Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Unnamed Group [8:46 PM]

shadow the hedgehog added Violet Alexander , deusexgreenicha, and 2 others to a group!

shadow the hedgehog: what’s up heckers

shadow the hedgehog has changed deusexgreenicha’s name to greeg!

greeg: Thanks

Blue: NOOOOOOOO

Violet Alexander: Oh no, they’ve done it

shadow the hedgehog has changed Violet Alexander’s name to two rats in a trenchcoat!

shadow the hedgehog has changed Blue’s name to Sailor Moon!

Sailor Moon: HEY DON’T CALL ME OUT LIKE THAT

two rats in a trenchcoat has changed two rats in a trenchcoat’s name to two rats!

two rats: Good concept, too long.

shadow the hegehog: nice

Reddy Boy: i can take care of myself!!! :)

Reddy Boy had changed Reddy Boy’s name to i’m babey!!

i’m babey!: (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

shadow the hedgehog: i like it i like it

greeg: Shadow did you make this chat just based of the one offhanded messag from yesteryda?

shadow the hedgehog: yeah

greeg: Understandable, have a nice day.

shadow the hedgehog: thanks i will

Sailor Moon: hey Shadow do you wanna die

shadow the hedgehog: yeah why

Sailor Moon: .

Sailor Moon: that’s the wrong answer bucko

i’m babey!: alsalmxlkams shadow are you ok???

shadow the hedgehog: (looks off into the distance) are any of us, truly, okay

two rats: I mean, same, but I don’t think that’s the answer Blue was looking for when he asked.

shadow the hedgehog: gotta keep ‘im on his toes ;)

Sailor Moon: what do i have t do for you to change my nickname

shadow the hedgehog: finish watching sword art online w me

Sailor Moon: FINE I’LL STICK WITH THIS

i’m babey!: there is lore i don’t know here………. tell

greeg: Lore hgfhgshgd

shadow the hedgehog: we watch anime together

shadow the hedgehog: thats it

Sailor Moon: yup

Sailor Moon: i will NOT watch sword art whatevertheheck but if you ever want to stream crystal i’ll watch that

shadow the hedgehog: deal

two rats: This is absolutely riveting, but I have work to go to. Was there a point you wanted to make, Shadow?

shadow the hedgehog: OH YEAH

i’m babey!: i have to go asap too (◕﹏◕✿)

shadow the hedgehog: y’all know i am Away™️ so now we can all hang out :3c

shadow the hedgehog: also so i can send my memes once and have everyone see em

greeg: Of course, of coruse

two rats: coruse

Sailor Moon: coruse

shadow the hedgehog: coruse

i’m babey!: coruse

greeg: I’ll take it, I’m not a coward

Unnamed Group [7:24 AM]

greeg: Hey how did Shadow become part ofour squad anyway

greeg: I am now realizing I didn’t evrr invite them

shadow the hedgehog: thats a secret ill never tell ;)

two rats: Back when they went to Lorule, Red met them at a cheerleading competition. Lorule’s team was very competitive and Shadow and their team were, as I was told, “not very nice” to our team.

shadow the hedgehog: vi i thought u loved me

i’m babey!: laksdlaksmsakl i hated u for like half the year shadow sorry

shadow the hedgehog: its aight im a changed man(?) now

two rats: I’m unsure exactly how they stopped being rivals and started being friends, but by the last few months of the year they had exchanged numbers. I met Shadow when summer started when they were hanging out with Red, just before they moved, and I guess Red adopted them into the group??

two rats: Something like that.

greeg: Lit

greeg: Shadow honey I’m so sorry I’ve only met you once u were very funny

shadow the hedgehog: u aint bad urself my dude

Sailor Moon: lol at least you met them

Sailor Moon: i have only known their face through video chat

shadow the hedgehog: its a beautiful face huh 

Sailor Moon: absolutely not.

Sailor Moon: you just have a nrtfllix subscription and i don’t.

i’m babey!: asalsmxsanjn

greeg: nrtflix

shadow the hedgehog: im being used ]’:

Sailor Moon: yup

shadow the hedgehog: friendship ended with Blue Orion Kekoha, i only know Violet Alexander and Red and Green who i dont know ur full names

i’m babey!: it’s a secret 2 everybody >:3c

greeg: You will never guess what my name is

shadow the hedgehog: hmm gimme a hint

greeg: It’s absurdly common around here

shadow the hedgehog: oh lol it’s link isnt it

Sailor Moon: DING DING DING

greeg: So smatr :D

shadow the hedgehog: thank u thank u

two rats: Your older brother is named Link too, right, Shadow?

shadow the hedgehog: bro my name is link too, rude

greeg: Solidarity!

shadow the hedgehog: cheers bro ill drink to that

shadow the hedgehog sent image [cheers.png]

Sailor Moon: i was going t say i’m surprised but i’m actually not

i’m babey!: wait why do u both have the same name??? isn’t it confusing???

shadow the hedgehog: 1. we r both adopted 2. no thats why we have the nicknames

i’m babey!: oooohhhhhhh

i’m babey!: sorry for bringing it up shadow!! i didn’t know u were adopted (｡-_-｡)

shadow the hedgehog: its fine bro

shadow the hedgehog: i was adopted so young that i dont feel like i was yknow

i’m babey!: understandable!! have a nice day

Sailor Moon: i wish i was adopted my family is a bunch of NUTCASES

two rats: Even Aryll?

