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Shane isn’t sure when he started crying. It’d been building up all week, one little thing after another, slowly creeping up on him until he couldn’t hold on anymore. He tried to hold it back at first, biting down on the knuckles of his fist, his eyes squeezed shut as he curled in on himself on his couch. He’d taken a few shaky breaths before it hit him and he found himself sobbing; shoulders shaking, one hand tangled in messy hair and the other over his mouth as tears rolled down his cheeks.
Shane also isn’t sure when he picks up his phone. Doesn’t even realise he’s calling anyone until he hears Ryan’s concerned voice on the other end. Shane’s voice stutters and shakes, and he can’t put together a sentence, but Ryan understands.
“I’m on my way.”
Ryan’s at his side faster than Shane expected – He’d probably broken a few traffic laws to get here so quick, and Shane should be worried, but he can’t find it in himself to focus on anything but his tears and the way Ryan’s arms protectively wrap around him.
Ryan pulled him back up onto the couch (He isn’t sure how he got onto the floor in the first place). His arms stayed tight around Shane’s body as he pulled Shane onto his lap. Shane pressed his face against Ryan’s neck as he cried, and Ryan comfortingly rubbed his back and rocked him.
“It’s ok, Shane,” He murmurs into Shane’s hair. “You’re ok, let it out. I’ve got you.”
Shane cried until he was too tired to cry anymore. His eyes and throat stung, and his head ached. He unwrapped himself from Ryan and pulled back a little. Ryan reached up to wipe away the last of Shane’s tears.
“How you feeling, big guy?” Ryan asked quietly.
“Head hurts,” Shane mumbled as he rubbed his eyes. “’m tired.”
Ryan nodded and shifted to seat Shane back on the couch rather than his lap. He stood up. “You stay here, I’ll be right back, ok?”
Shane was too tired to fight that. Ryan wasn’t gone for long, quickly making his way back to Shane with a glass of water.
“I couldn’t find your painkillers,” He apologized as Shane took the water and drank it. “How about we get you to bed now?”
Shane nodded, staying quiet. Ryan helped him stand up and lead him carefully towards his bedroom. The glass of water was placed on the nightstand as Ryan got Shane to sit on the bed. He grabbed a pair of pajama pants and a shirt and handed them over to Shane.
“Want me to leave while you change?”
Shane shrugged, paused for a second, and then shook his head. “Stay?”
Ryan smiled. “Of course.”
Shane’s arms felt heavy as he changed and, in the end, he opted to just leave the shirt off, too tired to really care. He shuffled back on the bed and wiggled under the covers.
“Do you need anything else?”
Shane thought. There was something else, but part of Shane argued that it’d be too much to ask. Shane was tired though. He was exhausted, and he was tired, and he just wanted to feel better.
“Can you-“ His voice is low and rough from crying and he paused to clear his throat. “Can you hold me? Just until I’m asleep or whatever, you can leave after that if you want. I just- I just need you right now.”
He expected Ryan to say no, to say he had to get home, to say he couldn’t, or it was too much. He expected rejection. He expected literally anything else. Instead he watched as Ryan smiled and nodded, crawling into the bed beside Shane. Shane melted against Ryan as soon as his arms were back around him. He closed his eyes and couldn’t help but smile.
“Love you, Ry,” He mumbled as he drifted off.
“Love you too, Shane.”