.
“it’s kinda weird how you say these things so freely,” hinata said, sounding a bit out of breath. kageyama bit his lip.
“i really like you too, by the way.” hinata whispered.
kageyama was so overwhelmed by the urge to grab him and squeeze him and never let go, but he didn’t. not right now, right? he told himself not right now, because if he let himself think otherwise, he was sure he’d lose all semblance of self control. hinata came to a sudden stop, and kageyama registered in the back of his mind that they had reached the shop. hinata’s face even looked pretty illuminated by the sharp bright light coming from inside, but that quickly stopped being kageyama’s main focus when hinata stood high on his tiptoes, leaning up and pressing a quick kiss to kageyama’s cheek before their senpai, tsukishima and yamaguchi caught up to them. the top of hinata’s orange hair tickled his nose as he came back down to his regular height, and kageyama touched the spot on his cheek that hinata had kissed, feeling ridiculously warm, like he was about to melt into a puddle of hinata-loving gloop. he really was pathetic at this point, wasn’t he.
“sorry,” hinata murmured, cheeks tinged pink, and just as kageyama was about to say that he had nothing to be sorry for and should, in fact, do it again as many times as he wanted to, hinata continued, “i-it’s just that—“ he broke off, seeming to catch himself.
kageyama frowned in displeasure. “what’s wrong, hinata? tell me.”
“well, you,” hinata scratched his head nervously, “you never touch me, ever since...that time.” he was referring to their first kiss, kageyama knew instantly, because he’d replayed the scene in his head a thousand times. “so i thought maybe i should do something, but then i thought maybe you didn’t want me to. guess i did it anyway though,” hinata gave a halfhearted little chuckle.
kageyama was aghast at the thought that hinata thought he didn’t want to touch him. how ridiculous.
“hinata...that’s not it. you’ve got it all wrong. i definitely want you to.”
they both blushed.
kageyama grabbed him by the shoulders. “i really definitely want you to, as many times as possible. i...didn’t want to do something you didn’t want.” he said a bit shyly.
“oh,” hinata said breathlessly, “okay, i’ll keep that in mind then,”
kageyama nodded eagerly. just the thought that hinata might do something in the future was literally nerve wracking, but in the best possible way.
“oooh, we’re here, daichi-senpai, treat us!” nishinoya cried, getting whacked on the head by asahi.
great. they were always getting interrupted, weren’t they.
but hinata smiled at him, taking his hand once again as they waited for the whole group to catch up. kageyama loved it. every time they so much as touched, kageyama loved it. he squeezed hinata’s hand, and hinata sidled up closer to him, leaning into kageyama’s body. kageyama felt weird, doing this while everyone was free to watch (especially tsukishima) but the opportunity was way too good to pass up, and he retracted his hand from hinata’s hold and wrapped that arm around his shoulders, pulling hinata closer into himself. (while glaring a hole into tsukishima’s skull, of course.)
“ah, you two are so cute that i might have to treat my sweet kouhai after all,” daichi sighed, and hinata grinned widely, rubbing his face into kageyama’s shoulder for extra cuteness points while sugawara snapped more pictures. he didn’t need those cuteness points though, thought kageyama, worrying that at this rate his face would be perpetually warm and red. but then, he really didn’t mind if it was for reasons like this.
“what about me, though, daichi,” asahi cried, having regained his composure only to lose it all over again.
suffice to say that daichi ignored him. asahi only got a pat on the arm from noya for his troubles.
two minutes later, a hoard of starving high schoolers stampeded into their coach’s shop, demanding meat buns. coach ukai only sighed, thrusting a large brown bag their way.
“here, these are all that’s left,” he sighed, having anticipated the volleyball club’s arrival.
“alright!” tanaka exclaimed, shoving his hand in and pulling out a steaming bun. “coach warmed them up for us!!” he seemed to cry actual tears of joy. kageyama rolled his eyes, pulling one out before the bag quickly travelled to the other end of the room.
“ouch.” he mumbled. the bun really was hot.
“eh?” asahi was looking tearfully into the bag. “there’s none left...”
“alright, alright, you can have some of mine,” noya said, “just quit whining, asahi-san...”
kageyama almost smiled. his senpai was their ace, but he really could be ridiculous sometimes.
“sorry, guys, but that’s all there was,” coach ukai said, “maybe this will motivate you to eat a proper meal!”
kageyama privately snickered, because if anyone needed motivation to eat a proper meal, it was not this volleyball club.
