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I couldn’t sleep at all thinking that you’ll leave today. I wanted to remember your face,
With my two e y e s.
Perhaps, he was drunk. Or broken-hearted. Or – both.
Jumin Han was stunned with his hand still gripping hard the cell phone. He just received a voice mail from one of the RFA members he would never expect at a time like this; Luciel Choi. The red-haired professional hacker was naturally a nocturnal being, there was nothing strange from his timing of calling, but the content was – another story. Furthermore, not when all of them were supposed to be busy preparing the party, not when her safety was the only thing that bothered him the most. There was a healthy line where Jumin could tolerate Luciel’s quirkiness but tonight, he thought that the vermilion boy just trespassed the border.
Ha-ha-ha, I’m happy for both of you, but I heard from Zen that you’re still with her? Hey, Mr. Trust Fund kid, ha-ha-ha, oh Lord, why the hell I can’t stop laughing talking to you – eh, kidnapping a woman is a very serious crime~ You should take her back home~ Hhh… But I doubt you’re listening to me right now, right?
The rest of the monologue was the sound of his laugh.
If only he were Jumin everybody knew – the stone-cold, heartless, robot-like businessman, then he would just ignore the blabbering and didn’t take it personally. However, it was different, now. Jumin had opened up too wide, felt too much, fell to deep. When someone blocked every possible way to his heart for years, or even decades, to receive the impact of experiencing those feelings all at once could be overwhelming. Jumin could almost see Luciel in front of his face; lips trembling from guffaw but eyes like crystal, melted into tears. There was nothing funny from the way he teased, his chuckle was suffocated with despair and agony.
Luciel was a man, just like him,
Jumin recalled how everybody noticed how deeply he cared for her. Unlike him, who considered her as a threat but decided to trust Jihyun, Luciel did everything he could to substantiate her presence. Back then, Jumin didn’t see it as an act of fondness – he rationalized Luciel’s action toward her was simply because she was a valuable resource so they could once more hold the party. He realized it now that Luciel hid a stronger emotion, things he couldn’t sense ten days earlier, but Jumin was sure that it was compassion. Luciel was too stranded to use the genius brain of his; ha, get yourself a mirror, Jumin Han, he snorted.
If Luciel was a super-computer, then Jumin was artificial intelligence, which both were screwed by a virus named her. It was too late to withdraw – as he already gave his whole heart to this woman, he never calculated she would wreck his stability this much. But at the same time, he found the truest, honest, the best of him, with her helping hand. Jumin sighed heavily before stepped slowly to the bed, where she was sound asleep and brought the tip of her honey-colored hair between his fingers. It wasn’t about her face or her figure, not about appearance. He had been falling for her through her words, her voice, her sincerity,
Am I wrong if I want to make you mine, and only mine?
Using his money and authority, Jumin was able to create a reality where she could live peacefully.
Something Luciel couldn’t do.
And how selfish a man could be for risking the life of his beloved by drawing her close to danger – Luciel knew, but his heart shattered anyway. Funny, how he could still love her in silence with the pieces remain.
“…please don’t think about anyone else other than me,”
Jumin whispered when she was deep in her slumber, cradled by her dream. He didn’t know what she saw but he wished it was him, nothing else, nothing more, just him. His knees were on the floor, slowly and softly put her fingers on his palm, embraced her in such a gentle manner. Jumin had promised her to take her back to the apartment, but – but, something inside him refused. So hard it almost made him puke. He could imagine Luciel, who spied on her, updated her position ‘every three seconds’, and the fact that he wasn’t able to protect her the way Lucien did bother him. Was it the reason behind Luciel’s growing affection toward her? Because he always looked at her, watched her from afar, in quietness, unnoticed?
It could do that to a man.
Love softened him. Time softened him. She softened him.
Luciel was in no wrong for being attracted to her, Jumin thought. Her kindness transcended the chatroom and touched many people’s hearts – even him couldn’t resist such charm, and once he was in her arms, he didn’t want to escape. Jumin pressed his lips on her slim fingers, deeply solemn to take good care of her,
For himself, for Luciel who gave up his heart for her.
Jumin thought it was jealousy that grew inside his stomach, but it wasn’t. All he could feel right now was gratitude – for her existence beside him was his salvation. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for being here and helping me through my darkest day. The time ticked slow, and Jumin didn’t want to waste every second.
Tomorrow, he had to let her spread her wings,
(—for ‘love’ was the most irrational thing ever happened to him, but at the same time, it was more than powerful to bring his senses back altogether.)