Sailor Moon: .

Sailor Moon: CORRECTION everyone EXCEPT Aryll

Sailor Moon: speakin of Aryll she has school soon and i gotta help her draw pictures SO IMMA HEAD OUT

shadow the hedgehog sent image [spongbob.png]

greeg: If she draws more seagulls I would love to see them if she’ll let me!

Sailor Moon: i will she likes you also SHADOW STOP

greeg: I’m honored :D

two rats: Oh, that reminds me - tell Aryll that if she’d have me, I would like to do a science class with her again.

Sailor Moon: she doesnt really like science but ill ask

shadow the hedgehog: owo is blue soft for his baby sister

Sailor Moon: YEAH AND IM NOT A COWARD ABOUT IT SO ILL SAY IT

shadow the hedgehog: cute

Sailor Moon: SHUT

Sailor Moon: ITS NOT CUTE ITS COMMON DECENCY

i’m babey!: the kind of masculinity we need in the world ヽ(´▽｀)ノ

greeg: Do you hear thst Blue it means yoi’re valid

Sailor Moon: i dont need ur validation to be avlid but ill take it

two rats: avlid

shadow the hedgehog: avlid

Sailor Moon: DONT YOU START

Chapter Text

Unnamed Group [2:30 AM]

shadow the hedgehog: roll call

shadow the hedgehog: present

two rats: Here

Sailor Moon: here

shadow the hedgehog: excellent

shadow the hedgehog sent image [solidarity.png]

shadow the hedgehog sent image [weareall.png]

shadow the hedgehog sent image [carexit.png]

Sailor Moon: im going back to bed

shadow the hedgehog: excuse u my memes are quality

shadow the hedgehog: and also we still have one episode left of this binge and i know u hate cliffhangers

two rats: You two are streaming anime right now?

two rats: At two in the morning?

shadow the hedgehog: what abt it

Sailor Moon: yeah youre awake too vi(?)

two rats: Vi is correct.

shadow the hedgehog: (narrator voice) vi... for now

two rats gave shadow the hedgehog’s message a thumbsup!

shadow the hedgehog: meme accepted >:D

Sailor Moon: pay attention to the SHOW you frick

shadow the hedgehog: no i can watch it later

shadow the hedgehog: i have a crunchyroll subscrip u dont this is ur only chance

greeg: Guys some of us aretrying to sleep

shadow the hedgehog: mute ur phone

greeg: I can’t. Th eringer-silent toggle is brokne

two rats: Sucks to suck.

greeg: Thanks

Sailor Moon: i mean me and shadow can shut up

shadow the hedgehog: yeah were literally on video call rn mxnmmvbds

greeg: Thanks I would live to get my res t

shadow the hedgehog: smh cishets and their beauty sleep

two rats: :pensive:

greeg: Thanks guys, I can really feel the love

Sailor Moon: suffer, cishet

two rats: It’s okay Green. Because you’re the only cishet in our squad, I appreciate your presence.

shadow the hedgehog: yeah ur the most chill cishet ive ever met jokes aside

greeg: :D

greeg: Okay can I go bsck to sleep for real thi stime?

two rats: Yes, sorry. Goodnight.

Sailor Moon: sleep well, cishet

shadow the hedgehog: night dude

Unnamed Group [9:32 AM]

two rats: Good morning Red.

i’m babey!: good morning!!!!! (◠‿◠✿)

Sailor Moon: howd you know he was gonna b awake

two rats: Because he wakes up at nine thirty every day of summer break.

two rats: It’s uncanny.

i’m babey!: i use alarms, it’s not a secret jlaksxms

Sailor Moon: OVER BREAK???

i’m babey!: i like my routine ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

two rats: If only we all had your dedication, Red. I wish I had a constant wakeup time :pensive:

shadow the hedgehog: u need a constant bedtime first lmao

Sailor Moon: and we all know that aint happening

Sailor Moon: .

Sailor Moon: i regret saying aint

Sailor Moon: this is your fault, shadow

shadow the hedgehog: convert urself to half-country half-new york accent today!! it’s only a little confusing! (:

i’m babey!: where the heck did that accent even come from btw?

shadow the hedgehog: if i knew id tell u

shadow the hedgehog: dark has it too but neither of us know why

greeg: You have weird accent solidarity with Zelda!

greeg: Also good morning thanks fir letting me sleep lsat night, guys :D

Sailor Moon: DONT count on it happening again but you’re welcome

i’m babey!: hi green :D

greeg: Hi :D

two rats: Hot take.

shadow the hedgehog: what

two rats: We should add Zelda.

i’m babey!: yeah!!!!

greeg: Excellent idea

shadow the hedgehog: i met zelda once but i dont have her username

greeg: I’ll send it to you!

