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"This has to be some kind of cosmic joke," Rin mutters, eyeing the scoreboard. Their fourth competition at this level -- Rin swimming for Australia, Haru for Japan -- and their scores are once again identical. Tied for fourth place this time.
"Maybe we should try teaming up for synchronised swimming," Haru suggests.
Rin rolls his eyes. "Har har har."
Haru notices his coach waving him over. "Anyway, I have to go. Come have dinner with us later?"
"Us?"
"Makoto's here too."
"So he finally asked you out, huh? About time."
Haru blinks. "What are you talking about? Makoto's the apprentice coach for the juniors."
Rin turns bright red. "Huh? What? Makoto? Oh, sorry; I was just, er, talking to myself about, um, n-not Makoto. Well, have fun! Gotta go!"
Haru never thought Rin was the sort to get so involved in his own thoughts that he loses track of a conversation and starts talking to himself. Then again, back in high school he never thought he'd choose competitive swimming for a career, yet here he stands. Sometimes it's better to float along with the world than try to swim in it.
-
He's almost through the hotel room door when he realises Rin never said if he'd join them for dinner or not. Makoto's sitting crosslegged on his bed, his eyebrows knitted as he types something on his smartphone using his index finger.
"Hey," Haru says.
Makoto's head snaps up, his eyes wide and panicky. His phone falls out of his hands, and he spends about twenty seconds trying to catch it. Which is weird, because Makoto's hands are so huge, you'd think he could catch a measly little phone without even trying. Finally, Makoto manages to grab the phone and promptly hides it behind his back.
"What are you doing?" Haru asks as he walks over to the wardrobe.
"N-nothing," Makoto says, sheepishly setting the phone down beside him. "Just texting with Rin."
"I was talking to him earlier," Haru says, opening the wardrobe to hang his team jacket. "He said the weirdest thing." He closes the wardrobe door and turns to Makoto. "Can you imagine--?"
Makoto's bed is empty.
"...Makoto?"
"Bathroom!" yells Makoto from behind the bathroom door. A few minutes later, the toilet flushes, and then Makoto spends a really long time washing his hands. Haru becomes distracted by the dazzling neon signs outside their hotel window and forgets his earlier train of thought.
"Have you decided where you want to eat?" Makoto asks, coming out of the bathroom with a huge smile on his face. "I'm starving."
-
They settle on a place that boasts a hundred different varieties of seasoned chicken wings. It's close to the hotel, and chicken sounds safe enough for Haru, who's never developed a taste for foreign food.
"Oh yeah," Haru says as their waiter sets down their orders -- pretty woven baskets lined with wax paper and filled with deep-fried everything: wings, potatoes, onion rings. "I was telling you earlier and then I forgot; Rin said the weirdest thing, something about you asking me out?"
"Ahahaha," Makoto says. It's obviously not laughter, but it seems like Makoto means for it to be, so Haru decides not to say anything. Everyone has an off day every once in a while.
"I mean, if you felt that way, you would have told me already," Haru says. "Rin should know that."
"Ehehehe," Makoto says. He stuffs an entire chicken wing into his mouth, bones and all.
He wasn't lying about starving, Haru thinks.
-
"...finally asked you out...? About time."
Haru sits up in bed, looking around wildly. "Rin--?"
The room is dark: the drapes are thick enough to blot out the outside neon glow. Haru glances at the bright red display of the digital bedside clock. It's two in the morning. He yawns. At least he's got no events tomorrow, so having his sleep interrupted won't throw him off the way it usually does.
He's about to scold Rin for waking him up when he remembers there's no way Rin could be here. That's Makoto on the other bed, snoring inoffensively. Rin is in a different hotel a few bus stops away from here. So unless Rin has learned to throw his voice across unimaginably vast distances...
No. If this woke him up, it must be important. Haru forces his mind away from Rin's potential ventriloquism career and recalls the words once again.
So he finally asked you out, huh? About time.
The word finally in particular bothers him, but even more troublesome is Rin's tone: he spoke as though describing something both self-evident and inevitable. As though it were completely natural to expect Makoto to ask Haru out. The casualness of it implies that Rin knows something about Makoto that Haru does not.
Which is very silly.
Haru lies back down and turns away from the window, towards Makoto.
