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Yuuki Tetsuya wasn't the kind of person to dwell on his sorrows.
Since his first year at Seidou, Tetsu had always focused on the future. Through the disdain of his senpai in his first year, the tough losses and defeats, the aching muscles and the long nights and days of practice, he had simply continued to swing his bat, long after everyone else had quit. But this wasn't something he could swing his bat through. The future he was aiming for no longer existed.
It was only a few hours ago that they had lost to Inashiro, and he couldn't quite accept yet that his dream was over. He would never lead his team to Koushien, would never stand upon that hallowed ground of high school baseball, the aspiration of young boys all over the country. So here he stood, swinging his bat as if his dreams hadn't been crushed just hours ago. Before, each droplet of sweat tasted like progress, like a promise of his dream, like every ounce of effort would make a difference in his future. Now, they just tasted like salt, more like tears than sweat.
He finished his swings and sat down against a tree, finally allowing himself to rest and to think. When it came down to it, it was impossible to explain what drove him to play baseball. What was the thing that pushed thousands of boys to dedicate their youth to baseball when half of all teams lost in the first round of their regional tournaments? When only a few would ever have results to show the world? Tetsu couldn't possibly put it into words. He only knew that he would have given anything to take his team to nationals, and it still wasn't enough.
He wasn't enough. For the first time in years, Tetsu allowed himself to drown in his own insecurity. If he had managed to hit just once more against Narumiya, maybe things would have been different. He'd done everything he could for the past three years, and still wasn't enough. The desire to reach Koushien had burned through his veins, consumed his time and his mind and swollen to fill every gap in his life, and now it had popped like a balloon, leaving him empty.
Thoughts of Inashiro's team fill Tetsu's head involuntarily, and of one player in particular. Harada, not Tetsu, would be the captain to take his team to Koushien, to lead them across that sacred ground, to have a chance at the ultimate prize of high school baseball. Tetsu felt no anger towards the other captain, only respect and a sort of longing, to have that chance and that small twist of fate to be the representative of West Tokyo.
Tetsu's mind wandered a little as he thought of Harada. Of all the players in Tokyo, Harada was maybe the one he respected the most. When they had faced each other the year before, Tetsu knew immediately that Harada was the one who he would have to defeat as Inashiro's captain in the future. He was an incredibly imposing batter to face on defense, with both reliability and strength. His wide shoulders, catcher's thighs, and height made him physically imposing as well, and if Tetsu was completely honest with himself, he found Harada to be very, very physically attractive.
He'd realized this in the middle of the Seidou-Inashiro game the previous year. Harada had hit a long ball just inside the foul line, barely passing over Tetsu's outstretched glove to land between him and the outfield, allowing the third-base runner to score. They'd gotten Harada out at first base, but the grin on Harada's face had sent Tetsu's heart plunging into the bottom of his stomach, and not just because of the run they'd just given up.
Tetsu's respect for Harada had only grown since then. Tetsu had recognized the intense pressure set upon him as both captain and cleanup batter, and had done his best to rise up to the challenge. But in the end, it hadn't been enough, had it? Not when his rival, the opponent in high school baseball he respected most, had been not only the captain and the cleanup, but also the cornerstone of the defense. Narumiya was a firecracker, and a nigh uncontrollable one at that, but Harada had commanded even his respect, and created one of the strongest batteries Tokyo had ever seen.
And to top it all off, Tetsu had heard that Harada was receiving plenty of well-deserved scouting attention and planned to go pro right out of high school. As much as he deserved it, Tetsu couldn't help but feel a pang at the thought of his rival and object of admiration escaping his grasp.
No, Tetsu thought to himself, not his object of admiration. His longtime crush. He might as well admit it to himself now that his high school baseball career was over and the pressure and responsibility of being Seidou’s strong, confident captain had been ripped away from him. But this crush wouldn't do him any good now either. Tetsu knew he wanted to go to university, to work hard in baseball and in school, and to return to Seidou, the place that had given him this chance. Kataoka was his hero, and Tetsu was determined to follow in his footsteps. He was confident in his decision and in his path, but it hurt a little to consider what else could be. How he could go pro, could even end up playing with instead of against Harada someday, how the opposing teams wouldn't stand a chance against the cleanup batters of Seidou and Inashiro together.
"Tetsu, Kataoka wants to talk to you tomorrow." Jun's gruff voice interrupted Tetsu's thoughts as his best friend sat down beside him. "You doing okay?"
Tetsu gave him a small smile. "As well as can be expected, I suppose."
Neither addressed their still-damp eyes.
"What do you think Kataoka wants to talk about? Not like there's much to be said for us anymore," Jun grumbled.
"Probably the captaincy," Tetsu said. "He'll want to get the new team up and running as soon as possible."
"Guess so. Who d'ya think it should be?"
Tetsu's thoughts came together all at once, and he replied with absolute certainty, "Miyuki."
"Huh, really?" Jun said. "Not Kuramochi? Not Nori? Heck, Zono might even be better at dealing with people than Miyuki."
"Yeah. It's gotta be him."
Tetsu had done all he could in the captaincy. Though he wasn't a man of many words, he strove to treat his teammates kindly and fairly, while still being tough and forcing the first-years to shape up. He led mostly with his skills and his own work ethic, and the team followed him loyally. But they'd still lost, and the one who defeated him was Harada. Captain, cleanup, and catcher. Maybe that was Seidou's way forward as well.
"Captain, cleanup, and catcher, huh?" asked Jun. "Don't you think that's a lot of responsibility?"
"Harada did it. Miyuki can do it too."
"Oh, is that what this is about?" teased Jun. "Don't think I haven't seen you staring at him from across the field."
Tetsu's cheeks colored slightly, but he shook his head. "My personal feelings aside, I think the responsibility might be good for him, and that he'll raise the team up in ways that they desperately need."
"Hmm. Well, it's your call, Mr. Team Captain," Jun said. "At the very least, Mochi will keep Miyuki in line, and we all know Sawamura's never afraid to shout at Miyuki a little."
They sat in companionable silence for a bit longer, and as the moon came up, they stood. Together, they walked back from their practice spot to the dorms, for what might be the very last time.
**
"Ah, Yuuki-kun, come in," Kataoka said. "I wanted to talk to you about your future."
"Not the captaincy, sir?" Tetsu asked, a little surprised.
"Well, that too, but your next steps are important too. As disappointed as you must be, we still made the tournament finals, and scouts will have seen your performance. I've been contacted by several university teams as well."
"Sir, I want to go to Meiji, like you. And eventually, I want to come back to Seidou, and I want to coach here."
"Tetsu, are you sure? You could always give the pros a shot, and come back to college when you're ready."
"I'm sure," he replied. He was. "And I'm also sure that Miyuki should be the captain."
He explained his reasoning, and Kataoka nodded. "I agree with you. It'll be interesting to see how the team grows and changes under Miyuki. Give him a hand if he needs it, will you?"
"Yes, sir. Thank you for everything, sir." Tetsu bowed deeply to Kataoka, heart in his throat with the end of his baseball career and the passing on of the captaincy, and left.
**
Tetsu was sure about Seidou's future, his own future with baseball, and he was sure now about something else he wanted too. So he took out his phone, and began to type out a simple message.
He was interrupted almost immediately by an incoming message. Tetsu didn’t frequently use his phone, and was surprised to be receiving a message.
The text message was from Harada, and read, “Nice game yesterday. If I win for both of us at Koushien, can I buy you dinner?”
Tetsu smiled, and sent Harada the message he had been about to send anyway.
“You better win for us.”