Private Message [shadow the hedgehog > Zelda Harkinian]

shadow the hedgehog: hey zelda its shadow

shadow the hedgehog: the kid red met at cheer comp who ordered cinnamon ice cream the one time we met

Zelda Harkinian: oh, i remember you!

Zelda Harkinian: only villains eat cinnamon ice cream.

shadow the hedgehog: only crazy people eat play doh ice cream

Zelda Harkinian: fair point.

shadow the hedgehog: anyway do u wanna join a group i made with rgbv

Zelda Harkinian: can we do the team rocket thing as my entrance?

shadow the hedgehog: zel have i ever told u how much i love u

Zelda Harkinian: no, but i know. :)

Unnamed Group [10:14 AM]

shadow the hedgehog: prepare for trouble

shadow the hedgehog added Zelda Harkinian to the group!

Zelda Harkinian: and make it double!

shadow the hedgehog: to protect the world from devastation

Zelda Harkinian: to unite all peoples within our nation!

greeg: Hi Zelda

shadow the hedgehog: to denounce the evils of truth and love

Zelda Harkinian: to extend our reach to the stars above (hi Green!!)

shadow the hedgehog: shadow ;)

Zelda Harkinian: Zelda ;D

shadow the hedgehog: team rocket blasts off at the speed of light

Zelda Harkinian: surrender now, or prepare to fight!

two rats: Beautiful setup, excellent follow-through. Good work you two.

shadow the hedgehog has changed Zelda Harkinian’s name to lebisan!

lebisan: thank you shadow. 

shadow the hedgehog: np

Sailor Moon: was that all necessary??

shadow the hedgehog: shut up blue ur twink opinion is invalid

Sailor Moon: EXCUSE YOU

Sailor Moon: YOURE A TWINK DONT THINK YOU CAN RUN

shadow the hedgehog: my opinion is valid though

greeg: Calm down ladies you’re both pretty

i’m babey!: lasjxlkams

shadow the hedgehog: jhfsdhfds

Sailor Moon: GODSSSSSSSSSSS 

lebisan: oh Green!! can we hang out tomorrow?

lebisan: i need help solidifying the officer jacket designs.

shadow the hedgehog: oh u won last year’s student gov race at hyrule right

greeg: Suret hing!

lebisan: i did! it’s not like it was a close race though.

two rats: Yeah, no one wanted to vote against our queen.

lebisan: my dad gave me permission to make custom varsity jackets for this year’s student government. :D

lebisan: however, i am not good at design. so i’ve enlisted Green.

i’m babey!: doesn’t school start next tuesday???

greeg: It does

Sailor Moon: zelda’s dad can pull MAD strings though

Sailor Moon: he helped pay fr my hrt

shadow the hedgehog: dude NICE

i’m babey!: wish i had me an hrt provider :pensive:

i’m babey!: good luck to your dad getting those in five days ∑(゜Д゜;)

two rats: He’ll pull through. He owns a multimillion dollar business.

shadow the hedgehog: oh??? zelda is a young lesbian heir???

lebisan: in theory.

lebisan: in reality, i plan to elope and spend my days in a cottage with my beautiful future wife.

shadow the hedgehog: wow valid

greeg: Live your dreams

i’m babey!: beautiful (´ω｀)

greeg: Oh also Shadow can Zelda name our chat?

shadow the hedgehog: id be honored to have her name it

shadow the hedgehog: zelda, the job is yours

lebisan: :D

lebisan has changed Unnamed Group’s title to Therapy Group (Therapist not Included)!

two rats: Thank you for your service.

lebisan: the pleasure was all mine.

LORULE RISE UP [10:58 AM]

i hate my life: @eboy fashion

i hate my life: come home

Jessie: Ooh, called out...

eboy fashion: okok i will gimme a minute

eboy fashion: me n v are debating the shape of this cloud

James: Riveting, I’m sure.

eboy fashion: also bro whyd u call me out on main

i hate my life: because i love watching you suffer

Jessie: Roasted

egirl fashion: that’s not the right application, hilda.

egirl fashion: very close, though.

Jessie: I didn’t come out here to be attacked on my meme usage midna

eboy fashion: ok we agreed it was a piranha plant im headin home now

i hate my life: thanks

i hate my life: please feed the cat for me i need to leave as soon as you walk in

eboy fashion: sir yes sir

Meowth: Hilda why dont you ever say please when you ask me to do things :(

Jessie: Bc youre my cousin

Meowth: :( But you say please when you ask Ghirahim to do things.

James: I’m special.

