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I'm a sucker for self sacrifice

Summary:

Theobald is exhausted after the battle. Lapin convinces him to rest.
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Established hidden relationship because I'm too much of a coward to write real yearning.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Theobald was good at his job. Obviously he was a good knight, or he wouldn’t have been promoted to captain of the guard. He was a good fighter and endlessly dedicated to the royal family, and no one who had any criticism about him could refute those points, no matter what attacks they may have on the rest of his character. He was cool under pressure in a fight, years of training making difficult maneuvers easy to pull off, even when throwing in the ever complicated world of magic. He was far from perfect, but fighting was the thing he was good at, in a way he was never quite as good at political mechanations or the intricacies of history. The adrenaline of battle was a familiar, welcoming feeling, giving him the tunnel vision necessary to direct his knights.

It was a lot different when the soldiers he fought with were not soldiers at all, but rather the royal family and his- Lapin. He couldn’t direct them, for a whole host of complicated reasons not limited to differing status, lack of formal training, and the automatic complications any magic user brought to a fight. He could only do his best to take down as many enemies as soon as possible before they could hurt anyone else, jumping in the way to take the damage meant for others when he was too slow. The King had to be top priority, and then the heir, and then the other kids and then Lapin, in theory, but he also knew that Lapin could heal them with his ‘miracles,’ something no one else could do, so he really should be top priority, but he couldn’t be sure that wasn’t his own feelings coloring his perception, and none of it mattered anyways when he could do nothing but focus on the person in front of him, slicing away at the bodies surrounding him until he could see the others, make sure they weren’t in danger. 

There was something going on, these meat soldiers were obviously not all they seemed, and this was all premeditated in a far too suspicious way, but Theo’s strong suit wasn’t thinking, so he saved that for later. And then they were done, bodies littering the road that were somehow all miraculously foes and not friends. They hadn’t even lost a single guard. 

They looked into the would-be assassins that apparently hailed from the Dairy Isles, and Theo felt the adrenaline drain out of him slowly. The children had questions, obviously, and he couldn’t begrudge them that, but he was still hurt, and there were too many imperial soldiers around for Lapin to risk a spell, and while their eyes were bright with their first battle, Theo was exhausted with the thought of how badly that could have gone. They truly had no concept of how lucky they had just been, how far outnumbered they had been. He was sure later the joy would wear off and the trauma of death and near death and the wake up call that was people wanting them dead for their name would occur to them, but at the moment they reminded him of the children they were. Eighteen in age and so, so young at heart, that was the princesses. He felt far too old to be as amused by it as he usually would.

The Imperial Soldiers left, finally, after far too long spent hanging around being useless, prepared for a second wave that would clearly never come. With them went the last bit of Theobald’s will to pretend he wasn’t longing for just a moment of peace, as he dropped the wall of The Captain of The Royal Guard of the House of Rocks. 

He vaguely witnessed as the king pulled aside his daughters and, on second thought, his ward, conspiratorial whispers and tight hugs being exchanged as they packed up and the carriages began to prepare their leave. Someone was beside him suddenly, gently guiding him towards the second carriage, filled with supplies but empty of any other bodies. He realized it was Lapin, after what was likely far too long.

“Are you well?” He was asking. Theo wondered how he must look for there to be that much concern in his voice. 

He nodded then, thinking better of it, imagining how the state he was in would hold up if it turns out they were wrong about the second wave. “Spare heal?” he asked. Lapin grimaced. 

“I don’t have much left that I can do,” he said apologetically. “I’m afraid the king was taking a great deal of damage.” Gently, he layed one hand on Theobald’s face and whispered a string of words he didn’t recognize, and he suddenly felt some of his energy return to him, a few of his smaller cuts and bruises vanishing, as the small space was filled with the scent of sugar. It wasn’t much, but the hand stayed on his face, and that was helping just as much, honestly.

He didn’t know when he closed his eyes, but when he opened them again Lapin was still staring at him, the concern still present in his eyes. That wouldn’t do.

“I’m fine,” he reassured, hoping his words weren’t undercut too much by the way he was still leaning in to the light touch. This was far too dangerous, really. At the pace they were travelling anyone could come running into this carriage at any moment and see them like this together. It wasn’t terribly intimate, and could be easily brushed off with any number of excuses, but it wasn’t worth the risk. Still, he didn’t pull away. 