Rin's words implied that Makoto has been meaning to ask Haru out, but how could that be? If those were Makoto's true feelings, why would he hesitate? Haru has already said once that he'd date Makoto. Sure, it was years ago, but he meant it -- and nothing's changed between them since then. They're best friends and already so used to each other. Neither of them likes surprises very much. They hardly ever fight. Makoto makes Haru feel safe and happy. As long as Makoto feels the same way about Haru, it should be a perfect match.
This line of thought resonates very nicely with the certainty in Rin's tone.
So why would Makoto hesitate? Could it be it isn't hesitation, and he just doesn't have those kinds of feelings for Haru? No, he must. Rin sounded so sure that Makoto means to ask him out. But doesn't that mean Makoto's been telling Rin things he hasn't been telling Haru? Haru is surprised by how much he hates the very idea. He's never liked it when someone else tried to be Makoto's best friend, but this feels different.
So if Makoto's hesitating, maybe Haru should go ahead and ask him out first. If he wakes Makoto up right now and tells him about his feelings, that should be enough, right?
-
Haru's not sure how long he's been sitting on Makoto's bed; he's a bit afraid to look at the bedside clock. For some reason, he chose to kneel formally next to Makoto, and even though the hotel bed is very squishy, his feet are starting to fall asleep. But he's scared to move, because what if he wakes Makoto?
He thought it was going to be simple: he would shake Makoto's shoulder to wake him up, tell him that he thinks they should date, and then, mission accomplished, go back to his bed and sleep. They could just wake up in the morning as a couple and also as friends, what's the big deal?
As soon as he raised his hand to rattle Makoto awake, the first flaw in his plan became evident: what if Makoto doesn't feel the same way? What if both Haru's hunch and Rin's certainty are wildly off-base; what if Makoto sees Haru strictly as a friend and has no interest in having any other kind of relationship? Haru's stomach flops at the thought of asking Makoto to go out with him only to have Makoto smile at him with those kind eyes and say, I'm sorry, Haru, I don't think of you that way.
He does, doesn't he? He has to. Haru's never wrong about these kinds of things, and Rin's sure of it too. Though Rin is almost always wrong about everything, as far as Haru's concerned. But he has to be right this time.
If he takes it on faith that Makoto wants to date him, the second flaw in his plan is even more terrifying: what if Makoto wants Haru to kiss him? Couples do that kind of thing, but Haru's never kissed anyone before. Is it possible to be bad at kissing? It seems pretty straightforward, but so does swimming to people who can't do it. Then they get in the water for the first time and have to figure out how to kick their legs while their arms do something completely different: not as easy as it looks. Sure, everyone gets the hang of it in the end, but at first there's a lot of flailing and splashing. And nearly drowning.
Haru stares at Makoto's mouth, and his heart rate climbs higher. Is this why Makoto hasn't tried asking him out? Does he feel like this? Does he look at Haru's face and wonder what it'll feel like to kiss him? Does his chest go numb and his hands go all funny? Haru's never felt so flustered in Makoto's company before. No, that's wrong. He did feel exactly like this back when Makoto almost drowned in the ocean, and Haru was about to start mouth-to-mouth. He'd forgotten all about it until now.
Maybe his agitation a sign. Maybe this whole thing was a terrible idea and he should just quietly slink back to his bed and try to forget about it. Or maybe it's a sign that instead of asking Makoto out and possibly having an awkward conversation, he should just conquer this strange new fear and try kissing Makoto. He'll wake up and kiss Haru back, and they'll be boyfriends. That's how it seems to work in movies, though movies aren't usually about two guys. Anyway, it's the same principle.
How difficult could it be? Haru leans down a little. It's hard to see Makoto's face clearly in the gloom, but his lips are parted slightly in sleep, and his breath is warm on Haru's face. Haru stares at Makoto's fuller lower lip -- there's a thin dark split near the centre, and Haru wonders what happened. Did he forget to use his lip balm? Did he get a foot in the face while teaching one of the little kids?
Is it really okay for Haru to just kiss Makoto like this, without asking if he wants to?
He glares at Makoto's mouth.
What if Makoto doesn't feel the same way? What if he doesn't want to kiss me at all?
"Haru-chan? Is something wrong? Did I oversleep? W-Why are you on my bed?" Makoto lifts his head, rubbing one eye. "It's dark."