Jessie: Yeah, we have mlm wlw solidarity

eboy fashion sent image [solidarity.png]

Jessie: I will never understand how you make those that fast

Chapter Text

Therapy Group (Therapist not Included) [4:14 PM]

i’m babey!: where did everyone go for four days (╥_╥)

greeg: Oh lol we abandoned this after Zelda renamed it, didn’t we? Oops 

greeg: I’ve been getting ready for school to start up

shadow the hedgehog: how much prep do u have to do lmao

shadow the hedgehog: all i do is shove a pencil in my backpack

greeg: .

greeg: How do you survive

Sailor Moon: YOU WHAT

Sailor Moon: WHAT IF YOU HAVE TO TAKE NOTES. WHERE’S YOUR PAPER

shadow the hedgehog: someones always willing to share

Sailor Moon: YOU JUST LIVE WITH NO FOLDERS OR PAPER BINDERS??

two rats: Most people can get through a school year without colored organizational folders.

i’m babey!: i use them but they always end up getting all mixed up by the third week jdasmmzalx

lebisan: sorry for joining and then disappearing, everyone. my dad surprised me with a weekend trip so we could spend time together before school started.

greeg: Oh, where’d you go??

lebisan: we went glamping in the woods near the Eldin mountains!

i’m babey!: the ideal father daughter relationship (●´ω｀●)

Sailor Moon: did your dad get the jacket things done

shadow the hedgehog: blue out here asking the things we all want to know

Sailor Moon: SHUT

lebisan: he did, actually!

lebisan sent image [image0.png]

lebisan sent image [image1.png]

lebisan: there’s the back and front of mine.

two rats: The design and detail work on those is amazing.

greeg: Heck yeah the gold sleeves look so cool :D

lebisan: excellent choice on your part. :D

shadow the hedgehog: whoa cool

i’m babey!: (*´･o･)

Sailor Moon: NICE

lebisan: what school are you going to now that you’ve moved, Shadow?

two rats: Speaking of, you didn’t ever tell us where you moved.

shadow the hedgehog: the answer to both of those questions is boring

i’m babey!: that doesn’t mean we don’t want to know!!! :o

shadow the hedgehog: >:3c

shadow the hedgehog: are yall still going to hyrule

two rats: All of us are, yes.

Sailor Moon: unfortunately

greeg: You love us, Blue

Sailor Moon: FALSE

Sailor Moon: ALSO you only like hyrule because the colors are green and gold

greeg: Not true!

greeg: I also love Zelda, our junior class president!

lebisan: aww, i love you too green. <3 no hetero.

i’m babey!: alksmakmxlm no hetero

shadow the hedgehog: no hetero in my therapy group chat

two rats: I have work soon, so I’m going to get off. See most of you at school tomorrow.

greeg: Last shift?

two rats: Yes, thank the goddesses.

greeg: Nice 

i’m babey!: see you guys tomorrow!!!! (◕‿◕✿)

Sailor Moon: yay

lebisan: i could feel the sarcasm in that one.

Therapy Group (Therapist not Included) [7:44 AM]

greeg: YOU GSGUYS IM FAHDSKJHSFANAXEWUH

greeg: SSAIWAHOWD

two rats: I think he’s having a stroke.

i’m babey!: F in chat for green :pensive:

two rats: F

lebisan: f

Sailor Moon: F

Sailor Moon: ALSO WHY ARE WE ALL ON OUR PHONES WERE IN SCHOOL

greeg: YOU DONTU NDESRTNAD 

greeg sent image [image0.png]

greeg: ITS THEM

i’m babey!: wait WHAT

i’m babey!: @shadow the hedgehog WHAT

shadow the hedgehog: ah i see you have discovered my secret :3c

two rats: Is that you???

Sailor Moon: EXCUSE ME WHAT

Sailor Moon: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SCHOOL?

shadow the hedgehog: gosh blue dont be so mean :( i go here too

i’m babey!: but i thought you moved????

shadow the hedgehog: i did

shadow the hedgehog: i moved to ordon

two rats: That’s… roughly a thirty minute drive from here.

two rats: Why didn’t you tell us you moved so close? We didn’t see you for most of the summer because we thought you moved somewhere far away.

shadow the hedgehog: bc i knew ur reactions would be priceless

greeg: I mean fair

Sailor Moon: Shadow i HATE YOU

shadow the hedgehog: i hate you more <3

Sailor Moon: KJSAHFKJSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA STOPPPPP

i’m babey!: why is no one mentioning the fact that their hair is purple? (∩╹□╹∩)

two rats: Because I’m honestly not that surprised.

greeg: Yeah, I only met them once but the vibes I got from them make me think this is pretty normal

shadow the hedgehog: theres a whole story to be told here but i should probably get off my phone before i get found out

shadow the hedgehog: remind me to tell yall later

Sailor Moon: what class are you guys even in

greeg: English :pensive:

two rats: :pensive: Same hat.