“That battle was rather intense,” Lapin said, still not taking his eyes off of him. Theo nodded. 

“It’s thanks to you that we were alive to see the end of it.” He was at a loss for what to do to fully convey how true that was, how the risk of discovery Lapin repeatedly took was the reason the royal family were currently gathered in the carriage in front of them, happy and safe and breathing. Theo could do his best, but at the end of the day there was only so much harm he could prevent. Lapin was there to meet him at his shortcomings, making up for the damage he let slip through. 

Lapin’s thumb began brushing gentle circles back and forth, just under his eye. He suddenly realized how much Lapin had to stretch to reach his check and leaned forward slumping his shoulders even more so he wouldn't have to reach so far. 

He feels like dead weight now, slumped and sapped of energy, nursing the wounds the magic hadn’t healed. He would be fine tomorrow if he managed a full night of rest, and with each passing second the idea of laying down and sleeping was more and more appealing. But Lapin was in front of him making a soft worried noise, and Theo’s eyes that had once more closed without his consent opened. 

“If it weren’t for you doing the actual fighting, I would have run out of magic before long. I’m fully out now, otherwise I would heal you more.”

“I’m fine,” he argued, an instinctive response. “Don’t worry.”

“Oh, but you know how much I enjoy worrying.”

He was being tugged forward again. The hand had left his check which felt like an injustice but had laced through his fingers which felt like a blessing, and he found himself sitting on the bench that lined the back on the carriage, Lapin next to him. 

“You should rest now,” he suggested in that curt and caring way only he could manage, pulling him forward slightly so that he was resting against his shoulder. He had a book on his lap, and Theo must be out of it because he has no idea where it came from. 

“Someone should stay awake to keep an eye on the family,” he protested, though his words were already thick with sleep. Lapin was far from the most comfortable pillow, bony shoulders giving no real room to rest his head except for the full body slump he was doing now, but he was warm and safe.

“The tart guards are keeping, well, guard, I suppose. And I’ll keep watch.”

Theo shot up some at that. “No, you should replenish your magic. I’ll keep watch first.”

Lapin scoffed.

“Sleep, Theobald. The family is fine. You’ve done all you can to protect them for now. Worry about yourself for once.”

The idea sounded far too inviting.

“Didn’t do enough” he muttered, even though he knew Lapin hates it when people don't enunciate, as he fell to the side once more. “Couldn’t keep them safe.”

“You’re one man to their horde of buffoonery. Cut yourself some slack.” He smiled at that, the sleepy grin pulling at the cut still on his check, thankfully not the one pressing into the chancellor’s side. 

“They are a very loud group,” he conceded. “Still,” his smile vanished. “The king went down three times on my watch. I don’t deserve to call myself captain.”

Lapin’s hand, which had begun to run through his hair, stilled for a moment. 

“Theo, look at me.”

He pulled back and looked forward towards Lapin, who was staring back at him with a serious expression. Both hands were on his face now, ensuring he didn’t look away.

“The rocks and their ward are safe. I’m safe. You can rest now.”
“But-”

“You’re no use to anyone exhausted and hurt,” Lapin cut him off. And even though it was incredibly dangerous, he sent a wary look towards the carriage door and darted forward to press their lips together in a quick kiss. It would probably be the best they would get while on the road. “Rest.”

“Okay,” he whispered, suddenly overcome with emotions on top of his exhaustion. He didn’t fully believe him, but he made a good point that he wouldn’t be able to fight in this state. He really should sleep, just for a while. Still. “Wake me up soon,” he commanded.

Lapin just hummed, already absorbed in the book he had been holding. Theo smiled as he closed his eyes and attempted to make himself as comfortable as possible. Part of his brain was still alerting him to the fact that they really did not want to be discovered in this position, but he was resolutely ignoring it for the time being. 

He swore he heard Lapin  whisper something about “this foolish man is going to be the death of me” but, having no idea what that meant, drifted off to sleep before his mind could even process the words.

Notes:

Character: I like protecting/ caring for people
Me: I know this, and I'm going to give you angst