Chapter Text
Akaza stared out of the coffee shop's window, the early morning sun shone onto the plants and flowers planted in the window box, his fingers found the hot coffee mug at his table, he brought the mug to his lips and sipped on the coffee, that might've burned the tip of his tongue a little, and fogged up his round glasses.
It felt comfortable to just sit at a coffee shop, enjoy the air conditioner while wrapped in his comfy jacket, it feels better to listen to the background noise while he worked on his laptop, although he eventually drifts off to playing videogames, it made him feel more productive, and alive. The atmosphere of the café was better than his dead apartment's, the chattering of people, occasional chimes of the doorbell, the background music of the shop, the smell of warm beverages, and clattering of tableware.
But sometimes, people speak irritatingly loud.
"No, it's fine."
"I'm not angry."
"It's fine!"
Akaza looked to his left, brows furrowed as he looked for the source of the voice, who sounded obviously upset.
A few tables away, he saw the owner of the voice, with blond hair tied into a half-ponytail, the tips of his hair above his head was dyed red, along with the tips of the strands at the side of his face. He lowered his phone from his ear to the table, and stuffed his hands in his face. Akaza swears, the dude looked so stressed out he felt bad just looking at him.
Akaza's fingers traced the shape of his mug, as he debated whether or not should he talk to the guy or just give him some alone time to calm down. If Akaza's guess was right, it looked like someone had stood him up. He can't see his face from here, but it doesn't hurt to try, he knows how… unpleasant it feels to be alone, so why not help the guy feel better? He decided, and rose from his chair.
Akaza walked towards him with his hands in his pockets, he leaned down slightly, wanting to keep his voice low but still audible to the person he's going to talk to.
"Hey."
The blond literally throws his head back and jumps in his seat, his shoulders tensed for a moment before lowering along with an exhale. "Hi! How can I help you?" The blond smiled, and Akaza breathed in deep because it looked so forced. "No, how can I help you?" Akaza replied, he sat down at the opposing seat and took in the male's confused expression, thick brows arched above his wide, golden eyes, his lips curving in a smile that looked more natural than forced, although Akaza can still feel the pressuring aroma of a person that is in quite a bad mood. It's kind of impressive, but I saw how close you were to breaking down. Akaza commented internally, he tilted his head and raised a brow, waiting for the blond to process the information.
"Was I speaking too loud? I'm sorry," the blond replied, and ran a hand behind his head. "It's fine," Akaza rested his elbows on the table. "So, what's the situation?" He asked, and the blond looked down at his cup of coffee, his hands returned to the table, fidgeting his fingers. "My friend… Stood me up," he raised a finger to scratch at the side of his cheek, then lowered it again to his lap. "That's too bad, for your friend, I mean," the male looked up at his face, surprised. Akaza offered a smile, and continued, "You look pretty fun to hang out with."
"Oh, uh, thanks," he replied with a rather sheepish apology and pulled his cup of coffee towards him before bringing it up to his lips to sip at the beverage. Akaza's eyes remained fixed on his face, trying to spot details such as his eyelashes, his reddened cheeks, and the warm-colored sweater he's wearing.
"I'm Akaza, what's your name?" Akaza asked with a grin, the blond returns the expression with a bright smile. "Rengoku Kyoujurou, nice to meet you, Akaza," he held out a hand for a handshake, Akaza reaches for it, but instead of a handshake, he closes his hand over Kyoujurou's and lowers it to the surface of the table. "Relax, it's not a business meeting," Kyoujurou freezes for a moment and nodded, Akaza pulled away and pushed up his round glasses.
"Well, if you don't mind, Kyoujurou," Akaza pauses for a second, studying Kyoujurou's expression, just in case he wanted to be left alone, he took in a deep breath, and continued. "Would you give me the pleasure to spend the day with you?" He asked, keeping himself as composed as possible, the risk of rejection is quite large but he still gave it a shot.
"Really? That's alright? I'm not giving you any trouble?" Kyoujurou looked happy, that made Akaza feel relieved. "Of course not, I'm the one inviting you," he shifted in his seat, chest bubbling with giddiness and relief. "Thank you!" Kyoujurou exclaimed, then his gaze dropped to the cup of coffee in his hand again. "I really didn't want to be alone today."