Sailor Moon: never say that again

i’m babey!: shadow i can show you where our lunch spot is if you want!!! :D

shadow the hedgehog: excellente

Sailor Moon: PAY ATTENTION OR I EAT YOUR KIDNEYS

shadow the hedgehog: not if i eat urs first

lebisan: stop blowing up my phone. i have a strict teacher this class period. i love all of you though. :)

i’m babey!: yes queen (,,꒪꒫꒪,,)

Chapter Text

LORULE RISE UP [6:21 AM]

eboy fashion: hey yall is anyone up for skipping schoollege today

egirl fashion: did you get in trouble or something?

eboy fashion: ahsakjhfs no dark is sick, he was complaining about a sick coworker yesterday i think he caught what they had

eboy fashion: i can fake his voice to call in sick for work but he is legally sentenced to bed rest until this evening and i have school

eboy fashion: also the only medication we have left in the house for things more serious than colds is good at knocking him out

Jessie: Oh dear

Jessie: I would, but if I don’t take the test in medical anatomy in an hour I fail :(

eboy fashion: its cool gotta get that degree

Jessie: @James

Jessie: Help them

James: On any other day, I would. But I have the same test as you today, Hilda.

Jessie: Darn, I forgot about that

egirl fashion: rav’s on a trip with his mom right now so we can’t ask him.

egirl fashion: and i’m watching my own brother for the week...

eboy fashion: its aight midna

eboy fashion: i can watch him

eboy fashion: thanks for the support yall

Jessie: I’m sorry we couldn’t help more, love, tell Dark that I miss him already

eboy fashion: ok i need to call places now

eboy fashion: see yall later

James: <3

Therapy Group (Therapist not Included) [7:12 AM]

shadow the hedgehog: sorry i cant tell my hair story today my brother is sick n i have to take care of him

shadow the hedgehog: have fun at school without me (which is impossible ;) )

i’m babey!: aw man, i wanted to hear that story :(

greeg: F in chat for shadow

two rats: F

lebisan: f

i’m babey!: f

Sailor Moon: COWARD ISNT YOUR BROTHER LIKE 8 YEARS OLDER THAN YOU. COME TO SCHOOL

Sailor Moon: ALSO WE CAN HAVE ARGUABLY MORE FUN WITHOUT YOU 

shadow the hedgehog: what can i say, i actually care about my siblings and want to ensure their health

Sailor Moon: ARE YOU INSULTING MY LOVE FOR MY SIBLINGS

shadow the hedgehog: take it however you want bud

greeg: Uh oh

Sailor Moon has been given warning [1/5] for using blacklisted word(s)

Sailor Moon: WHO DID THAT

lebisan: i did. you have to come up with creative insults now.

two rats: Wh

two rats: Why would you do that?

Sailor Moon: LISTEN, TUXEDO MASK APOLOGIST, I LOVE MY SIBLINGS

lebisan: because then their arguments are more fun to watch.

i’m babey!: fair

Sailor Moon: AND I DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR OPINION

greeg: Tuxedo mask apologist qrugwoeiu

shadow the hedgehog: breakin out the inside insults i see

shadow the hedgehog: ok this is fun n all but i gotta take care of my brother

shadow the hedgehog: we can continue this later

shadow the hedgehog is offline

lebisan: rip insult barrier, you served well.

i’m babey!: you good blue??? Σ੧(❛□❛✿)

Sailor Moon: yeah im good

Sailor Moon: fighting with shadow doesn’t actually get me mad

Sailor Moon: at least compared to when me and vio fought a lot

two rats: Vio and I*

Sailor Moon: VIO DON’T YOU START

Sailor Moon: WHAT DID I JUST SAY

two rats: Sorry. The autocorrect urge possessed me. I couldn’t stop it.

greeg: Skjasweuis

Sailor Moon: you are pardoned. ONCE

lebisan: that’s the bell for class. are you boys going to put away your phones?

Sailor Moon: nah

two rats: No. Also, boys and girl.

greeg: Probably not

lebisan: understandable, also sorry violet.

lebisan: i’m going to mute app notifications though, so see you all at lunch.

i’m babey!: bye zelda!!! ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

Sailor Moon: so anyway

Sailor Moon: anyone want to hear the purple hair story

greeg: But shadow is’nt here

Sailor Moon: they told me when we were on call yesterday while netflix was down

i’m babey!: (´･ω･`)

Sailor Moon is typing…

Sailor Moon: ok so Shadow has a friend who went to Lorule last year with them right. they started a bet and Shadow’s half was that they couldn’t quit the cheer team until the end of the year, but they quit in the last few months and lost the bet. their friend got to dye their hair whatever color they wanted so he picked purple. and then, in Shadow’s words, “it ended up looking way better than he thought it would, but we couldn’t undo it, but he was mad that i looked better with purple hair than black hair, so he dyed his hair too, and then half of our friend circle did too so it was actually a win”

Sailor Moon: TL;DR Shadow lost a bet and started a trend

two rats: What was the other half of the bet?

Sailor Moon: .

