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Daniel walked into the office of Master Sergeant Francis Moore, Jack’s admin. adjutant, smiling at the sight of the tall, powerfully built man who was trying to cram himself into the small space under his desk, in an effort to untangle the mess of power cords and computer cables that seemed to have bred under there.
“Hello, Francis. Is he in, or should I just leave this with you?” he asked, waving the completed report on their last mission in his left hand.
Francis’s head popped up from under the desk, face grimacing as he savagely disconnected two computer cables. He opened his mouth to greet Doctor Jackson, only to be drowned out by an infuriated howl from the inner office.
“Moore! Now the whole thing’s gone. What the hell did you do?”
Francis gave Daniel a sickly sweet smile and said in an exaggeratedly polite tone, “Good morning, Doctor Jackson. Yes, the colonel is in. Please do go right on through.” He rammed the two cables back together and disappeared into the sanctuary under the desk.
Daniel moved on into Jack’s office, flopping down into the chair in front of the large wooden desk. He placed the thick report file on the desk and opened his mouth to greet Jack.
“Moore! I need the notes for the team leader’s briefing,” bellowed Jack.
Daniel shut his mouth with a click as the adjutant’s patient reply flew back through the open door, “Top tray, third folder, sir.”
“Got it! Hey, Daniel. All done?” Jack asked mildly.
Daniel gave him a bemused smile. “You do have an intercom you know,” he said, waving a finger at the shiny phone/com ensemble sitting forlornly at Jack’s elbow.
Jack’s eyebrows rose as he took a deep breath. “Your point being?” he huffed.
Daniel’s finger wove aimless loops in the air. “No point. Is that a new chair?”
Jack did not even try to keep the smug look from his face. “Like it? It’s real leather.” He settled back into the executive cushioning.
“It looks like General Hammond’s.” Daniel scowled at the look of annoyance on Jack’s face. “Jack, you didn’t steal the general’s chair did you?”
“No!” Jack felt a flush of irrational guilt. “He gave it to me, okay? The president gave him a new one, so I got this one. Simple.” Trust Daniel to make him feel self-conscious about a second-hand chair.
“Oh. Well, you look very, er, good… in it.” Daniel gave him a semi-confused smile.
“Hey, while you’re here, take a look at this. Just came off MALP re-con this morning.” Jack pushed a stack of glossy high-resolution photographs into Daniel’s hands.
The photos showed a fertile green valley stretching away from the Stargate platform. Tall sturdy trees rose over a hundred feet high, sheltering an abundance of vigorous shrubs and smaller trees beneath them. A clear blue sky and white puffy clouds made the planet inviting. No signs of native inhabitants were visible. Altogether, this new planet looked peaceful and unthreatening–with one exception. On the upper right side of the valley furthest away from the platform, a large swathe of land lay in total disarray. Trees were sheared in half or lying completely uprooted, undergrowth was a dead tangle of broken limbs and the ground itself was gouged open in wide brown slashes. Smaller evidence of damage was visible all along the valley floor, even up to the gate platform itself.
As Jack watched the frown form on Daniel’s brow he slid over a second batch of photographs. These were grid-sectioned shots from a UAV. They showed wide-angle and close-up views of a massive pile of metallic wreckage.
“Hammond ordered the UAV over the site last night. It’s about twenty klicks from the gate. It’s a ship of some kind. Looks like it crashed pretty hard. Carter’s going over the specs now, but she thinks it happened some time ago.”
“Wow. Any idea whose ship it was?” Daniel squinted at one of the photos, attempting to focus on one relatively intact part of the crumpled vessel.
“No, but we suspect it could be Asgard,” Jack replied.
“Really? Actually, this could be writing. Here, on this section,” Daniel pushed the picture towards Jack, finger pointing at one large piece of wreckage at the smaller end of the vessel.
Jack nodded in agreement. “See if Carter can blow it up any more. I’m gonna check in with Hammond.”
Å
SG-1 met with General Hammond in the briefing room several hours later. From Carter’s analysis of the UAV telemetry of the wreck and Daniel’s considered opinion that the visible writing was an Asgard script, Hammond had authorized a message to be sent to Thor. No more than thirty minutes later, Jack had disappeared from the commissary in a flash of white light, with a mouthful of stew and an indignant look on his face. Several seconds later his dinner tray followed after him. Now, the four team members sat at the briefing table with their commander and their Asgard guest.
Thor sat in his own chair-cum-throne at one end of the table. Looking away from the wrecked ship projected on the viewer, he blinked at them and said, “It is indeed an Asgard vessel. In fact, it is the Belisknor.”
A chorus of questions rose up in response. Teal’c’s deep timbre won out. “Was it not the Belisknor which crashed into Earth’s oceans earlier this year?” he asked.
Thor blinked in agreement, managing to convey a look of confusion without moving his facial muscles at all. “Yes, it was. Nevertheless, the name on the side of this vessel is the Belisknor. As the Asgard have no other vessels bearing this name, we are unable to explain the presence of this ship.”
Hammond looked equally confused. “Any ideas, people?”
A vague shrug came from Jack, a sorry-can’t-help-you look from Daniel and a polite yet negative shake of the head from Teal’c. All eyes turned to Carter. Once again she felt herself stepping out on a limb without a theoretical leg to stand on.
She pulled an apologetic face and said, “Sir, the only thing I can think of would be that this ship has somehow come from an alternate universe, but I can’t imagine anyone building a mirror device that would be able to transport something the size of an Asgard ship.”
“Well,” Jack chimed in, “perhaps the best thing would be to go take a look-see, sir. The UAV didn’t pick up any heat signatures on infrared, but there may be survivors somewhere.”
“Ah, sir, the MALP did pick up damage to the DHD. There’s a seventy percent possibility it won’t be able to function properly,” Carter said.
