Work Text:
Fuji: "Ne Tezuka, do you want to have kids someday?"
Tezuka: "...We are in middle school, Fuji."
Fuji: "Do you not want to have kids? :("
Tezuka: "We already have them. We have to deal with them almost every day."
Fuji: "We do?"
Tezuka: "...Echizen, come here."
Echizen: "What is it buchou?"
Tezuka: "Fuji, here."
Fuji: "Saa, Echizen, I'm your mommy now."
Echizen: "I'm sorry, what?"
Tezuka: "Fuji! O///O"
Fuji: "And that makes Tezuka your daddy, understand?"
Echizen: "But I already have-"
Momoshiro: "Aren't you only 2 years older than him though? How does that make sense?"
Fuji: "Don't question it, Momoshiro."
Momoshiro: "Yes sir!"
Eiji: "Hold up! You can't just monopolize Ochibi like that! We all know that Oishi is the team mom here!"
Oishi: "...Eiji, what are you saying."
Eiji: "And since I'm his partner, then that means I'm the team dad."
Oishi: "Uhhh."
Fuji: "That can't be right... can it?"
Momoshiro: "If that's the case, then I get to be Echizen's reliable older brother!"
Kaidoh: "Pfft, reliable? Yeah right."
Momoshiro: "What! I am totally a reliable senpai! More reliable than you at the very least!"
Kaidoh: "Oh yeah? Well I can be a reliable older brother too! I'll show you!"
Inui: "Based on this development, then Kawamura I should also be the older brother."
Kawamura: "Eh? Me? Uh, okay?"
Eiji: "Mmm, I think Inui's more of an uncle actually."
Inui: "You do realize that we are the same age, right? The only second years here are Momoshiro and Kaidoh. It goes without saying that Echizen, who is a first year, is the youngest."
Eiji: "Wow, Ochibi is so smol!"
Echizen: "..."
Oishi: "Momoshiro, Kaidoh, stop fighting! Kawamura, could you please help me out here!"
Kawamura: "Y-yes!"
Fuji: "Hmm, but Tezuka looks the oldest among all of us, so that ultimately makes him the team dad."
Tezuka: "Ahem, Fuji."
Fuji: "Therefore, we are the ultimate couple."
Inui: "This can be good data..."
Oishi: "Don't just stand there and watch, Inui!"
Inui: "Ah, r-right."
Eiji: "No way! Oishi and I are the Golden Pair, you know? If that's the case, then the two of you should be the team's grandparents."
Fuji: "Excuse me?"
Oishi: "Phew, they've finally calmed down. Seriously, those two..."
Tezuka: "Thank you for your hard work, Oishi."
Oishi: "You could have helped us, Tezuka. T^T"
Tezuka: "...It looked like you had it control."
Fuji: "...Fine. We will be the grandparents. You and Oishi can babysit the kids."
Momoshiro: "Hey! You're a kid too, you know!"
Kaidoh: "Fshuu, I don't need babysitting!"
Kawamura: "Uh, guys..."
Eiji: "Fine! We will be the parents then! Right Oishi?"
Oishi: "Yes?"
Fuji: "Inui, if you want, you can be the uncle."
Inui: "Alright."
Momoshiro: "Tch, they're just ignoring me. C'mon Echizen, let's ditch these idiots and get something to eat."
Kaidoh: "What did you just call me, teme!"
Kawamura: "You're welcome to come over for some sushi if you'd like."
Echizen: "Thanks Kawamura-senpai."
Kawamura: "Of course!"
Momoshiro: "I called you an idiot. Is there a problem?"
Kaidoh: "Yeah, aren't you the idiot here?"
Momoshiro: "No, I already said that the idiot here is you!"
Ryoga: "Sorry to interrupt your lover's quarrel but I need to borrow Chibisuke."
Eiji: "Ah! He's taking Chibisuke away!"
Fuji: "You there!"
Tezuka: "Who are you?"
Echizen: "...Brother?"
Kawamura: "Eh?!"
Eiji: "Brother?"
Momoshiro: "Brother?!"
Ryoga: "Hey bro! I'm here to save you! Aren't you glad you have such a cool older brother?"
Inui: "So Echizen has an older brother... Interesting."
Echizen: "...I don't know you."
Ryoga: "Rude! Wah, my brother's such a little brat!"
Echizen: "..."
Ryoga: "Aww, are you pouting? Chibisuke is so cute, hehe! I'll forgive you so don't be mad, okay? Come on already, let's go home!"
Eiji: "Ah, Ochibi's gone. What do we do, Oishi!"
Oishi: "It's fine, that was Echizen's brother after all."
Fuji: "...Did he just steal our grandchild away."
Tezuka: "...It would seem so."
Eiji: "Our precious child! ;A;"