Sailor Moon: they didn’t tell me ):<

i’m babey!: so basically, if we see any purple-haired people from lorule high, they’re friends with shadow? :0

greeg: Rip shadow’s friend I guess alwieurioweu

greeg: Who was it? Not thay I know any of their friends

Sailor Moon: idk

Sailor Moon: Va-something i wasn’t paying attention

two rats: Typical.

Sailor Moon: Vio buddy you are on thin FREAKING ice

two rats: Duly noted.

greeg: Oh mu teacher’s making rounds I shouldgo

greeg: If shadow comes back tell thelksdjglksjmfdmhbkjf ,mbvc,

i’m babey!: green has fallen… (✿☉｡☉)

two rats: A moment of silence for our fallen comrade.

Sailor Moon: overruled, f in chat

i’m babey!: f

Sailor Moon: thanks red you’re my only friend

i’m babey!: thanks!! :D 

two rats: And here I thought we were on better terms…

Sailor Moon: that was all a ruse i actually still hate you

Sailor Moon: just with less insults

two rats: I see.

two rats: Are we rivals again, then?

Sailor Moon: bold of you to assume we ever stopped

i’m babey!: oh no pls don’t fight i’m in pottery

two rats: Of course, my apologies. Also, as your rival, I am legally required to tell you to watch out at lunch.

Sailor Moon: oh planning something sneaky i see

Sailor Moon: you can’t scare me with your mind games

Sailor Moon: i bet you’re not planning ANYTHING at all

two rats: Keep telling yourself that.

Sailor Moon: i will, ratman

two rats: As you say, t-shirt shredder.

Sailor Moon: WOW THAT ONE’S OLD

Sailor Moon: I FORGOT ABOUT THAT ONE THAT’S GOOD ACTUALLY

two rats: I admit I don’t have any new insulting names.

two rats: I propose we play Smash Ultimate together this weekend. As rivals, to get new content to insult each other with.

Sailor Moon: BET

Sailor Moon: YOU’RE GOING DOWN, ISABELLE MAIN

two rats: Looking forward to it.

i’m babey!: i’m coming too to referee (*0*)/ and keep you from actually killing each other!!!!

Therapy Group (Therapist not Included) [2:45 PM]

greeg: Iam back from the office what did I miss

greeg: Oh no the Blue-Violet rivalry has been rrvived

i’m babey!: i’m sorry green i failed you (；ﾟДﾟ)

two rats: The Blue-Violet rivalry never stopped.

Sailor Moon: yeah what she said

Sailor Moon: my hatred for her cannot be quelled

Private Message [deusexgreenicha > Blue]

deusexgreenicha: For real though are you good?

Blue: uh. yes

Blue: it’s mostly a joke but i can feel myself getting caught up in it

deusexgreenicha: I see

deusexgreenicha: Can you take a few minutes now that scgool’s out to calm down?

Blue: yeah i’m not stupid i know how to take care of myself

deusexgreenicha: Of coruse

deusexgreenicha: Sorry

Blue: no 

Blue: i’m not mad at you sorry for calling you stupid

deusexgreenicha: It’s fine lol you’ve called me worse :P

Therapy Group (Therapist not Included) [2:57 PM]

i’m babey!: they’re gonna settle it in smash!!!

greeg: Oh csn I come?

two rats: I don’t see why not.

lebisan: oh, i’d like to join in! im trying to get the hang of jigglypuff.

Sailor Moon: sure

Private Message [deusexgreenicha > Blue]

Blue: yeah but it’s still not called for

deusexgreenicha: Apologya ccepted, then

deusexgreenicha: See you tomirrow?

Blue: sounds great

Therapy Group (Therapist not Included) [3:00 PM]

i’m babey!: malkmasns i used to main jigglypuff!!!

i’m babey!: i can show you the ropes if you want!!!

lebisan: sure! :D

greeg: I will sit here with my Pac-man and be content

Private Message [deusexgreenicha > Blue]

Blue: and thanks for checking up on me

Therapy Group (Therapist not Included) [3:01 PM]

Sailor Moon: aren’t you trying to learn banjo

greeg: Yeah true

lebisan: we can learn new mains together!

greeg: :D

two rats: Are we just having a get-together on Saturday to play Smash now?

Sailor Moon: looks like it

Sailor Moon: oh well

i’m babey!: i think it’ll be fun! 

greeg: Only time will tlel

two rats: tlel

i’m babey!: tlel

lebisan: tlel

Sailor Moon: tlel

greeg: Im being bullied :(

Chapter Text

Group Therapy (Therapist not Included) [7:32 PM]

shadow the hedgehog: good evening underlings

shadow the hedgehog: did i miss anything important

two rats: Bold of you to assume we’d accept your rule.