Something in Akaza's chest aches, Kyoujurou might've looked a bit intimidatingly cheerful and loud, but as he toned it down, it's a rather gentle aura, a lonely one too.
But Akaza was just glad that he could be here for someone. Being alone is quite depressing, he's all too familiar to it.
"Then, we're both in luck," he says and met Kyoujurou's eyes, which looked a lot livelier compared to just a few moments ago. "Let's enjoy ourselves today. 'Kay, Kyoujrou?"
The chime of the doorbell rang as the door closed, a cool morning breeze greets them as they step out of the shop together.
"Where to?" Akaza asked, one hand hung at his side while another was in his pocket, Kyoujurou is about the same height as he was, something urges him to wrap his arm around Kyoujurou's shoulder, but he still kept a comfortable distance between them.
"We could stroll around! My original plan was to go to the bookstore at the mall, but now it's up to you," Kyoujurou gestures as he speaks, when he doesn’t receive a reply from the other man, he looks at him quizzically, almost timidly. He was surprised when Akaza patted his back, followed by a sentence, "Relax, Kyoujurou. I'm alright with where you wanna go. Take a deep breath." Kyoujurou sighed, putting on a smile as he drew in a long inhale, then exhaled.
"Alright, let's go," Akaza grinned behind his golden metal-framed glasses and snuck a hand around Kyoujurou's shoulder. They began traveling down the street, shops were already open as the lights of the dresses and jewelry displays were lit up, leaves fell from the trees to the sidewalk they were strolling on, another car drifts by, sending a whiff of air that made the leaves rustle by the passersby's feet.
They share a brief conversation about their daily lives, Kyoujurou was in university, while Akaza works at a café and during his spare time, he livestreams videogames.
"That's so cool!" Kyoujurou exclaimed, turning his head to gaze at Akaza's face, "I don't have much time for videogames, but I'd love to see you play!" Akaza's face warmed, feeling giddy at the compliment, "Thanks, I'm flattered."
They arrive at the front of the building, the moment they set foot into it, the noises of the crowd grew louder, with the music played in the background, mixed with the tapping of footsteps.
"Lead the way," Akaza slipped his hand down from Kyoujurou's shoulder, stuffing it back into his pockets. Kyoujurou nods and smiles at him, they continue to chat while walking side by side.
"Kyoujurou, do you come here often?" Akaza asks, his hands swaying naturally by his side. Kyoujurou thinks for a moment before answering, "Yeah, I always go to Cover 2 Cover, it's my favorite bookstore." Kyoujurou tilted his head, catching Akaza's attention, "What about you, Akaza? Do you have any places you like to go?" Akaza blinked, his eyes were still fixed on Kyoujurou's face, but his answer comes late.
"I… I don't really go out a lot," Akaza said, shrugging his shoulders, Kyoujurou seemed at a lost, but he perks up just a second later, "It's okay!" Akaza finds his eyes, sincere and unwavering. "If you like, we can hang out together! Even if it's not outdoors." His heart skipped, allowing the subtle sweetness to flow into his chest. It would've felt overwhelming for him if the loneliness that he had gotten used to wasn't there to stop the rest of the comfort he felt from seeping into him completely.
But this time, he wanted to keep the door open for Kyoujurou.
"Thank you," the corners of his lips curve upward, earning another grin from the blond.
They take the escalator to the second floor, making their way to the bookstore without exchanging any words.
"So, Akaza," Kyoujurou starts, they entered the bookstore and stopped at the nearest aisle, "What kind of book are you interested in?" "Ah… Give me a moment…" Akaza crosses his arms, looking down at the ground while he thought. "I don't read a lot, but maybe I'll take a look at fiction." "Sure! It's just right around here," Kyoujurou nodded and turned to the second aisle, Akaza followed him and faced the row of books, unsure of where to start.
He scanned his eyes over the cover of the books, taking in the monotone color and titles of the books. Kyoujurou strode sideways to another row and crouched down, he pulled out a book from the bottom shelf with a rather dark-colored cover.
