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Clutching my stomach in one hand, and the full wine glass in the other, I had to bite down a swear. I’ve had this wine before, how could it make me sick? Though as ill as I felt, it was nothing to the utter exhaustion taking over me, if I let myself I could fall asleep right here, in the middle of the kitchen.
Part of me knows I should call Killian, it was, afterall, our unofficial marriage vow to not keep secrets from each other anymore. It’s nothing though, I’m just tired. I went to place the wine glass back on the counter when I noticed my hand glowing white with magic, making the wine boil.
“Oh god!” I shouted out in surprise, dropping the glass from the shock.
I could only watch as it shattered on the floor, but the alarm from that could not come close to the alarm from my glowing hands. The shattered glass only succeeded to remind me more of last time my magic was out of control like this.
They haven’t glowed like this since… god this doesn’t make any sense!
Holding up my hands, trying to will them to stop glowing, I whispered, “what the hell.” I have not lost control of magic in years! This doesn’t make sense, why would I lose control now?
Though part of me knew that this really was the time to call Killian, I did not have the heart to cut short his ‘guy's night’ with Dad. It is only once a month after all, if that, with how busy Dad gets helping Mom run the town.
The other part of me figured if I cleaned up this mess then Killian does not have to know until I have an idea of what in the hell is going on. Though the rest of me was just too utterly warned out to do anything.
Maybe it really is just my exhaustion making me lose control. Maybe a short nap can fix it, just sleep for a bit and then I can clean up the mess. Killian won’t even have to know. It’s not even really a secret if I’m better after anyway.
I lugged myself upstairs, god has one flight of stairs never felt so tiring. I have not been this exhausted since I had Henry, I really need to work out more.
Laying down in our bed, I don’t even remember pulling the covers over me before I was out like a light.
It was not until I felt a course hand on my shoulder and the soft sound of my husband's voice whispering ‘love’, that I woke up. How could I have slept this long? He was supposed to be out for hours.
He spoke again before I could, “Love, what is going on? I saw a shattered glass downstairs and now you’re napping, you never nap?”
I sat up, “It’s nothing Killian, I’ll go clean up the glass,” I moved to get off the bed when I suddenly felt ill again, my hand flying to my mouth but thankfully nothing came up.
He reached out from his place on the bed, and grabbed my hand that was not over my mouth, “that is not nothing, love. We promised no secrets, remember? And I already cleaned up the mess anyway.” What did I do to deserve him?
As much as I do adore holding his hand, I tried ever so subtly to pull away. At his glance down, watching me fidget, I stilled, moving away would be more suspicious. Please let my magic stay calm while he’s here.
I looked up at him, “I don’t want to worry you, I’m okay.” I tried and failed to reassure him.
He's too stubborn for his own good, “Not telling me is more worrying.”
My eyes went downcast, “it’s just, I freaked myself out and dropped the glass. I was too tired to clean it up so I figured if I took a quick nap then I could clean it up before you came home.” Once again I tried to pull away from him, but he would not let go.
His voice softened, “how did you freak yourself out?”
I could feel the nervousness and worry in me grow until I did not have to look down to know my hands answered the question for me. This time when I tried to pull my hand away, he let me go. My hands only glowed brighter.
He muttered under his breath, “bloody hell,” before asking, “What’s going on, Emma?”
I got off the bed and stood up, “I’m not sure, I don’t know why this is happening,” I backed away from him, but he stood up and walked closer, “no! Keep your distance”
He did not cease to approach me, “I know you would never hurt me.”
I kept my hands behind me, so if they do something then at least he will be safe, “yeah that’s what Henry said the last time this happened, when Ingrid was around, and I hurt him.” Why can’t he understand?
He insisted, “That was an accident,” and he stepped forward.
“I don’t need any more accidents,” I fled the room, making my way downstairs, but I could hear him right behind me. Sometimes he needs to learn to give in. But I know that’s not in his nature.
He called out, right on my heels, “You taught me that we don’t solve our problems by running away.”
Once reaching the landing, I turned around, “I can’t watch myself hurt another person I love.” I just can’t, I can’t be so reckless again.
He stepped closer, but I did not step back this time, for what reason I do not know , “We will work through this together, as we do everything.” He took one careful step at a time until he was right in front of me, almost touching, “I vowed to love you for all eternity, that includes when you can and can not control your magic.” Of course he has to reference our wedding vows.
He leaned forward, slow enough for me to be able to back away again but I didn’t, why didn’t I? and then he kissed me, soft and slow. God I love him so much, I’ll never be able to express it fully.
This time, when I felt my hands glow all I could feel was love . Somehow Killian has a way of always diminishing my worries. When we pulled out of the soft kiss Killian stared down at me, and when I followed his gaze we were met with the sight of my stomach glowing.
I could hear the confusion filling his voice, “did that happen the last time you lost control of your magic?”
I put my hand on my stomach, “you don’t think…?”
I look up in time to see his eyes widen as it sunk in what I was implying. For such a clever captain he can be kind of slow. We need to be sure, we can’t get our hopes up too quickly. This could just be magic going crazy again, we can’t know for sure yet.
“You need to go to the store!” I told him. We need to know.
His face was filled with even more confusion than before, “the store, why? I don’t know what I’m looking for.” There are very few times I wish I had married someone from the modern technological world instead of a magical realm, this is one of those times.
I gestured to my glowing stomach, “I need a test to make sure, and clearly I can’t go with a lit up stomach! What if we’re wrong? We can’t have all of Storybrooke saying I’m pregnant if I’m not.”
His eyes lit up at the key word, “I do like the sound of that,” he put a hand on my stomach and it glowed an even brighter white. Who knew the color of love was white?
I went on, “they sell pregnancy tests at the general store, it’ll be in a box that says ‘pregnancy test’. Grab a few though, just in case.” Though he was still spilling over with emotions, and albeit reluctantly, he left with the promise to be back soon as possible.
As soon as he left, I trudged back upstairs, hand staying on my stomach, and laid back in bed. Even though I napped way too long, I could still barely keep my eyes open.
God could I really be pregnant again? This crazy magic stuff didn’t happen with Henry, then again I was in the real world without magic then. But when I lost control when Ingrid was causing havoc, only my hands caused magic, not any other body part. Could I really be pregnant? I mean me and Killian did… we’re married after all, it’s not a crime. Just, we weren’t trying to get pregnant.
But the way his eyes lit up at the idea, it was even brighter than my stomach.
He kept his word, coming back as soon as possible. Upon seeing him I let out a laugh, “oh my god, did you buy out the whole store?”
His answer was dumping the bag out on the bed, quite more than a few pregnancy tests falling out. “You didn’t say which kind, so I got one of each,” he shrugged, showing off the haul.
I chuckled, gathering up the tests and heading to the bathroom, when he followed I told him to “stay here.”
Though the first test did give a clear answer, I still did the next one. And the next one. And the next until I used them all up, just to be sure. I can’t give either of us false hope.
Finally I exited the bathroom, only one of the tests in hand, Killian immediately stood up from his place on the bed, the question clear on his face. I could only hide the smile for a second before I beamed at him, literally from my stomach and figuratively from my smile, holding up the test I announced, “we’re pregnant.”
He immediately ran forward, pulling me close and kissing me, both of us smiling through the kiss. “We’re pregnant” he repeated, beaming so much brighter than my magic could ever dream to be.