“huh? none left?” hinata pouted, and as if on cue, his stomach rumbled. kageyama felt a twinge of guilt, knowing hinata still had a while before he’d get home.
“here. have mine.” kageyama shoved the meat bun in hinata’s direction. hinata stared at it unsurely. he felt a twinge of irritation. how was today the one day hinata chose to be above stealing his food?
“fine, we can share it,” kageyama said, taking a huge bite and swallowing almost half of the steaming hotness that was the meat bun.
“okay...thanks,” hinata said, taking a bite right out of kageyama’s hand. “ah—‘ish ‘ish really hot!” he yelped, mouth full. hinata quickly swallowed.
“stupid,” kageyama scolded, but he wiped the corner of hinata’s mouth that had a crumb stuck to it. “have some water.”
“thanks, kageyama,” hinata beamed, looking so happy at such a small gesture when kageyama fished his bottle out of his bag.
again, kageyama felt an overwhelming need to just grab hinata and never let go. he wanted to go home, and take hinata with him, so they could be alone. he wanted his face in hinata’s neck, his arms around hinata’s body. but this wasn’t the time for that, so. he settled for snatching up hinata’s free hand instead.
once they finally—reluctantly on kageyama’s end—had to part ways, a while after the rest of their club members had gone their separate ways after saying their goodbyes, good nights, and see you at practices, neither of them could think of anything to say. it was so goddamn typical, kageyama fumed internally, that they had to say all that cheesy romantic shit when people were around, but now they were left facing each other, a little tense. he didn’t like that. he didn’t like hinata being tense around him.
“so...” hinata started after a good minute. “um, i’m that way, but you already know that...” he clutched the handled of his bike. (sometimes, hinata would leave his bike at the shop and walk the rest of the way to school, because it wasn’t that far.)
“yeah,” kageyama felt like their moment, or whatever they’d had going on this evening, was getting ruined. no, not really ruined, but cut short. he wished he and hinata could go home and just be together. he wished they didn’t live apart. it was probably stupid and clingy, but he still wished.
“good night, kageyama,” hinata said, though he wasn’t really moving yet. he was just sort of standing there.
“ugh,” kageyama huffed, and then stepped out to finally snatch hinata up, all to himself, pressing him against his chest. he could feel hinata’s smile.
“do you want your jacket back?”
“you should keep it,” kageyama said without thinking. hinata was looking up at him, cheeks twinging red. “uh, for now, i mean...”
“okay,” hinata said, and his voice was soft like a sigh, “thank you.” he pressed his cheek into kageyama’s neck, standing on his tiptoes. kageyama just didn’t know what to say. he was speechless. there had to be something to do to convey just how...how soft and mushy hinata made him feel, but there wasn’t. he couldn’t come up with anything, so he just hugged him harder.
“i don’t really want you to let go,” hinata admitted against his clavicle, breath hot against kageyama’s skin.
“i wasn’t going to, dumbass hinata,” kageyama insisted, resting his chin on top of hinata’s head. oh hinata...he liked hinata so much. they stayed like that for maybe five minutes, just rocking back and forth, and kageyama wondered if this counted as romance. after all, he’d heard hinata talking about getting confessed to, and valentine’s day and stuff before. he could only assume that hinata wanted a relationship that had a bit of romance in it, a bit of the sweet stuff; the kinds of things his mother watched on tv sometimes. he was pretty sure he was quite terrible at that, though. he wasn’t good at judging and assessing the situation; hinata was way better at that. but still, he hoped that if he got to be the one hinata was dating, he could make him as happy to be with kageyama as kageyama was happy to be with him. he didn’t mind taking things slow, after all; not when it was hinata. because hinata was special, wasn’t he?
“hey,” hinata said after a while. it was getting later and later with each passing moment. his stomach growled, but hinata only flustered a little at that, waving the sound away.
“you should go home. eat.” kageyama said anyway. it had been a long day of training. hinata ignored him.
“yeah...you know, i’m glad you kissed me. before. last time.”
it seemed like something was on his mind.
kageyama’s face flushed involuntarily—and whose wouldn’t, after replaying that scene in their head a thousand times? not as material to get off, just...thinking about the feel of hinata, hot against his own body.
“m-me too.”
hinata smiled. “you know, you’re surprisingly cute, kageyama.” he leaned up one last time and gave kageyama a firm kiss on the lips before hopping onto his bicycle, disappearing down the hill, and before kageyama could really process what had just happened, hinata wasn’t there anymore.
kageyama brushed his fingers against his lips silently. huh.