Akaza crouched down next to him as Kyoujurou read the back cover of the book, where the summary was written.
"What do you normally read?" Kyoujurou glances at him before turning back to the book, "I read all sorts of books, I do enjoy fiction though!" Kyoujurou flipped the book over, revealing the title of the book.
They continue to look around, eventually, they left the store after paying for Kyoujurou's book.
"How do you feel about the arcade?" Akaza suggests while Kyoujurou stuffs the change into the plastic bag. "I haven't been to one for so long! Do you want to go?" Akaza had to suppress a chuckle when he heard the excitement in Kyoujurou's voice, he smirked and wrapped an arm around Kyoujurou's shoulder. "Of course, especially when someone sounds so excited, I can't let them down, should I?" Kyoujurou's cheek reddened and he laughed nervously, "Is it that obvious?" "Well, yeah, but you looked cute," Akaza was unsure if he should ever compliment Kyoujurou cute, but as he spent more time with the blond, the words 'cute' and 'charming' kept coming back to his mind.
"Thank you?" It sounded more like a question, Akaza sneaks a glance at Kyoujurou, turning away when Kyoujurou noticed him.
He didn't seem upset with the compliment, Akaza knows when he saw the smile and the blush on Kyoujurou's face.
The coins dropped from the ticket redeeming machine, its clang contributing to the loud noises of the arcade, music played loudly while people's cheers and shouts rise and fall occasionally in the arcade. Akaza gave most of the coins to Kyoujurou while keeping some of it in his pocket.
"Where do you wanna start?" Akaza asked, Kyoujurou looked at him and tilted his head, "Where do you wanna start?" He leaned closer to make his voice more audible, Kyoujurou cranes his head back as his mouth formed an 'O' in acknowledgment.
"Let's go for that one!" Kyoujurou pointed at the theatre arcade machine, Akaza nodded and followed him to the machine, Kyoujurou's head brushed against the curtain as he slid in, as they settled at the seats of the machine, the light from the screen illuminated the somewhat enclosed space. In front of them were two plastic guns on the holder and the coin box. "We can hear each other better here," Kyoujurou said, his fingers playing with a few coins. "Yeah," Akaza breathes, "It's a lot louder than I remembered." "We can take a breath outside if it’s too overwhelming," Kyoujurou reassured and patted at Akaza's arm.
Their eyes meet again and they fall quiet for a moment.
"Thanks, again," Akaza grinned, and Kyoujurou pulled away with a smile of relief. "Now let's slay some virtual squid and make takoyaki," Akaza said as he fished out a few coins from his pocket, Kyoujurou lets out a few laughs and takes the plastic gun into his hand, "Yes, yes, some sweet potato would be great, too." The screen transitioned from the game's preview to the main menu as Akaza dropped the coins into the box, "We should go grab a bite after this," Akaza grabbed another gun, pointing it at the screen. "I'd love that."
"Phew, that was, more intense than I thought!" Kyoujurou sighed and stretched his arms. "I'm glad that my gaming experience had paid off," Kyoujurou looked over at Akaza's direction and chuckled, "Sure did."
"Okay, it's your turn to choose now," Kyoujurou stood next to Akaza and nudged him. "Alright, how about the basketball machine?" "You're on," both of them rolled up their sleeves and marched towards the machine.
Both of them inserted coins into the coin box of different machines, when the chime goes off, both of them prepared their stance, waiting for the gate to open as basketballs rolled down into their hands, they began tossing it at the hoop, the digits projected above the hoop went up with each ball that got in.
Kyoujurou gained a close win by one point and pumped his arm in victory. "Good one, I'll try to get you a prize," Akaza ruffled his hair, laughing when Kyoujurou caught his wrist, "Tormenting my scalp included?" Akaza paused for a moment, before he raised both of his hands. "Yes." Kyoujurou swirled around and made a bolt for the exit. "Hey!" Akaza yelled in surprise and caught up with him, he placed both of his hands on Kyoujurou's shoulder and squeezed, Kyoujurou yelped and began laughing, all the while trying to get Akaza's hands off him.