Sailor Moon: NO FRICK THAT

shadow the hedgehog: hold ur horses i have to read the backlog lmao

Sailor Moon: im making MY OWN COUNTRY without ANY of you heckers

Sailor Moon: land for cool people only, population: ME

shadow the hedgehog: oh can i come to the smash tournament lmao

greeg: Sure!

lebisan: where are we holding it? my dad wants to know where i’ll be.

i’m babey!: @shadow the hedgehog duel me

shadow the hedgehog: only if we do tag team

i’m babey!: deal!!!!

greeg: Vio was the one who suggested it

greeg: So their house?

two rats: Let me ask. I don’t have a problem with it, but my mom might.

shadow the hedgehog: lol imagine having to ask ur parents to have friends

shadow the hedgehog: the amount my brother cares about company is in the negatives

two rats: We can’t all be orphans, Shadow.

shadow the hedgehog: a real shame :pensive:

i’m babey!: can i be part of ur orphan family shadow :’)

Sailor Moon: but your parents are nice

shadow the hedgehog: heck yeah! were always outta food tho so be prepared to arm wrestle over the last granola bar

i’m babey!: @Sailor Moon they’re nice but they’re transphobic ( ・_・)

Sailor Moon: OH YEAH go be an orphan then

greeg: I don’t have any siblings and my parents work so I’m half-orphan?

shadow the hedgehog: close enough

two rats: She said it’s okay for everyone to come over on Saturday. Does one o’clock sound okay?

greeg: Sure

shadow the hedgehog: yeah

i’m babey!: absolutely!!!

Sailor Moon: i might be late because there’s a lot going on on saturday but i’ll be there

lebisan: sounds good!

two rats: Excellent.

two rats: Blue, don’t forget that we’re having a few one-on-one matches. I think we could get those out of the way as soon as you arrive.

Sailor Moon: ooh eager to be beaten are we?

shadow the hedgehog: 20 bucks vio wins more often

i’m babey!: no Blue’s going to win more!! bet

two rats: More like eager to beat you.

lebisan: maybe don’t make bets?

shadow the hedgehog: of course of course many apologies your highness

Private Message [shadow the hedgehog > Reddy Boy]

shadow the hedgehog: were still betting right

Reddy Boy: oh absolutely

shadow the hedgehog: 20 on vio and blue?

Reddy Boy: yep!!!

Reddy Boy: better get your money ready Shadow, i don’t think blue will lose

shadow the hedgehog: well see

shadow the hedgehog: pleasure doin business with u

Reddy Boy: the pleasure was all mine!! :)

Group Therapy (Therapist not Included) [7:59 PM]

lebisan: great. now if you’ll excuse me, i have homework to cram in before bed, so i’ll see you all tomorrow.

i’m babey!: see ya!!!

Sailor Moon: bye

greeg: Bye zelda!

shadow the hedgehog: imma head out too

shadow the hedgehog sent image [spongbob.png]

i’m babey!: yeet

two rats: Bye Zelda.

shadow the hedgehog: :(

two rats: And you too I guess.

shadow the hedgehog: :)

Sailor Moon: attention whore

shadow the hedgehog: basketball shorts hoarder

Sailor Moon: tiny gremlin

shadow the hedgehog: agitha

Sailor Moon: AIOEWUGUUROWEI 

greeg: I dont get it

i’m babey!: it’s a long story (´∀｀；)

Group Therapy (Therapist not Included) [5:04 AM]

shadow the hedgehog: dawn of the first day

greeg: ???

Group Therapy (Therapist not Included) [5:23 AM]

shadow the hedgehog: dawn of the second day

two rats: Stop.

Group Therapy (Therapist not Included) [5:05 AM]

shadow the hedgehog: the final day

Sailor Moon: IM TRYING TO SLEEP

Sailor Moon: SHUT UUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Group Therapy (Therapist not Included) [11:57 AM]

two rats: Does everyone know my address?

shadow the hedgehog: yes

Sailor Moon: yes

greeg: … No

greeg: Ive been to your house before but I dont know how to get there

i’m babey!: yep!!

lebisan: i don’t have it either.

two rats: I can give it to you in private messages.

shadow the hedgehog: @lebisan dont tell ur dad its next to seedytown ahksvnsdhfk

lebisan: vio, are you engaging in gang activity?

two rats: I would hope not.

lebisan: an acceptable answer, i’ll be there.

greeg: Oh yeah I forgot about that lol

i’m babey!: i have to get going pretty soon to get there on time alcknaxalkm see you guys at 1!!!! ｡^‿^｡

Sailor Moon: i have to wait for gran to get back to give me a ride so i’ll probably be late

Sailor Moon: she’s taking my sister to dance right now :/

i’m babey!: which one?

Sailor Moon: ciela

i’m babey!: nice

shadow the hedgehog: the party dont start until blue walks in

greeg: You mean the battle 

shadow the hedgehog: yeah that

12:19 PM: Blue knocks on Vio’s door. The house is nice, if a bit small; he can already hear someone yelling unintelligibly inside. When he knocks, there’s an instant scuffle inside as a person or two scramble to their feet, and he’s greeted swiftly by Red, with Green trailing behind.