All eyes turned back to Thor as his soft voice spoke up, “We can transport you in our ship, O’Neill, and we would be grateful of your assistance.”
Hammond nodded his approval, sensing an opportunity to strengthen the ties with the Asgard people. “Very well, SG-1, you have a go.” He settled back in his chair, watching his people gather themselves together, not missing the quick look of delight on Doctor Jackson’s face as he realized he would finally get to go for a ride in an Asgard spaceship.
Å
The team materialized in a flash of light on the surface of the planet, Teal’c noting the look of pleased surprise on Daniel Jackson’s face. He felt pleased himself. Seeing Daniel relaxed and enjoying new experiences had not been a common occurrence during the last twelve months. Another flash deposited Thor and his team of Asgard technicians next to them, then another couple revealed the promised transport they would take to the crash site. The possibility of the transport beams inadvertently triggering undetected fuel or chemical leaks had deterred the Asgard from beaming down in the immediate vicinity of the crash. A small flat meadow nearly two miles from the crash site provided a perfect beam-in destination. Six two-person motorized vehicles stood ready and waiting. They were sturdy little all terrain vehicles, with a passenger seat behind the driver’s seat. Two of the ATVs had been modified to accommodate SG-1’s larger derrieres.
Carter let out a whoop and with a quick leap was seated on the nearest bike, happily revving the engine. O’Neill traded a careful, calculating look with Teal’c. The Asgard were already settling onto the vehicles, leaving only one more for the Tau’ri team. With a shrug and a wink Jack flung himself at the controls of the last bike, trying manfully to suppress a chuckle as Teal’c aborted his own leap and tried to look dignified whilst contemplating how to remove O’Neill from the driver’s seat. Realizing defeat, he then contemplated the runner’s up prize–a no doubt alarming but controlled ride behind Major Carter or an even more alarming and in all probability uncontrolled ride behind his team leader. Self-preservation won out and Teal’c moved swiftly to seat himself behind Major Carter.
Jack scowled at Teal’c and then cast around for his archaeologist. Daniel was still standing in the same place, now gazing open-mouthed at the revving vehicles, realizing he was doomed to cling to Jack on the back of what looked like an off-roader’s wet dream.
“Daniel, shake a leg. Time’s a-wasting! Let’s saddle up and move ‘em out!”
“Jack, are you sure you know how to drive one of those things? Maybe Teal’c…”
“Daniel! Get your butt over here or I’ll leave you behind.” Jack was getting antsy as Carter roared off in the wake of the Asgard who were already disappearing over the first hill.
Daniel sighed and settled himself gingerly onto the seat behind Jack. He had only seconds to clamp his hands around Jack’s waist before the colonel hit the accelerator and hit the high road.
“Jack, there’s no hurry, you know. Just a little slower would be goooooood………..”
Å
“Daniel?”
“Yes, Jack?”
“You can let go now, you know.”
“Why?”
“Well, nice as the cuddling is, we’re here. A fact you would know if you opened your eyes.”
“Oh. Sorry.”
“Hey, no problem. Enjoy the ride?”
“Oh, yeah! Just, for the trip back? I think I’ll walk.” Daniel cracked his eyes open and concentrated on unclenching his hands from their grip on Jack’s BDUs. He slid gracelessly off the back of the bike and staggered a few steps, trying to get his equilibrium back.
“It’s a couple of miles, Daniel.” Jack hopped off the bike with a bound, exhilarated and invigorated by the way the little bike had almost floated over the hills, especially the last one where they had actually left the ground. He grinned as Carter skidded to a halt, glaring at him with professional insubordination. Teal’c looked almost as shaky as Daniel. Jack made a mental note to take the team on an off-road trip when they got back.
Daniel ground his fists into his back in an effort to realign his spine. He looked at Jack with his satisfied grin. The man loved new toys. “I like walking, Jack,” he replied. “Or at least I used to. Don’t know if I’ll ever walk in a straight line again, though.”
“Ah, suck it up, Danny.” Jack turned to look properly at their goal. “Whoa. Get a load of that.”
The wreck of the Asgard ship lay before them, spread out over the floor of the valley they stood in and halfway up the side of the hill they had just driven down. The front third of the vessel had borne the brunt of the impact and had shattered into huge jagged pieces. The remaining two-thirds had broken into three large sections and sat relatively intact on the ground. A huge swathe of burnt grasslands ran away up the hills on the far side of the ship, indication of the devastation caused by the crash.
The Asgard personnel had spread out towards the wreck, sensors scanning for signs of life. Jack signalled his team to move out. They separated, moving down along the length of the vessel. The silence in the valley was eerie, no bird-calls or sounds of animal movement could be heard. For nearly thirty minutes they walked through the smaller pieces of wreckage, peering into the interior through cracks in the hull. While the Asgard checked for radiation leaks, the four humans kept to the outside. Repeated calls brought no answer from survivors.
Teal’c noticed a formation of wreckage up on one side of the hill that seemed too regulated to have been created by falling debris. Angling away from the ship, his large stride quickly took him up to the site. There he found row upon row of mostly flat, broken pieces of hull plating arranged side by side. Drag marks leading from the ship told him someone had hauled the pieces there, but any footprints were long since obliterated by the weather.
Kneeling down next to one of the metal scraps, Teal’c lifted it to one side. Beneath was bare earth that showed signs of having been disturbed in the recent past. Casting his eye once again down the rows of metal he knew he was standing on the hallowed ground of a burial site. Respectfully, Teal’c lifted the metal plating back into position and moved away to the side of the graves. If each piece of metal represented a grave then many dozens of the ship’s crew were buried here. Which meant someone had survived to bury them.
Teal’c reached for his radio, turning his attention to his teammates down by the vessel’s side.
