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The name-picking process was nothing less than chaotic. The moment they were informed that they were to have a baby girl, they panicked. Not that they weren’t overjoyed and unbelievably excited, it’s just… they had a boy name decided. It was a given that if the child was male, he would be named after Henry’s father with the middle name being more lenient (possibly after Alex’s father or Rafael Luna or anything that follows the name Arthur nicely). The point was, they had an idea, a plan, a direction. Not so much for the bundle of joy soon arriving.
The crisis didn’t set in right away though. No, it came when Alex and Henry were at dinner with their family a few hours after the doctor’s visit. It was a quaint restaurant in downtown New York where the lights hang low and dim. The place was casual and warm with the dark-toned wallpaper and circular tables. It was Pez who suggested the place and Pez of all people starts the conversation by cracking a joke, “Just so you know, I’ll be honored to have the cutie named after her Auntie Pez.” The table laughed for a few moments before the knowledge instantaneously hit both Henry and Alex. Alex mumbled a curse under his breath before laughing again. Because, of course, they forgot .
“What are y’all actually planning?” Nora chimed in asking. “Please don’t feed his ego any more than necessary.”
“We- we don’t know yet.”
“You have plenty of time, sugar. Your father and I weren’t even positive on June’s name until the moment we held her.”
Oscar nodded solemnly, “Girl names are difficult.”
“Oh, I agree,” Catherine caught a glance from Bea before looking over at Alex and Henry. “I think there was a period of time where I was planning on not naming Beatrice at all.”
Bea’s eyes went wide as frantically she turned to her mother, “What do you mean?”
“You were going to have a name, it is not like I was going to have a nameless child. Jesus, Beatrice. No, I was just going to let someone else, like one of your aunts, name you and just tell me. Your father was completely on board until we came to our senses.” Bea looked absolutely horrified.
“What names do you have in mind? I want to tell you which ones suck before you become too attached.” That was June.
Henry and Alex exchange a look before Alex shrugs before drinking his beer, leaving Henry to speak for him. “We haven’t actually thought of any names yet, for a girl anyway.”
“None? Have you looked at a baby name list?” The boys shake their heads and June sighs, “Well here's my suggestion, name her something short. She already has a long enough name as it is without having a first and middle.”
“But not something basic like Emma or Ava. Don’t set her up to be a white girl.”
“Thank you, Nora, but that’s not how that works.” Nora just shrugs and steals one of June’s fries.
“Still can’t believe Philip named my first nephew George,” Bea complained. “The boy is much too cute to be named after generations of dead white men.”
The Americans in the group all shared a collective nod, silently cursing at the late King George III. Henry swatted Alex’s arm with a mumbled, “oh my god, shut up.” He held Alex’s hand nonetheless, rubbing mindless circles with his thumb.
“So it seems like the requirements for the name is something short, not basic, and not British traditional.”
“And not after Pez.”
“Oh come on, Mate!”
They had 6 months to come up with a name. Alex and Henry had their work cut out for them.
Turns out Henry was the first to come up with a name as he was the one to send the first text, three days later.
Thisbe
How do you feel about the name Emily?
as in dickenson?
Yes.
i like the sentiment but i think if fails requirement number 2
Which was?
1) something short
2) doesn’t sound like a basic white girl
3) not associated with your long line of boring ancestry
4) not pez
Ah, of course.
Back to the drawing board, he went. Alex was at work and Henry was supposed to be at home writing today, but he couldn’t focus with this haunting his every thought. So he did what any rational soon-to-be parent and writer would do. He went on BabyNames.com. Except that was an instant mistake because he soon realized just how overwhelming that would be. So he shut his computer and went to make some tea and cuddle with David. What about Bowie? No!
He sat on the couch for a total of 7 minutes before opening the website up on his phone and stared at the first option.
Aadi, Gender: Female , Origin: French , Meaning: Beginning
French. Paris, France. Beginning. She is the first child. She is the beginning. It’s short. It’s probably not basic due to the spelling. It’s not connected to the English monarchy yet. It’s definitely not Pez. But it doesn’t fit. It doesn’t feel right. Something is off.
That soon became the common theme with every name he read. All the names melted together until none of them looked like they could possibly be real words. Aki, Aizza, Ali, Amor. So many A names. After about 30 minutes of searching, he gave up yet again and turned on the television.