"Wait!" Kyoujurou continues giggling with his hands still clenching around Akaza's, the moment Akaza relaxes his fingers, he inhales and turns around. "Okay, okay, seriously, what's the prize?" Kyoujurou crossed his arms, ducking his head when Akaza reaches for it once more. "Just kidding, I'm going to get you a plushie from the claw machine," Akaza grinned. "I'd like to see you try, aren't those things rigged?" Kyoujurou raises his brow, but Akaza's expression doesn't change. "Just you see," Akaza's hand found his shoulder again as they approached the row of machines, the colorful lights and cheerful music doesn't change the ugly money-eating nature of it.
Akaza dragged his eyes over each and every one of the machines, as the previous player left the control panel, he stood in front of it while his hands searched for coins in his pocket. "Which one would you like?" Akaza asked, Kyoujurou looked inside through the glass, and pointed at a plush in the pit, "The creepy Teletubby with a color I don't recognize." Akaza threw a glance at him, and they kept their eye contact for about a second. "Okay," he smirked and threw his coins into the box, then began controlling the three-pronged claw, craning his head up and down to sideways until the last few seconds.
The claw fell, but retreats itself without any prize.
"One more time," Akaza threw in the last of his coins, repeating what he had done in the previous round, this time, he spent a little more time positioning the claw. "And hit-" Akaza tapped on the button, the claw fell, with another tap, the claw caught the plush, they held their breath, when it finally dropped into the prize pit, Akaza crouched down and reached for it, then gave it to Kyoujurou. "Wow, thank you!" Kyoujurou took the plush and inspected it in his hands.
"This will remind me of you," Kyoujurou held up the plushie, his fingers poked at the back of its head, bobbing it forward. "I'm not that ugly," Akaza huffed a laugh, Kyoujurou knocked the plushie's head against Akaza's arm, "It's not that bad, I think it's cute!" Akaza crossed his arms, his smile still on his face, "You called it creepy just a while ago!" "That is before this buddy got out of that machine, and it's just like you, in a way," Kyoujurou continue studying the plushie. "I feel very attacked!" Akaza puts a palm to his chest dramatically, receiving another whack from Kyoujurou.
"Alright, I actually do feel happy that you talked to me," Kyoujurou admitted, his eyes darted to Akaza's face then back to the toy in his hand. "Anyway, I have a few coins left, let's use it on the dancing machine?" Kyoujurou played with the toy's limbs, mimicking dance movements. "Of course, but I've never tried it before," Akaza follows him and travels to another corner of the arcade, where the dance machine was. "Me neither, let's try it together, I've always wanted to," Kyoujurou makes his way onto the platform, stepping on the button experimentally, color shone from below his feet. "I was always too nervous to play this… But…" dropping the coins into the box, he stood up again and smiled up at Akaza, "I just felt comfortable with you." Akaza chuckled and moved closer, bumping his shoulder against Kyoujurou's, "Are you confident that I'm terrible with this?" "No, I mea-" "Cause you're damn right, let's do this," Akaza cuts Kyoujurou off and patted his back, bringing a few laughs to the blond's lips.
"Let's pick an easy one," Kyoujurou said, trying to control the menu with the button beneath his feet, "Sure," Akaza scans over the selection of songs, barely registering the songs that played shortly as it was selected, when Kyoujurou stops at the song of his choosing, they briefly look over at each other's direction, with a nod, Kyoujurou stepped on the button to select it.
The beginning of the song was easy to follow, the beat of the music made them energetic as they followed the arrows that appeared on the screen. When the song finally gets amazing, though, the notes become more rapid, the moment Akaza tripped, both of them lose their rhythm when they begin laughing, he caught the railing behind him and continued his attempt to catch up with the notes.
"You- You can choose this time," Kyoujurou placed his hand on his knees, panting for breath, there's still a hint of laughter in his voice, which made him sound adorable to Akaza. Akaza nods, but he was not in a much better state than Kyoujurou was, "Y-yeah, just give me a moment…"
When they were ready to start the second round, Akaza chose a song that he'd heard, which might make it little easier for him. Right as he stepped on the button, before the first notes hit, Kyoujurou grabbed his hand, and he tightens his grip on the other's hand instinctively, even when his heart leaped at his throat and his mind went blank at the moment their skin made contact, he missed a few notes, which made Kyoujurou giggle even when he was hardly keeping up.