“O’Neill, I have found what appear to be the graves of the ship’s crew,” he reported over the open channel the team had been chatting to each other on.
He could see O’Neill halt and turn to locate him, his hand reaching up to his radio to respond. Before he could reply, a shout was heard coming from the furthest section of the wreck. Teal’c observed O’Neill swing back toward the sound, P-90 lifting in his grip. Major Carter also was focusing on the sound, jumping down from the engine block she had scaled, weapon lifting and seeking possible hostiles. Daniel Jackson reacted to the newcomer in an entirely different manner. As Teal’c ran down the hill to back up his team he observed the archaeologist had halted in his path, his digital camera slipping unnoticed to the ground. Daniel was much closer to the person who had appeared out of a crack in the ship’s side, and able to see their features quite clearly. O’Neill was ordering him to stay put and wait for them but Teal’c could see the words had no effect on Daniel Jackson as he began to move; nimbly dodging and leaping debris, he began to run towards the person.
“Damn it, Daniel! Stop and wait for backup. We don’t know it’s not a hostile. Daniel!!” Jack let out a string of muttered curses as he sped up in a vain attempt to catch Daniel before he intercepted the person who had appeared. Peripheral vision told him Carter was just behind him and Teal’c was angling down the hillside to join them, but none of them would reach Daniel before he got to this unknown person. It probably was just a survivor but Jack never took anything at face value.
He took another lungful of air, preparing to give Daniel another blast, when Carter called out, “Sir, cut the chatter!”
Automatically, Jack fell silent, leaving the open radio channel to fill their ears with a soft litany of denial. Daniel’s voice surrounded them, breathless and broken from running, filled with an agony they had heard only very rarely from him.
“No, no, no. Not happening. This is not real. Can’t be you. No. Uh… Damn, not you… not real… no, no, Gods, ow… Oh, please, don’t do this…”
Alarmed, Jack bellowed into the radio, “DANIEL. STOP. NOW.”
To his astonishment, Daniel skidded to a halt and stood frozen, eyes riveted to the person clambering towards him. As the others gained on him they could see it was a woman, wearing long red robes, which she held hiked up around her knees. Climbing with some difficulty over a long broken piece of engine, she called again, her voice filled with her desperate need to make contact with another human being. She slid down the side of the engine cowling, leaping up eagerly to resume her scramble to them, only to be yanked backwards by her robes as they became firmly snagged on the jagged metal. Turning her back on her rescuers she pulled frantically at the material, letting loose a stream of melodic sounding curses. Jack, Sam and Teal’c converged on Daniel, hands reaching out to him to prevent any further impetuous advances. The face he turned to them left them stunned. Brow furrowed furiously, Daniel’s face was scrunched up in a desperate attempt to control his tumbling emotions.
Jack grabbed his shoulders and forced Daniel to focus on his own face. “Daniel? What? Talk to me.”
Daniel opened his mouth but could only emit a strangled gasp, his eyes drawn over Jack’s shoulder to the woman standing twenty feet away, battling with her clothing.
“Sham-hut!!” The woman swore viciously, drawing the attention of her would-be rescuers. Teal’c and Sam hurried over to her, reaching down to pull the hem of her robe from the grasp of the engine cowling.
The sound of her voice cut through Jack’s awareness, sending a cold shiver racing up his spine and over his scalp. Surely not, he thought. He looked into Daniel’s eyes and the look of utter despair and horror he saw there told him everything he needed to know. Keeping a grip on Daniel’s arm he turned to see Carter and Teal’c step back in astonishment as they too recognized the survivor.
Å
Finally free from the grasping metal, Sha’re of Nagada turned to face her rescuers. For four lunar cycles she had been stranded on this planet, living in the shattered remains of the Asgard ship, the ghosts of the dead her only company. She had been sleeping when the strange, sure feeling that she was no longer alone had crept into her consciousness. Cautiously she had crept to the outside of the ship and true to her insight there were people moving through the wreckage, people who looked to be wearing uniforms of the Tau’ri and in the distance a group of smaller beings who could only be Asgard.
Relieved beyond belief, Sha’re called and waved and scrambled through obstacles to reach these wonderful people, irrationally certain they would turn around and leave without her. As her calls caught the attention of the four humans and the male nearest her had begun to run towards her, she moved faster, every obstacle in her path seeming determined to reach out and delay her. So focused on her path was she that the feeling of familiarity with these people did not really register in her mind. All she knew was she had to reach them, touch another person, be sure they were real and in turn be assured that she was real and the nightmare of her solitude was at an end.
Her robes held high in a most undignified manner, she slid down the final obstacle, took one step forward and was jerked to a halt. Infuriated, she turned and hurled abuse at the offending engine daring to delay her. Vision tunnelling to that scrap of metal piercing her robes, she was barely aware of two sets of hands, one slim and pale, the other large and dark, coming to her aid and setting her free. Delight surged within her at her sudden freedom. Sha’re whipped around, her eyes finally seeing the faces of her rescuers.
The face of her love.
The blue eyes that haunted her waking and sleeping dreams.
The body that had held her, comforted her, loved her.
Her soul mate. The beautiful guiding spirit that had sustained her in her darkest times.
The man she had seen executed before her horrified eyes.
Her husband.
Dan’yel.
A heart wrenching sob left Sha’re’s lips as she flung herself at Daniel. Automatically he opened his arms and caught her to him. Shocked, his brain unwilling to form a coherent thought, Daniel found himself overwhelmed with sense memories; the feel of her soft curls brushing his chin, her hands clutching desperately at his back, her body fitting against his the way it always had. The indefinable scent of her that spoke to him of desert sands, cold dark nights, impish laughter and enduring love. He closed his eyes. For one timeless moment he was transported back to the home they had shared, to the time when everything they had ever wanted was found in each other’s arms, to the time when the future before them held the promise of a lifetime of love and peace and belonging. For just a moment, the nightmare his life had become ceased to exist.
