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Yoongi loves teaching at Hogwarts, he really does.
When he left the school years ago he didn’t think he’d ever come back. He worked at a potions store in Diagon Alley, and was happy with his life there, truly. But when his old Potions professor retired and suggested Yoongi to take on the position, Yoongi said yes.
And he loves it, honestly. The students are fine, mostly. Some are even great, and the ones who aren’t really don’t affect him much.
Also, he’s working with many professors he used to know and be friends with back in his school days, because Hogwarts has been undergoing a youngification recently, all of the old professors either retiring or, in some cases, dying.
Nowadays, there’s Namjoon, another former prefect, teaching History of Magic and Hoseok, who he used to tutor in potions, teaching Herbology. Jimin is in charge of Transfiguration, which makes sense because Yoongi still remembers so well how he always used to transform all the armchairs in the Slytherin common room into clouds, the little brat. Taehyung came back to the school in the same year as Jimin – obviously, the two had always been attached at the hip – and now he does both Astronomy and Astrology and helps out with Care for Magical Creatures from time to time, because apparently he has no other hobbies. And even Jungkook, Ravenclaw prodigy turned Quidditch star has recently been returning to Hogwarts once a week to finally fulfil his dream job of teaching the first years how to fly.
And then, of course, there’s Seokjin.
And really, Yoongi loves teaching at Hogwarts, especially with all of the people dearest to his heart around him.
But sometimes, just sometimes, he regrets every single decision he ever made that led him here.
Here, meaning standing in the doorframe leading into the Charms classroom, watching Seokjin teach a bunch of mortified fifth years sex ed without an ounce of embarrassment, while Yoongi’s own face turns redder and redder.
“And this concludes our lesson,” Seokjin finally says after what felt like hours, wiping the chalkboard of his unintelligible writing with a flourish of his wand. “Unless, of course, there are any more questions?”
Seokjin is met with a resounding silence. Yoongi is grateful for it. He’s not sure how much longer he could listen to Seokjin talk about this stuff without his head exploding.
“Okay, then you’re free to go. I’ll even let you off without homework if you promise to properly practice the charms I taught you today. And don’t forget! The pronunciation on the last syllable of the lube charm has to be just right, otherwise the lube will be too sticky and not properly do its job, and the protection charm works only if it’s done exactly right, so always use a condom as well just to make sure! And if you have any more questions, I’m always here, this is a shame-free zone. Have a nice week, make smart decisions with the knowledge I gave you, and stay safe!”
Once Seokjin has stopped talking, all of the students immediately move to rush out of the door, most of them not even noticing Yoongi standing there. The ones who do quickly nod at him, not confused at seeing him here instead of in the dungeons, where his classroom is. Yoongi can often be found in and around the Charms corridor.
“Oh, Professor Min, what a pleasant surprise to see you here,” Seokjin’s voice comes up from the front of the classroom, and when Yoongi looks over to him he sees a shit-eating grin on the other’s face. “Are you here for some sex ed as well, perhaps?”
“Shut up,” Yoongi grumbles. When he sees that there’s still one student left in the classroom, a bit too slow at having packed his bag, he adds a quick “Professor Kim.”
“I take that as a no then,” Seokjin replies, and he’s still having way too much fun with this. “What else did you come here for, then?”
“To talk about tonight’s patrol, of course,” Yoongi says, slowly moving forwards from where he was still leaning on the doorframe, letting the last stray student pass by him.
Once the door closes, Yoongi relaxes, lets his shoulders sink and falls back into his usual slouch.
“Tonight’s patrol? Really?” Seokjin says, walking towards Yoongi. “Is that the best you could come up with?”
“Shut up,” Yoongi says once more, and finally lets himself fall into the arms that Seokjin has already extended. “You know I hate having to come up with an excuse on the spot.”
“And yet you always have to do it, because you keep coming here between classes,” Seokjin says, resting his chin on top of Yoongi’s head. “Someone might get the idea that you’re a little obsessed with me, Professor Min.”
“Don’t worry about that, Professor Kim,” Yoongi grins and tightens his arms around Seokjin even more. “The students won’t get any wrong ideas. After all, they know that I am married.”
“Well yes, they know that, but they don’t know anything about me. What if they get it into their heads that all your attention has made me fall in love with you, and now I’m left to hopelessly pine because you are a taken man?” Seokjin moves back a little bit, just to wipe fake tears from his eyes, and Yoongi scoffs.
