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The interview was going smoothly. They talk about hockey, they talk about being out. Until the final question, which the interviewer prefaces with, "This question is never relevant, but always entertaining: Who was your first crush?"
Kent immediately buries his face in his hands. "Ohmygod, this is so embarrassing!"
"If you say my father..." Jack threatens, emptily.
Kent groans, "Worse."
Jack clearly doesn't know what could be worse. "...If you say my mother?"
"You're gonna wish I had a crush on your parents. This is so. Alright. My first crush was ConstableBentonFraser," Kent says in a rush.
"OH MY GOD," says Jack, loudly but somehow devoid of inflection. Takes a breath, then: "I guess that's this year's Halloween costume sorted."
"Jaaaack!"
It's obvious the interviewer doesn't know who that is, so they try to explain, interrupting each other all the while:
"He's a fictional Mountie--"
"Played by Paul Gross."
"From the Canadian television show Due South--"
"I didn't think it even aired in the U.S."
"He's really smart, likes helping people, friendly--"
"He's such a weirdo! He licks clues!"
"Dark hair, blue eyes, handsome, the whole thing."
"You were right, this is worse than my parents."
Jack's answer, when they get back on track, is much more straightforward. "Oh, that's easy: Westley."
"Oh my god, that's such a good answer. That's, like, The Right Answer."
"There's your Halloween costume sorted as well."
"Jaa-aaack! I'm gonna have to grow a mustache! We're going to have 2 couples costumes. If you're going as the Mountie, I'm going as the cop."
"Which one?" asks Jack.
Kent eyes Jack warily, "let's discuss this at home."