That’s where Alex found him a few hours later, asleep. The dim glow of the television lit the living room because the curtains were drawn closed. The soft felt couch holding him perfectly as a blanket loosely covered his shoulders and his chest. David was asleep in his arms like he was a stuffed animal. The slight was disgustingly domestic and Alex reveled in it. So Alex took dinner into his own hands and ordered a pizza before heading upstairs to change out of his work attire.
Upstairs there is an office with two desks, a master bedroom with comforting silk sheets, a guest bedroom that holds some decorative items made by the kids at the center, and an unfinished nursery that has boxes of unbuilt furniture and bare walls. The nursery used to be a second guest room, but mostly just a library, two of the four walls were lined with shelving and a random collection of books the two had accumulated over time. This was the room Henry and Alex spent most of their time in (besides their own bedroom and their office). They had a bed in the center of the room, but also just enough space by the windows to put two comfortable chairs and a small round table. Now the room was uncomfortably empty, but a couple of books remain on some shelves. A few Dr. Susses classics Ellen gave Alex the day he told her the news. “They were yours after all,” she told him. “June got mad at you once and ripped up the others, but she kept the most important intact.” There was a book about royal manners and courtesy that Bea gifted that was simply crossed out and wrote in neat script “Be you, and rule the world how you please, little one. Love, Aunt Bea”. Henry most definitely teared up. Then, of course, the mass selection of parenting books Alex impulsively bought at 2 in the morning a month ago.
Maybe it would have been easier to change the other guest bedroom into the nursery, instead of rearranging their office to fit all their home library while also trying to build a nursery, but it felt right. They had spent so much time in that room, it became safe and sacred, what more could you want for your child? Their child. Their little girl. Their pride and joy… who has no fucking name…
Alex gets a notification shortly after stating the pizza is on its way and he thinks he better get downstairs to wake Henry up, so he does. He sits on the floor in front of the couch and shifts some of Henry’s hair that had fallen into his eyes behind his ear (or attempts it at least, because his hair is too short to stay put). Alex places a gentle kiss on his forehead before whispering, “Baby, do you want to get up? I have pizza on the way.” Alex continues to card his hand through Henry's hair.
“Mmm,” Henry says softly, probably involuntary, ”I like pizza.”
“I’m glad. Now scoot.” He says as he takes Henry into his arms, now also sitting on the couch. “Are you feeling okay?”
“Of course, love. Why?” Henry’s voice is stilled coded with sleep, as he settles his head onto Alex’s shoulder, he hugs him tight.
“Just not used to seeing you sleep on the couch. So undignified.” Henry’s laugh tickles Alex’s neck and everything feels right. After 27 years of life, this was the best decision he’d ever made. Not that he had much of a choice in falling in love, but he had the choice to fight for this relationship. He would fight every day if it meant he could keep Henry wrapped in his arms.
They were in the same position when Alex proposed 3 years ago, they were in a similar position up in their bedroom when they decided that they were ready for a child, they were in a similar position with much fewer clothes on when they celebrated the news that the surrogacy had worked and that they were soon to be fathers.
“Yeah, I guess I didn’t realize how tired I was. I went on one of those baby name websites for approximately half an hour and got overwhelmed, then I sat here with David watching Bake Off.”
“God, those places are hell. I went on one at work today and I was convinced I was going to get a computer virus from all those pop-up ads.” Henry laughs again into his neck causing Alex to turn and kiss him. It was sweet and slow, like how most of their kisses were these days. Nowhere to rush off to. No time limit. Just the two of them, sitting on a couch, in their house, married, and in love. Eventually, the doorbell rang and Alex left the comfort of his husband’s arms to pay some teenager and came back with two large pizzas. “They were having a sale. Shut up.” Alex responded to Henry’s questioning eyes.
So they ate and watched The Great British Bake Off and kissed and cuddled and laughed and and and.
They were so beyond happy with the life they were forming that the only thing that caused them any anguish was the task of trying to pick the perfect name for their perfect little girl. She wasn’t even born yet, but she was so perfect it hurt. “I don’t want to fuck this up.”
“And we won’t. If we are already this stressed about it now, I think it’s a good sign that we will pick the best name. Or we’ll die.”
All Henry could do was laugh and agree. It’s only been three days, they have time.