“Please, all the students think you’re way out of my league. You’d never fall in love with me.”
“Well, they’re not so wrong,” Seokjin muses, quickly jumping out of the way of Yoongi’s arm reaching out to hit him. “Nowadays, I am way out of your league. Too bad I fell for you when I was still sixteen and lanky and wearing those thick glasses that made me ugly.”
“Nothing ever made you ugly,” Yoongi denies vehemently, and Seokjin laughs.
“That’s true! Thanks for the ego boost,” he says and even has the audacity to wink at him, and Yoongi glares.
“I hate you.”
“Oh well, then why did you marry me?” Seokjin singsongs, pulling out his wand and walking towards the chalkboard to start writing something on it.
“Believe me, I ask myself that every day,” Yoongi deadpans, plopping himself down on top of the teacher’s desk.
“Rude,” Seokjin says. “Especially after you came to see me because apparently you missed me too much. Couldn’t even wait until lunch, huh?”
“I was just in this area of the castle anyways and thought I’d drop by,” Yoongi lies, and Seokjin hums, obviously not believing a word.
“Sure, love. Because you often just so happen to be on the second floor corridor when your next class in the dungeons starts in five minutes.”
“This soon?” Yoongi pulls his watch out of his pocket, takes one look at it and curses. “Shit, I need to go back so I can clean the rest of the cauldrons. Third year Gryffindors are honestly the least talented potionmakers in history.”
Seokjin looks at him with a raised eyebrow, pointing his wand. “Don’t you say anything mean about Gryffindors or I’ll have to punch, you big bad Slytherin.”
“I don’t have anything against them because they’re Gryffindors,” Yoongi emphasizes, “I have something against them because they’re horrible potionmakers. You’re a Gryffindor but a decent potionmaker, that’s why I accept you.”
“First of all, how dare you? I was much better than just decent, thank you very much!” Seokjin points his wand even more menacingly at Yoongi, and Yoongi just laughs.
“Sure, hyungie, if that’s what helps you sleep at night. What’s second of all?”
“Second of all, I forgot what I wanted to say,” Seokjin sniffs, pushing up his glasses. “Anyways, you really need to leave now, or you won’t make it in time.”
“Just say you want me to go and be done with it,” Yoongi pouts, but gets off of the desk nonetheless.
“I want you to go,” Seokjin says and winks again, but then he steps into Yoongi’s personal space once more, pressing a quick kiss to his forehead.
“Though, if you really want to, you can of course stay and watch,” Seokjin offers, and Yoongi grins. Obviously he won’t accept, but it’s fun to think about.
“Oh yeah? Who’re you teaching next?”
“The fifth year Hufflepuffs,” Seokjin replies with a smirk, and Yoongi’s eyes widen.
“It’s time to give them the sex talk as well. I’m sure it’s gonna be a fun lesson, the ‘puffs are so much less stiff than the Ravenclaws, don’t you think?”
“I need to go right now,” Yoongi wheezes, stepping out of Seokjin’s hug and basically running towards the door. No second too soon, because right as he reaches it, the first group of students barges in, happily greeting first Yoongi and then Seokjin.
“Uhm, I’m glad that we could talk through this issue regarding tonight’s patrol,” Yoongi stutters, looking at Seokjin who’s openly grinning at him.
“I’ll see you at lunch, Professor Kim.”
“Sure, Professor Min. See you then,” Seokjin says cheerily, and then Yoongi turns around, quickly rushing out of the classroom.
“Did you see? Professor Min spend the whole break with Professor Kim once again,” a student whispers to her friend as Yoongi walks past her. “Doesn’t he know that Kim is in love with him? Why does Min constantly have to lead him on when he’s married? Poor Professor Kim!”
Yoongi keeps his blank face as he keeps walking, not letting it show that he heard, but internally he snorts.
Working at Hogwarts is great. Even if he has students who know fuck-all about potions and regularly make his classroom go up in flames, and even if he has a husband unable to feel any sort of shame who enjoys it way too much to petrify him.
But he’s living in a castle he called his home since he was eleven years old, with friends he made over the years and a husband he loved since he was sixteen, and Yoongi guesses that if he really thinks about it, he can’t bring himself to regret any of the decisions that led him here after all.