Of what felt like forever, or in a flash, the song was already ending and Akaza had hit the last of the notes, his chest rose and fell as he heaves for air. When their hands part, he turned to Kyoujurou, who looks just as exhausted, his face flushed with a few drops of sweat trickling down the side of his face.
"Well, that was great. Exhausting, though," Kyoujurou wiped at his forehead with the back of his hand, his sweater's sleeves were still rolled up, and Akaza had just noticed just how stuffy and hot his jacket was. "Yeah, it was fun," Akaza looked around and tugged at his jacket impatiently. "This place is really packed, we should get out of here," he ran a hand through his hair, a very bad attempt to get the sweat off his hair as it got sweat all over his hand. "True, let's go," Kyoujurou stepped off the machine and waited for Akaza to make his way around, they paced out of the arcade, sighing a breath of relief as the cool air of the air conditioner hits them.
They sat down on a bench for a short break, their legs were sore from pacing around the arcade, especially after the last game they'd played. The straps of the plastic bag where he had stuffed his book and the plushie that Akaza got him remained around his wrist, he had almost forgotten about it while they were in the arcade. Akaza took off his jacket and folded it messily before reaching for his round glasses, he pinched his nose bridge where his glasses sat, when he opened his eyes, he caught Kyoujurou's curious gaze on him. He faced Kyoujurou and gave him a smile, he doesn't look that different without glasses, but he wore it just to make himself look better. "Well?" Kyoujurou looked away and down at his hands that were on his lap, "Well, you look good, with glasses or not." Akaza chuckled and slipped his glasses into his pocket. "I'm flattered you think so."
"Are you hungry?" Akaza patted his gray t-shirt, wanting to wipe off the sweat on his palms. "Yeah," Kyoujurou's answer was short, but he followed Akaza as the man stood up from the bench, "Then, let's go and grab a bite," Akaza swung his jacket over his shoulder. "Takoyaki?" Akaza says when he finds Kyoujurou standing next to him, beaming at him. "Sure!"
The stall was just a few feet away, they bought a pack of takoyaki, then Kyoujurou brought Akaza to another stall outside of a food court, which was selling sweet potatoes. They found another bench and shared the takoyaki, putting the freshly baked sweet potatoes aside since it was still hot.
Akaza offered the last stick of takoyaki to Kyoujurou, but he only shook his head. "We can split it," Akaza suggested, before Kyoujurou could say anything, he ate one of the takoyaki and passed the stick to Kyoujurou. "Thank you!" Kyoujurou said after he swallowed his food and took the stick from Akaza.
"You can have another one," Kyoujurou offered, but Akaza refused. "It's okay, you can have it," Akaza reached for the bag of sweet potatoes that sat by his thigh, it's still burning hot. "Thanks," Kyoujurou thanked him, again, because he's just that nice.
As Kyoujurou finishes his share of takoyaki, Akaza passes him the sweet potato. "Thank you, again," Kyoujurou blew at it before biting down. "You're welcome," Akaza says and begins eating his share, Kyoujurou does say 'thanks' a lot… Since this morning, Kyoujurou had been nothing but kind, sweet and polite, what kind of person would ditch someone this perfect?
Well, he's glad he was able to know him.
It would've been so sad if Akaza didn't know someone as wonderful as Kyoujurou exists on this earth with him.
"When I was still in high school, I used to bake sweet potatoes for my younger brother, we had to peel the skin and everything," Akaza's attention shifted to Kyoujurou's voice, he waited for the blond to continue, "He's living with me right now, since our father gave me custody over him." "That sounds tough…" Akaza said, waiting for Kyoujurou to continue, "Yeah, but it makes me feel relieved that he's in my care." Kyoujurou nibbles at his food, "I'm doing my best to support us," he paused before speaking more clearly, "And today, I had the chance to wind down, then, you know what happened."