“What about Arthurette?” Alex suggested about 2 months later. They were at the dinner table working on paperwork, which they could do in their office but just aren’t. It was late at night away, and after dinner, it just seemed easier to stay put.
Henry reacted with a wince, “Oh, no. Alex, what the hell?”
Alex shrugged, “Just a suggestion.” He hadn’t looked up for his stack of papers yet, clearly stating he was just speaking without any filters and he quickly scribbled.
“That actually sounds like it could have been one of Philip’s recommendations he keeps sending me. Not to mention, it doesn’t meet the first requirement.”
“Is there a way to pick a name that fails everything on that list? If so, let's go with that.”
“No naming our daughter out of spite.”
“You are no fun, sweetheart.” He flashes his American Lover Boy smile at Henry, but then freezes, “Wait, Philip has been sending you names?”
“Sadly, yes. They are absolutely horrid,” Henry sighs. “The other day he said that the name should be Agnes.”
Alex raises a dark eyebrow, “as in the saint?”
Henry sighs again and shakes his head in the negative, “No. As in one of my great dead relatives.”
Alex shivers and his charming smile is washed away. “Oh, my fucking God.”
“Indeed. He also implied that Edith was an appropriate name for a child born in the twenty-first century. I think Gran is on it too”
“I’m starting to think George got lucky.”
“Was that painful to say?”
“Extremely, I think I need to go lay down for a while. Care to join me?” He, unlike his normal energetic self, wasn’t being suggestive. Alex even let out a yawn to prove that he was most certainly desiring to go to bed.
Again, Henry shakes his head, “Wish I could, but I’m busy writing and ignoring my brother.”
“Well, come to bed soon. Also, it’s 3 am for Philip.”
“The devil never rests.”
“I thought Mary was the devil.”
“The devil and her henchmen.”
Alex yawns again and excuses himself off to bed, but not before kissing Henry goodnight. And just as Alex was out of sight, Henry’s phone buzzes
Maybe you should consider the name Louise. -Philip
What Henry does consider is blocking his brother’s number, but finds that may end up being counterproductive and will cause more tension and drama. So he just leaves him on read instead, which is something he isn't unfamiliar with doing. After finishing one more page worth of work, he finally allows himself to retire up to the bedroom and sleep. He didn’t realize just how exhausted he was until he walked into their room and considered skipping changing into his sleepwear in preference of just crawling straight into bed. Henry had more self-control than that, but every moment prior to getting into bed ached and almost hurt. “Get as much sleep as you boys can, okay?” Ellen had told them once when the whole process started. “Because I haven’t slept a full night since Alex was born.”
“I’m the second child, mom.” Alex had reminded her.
“You heard me.”
As Henry fell into bed around 11 pm he worried that maybe they were in over their head. Both of their sleeping schedules had become more regulated as they started to travel across the world less, but there was still a fair amount of erraticness too. Not that it could affect when a newborn decided to sleep, but it would make it more difficult for Alex and Henry as individuals who already have a hard enough time getting enough sleep to be functional humans in society and the public eye.
Henry felt the mattress shift as Alex wrapped himself around Henry before whispering “I can hear you thinking, baby. Shut up.” And what else could Henry do, but listen? He never had any power over himself when it came to his husband, and that’s the one place he loves to not be in control. He is just falling effortlessly more in love with the asshole taking all of the blanket, even while cuddling.
“I love you,” Henry whispered before stealing back some of the blanket and drifting off into a dreamless sleep.
“Alex, I don’t understand,” June says over the phone. He can practically see her rubbing her temples. “The due date is in a month and you have no name? Not even a list?”
“I know, I know. And we do have a list. A list of names we don’t want. It’s fucking huge. Bug, I’m stressing out.”
“I would be more concerned if you weren’t stressing out. That’s all you know how to do.”
“Uncalled for June.”
“Whatever. Send me your list so I can help,” He can hear her typing on her laptop. “You guys need to pick the name so Nora and I can buy some cute decor for her room. We’ve just been calling her Baby Girl, which just seems so impersonal. You know what name I always liked?”
Alex throws his head back in exasperation, “No, but I have a feeling you are going to tell me.”
“You are such an asshole. It’s official, I’m not helping you, I’m helping my niece.”
“Noted.”
“Elizabeth. It’s simplistic and beautiful. It has a royal background, and can be broken down into several different nicknames.”
“Rule 1 through 3.”