But not everything was as it had been. Small differences began to intrude on Daniel’s consciousness. The feel of the body in his arms was different to the way his wife had felt. Bones too prominent, muscles less defined, flesh thinner in places and fuller in others. The scent was different, too. Still the same heady wonderful mix that announced this was Sha’re, yet with a subtle change to it now.
Frowning, Daniel pulled his face up from where it had buried itself in her hair and with an effort that was painful to witness, he gazed at the face of the woman he held. Sha’re. It was most certainly Sha’re. And yet, not.
Sha’re looked up at him, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her beautiful brown eyes searched his features, initial joy fading to confusion and then consternation. Gently she touched his cheek, running her hand back to slide through his short hair.
“Dan’yel? Husband?”
The sound of her voice cut through Daniel’s soul like ice. Gently he pulled away from her, his hands reaching to clasp hers. Giving them a final squeeze he let her go and stepped back. Sadly, he shook his head. Aware of the silent presence of his friends he tried to capture his scattered wits and articulate a little of what he was feeling.
“No. Um, you know, I… I just… No.” Daniel’s face scrunched into a furious scowl as he tried desperately to push away the sorrow that was threatening to surge out of him. “I’m sorry. Really, I’m so sorry, but I can’t. I just can’t.”
Daniel stepped back a couple of paces, not daring to meet the eyes of Jack or Teal’c or Sam. One look from them would acknowledge this situation was actually real, and he was not prepared to face that. Not now. Maybe not ever. Best to leave now before too much was said, before the hurt was magnified a thousandfold. He stared at her face one last time, the memory ingraining forever into that special place in his heart where she resided. He gave her a sad little half smile.
“Bye.”
Daniel turned and walked away.
Å
“Bye?”
Jack gaped at Daniel’s retreating form. Back stiff, the archaeologist moved with rapid, determined strides away from yet another heartache. Daniel was halfway up the hill before Jack could turn to trade glances with Carter and Teal’c. They too, were watching their friend try, probably in vain, to separate himself from the pain of coming face to face with his dead wife. Who was not really his wife. Yet in a way she was. She was also quite alive. And suffering equally.
A small sigh brought the three soldier’s attention back to Sha’re as she sagged to the ground. She sat in the grass, hands clenched in her lap, looking lost and vulnerable. Her eyes stayed riveted to Daniel’s back, watching the man with her husband’s face flee the unwitting hurt her thoughtless actions had caused. The all-too-brief moment in his arms, the look of despair on his face told her all she needed to know–the Daniel Jackson of this reality had loved the Sha’re of this reality–and lost her.
“I should not have done that,” she said softly. “I did not wish to cause him grief. But–I could not help myself. To see him again, so alive, I forgot for a moment where I was.”
Jack pulled his radio up to his mouth, watching as Daniel reached the summit of the hill. “Daniel, stay in visual, okay?”
Daniel halted obediently on the hill’s crest. Still as an Easter Island statue he remained there, staring off into the valley beyond, hands lax at his sides.
Jack turned his attention back to the woman at his feet, catching the surreptitious confirmation from Carter that there was no Goa’uld present in this Sha’re. Still keeping half an eye on Daniel, Jack hunkered down and took a good look at the sad woman. She was undoubtedly Sha’re–the same warm brown eyes, long curly black hair framing a sweet face. But she was very different from the laughing young woman who had offered first water and then her heart to a very out of his depth archaeologist, just a few years ago. Thinner, older, wiser and made weary by grief, this woman still had the inner fire that had helped spark a rebellion.
“Sha’re?” Jack asked quietly. “You want to tell us how you ended up here?”
Her brown eyes turned to him, lighting up momentarily at seeing another familiar, friendly face. Then her gaze moved beyond him, widening in an odd mix of sadness and happiness.
Turning his head, Jack observed Thor making his way into their little circle. Standing, he moved back to stand next to Teal’c.
“What has occurred, O’Neill?” Thor asked.
Jack looked down at the Asgard leader, catching as he did, the set-in-stone appearance of Teal’c’s face. “Oh, just another little human drama. Thor, may I present Sha’re, formerly of Abydos, daughter of Kasuf, sister of Skaara and I’m guessing wife of one Daniel Jackson.”
Sha’re reached out and clutched Thor’s hand. “I knew you would be alive here. I held his hand as he died. He was such a caring person.”
Thor’s eyes widened at her words. “The crew of the Belisknor all perished in the crash?” he asked.
Sha’re shook her head sadly. “Many did, but those who survived began to suffer terribly not two nights after the crash. Their bodies… began to break down. They could do nothing to stop it. Within a few more days they were all gone.” Her gaze drifted up to the burial site on the hill. “I could do nothing but lay them to rest and say the words for their spirits.”
“I thank you for your efforts for our counterparts,” said Thor. His long fingered hand patted Sha’re’s.
To one side, Carter grimaced. “Entropic cascade failure, sir.”
Sha’re looked up curiously. “The Asgard scientists said it was caused by our presence in a reality that is not our own. They reasoned that I did not have a counterpart in this reality. They did all they could to ensure my survival, before their deaths. They were very brave,” she whispered.
Silence fell over the gathering, their thoughts filled with visions of the Asgard crew, stranded and faced with a gruesome, shattering death.
Jack cleared his throat. “Carter, get a fire going. We could all do with something hot, I think.”
As Carter acknowledged him and began to dig into her pack, Jack turned to Teal’c. The impression of a stone face had gone, replaced by a sad mixture of guilt, grief and regret. Teal’c’s eyes never left Sha’re, seeming to drink in the sight of this small, defenceless woman; the mirror image of the woman he had killed. Wordlessly, Jack patted Teal’c’s shoulder.