"Your friend bailed on you?" Akaza said, his bag of food now lowered to his lap. "Yeah," Kyoujurou chuckled helplessly, "But then, you just appeared."
"At first I wasn't so sure, I felt so tired and sad," Kyoujurou scratched at the back of his head. "But I just felt really happy with you, even when I thought I just don't deserve to be happy," Kyoujurou shrugged his shoulders, his irises meeting Akaza's. "And this means a lot to me."
Akaza's fingers poked at Kyoujurou's hand gently, when Kyoujurou freed his hand, Akaza intertwined their fingers, and gave Kyoujurou's hand a light squeeze.
"I don't know where to start, but I'm just gonna say what comes to mind," He looked him in the eye, hoping to get his words across. "You are the most wonderful person I've ever met. You deserve so much more, and I want to let you know," Kyoujurou remained quiet, but still held a sad smile. "Whenever you need anyone, I want you to know that I'm here," Akaza lets go of their hands, only to spread out his arms, offering a hug, "Come here."
Kyoujurou inched close and dropped his sweet potato in his lap, wrapping his arms around Akaza's torso, and he felt the other man do the same.
Kyoujurou sighed, leaning into the comfort of the embrace. Akaza's hand stroked his back, his forehead was leaning on Akaza's shoulder, he felt safe, he felt that everything was going to be alright, and he felt like he was… cherished, for once. And he doesn't realize just how tired and pent-up he was until he was being held like he mattered. He was always looking out for others, and he just wanted someone that would care about him as much as he cared about everyone.
Was it selfish? Even so, he just wanted to feel loved.
"Thank you," Kyoujurou muttered and they part. "No problem," Akaza nods, even when there were so much hesitation and unsaid words behind his eyes.
As they finished their food, they sat around for a short while, unsure of what to do next.
"Do you want to drop by my place?" Kyoujurou asked, sounding a little nervous. "We could sit around, watch a movie…"
"Sounds lovely," Akaza answered, naturally, their hands found each other and they began making their way to the exit of the mall.
"I just want you to know," Akaza began, and Kyoujurou turned to him, "You should have more time to yourself."
"I want you to be happy," they remained quiet until Akaza continued again after stepping off the escalator that took them to the first floor, "You just seem so perfect to me and deserve so much more."
Kyoujurou hesitated, he wasn't perfect, he was always afraid, afraid that his true self was the worse version of himself, afraid that he was undeserving of love and afraid of that the face he showed everyone was just a façade.
"I know nobody's perfect but," Akaza began once more when they stepped out of the building, "You're making an effort to make sure the people around you are happy." As the sliding glass door opened up, warm air slipped into the building, in an instant, the cold they'd felt was replaced by the comfortable temperature of the world.
At the same time, Akaza's words were like bubbles, delicate and light, as it popped against Kyoujurou's chest, his heart skipped a beat.
"That's what it counts," Akaza caressed both of his hands, the color in his eyes were enhanced by the sun, and the heat that emitted from Akaza's hand might've burned him.
Kyoujurou was at a lost, he didn't know he needed this, needed someone to tell him that he was enough.
His nose felt sour, he pulled Akaza into another hug, burying his face in his shoulder to stop the tears that welled up in his eyes from falling.
"There, there," Akaza's hand were fondling with his hair, pressing tenderly at his scalp. Kyoujurou wasn't crying because of sadness, but because that he was grateful.
He sniffled and pulled away, chuckling lightly when Akaza tapped his hands on his shoulders and tucked his blond locks behind his ear.
"Let's get some rest at your place, okay?" Akaza's pinky brushed against his before gently taking Kyoujurou's hand into his.
Kyoujurou's eyes twinkled as he smiled, and walked back home with Akaza knowing there would be a next time where Akaza would stand next to him as they travel down the street, crushing leaves under their feet. Even when the world was against them, their intertwined hands will make them feel secure. Their eyes that were locked onto each other will envelop them with warmth no matter how bleak the weather was. The fluttering in their chests when they see each other's smiles will always remind them that the place they want to belong to was next to each other.
Everything was alright when they have each other.