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Xehanort sighed and collapsed on the bed. He was tired, so very tired, and his thoughts were racing faster than he could keep up with. He had been in Radiant Garden for a week now, and he still hadn’t recovered any of his memories.
…Or rather, he still didn’t know which of his memories were real or false.
In some of his memories, the man with the white coat had been his teacher. In others, he was his friend and rival. The boy who wielded his Keyblade backhanded had been his apprentice, but then he left him with the man with the white coat… And then the boy became his friend.
None of this made sense.
He stared at the ceiling, afraid and confused by the many thoughts running through his mind. Which were real, which could he trust? Perhaps none of them were real. Was that an option? But all of them felt real. Did that mean anything?
A knock on the door startled him and he sat up, just in time to see the door creak open. The youngest apprentice, Ienzo, quietly entered his room and closed the door behind him. The boy was clutching a book and looked like he had been crying.
“Are you alright, Ienzo?” Xehanort asked.
Ienzo nodded bravely, an obvious lie. The boy was a bad liar. “I can’t sleep” he said softly, voice quivering and on the verge of tears. “Can you read me a story?”
“Of course. Come here.” Xehanort smiled, a smile that didn’t feel any more real than Ienzo’s lies. The boy didn’t seem to notice and climbed into the bed, handing him the book and immediately cuddling closer to him.
“Did you have a nightmare?” Xehanort asked as he leafed through the book, searching for Ienzo’s favourite story.
Ienzo nodded and oh, there were the tears. “I- I saw-“ He sobbed. “I saw my parents-“
“Shh…” Xehanort put the book aside and pulled Ienzo closer to him. “Shh, it’s okay. It’s just a nightmare. It’s not real.”
“I- I know.” Ienzo sniffled and wiped his tears away with his sleeve. “But- But it feels so real…”
“Bad dreams always do. Especially when they bring back memories.” Xehanort smiled and ruffled Ienzo’s hair. “But it’s still a dream, and dreams are never real.”
“Do you have bad dreams, too?”
“Of course. Everyone does.” Xehanort sighed. “Sometimes I wake up from one of those dreams and I can’t sleep again. Sometimes I wonder if what I saw in my dream was a memory. But I can never be sure.”
“You still don’t remember anything?” Ienzo almost sounded disappointed.
“Nothing. I don’t remember my home, or my parents, or my siblings if I had any, or my friends… I don’t remember anything except my name.” That was a lie. He remembered the man in the white coat, and the boy who wielded his Keyblade backhanded, and the woman who wore the grey-blue armour, but he didn’t know who they were to him. “No, that’s not true. I remember some… Friends? I think they were my friends.”
“Is that one of your friends?” Ienzo pointed at the chest in the corner of the room, the chest that contained the armour Xehanort refused to throw away. It was important to him, he knew that, but he didn’t know why.
“I think she was, yes.”
“She is” Ienzo corrected him.
“What?”
“She is your friend. She’s still here, right?”
Was she? “No, that is only her armour. I don’t know why she left it with me, or where she went. But she is somewhere far away, where I can’t find her.”
“Oh.” Ienzo sighed in disappointment.
Xehanort chuckled. “Were you expecting living armour?”
“Maybe.” Ienzo looked a little embarrassed. “Do you think she’ll come back?”
“I hope so. But until she does, I’m alone.”
“You’re not alone.” Ienzo shook his head. “You have friends here, too. Braig, and Aeleus, and Dilan… And you have family here, too.”
“What?”
“Master Ansem and I are your family, right? You’re my big brother, and Master Ansem is our father.” A pause. “Or our grandpa. He’s old enough to be our grandpa, right?”
Xehanort couldn’t help it, he laughed. “Don’t let him hear that.”
Ienzo laughed as well. “I won’t” he promised. “Are you my big brother?”
“I… don’t know.” It didn’t seem right. “Maybe we’re cousins, and Master Ansem is my uncle.” Was that right? It didn’t feel quite right, but it was close enough. “And Even is your father, but Even is not my family, he’s my friend.”
“Oh. Okay.” Ienzo giggled. “That’s confusing.”
“It is.” Xehanort smiled. “And now, since I’m apparently babysitting you now, I have to be responsible and tell both of us to go to bed.”
“Awww, come on!” Ienzo pouted. “You still have to read me a story!”
“Okay, I’ll read you one story. But after that you have to go to bed, okay?”
“Can I stay with you? I don’t want the nightmares to come back.”
Xehanort sighed. How was he supposed to say no to that? “You can stay.” He picked the book back up and turned the pages to the beginning of a story. “This story happened a long, long time ago” he began. “When the worlds were still one, and the Light ruled them all…”
By the time he finished the story, Ienzo had fallen asleep, curled up next to him. Xehanort put the book on his nightstand and turned the light off, then gently moved the child to the other side of the bed so he had just a little more space. Ienzo mumbled something in his sleep, and Xehanort smiled.
“Good night, Ienzo.”