The smell of wood smoke began to fill the air, drifting from the small fire Carter had got going to heat up canned soup for them all. Jack offered his water canteen to Sha’re, then turned to check on Daniel once more.
Daniel was still standing in the same spot. No longer motionless, his head was lowered, shaking back and forth as if arguing with himself. As Jack watched, Daniel lifted his face to gaze at the sky and then slowly, gracefully, crumpled to his knees.
“Damn.”
“Sir?” Carter stepped over to him, offering two mugs of steaming soup. Her gaze followed his to where their friend sat, suffering.
“Thanks, Carter.” Jack looked at her, noting the concern in her eyes. “I’ll go…” Turning to Sha’re, he asked, “Sha’re, do you think you’re up to telling us what happened?”
Sha’re looked up at him, the familiar face comforting in this confusing day. “I am, O’Neill.”
“Okay, I’ll just be over there.” He gestured towards Daniel with a mug of soup. “I can hear what you’re saying, so… take your time.”
Å
The wind had picked up slightly, a gentle breeze coming up over the crest of the hill, carrying the scent of warm grasses and spring flowers. Jack plodded up the hill, trying not to spill the soup, his mind an annoying blank as he tried and failed to come up with something to say to Daniel. What can a guy say to someone who has just been presented with the living incarnation of his beloved, dead, wife? The wife O’Neill had promised to find for him. And failed. Damn. The fact Sha’re was alive in another reality was probably due to some other O’Neill actually keeping his promise. Double damn.
He came up next to Daniel, biting off the quip about Daniel ruining his knees if he continued to sit on them like that. Silently, he placed the mugs on the ground and sat down next to his friend. A few minutes futzing with his weapon and radio, then searching for his sunglasses, adjusting his cap and making himself comfortable. Settled, he sighed and looked out over the valley, noting the scars on the landscape from the crashed vessel behind them.
Next to him, Daniel stirred and sat down properly, folded his legs and picked up his soup. Together they sipped in silence. Jack could hear soft mutterings from the group below, over his earpiece. Sneaking a look to his side he noticed Daniel’s earpiece dangling down the front of his vest.
Frowning, he took another sip. “Huh. Tastes like… tomato!”
Daniel peered into his mug in surprise. “Oh. I think Sam’s supplementing the rations.”
“Huh, needs a little seasoning, though,” Jack pondered.
“A few herbs would be nice.”
“A little oregano?”
“A touch of basil, perhaps?”
“Some fresh chives.”
“A sprinkling of ground black pepper.”
Daniel’s soft, sad voice belied the banality of the banter between the two. Once again stuck for words, he continued sipping the soup in silence–the enormity of the situation behind them a hovering shadow in his mind that he could not yet openly acknowledge.
Jack fished out a couple of packs of crackers and tossed one into Daniel’s lap.
Nodding to the dangling earpiece, Jack said, “She’s gonna tell us what happened. If you want to listen in…”
Daniel frowned, then nodded and replaced the earpiece.
Softly, Jack spoke into his radio, “All set, Carter.”
Like another scent carried on the warm breeze, Sha’re’s voice reached out to them.
Å
“Apophis took me. Picked me out of the crowd as he would a ripe fruit. All he saw was a vessel for the demon-spawn he called his queen. He took me from my home, my Dan’yel. Put that buk’yah in my body and in my mind. For a little more than two of our years I was a prisoner inside my own body. How I screamed and cursed. She took no notice. After awhile I found I could torment her a little, myself. It was a small victory. They gave me a child, and then took him from me. I was never even allowed to hold him. Then one day Amonet took us to Nagada and found my baby. She took my father and many of the people as hostages. She planned to use the boy to challenge the other System Lords. She sent my baby away, hidden somewhere safe. I never saw him again.
“Dan’yel and the Tau’ri warriors followed my father’s trail and did battle with my demon’s Jaffa. Many died. Dan’yel came after me; he wanted to free me. Amonet tried to kill him with the Ninvan’etak, the ribbon weapon. Teal’c came up behind her and used a little weapon given him by the Asgard, to stun the demon in me. My Dan’yel scooped me up and carried me to the Chappa’ai.
“He spoke to me the whole time. I was so happy to hear his voice again after so long apart. He took me to a planet protected by Thor, Cimmeria it was called. The moment he stepped out of the Chappa’ai we were swept away by a bright beam of light. We were deposited in a dark, wet cavern. The voice of Thor told my demon she would not be able to leave. Dan’yel stunned her again with the little weapon, and carried me through the caves to the end where Thor’s Hammer stood.”
The soft, emotionless voice faltered, a slight smile drifting across Sha’re’s impassive face. “Dan’yel told me I must be brave, to face one last moment of pain, and then I would be free. He held me in the Hammer’s clutches, and through my screams and the demon’s screams I could hear him, telling me over and over that he loved me and would always love me, that we would live free together, forever.
“And then it was over, I felt the demon die inside me and I could reach out and kiss my husband with my own lips, hold him in my own arms and wipe away his tears with my own fingers. O’Neill, Samantha, Teal’c and the good people of that world met us on the mountainside. They took us home, first to Abydos and our father and brother, then to Earth, Dan’yel’s world. We lived freely and so happily. But only for a short time. Two of Earth’s months later Apophis struck Abydos in retaliation for the death of his queen. He killed our father and Skaara and many, many of our people. Then he took his ships and came to Earth. He attacked many cities, in defiance of the System Lord’s treaty with the Asgard. He came to the mountain where the Chappa’ai was. Where we were.”
Sha’re’s face had returned to its unemotional façade, her tone equally repressed. “The Tau’ri warriors fought hard and well, but there were too many Jaffa to overcome. Samantha and Teal’c fell in the battle. O’Neill, my Dan’yel and myself were captured. Apophis paraded us in front of his troops and as an example to all who would defy him… he… he executed… O’Neill… and then… my Dan….”
