Work Text:
Sergeant Hunter: Will everyone please report to the briefing room. Including our resident ghost.
ARC Trooper Echo: Do we have another mission? I still need to update my cybernetics.
Tech: Oh no.
Redacted: What?
Crosshair: It’s not my fault you adopted two Torrent regs.
Wrecker: Nooooooo!!!!!!!!
ARC Trooper Echo: What? Is this a scolding? Why is it being held in the briefing room? What’s going on?
Sergeant Hunter: Now.
Hunter had felt a growing headache being formed ever since he had discovered the prank war that was happening on the ship. He was fine with it, really, the batchers needed something fun that didn’t end in death or someone nearly being eaten. Well… he was fine with it until someone had decided to pull him into the game as well. He had found all of his knives in random places. In the fridge, under a chair, in the vents, in the toilet- he did not even want to know-, the cereal box, the couch. You name it, there was a knife there.
The Bad Batch slowly filed into the room, appearing one at a time. His defects were all weary of his while Echo was just confused. Their resident ghost, Fives, was leaning on the briefing table, unimpressed by what was going on. Hunter wasn’t surprised that Fives and Echo were terrors. They were older and had the experience, and on top of that they were Torrent. They were Captain Rex’s vod’ika. Of course they were going to be terrors.
“Now. I want to ask you all one question. I’m not mad-”
“Oh, manda, just get it over with,” Crosshair hissed lightly.
Normally, Hunter would ignore Crosshair’s interruption, but this time he was two new squad mates. He was a reputation to uphold. He instead decides that this time he would stare Crosshair down. The sniper shrinks just a little under the stare, but that scowl never leaves his face, and begins to chew on the toothpick in his mouth a little harder. Fives perks up finally, no longer seeming unimpressed. Good. He has his attention now.
“I’m not mad. I swear. Now, who put my knives all over the place,” Hunter continues, glancing between the five of them.
The room is dead silent. Not a single peep out of any of them. Hunter internally sighs as his headache gets worse. Oh, for the love of-
“I did. I did it. Let me handle-”
“No, you didn’t, Echo,” Hunter cuts off the ARC Trooper with a tired sigh.
You see, Echo was a prankster, yes, but he owned up to his pranks. If it was him who pranked you, he made sure to let you know it was him. This? This was not one of Echo’s pranks. Another reason why he knew this wasn’t Echo’s doing was that even if the ARC Trooper was a little insane, and a little shit, he was a protective ori’vod to all of them. Even if he followed Hunter’s lead. Echo would protect whoever had pulled this prank, by taking the blame. Hunter was not about to let Echo take the fall for this one though.
“Wrecker?”
“Don’t look at me! Look at Tech!”
“I didn’t put them anywhere!”
“How did you know that there were misplaced?”
“Because Hunter told us they were misplaced, that’s what this whole meeting is about.”
“Suspicious.”
“No, it’s not. Crosshair was the last to use one.”
“I use them to make sure my rifle is all checked! Everyone knows that, Tech!”
“Hunter, it’s fine. I did it. I’ll handle the punishment.”
Hunter groaned internally as he shook his head and covered his eyes. That headache was growing. God, his batch was full of idiots. He was losing braincells by the second. He just wanted an honest answer so he could knock them upside the head! That was all! The arguing between the group got worse, and Hunter was about to snap at them when Fives rose his ghostly hand up. The arguing kept going since no one, but Hunter was paying attention to them.
“Fives,” Hunter inquired tiredly, eyeing the ghost who looked all too pleased with himself.
“I did it,” the ghost admitted with a smirk, and Hunter has never before wanted to die so badly in order just so he could hit the man.
Just like that more chaos insued as the bacthers declared revenge on Fives. This was going to be a very long week.