"Do you want me to kiss you or not?" Haru bursts out. He knows this isn't fair, because Makoto has been asleep this whole time and hasn't had a chance to figure out what Haru's thinking, but the words are gone before he can stop them. His face feels hot.
Makoto slowly lowers his hand. "I-- yes? Please?"
Wasting no time, Haru presses his mouth against Makoto's as hard as he can; it almost hurts. If he concentrates, he can probably align his upper teeth with Makoto's. He pulls back a little. In the movies, people usually seem to get really excited about kissing, they even close their eyes as if it feels nice. Haru just feels normal. Maybe he should try puckering up next time. "That didn't really do anything," he remarks. "Anyway, we should date."
Makoto fumbles one-handed on his bedside table and turns the lamp on. "Are you serious?"
Haru straightens his back and puts his hands on his knees, returning to a formal position. "Of course I'm serious. We even kissed."
"So… Rin told you?"
"Told me what?"
"Nothing," Makoto says. He exhales through pursed lips. "That I'm in love with you."
"You are?" Haru kind of knew it, but hearing it makes him feel as flustered as he did earlier, sitting next to a sleeping Makoto and not knowing what to do with himself. "M-me too, I guess."
Makoto sighs, but he's smiling. "You guess?"
"You make me happy," Haru mutters.
Makoto's eyes light up in a way that makes Haru's heart stop for a moment. He hides his eyes.
"Is it okay if I kiss you this time?" Makoto asks.
"Y-yes," Haru says, though he doesn't see the point. Does it matter who kisses whom?
Makoto pulls Haru down by the back of his neck and rises a little. His mouth is warm against Haru's, warm and soft, no teeth. Haru's breath catches sharply when Makoto presses his tongue against Haru's lower lip, and then Makoto's tongue slides further in, past his teeth and against Haru's tongue, cool at first touch and then suddenly hot, so hot Haru squeaks -- in surprise or delight, he doesn't even know. Now he understands what the big deal is about kissing: he's never felt closer to Makoto before, and all he wants is more of whatever this is, this warmth rushing through him.
Both Makoto's hands are on the sides of his face, gentle yet unyielding, and Haru never wants him to let go. Haru's legs unfold from underneath him as he tries to get closer, to press the rest of himself against Makoto the way his mouth is. Makoto breaks the kiss only long enough to flip Haru onto his back, and though Haru kind of liked being on top, he likes it this way, too -- as long as Makoto keeps kissing him like that, he'll like anything. The heat flooding his lower belly becomes difficult to ignore.
He reaches up with both hands and, with great reluctance, pushes Makoto away. "You have to stop," he pants. "This is making me feel like I need to masturbate."
Makoto looks at him for five silent seconds, dumbfounded, then buries his face in the pillow next to Haru's head. "Are you serious," he mumbles.
It doesn't sound like a question, and Haru feels a little defensive. "What? If we wait a little, the feeling will go away and we can go back to kissing. Or I could go and take care of it in the bathroom--"
"Haru-chan."
"Don't call me that!" Haru says. "If I don't jerk off, I might make a huge mess right here. Do I really have to be the one to explain these things to you?"
Makoto sighs and lifts his head to look at him. "You are serious. Roll over a bit." He tugs the blankets up over both of them and pulls Haru to himself. Haru's dick ends up snug against Makoto's thigh, and the contact, even through the fabric of his boxers, feels so nice it takes all of Haru's willpower not to try and rub against Makoto. That would be so rude.
Makoto shuts the bedside lamp off, puts his arms around Haru, and closes his eyes.
"What are you doing?" Haru asks, alarmed.
"Going back to sleep."
"But what about kissing?" Haru complains. He wanted more kissing.
Makoto kisses his forehead quickly. "There are things we're going to have to talk about before we do more of that kind of kissing."
"Like what?"
"Like sex."
"You can only do that with women," Haru says with a frown. "Everyone says so."
Makoto sighs in that long-suffering, heaven-help-me sort of way he usually reserves for troublemaker kids. "You have been misled." He speaks really slowly, as though deliberating over every word. Haru pretends it doesn't sound like Makoto's trying his hardest not to laugh.
Haru mulls it over for a while. "But we are going out now, right?"
"Yes," Makoto says, and he sounds serious this time. "Yes, we are."
Haru shuts his eyes. "Good."
[end]