Horrified, eyes brimming with sympathy for what Sha’re had witnessed, Sam turned away, focusing fiercely on the bright sky above them, trying to shake the images her mind was supplying from the sad narrative. Teal’c, too, turned his attention from the woman before him, grimly wishing a plague on each and every Apophis of every reality. Thor settled himself beside Sha’re and gently patted her hand, his wide eyes blinking unspoken support.
After a moment, Sha’re continued. No tears stained her face. She had cried an ocean of tears for her lost love and simply could not find the energy any more.
“The demon lord took me and promised to implant me once more, this time with a spawn who was half insane and would promise unending torture to me. But he was too self-absorbed, too confident that he had succeeded in attacking the protected planets. Not a day out from Earth, the Asgard tracked him and attacked. There was a battle in space, most terrible. Many of the demon’s ships were destroyed. During the battle the Asgard were able to use their sensors to find me in the cells and they transported me onto their ship–the Belisknor. Apophis was enraged. He used a weapon against us. I don’t know what it was but Thor said all the races outlawed it. It hit our ship and enveloped everything in a terrible white light. There was a shrieking, screaming noise and collision that threw everyone to the ground. When the light was gone we found we were in the grip of a planet’s gravity. This planet. The ship was too badly damaged to return to space, even to control our descent. Thor… Thor said after all I had suffered, he was determined I would survive. He placed me in a stasis chamber, while all the Asgard worked desperately to save the ship. It crashed. As you can see. Many were killed. Thor revived me and we worked very hard to tend to the injured.
“The ship was damaged beyond repair. All the systems were burned out by the wave of energy that hit us. We could not even signal anyone for help. After a couple of nights the first person began to experience the cascade failure. Soon everyone was suffering from it. Except me. Thor believed we had been thrown into another universe; one very like our own and that they could not survive if their alternates already lived in this universe. Within days they had all died, most painfully. I buried them up on the hill. I said the words of my people for them; I did not know the proper words of the Asgard. I hope it was correct to do that?”
Inquiringly she looked to Thor who blinked back at her and nodded. “The souls of our people will rest easily with your blessings, dear one,” he replied.
Reassured, Sha’re took a deep breath and finished her tale.
“After a few days I began to explore this world. I walked four days out from the ship in all directions, but found no people here. I did find the Chappa’ai but it will not work. There is a broken piece of the Belisknor embedded in the symbol machine’s crystal. I came back here and made a space to live in the ship. Thor and the crew had brought all of their supplies out of storage and there is food to be found in the fields around us. That is the end of my story.”
Sha’re straightened her back and looked at the three people around her, at the reflections of her own feelings of grief and dismay at the loss of lives her tale had revealed. For herself, she no longer felt such powerful emotions. They had drained away from her many days ago, unable as she was to maintain the strength to keep them alive. Now she existed in a kind of blank acceptance. What had happened, had happened. There was only one thing that concerned her now.
Å
Daniel jerked his earpiece out almost in disgust. Frowning, he looked out over the valley before them, the visions of death, destruction and loss conjured by Sha’re’s words playing vividly in his imagination. Surely there must be at least one reality where that parasite has not ruined all our lives. Just one, where we could live the life we should have had.
Shaking his head, he looked over at Jack who appeared equally disturbed.
“Damn snakes,” Jack muttered.
“She’s lost so much, Jack. Everything, everyone,” Daniel sighed. “Skaara, Kasuf, her child, her… husband. Huh,” he gave a choked laugh. “Even her own universe. She needs help… and I have absolutely no idea how to help her. I can’t replace the man she married, even if we are identical. She lost him, grieved for him–I can no more walk into her life and assume his role than she can take the place of my… wife.” His voice trailed off, hands flapping uselessly in front of him.
Jack looked over at Daniel. “Her experiences were pretty close to what your Sha’re went through. Should give you both enough common ground if you wanted to, you know, pick up your relationship again.”
Daniel shook his head determinedly. “No. No, I couldn’t. It feels like I’d be betraying Sha’re to even think of it… to just suddenly have a wife again, it would be like I was negating everything my wife suffered. And that’s assuming that this Sha’re would consent to me. I couldn’t ask her to and I don’t think she would ask it of me–if she’s anything like my girl, that is.”
“No, I guess she wouldn’t. Well, don’t worry. We’ll take her back to base and see if we can find somewhere she’ll be happy to live. Maybe Kasuf?”
“Kasuf? God, how am I going to tell him and Skaara?” Daniel felt his grip on this reality was beginning to unravel. “Hello, Good Father. Here is your daughter, only she’s not your daughter because she died, but this one is a carbon copy from another reality. Can you take her in please, because I don’t think I can quite cope with seeing her beautiful face every day… knowing I couldn’t save our Sha’re but somewhere, in some other universe was a Daniel Jackson who did save his wife.”
Jack patted Daniel’s tense shoulder, wordless comfort the easiest to offer at the moment. He too was feeling somewhat inadequate in the face of the achievements of that other SG-1. Teal’c must be feeling pretty low, too. However, the other SG-1 was dead now, so… What was the point he was trying to make again?
Soft voices over the earpiece told Jack that Carter, Teal’c and Thor were trying their best to cheer up Sha’re. Squeezing Daniel’s shoulder he said, “Nobody expects you to take care of this, Daniel. Sha’re least of all, I’m sure. Just step back and let us handle it. No one will think any the less of you.”
Daniel was shaking his head again, fists clenching on his knees. “How did my life get so bizarre, Jack? This can’t be normal.” He lifted his face, gazing at Jack with confused and pain-filled eyes. “Was the last year real, or did I just dream it? Like that episode of Dallas? She’s gone and now she’s here–did she die or did I dream it?”