There’s a pause. “What?”
“The rules remember? Number one: the name needs to be short. Number two: the name can’t be associated with basic white girls. Number three: the name can’t be tied to preexisting royals.”
“Wait,” June stops her typing and starts laughing. “Are you kidding me? That was a joke, dude. Have y’all actually been- oh, my fucking God? I can’t believe this,” June starts shuffling around and Alex hears another voice in the background. “Nora, you won’t believe what Alex has been doing for the past 5 months.”
“June, I beg you. No.”
“Alex, I’m putting you on speaker.”
“Ugh,” Alex groans directly into the phone’s microphone.
“So, Alejandro,” Nora’s voice now comes out clear and loud over the phone. “What did you fuck up this time?”
“I did nothing wrong. I just was following the instructions I was given, and if I didn’t agree with them, I wouldn’t have done so in the first place, so shut up, June. Elizabeth is a horrifically basic name, that is too long and I don’t want my daughter to have the same name as some old dead queen.”
“Multiple queens actually. Some of them were pretty badass, if you do recall..”
“Oh, Alex. You actually have been following the fake requirements we gave y’all?”
“Again, if we didn’t agree with it we wouldn’t have done it!”
“You are putting too much pressure on yourself, moron. There should be no checklist, you should just see a name and know. There is no checklist on how to run your life. You should know this, Mr. Congress by 30.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Alex conceded. As he was about to hang up, Henry calls for Alex from downstairs, indicating he just got home.
“Is that Henry? Put him on the phone, I wanna talk to him.”
“June, no.”
“Alex, yes.”
“Ugh,” He groans from the second, and most likely not last time this call. The bedroom door opens slowly revealing a questioning prince of England in the doorway. Alex gave him a weak smile before holding his phone out to him, “June wants to talk to you.”
“Uh, hello June,” Henry speaks politely when he puts the phone to his ear and moves to sit next to Alex in bed. He hums in agreement to something June (or possibly Nora) had said every now and then and laughs a few times too before handing the phone back, June already has hung up. “She thinks we are uptight about the whole naming thing and that we should name her Elizabeth.”
“Veto.” Alex simply says as he falls onto his back, head landing ungracefully on his pillow.
“Agreed, I just didn’t want to tell her no. She scares me.”
“Ugh, what are we going to do?”
“Draw from a hat?”
“We don’t even have names to put in a hat.”
“Oh, right.” They sat in silence for a while, thinking to themselves. They’ve done a bunch of thinking lately. That is all they really have been doing recently actually. Henry laid down next to his husband and stared at the ceiling above. “Are we really ready for this?” The room is quiet again, and Alex seems to be holding his breath, so Henry continues with caution. “Not that I don’t want to. I very much do, I’m so excited and in love with her. It just seems… If we can’t do this, what can we do?”
Alex finally exhaled slowly. “Sweetheart,” soft and pure. He rolls over to face Henry and cups his cheek, before speaking again “Isn’t that all we need to do? Love her unconditionally? Of course, give her all the things she needs to survive, but other than that, what else is there?”
“What if she hates whatever we choose?”
Alex shrugs, “Then we call her whatever she wants to be called. Whoever she is, we support her.” After giving him a kiss, Alex says, “Tomorrow we make a list and we come up with a name by the end of the week. Okay? And no more checklists. Maybe that’ll be easier.”
“As long as Elizabeth isn’t on said list.”
It took them 3 hours to come up with a name. Turns out, when you stop pressuring yourself so much, things come a lot easier. And apparently, Alex had a name he adored floating around in his busy head but didn’t let himself think too hard on it before. It was persistent, though, as most things in Alex’s mind were and the look on Henry’s face when it was finally spoken made that feeling that it wasn’t right, dissipate.
Super Six
WE DID IT BITCHES!
BUG
Alex, no one wants to know that.
NOT THAT!
we picked a name
but now you don’t get to know
irl chaos demon
Wowowow
BUG
You have to tell us
i do not. i refuse.
Beaware
Henry?
HRH husband dickhead
Aria Marie.
H!!!!
Pezfect
Wait, babes. That’s adorable.
But you missed the opportunity the have the initials be abcdef
HRH husband dickhead
What do you mean? The E would still be missing. So it wouldn’t be the alphabet.
irl chaos demon
another last name! another last name! another last name!