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Marianne’s whole spine trembled as she wretched up the last of her breakfast. A cold sweat had broken over her brow, but the nausea began to subside again. Replaced instead by the pang of an empty stomach. How she wished this would end.
“You’re alright,” Khalid murmured gently. He had one hand on her back, rubbing circles as he helped her stand up. “This is only temporary. Morning sickness is normal.”
“Not this far in” Marianne sighed. She leaned against her husband’s arm as he guided her back towards the sitting room. When the nausea overtook her, Marianne had run from breakfast to the bathroom.
Khalid wrapped his arm around the back of her waist as they retraced their steps. “The doctor said you’re progressing well.”
Marianne looked down at the floor. Her lips pursed together in conflicted upset. He didn’t say them, but there were unspoken words hanging over them both.
She was progressing well… this time.
One of her hands drifted to her stomach. She had changed to maternity gowns weeks ago, to accommodate her growing abdomen. She was five months along, their baby growing like a heavy, ripe melon. But Marianne was filled with anxiety and worry. Twice before, she had been pregnant. Twice before she had lost the baby.
“Don’t,” Khalid whispered, leaning his head down to kiss the top of her head while they walked. “This is the farthest you’ve ever gotten. Everything looks fine. There’s no reason to worry.”
“Save for the fact that I can’t keep a meal down,” she reminded him.
Khalid fell silent. Even he could acknowledge how dangerous that was. If she were underweight when going into the labor, then there would only be more heartache.
“I know, love,” he whispered. “I know you’re scared…” Both of them stopped walking. They stood in the hallway of the palace, turning to face one another. Khalid brushed the back of his knuckles over her cheek, smiling a sad, hopeful smile as he looked deep into her eyes. Just like always, he could see the apprehension in her just by looking.
He had always been good at reading her.
Khalid’s palm came to cup her cheek and Marianne leaned into it. His other hand rubbed over the top of her belly. “It’s going to be ok. I’ve been doing research on this… You’ve never made it to five months before, and the chances of miscarraige are significantly lower this far in. You need to gain a little weight, true, but we can work on that, hm? My mother has plenty of ideas for what you can try. She says I was a horror when she was pregnant with me.”
Marianne couldn’t help but chuckle a bit. “I know… she’s told me the stories. She said that it was because of your crest. She… She thinks our baby must have a crest too.” And again, her eyes flickered down.
Khalid’s thumb caressed over the rise of her cheek. “Is that what worries you? You’re afraid the baby will have your crest?”
Marianne hesitated. Her throat felt tight and her eyes burned. She didn’t want to cry over something as silly as a this. Maurice had been dead for years, and the nightmares that plagued her childhood had faded ever since he was defeated. Her crest wasn’t the same curse that it used to be, but she still felt that cold drip of fear that their child might be like her.
Might have her anxieties. Her melancholy. Her bad luck. Her fears.
She had begun to wonder if her father felt this same fear when it became clear that she had the Crest of the Beast.
“Hey,” Khalid’s voice was warm and gentle. “Look at me…”
She brought her eyes back up, meeting his summer-green eyes.
“Marianne, I love you,” he reminded her. “More than anything else on this earth. I want our baby to take after you. I want it to have your compassion and your love for nature. I want our child to keep trying, no matter how many times they fall down, just like you did. If those things come with your crest, then I consider that a blessing.”
Marianne leaned forward, bumping her forehead against his. “I want it to have your eyes,” she added quietly.
Khalid chuckled, and his laugh, warm and low, made Marianne smile. He canted his lips forward to kiss her lips, and she leaned into his grasp as much as she could, until the hill of her belly bumped him. As if woken from a nap, they both felt the baby shift in her stomach, kicking up lightly against Khalid’s hand.
“Heh--” Khalid chuckled, looking down at the apex of her belly as he rubbed his hand overtop it. “Are you awake, little bird? Come to tell us that you have beautiful green eyes and your mother’s smile?”
Marianne laughed too, feeling the baby kick again. She liked feeling it shifting. Everyday that their baby kicked and moved was another day she knew it was alive. Growing strong to come into the world.
Khalid kissed her again before he stepped back. “I think our little bird is hungry,” he offered. “Why don’t we try to get a little food in you.”
Marianne sighed, the laughter fading from her lips. The thought alone of trying to eat a full meal made her feel queasy all over again. But she knew her husband was right. She had to eat. If not for her own healthy, then for the baby’s.
“Alright,” she nodded. “Maybe… just some rice porridge for now?” Milder foods usually went down easier.
“Whatever you think will stay down,” he agreed, shifting to stand at her side as they continued their walk back to the dining room. “I think my mother said that she chewed pumpkin seeds when she was pregnant?”
Marianne leaned her head on his shoulder and smiled as they walked. “I can like pumpkin seeds… I’ll give that a try.”