Sadly, Jack said, “No, it wasn’t a dream. Wish it were. Besides, your life isn’t bizarre–it’s just a little… above normal.”
“Above normal?” Daniel laughed. “Jack, we spend our days travelling to other planets. My relatives by marriage live on another planet. We’re fighting an enemy the entire population of our planet knows nothing about. We’re uncovering untold wealth in linguist, historic, cultural and scientific fields and we can’t tell anyone. That’s bizarre, Jack, by anyone’s standards.”
“Why, Stanley, I do believe you’re right,” Jack found a smile creeping up his cheeks. “Seriously, though Daniel, just step away from this.”
Daniel’s reply was so soft Jack almost missed hearing it. “She’s pregnant, Jack.”
“What?” Jack’s face was almost comic with astonishment. “How can you possibly know that?”
Daniel opened his mouth to answer and found himself asking the same question. “I, I don’t know, actually. It’s just something I knew, as soon as I held her.” He scowled at himself. “Some instinctive feeling? Or, maybe a sense memory. I had a flashback to my Sha’re, when I found her in Kasuf’s tent, just before Shifu was born.” He looked at Jack, haplessly foundering in a confusion of emotions. “It’s very intangible, but at the same time it feels completely irrefutable.”
Daniel looked away from Jack and fixed his gaze on the horizon, failing completely to register the beauty of the landscape bathed in golden afternoon sun. His first instinct was to run and gather Sha’re up in his arms and never let her go and at the same time run as far and fast as he could in the opposite direction and never have to face this situation. He wanted to pretend this was his wife and the life they dreamed of could actually resume its course. He wanted to be able to continue on with the new path his life was now taking; finally coming to terms with his grief and moving on towards a productive and fulfilling, if lonely, life. He wanted someone else to shoulder this burden and he wanted no one else to have a say in the lives of Daniel and Sha’re. He wanted an aspirin. A big one.
Jack realized he was gaping at Daniel like the village idiot. He closed his jaw and for the lack of a better idea, dialled up the volume of his radio, trying to think of a diplomatic way to have Carter and Teal’c check for news on the baby front.
Sha’re’s soft accent filled his ear. “… somewhere quiet to live. I would not ask your Dan’yel to take responsibility for me. He has suffered enough, I am sure. All I ask is a quiet little place to live and raise my child in peace.”
Huh. Well. There you go.
“Your child?” Teal’c could be heard asking quietly.
Carter managed to sound delighted and horrified at the same time. “Sha’re, you’re pregnant?”
“Yes, Samantha. I bear my husband’s child. We did not even know when… when he died. The demon denied us even that small pleasure.” Sha’re’s voice held the same flat, worn out emotion Jack had heard in Daniel’s, the first couple of months after his wife’s death.
“I shall go and arrange for a more comfortable method of conducting you to our transportation site, Sha’re of Nagada,” Thor’s quiet voice offered.
“Thank you, Thor. You have been most kind.”
Carter’s voice filled Jack’s ear. “Ah, sir? We seem to have another aspect to the situation.”
Jack flicked the send switch on his radio. “Yeah, Carter. I read you. Why don’t you and Teal’c see if you can help Sha’re gather up anything she wants to take with her. I’m guessing Thor will be happy to return us to base now and then they can come back and play with the wreck later?”
“Yes, sir. Thor has already indicated as much.”
Teal’c’s soft baritone joined the open channel. “O’Neill, is Daniel Jackson aware of Sha’re’s condition?”
“Yeah, Teal’c. He is.” A swift glance to the side showed Daniel was now sitting with his eyes closed, brow furrowed enough to plant crops in, focusing on nothing and thinking about everything. “He already guessed, actually.”
“Indeed?” Teal’c sounded hardly surprised, his faith in Daniel’s abilities and intelligence apparently extending even to the realms of precognition.
Jack heard Sha’re asking a question in the background. Teal’c relayed the query. “Sha’re asks if Daniel Jackson fares well, O’Neill.”
Another side-glance; nope, no clue there. “Think so, Teal’c. We’ll join you in ten. O’Neill out.”
Setting the radio back to receive, Jack picked up the empty soup mugs and stowed the cracker packages in his BDU pockets. “Daniel? You good to go?”
Daniel shook his head, eyes still closed, brow still creased. “Jack, I don’t think I can do this.”
Slightly surprised at Daniel’s apparent unwillingness to even face this Sha’re again, Jack thought about shuttling Daniel back on board the Belisknor before the rest of them. It was a big ship–plenty of room to avoid someone for a few days voyage back to Earth. There was no way he was leaving him here on this planet with the Asgard. Hammond would pop a gasket for sure.
“Okay. Well, how about you head on over to Thor and get him to take you back to the rendezvous point while we pack things up here?”
“No.”
“No?”
Daniel turned to look Jack squarely in the face. He felt as if he were being torn in two; one side seething with emotions, both elation and terror, the other side a complete numb blankness that refused to even consider the situation properly. How could he even contemplate another relationship with this Sha’re? Yes, it could be so wonderful, but if he lost her again he would surely lose his mind. The mere thought of suffering that kind of loss again made him want to crawl into the nearest tomb and never come out again. And yet, the thought that she was now alive and so near made him want to crush her to him, love her forever and never let go.
“Jack, I can’t… I can’t…” Can’t form a coherent sentence.
The look of sympathetic understanding on Jack’s face was touching. Jack patted him on the shoulder and rose to his feet.
“I know. It’s okay. We’ll work something out.”
Daniel reached out and grabbed Jack’s forearm. Pinning his friend with his gaze, Daniel stood up.
“Jack. I can’t walk away.” The moment the words left his lips Daniel knew his path was chosen, and it was the right one. For better or worse, he would make some sort of overture to Sha’re, then leave the decision to her. To do nothing would be a regret that would follow him his entire life, and there were already too many of those in his heart.