“Blue!” Red half-says, half-screams, opening the screen door and practically dragging him inside, into a hug that Blue makes a show of not enjoying. “Shadow and Zelda are almost done with their match, and then you and Vio can battle.” Green moves out of the way with a wave as Red drags him by the elbow through the wide doorframe to the right, where a large TV sits on the wall. On the screen, Snake and Jigglypuff are duking it out with one stock each remaining, in front of an enraptured audience. Zelda is sitting on one end of the sofa, laser-focused, and Green plops into the space between her and Vio. Red resumes his position on the nearest armrest once he lets go of Blue’s arm and hands him a controller. 

Shadow is nestled into one of the two large beanbags on the corner, and they spare a brief glance at Blue in between button inputs. “The party don’t start ‘til Blue walks in,” they say, and Red snickers. They have an accent that’s an uneven mix of two others, something New York-based and something else Southern.

Blue rolls his eyes, kicking off his shoes and flopping into the other beanbag. He sinks a little, and shifts to be able to see the screen and his friends. “You made the same joke over text,” he points out. “It’s not funny anymore.”

“Red thought it was funny,” they counter. They have a point, so Blue directs his attention to the TV. Just as he does, Jigglypuff rolls into a forward smash from Snake and careens off into the distance, ending the match. Shadow practically throws their controller into their beanbag as they fistpump in celebration, as Green laughs. “Take that!”

Zelda puts her controller down gently on the armrest and nods at her competitor. “Good job, Shadow,” she says, and Shadow tilts their head back to look at her and grin over the beanbag. She has a mishmash accent as well, something west-European and British. “I guess this means it’s time for Blue and Vio to face off?”

Red hands off his controller to Vio, who navigates to character selection. “Square up, peasant,” he says, and Blue whips around to look him in the eye, gamer focus activated.

“You’re on, loser.” He selects Richter at almost the same moment Vio selects Isabelle, and in the moments while they’re picking colors, Shadow yells, “Let the games begin!” through cupped hands.

Shadow and Green quickly become sports announcers, commenting on the likelihood of a win and recounting combos and attacks as they pan out. Their constant stream of commentary is broken irregularly by Blue yelling incohrently, Vio cackling, and both of them slinging insults at each other. Zelda rolls her eyes at their antics, though she pays attention to the matches as she scrolls through her phone. Red is absolutely enthralled, leaning forward as he nods along to Green and Shadow’s narration.

They fight for a solid thirty minutes, taking a brief break halfway through when Vio’s mom interrupts them to drop off snacks. Her name is Paya, and she sets a bowl of pretzels and a tray of cookies out with a quiet introduction before dipping out. Shadow produces gummy worms from somewhere in their jacket and doesn’t share them with anyone, so Blue settles for placing cookies on the edge of the beanbag and taking bites in between stocks.

Zelda finally cuts them off, declaring she wants to play the game. Vio wins their competition with two victories more than Blue, and while he knows Vio will use this against him for at least two months, he can’t find himself terribly angry at the moment, because he got some good insult material out of their shouting.

They decide to play a team battle. Vio has to dig out more controllers from the TV stand’s drawers, but they all manage to select a character eventually.

“Wait,” Green says. “Vio, does Sheik play Smash?”

Vio snorts. “He’s in the official club at his college. Do you want to challenge him?”

“I wanna challenge him!” Shadow declares loudly. Red echoes the same, though with less enthusiasm. 

After a moment of consideration, Vio stands up and sets down his controller, sighing. “I’ll go get him, but don’t be surprised when he buries all of you six feet under.” While he’s gone, Zelda takes initiative and sets up the teams so that Red, Shadow and Blue compose one, and she, Green and Vio make up another. She adds a seventh character with the last extra controller and sets them to be their own one-person team.

“Isn’t that a bit unfair?” Green asks.

She shakes her head, smiling knowingly. “I don’t think so.”

Vio comes back in a minute later with his brother, a taller carbon-copy with longer hair, who doesn’t say anything but waves at them all with the expression of a tired college student. Rather than sitting, Sheik takes his controller from Zelda with a grateful smile and stands behind the couch, leaning forward enough that he can rest his forearms on either side of Vio’s head and hold the controller in his hair. Vio makes no move to combat this, though he looks mildly annoyed when Blue looks at him. Sheik selects Cloud as his fighter, which everyone nods at without comment.

“I feel like this is unfair,” Green repeats as they start the match. Red shrugs.

“I feel like he’ll be fine,” Vio says, and even though Blue is watching the TV, he can hear the smirk in his voice.

(Sheik is more than fine. He wipes the floor with all six of them, and when the match is over, Shadow wiggles around in their beanbag until they can reach over and shake his hand. It turns out that Sheik’s the two-time winner of his college’s annual Smash Tournament.)

When Blue’s grandma comes to pick him up later, he leaves with one last jab at Vio’s personality and a middle finger. He tells his grandma he had fun. Somehow.