Jack arched his eyebrows at him, plainly asking: are you sure?
Daniel replied with a scrunch of his face and tilt of his head while a hand began to flap about of its own accord: no, but this is something I have to do.
Jack acquiesced with a shrug of his own and made a shooing motion with his weapon. Together they headed down the hill; Daniel hoping this decision would not bring more heartache for Sha’re and splintered pieces of his psyche for Jack to pick up–Jack hoping that maybe once, just once, the fates of this or whatever universe that mattered would provide a happy ending for his friend.
Å
Teal’c met them at the gash in the ship’s side that served as entryway to the area where Sha’re had lived for the past four months. Gently clutching the tied shawl that held Sha’re’s meagre belongings, he greeted his teammates.
“O’Neill, Daniel Jackson.”
“Teal’c. Everything okay in there?” Jack asked, quickly assessing the Jaffa’s mood. Teal’c seemed to be handling his emotions with his usual equanimity, but Jack made a mental note to have a chat with him when they got back to base. It couldn’t be easy–even for a Jaffa–to come face to face with a living replica of someone whom you had killed.
“It is,” Teal’c replied. “Major Carter is assisting Sha’re within. I do believe she will be glad to depart this place.”
Jack wrinkled his nose at the dark, forbidding corridors leading into the vessel. “I’ll bet.”
Daniel spoke up quietly from behind Jack. “Teal’c, could you show us to where Sha’re is, please? I need to speak with her before we go.”
Teal’c nodded in quiet understanding, turned and led the way through the hull plating. Switching on their mag-lights the three men moved carefully along a narrow path that wound through the debris, into a wider hallway. A short distance along the hallway they stopped at the open door to one of the rooms. Reflections of flickering light and muted voices indicated this was where Sha’re had endured her isolation.
Hovering in the doorway, Jack called to his 2IC. “Carter? You want to step outside for a moment, please?”
Sam looked up from where she had been sitting on the bed next to Sha’re, embarrassed to feel relief at the interruption. Sha’re had been showing her the items she had scavenged from the wreckage to use as utensils, both of them awkwardly chatting about the weather and cooking and trying not to stray into emotional topics.
Sam patted Sha’re on the knee and moved out into the hallway. As she passed Daniel she gave him a reassuring nod and briefly touched his arm before following the colonel and Teal’c.
Hesitantly, Daniel walked into Sha’re’s room, the gentle light from several braziers dotted about giving the place a warm, homey feel. Sha’re was sitting on the bed in the centre of the room, resolutely watching him. For a moment both were silent, eyes drinking in the once-lost features of their loved ones. Sha’re smiled that shy half-smile that had captivated him when he had first met his wife and patted the bed beside her, asking him to sit.
As he settled beside her, silence lying heavily between them, he noticed the colours of her robes were almost the same shades as the ones his nervously determined bride had worn on the evening she had been presented to him.
“Seekhm?” Her voice, so familiar yet so strange to his ears, made him jump.
The child? Shifu…
Replying in Abydonian he said, “Shifu is safe. He’s living with a very wonderful, very powerful being called Oma Desala. She will protect him from the Goa’uld.”
Sha’re frowned. “Shifu? I would have named him Seni.”
“He who smiles? That’s a nice name.” Daniel smiled, memories of chubby fingers grasping his t-shirt flooding to the surface.
Silence descended once more. The wind moaned through the empty ship, almost as if it were declaring this place belonged to the ghosts of the dead, that they should leave their past lives here and move on.
“Dan’yel, this is most difficult,” Sha’re sighed. Looking him in the eye, she gently stroked his cheek. “You are not him, are you? He is gone. What has happened, has happened.”
Daniel caught her fingers in his, smiling sadly at her. “No, no I’m not him. And you’re not her. We’ve both lived separate lives, and what has passed, has passed. Where we go from here… I don’t know, but I do know that neither of us can make-believe that what they suffered through, what we have suffered through didn’t happen. It did happen. That time is gone. This is our time, now.” He stared intently at her, wondering if his confusing words were conveying what he was feeling inside.
Sha’re straightened a little, her chin coming up, determination showing in her face that she would not be held down by misery any more. Her eyes sparkled as she spoke, “It is time to start living.”
“Yes! Exactly!” Daniel was suddenly delighted. This Sha’re, like his dear wife, seemed to know how to pick the meaning out of his disconnected ramblings. An odd feeling fluttered through him, something like hope? Expectation? He wasn’t sure, but it felt good. Gently placing her hand in her lap, he rose to his feet and strode over to the open door. Catching a brief glimpse of his team loitering a good fifty feet down the hall, he turned and looked at the woman before him.
The soft firelight shone in her dark curls. Her small, pixie face was bemused, brown eyes glinting with a touch of humour at him. His heart caught for a moment as he recalled how it had been so easy to fall in love the first time. He moved a few paces, then dropped to one knee in front of her.
Reverting to English, he introduced himself, “Hello. I’m Daniel.” He brought one hand up to his chest and tapped his breast. “Daniel.” He enunciated carefully, mimicking his first meeting so long ago with a beautiful, scared young woman.
Sha’re’s smile rose across her face like the dawning sun. The shadows of the past fell away as Daniel’s offer of a new beginning brought joy to her heart. Shaking, she raised her hand to her own breast, tapped her heart and replied, “Sh… Sha’uri.”
Daniel’s eyes widened at the gift of her maiden name. In one word she told him that the past was indeed the past, that no substitutes would be allowed and from this moment on two splintered hearts had a chance to mend.
~*~
Had we never loved so kindly,
Had we never loved so blindly,
Never met or never parted,
We had ne’er been broken hearted.
Robert Burns.
Ae Fond Kiss.
~~~~~*~~~~~