Work Text:
as the world comes to an end, i’ll be
here to hold your hand
It has been a long, particularly stressful week at work and Amy Santiago finally has time to put her feet up and relax with a good crossword puzzle. Since becoming a sergeant just two weeks ago, things have been crazy at the precinct and she had been looking forward to spending tonight with Jake – that was, until he texted her a half hour ago to let her know he’d be staying late at work.
Late nights and early mornings are all part of the job, Amy knows that all too well, and she really is used to it by now, but the prospect of spending tonight alone is still disappointing none the less. Rather than dwell on her fiancee's absence though, she has made the decision to turn on some relaxing music, change into her most comfortable loungewear and pull out her favourite puzzle book – the one she usually saves for her days off.
However, she has barely been sitting on the sofa for thirty seconds when the doorbell rings, the loud sound cutting through the classical music playing in she and Jake’s shared apartment. Amy groans, throwing her puzzle book and pen down beside her in frustration. She had been just about to figure out the first word, but this interruption has caused it to completely escape her mind.
As Amy stands up slowly, wrapping a blanket round her shoulders, the doorbell rings for a second time, and immediately after, for a third.
“Yes, okay! I’m coming!” Amy whisper-shouts in frustration as she heads for the door, loud enough for the person on the other side of the door to hear her but not so loud that she might disturb her neighbours.
Without putting much consideration into who might be visiting their apartment at such a time, she unlocks and opens the door, and is shocked to see Rosa Diaz standing before her, looking sheepish.
“Rosa? Hey.” Amy says, trying not to sound too surprised or confused. She and Rosa have been spending a lot more time together since her colleague returned from jail along with Jake, but Rosa isn’t the type to drop in for a friendly visit.
“Santiago.” Rosa says with a nod. “Uh, I’m sorry for just showing up. I can, like, go if you’re, you know, busy.” Rosa turns as if she is going to walk away.
Amy quickly stops her, waving her hands. “No, don’t go!” She says, trying not to sound too desperate for Rosa’s company. It’s just that she’s pretty flattered to be receiving a visit from the secretive detective. “Come inside.”
Rosa stares at her for a moment, as if considering whether or not she was right to come here, and then nods slowly. “Thanks.”
Amy leads her friend into the apartment and heads straight for the fridge, babbling characteristically as she goes. “So, what brings you here? Not that I’m complaining – it’s good to see you. Do you want a glass of wine? In fact, I think Jake left some beer from a few nights ago if you want-”
“Santiago.”
The word breaks slightly as Rosa says it, causing Amy to freeze completely. For just a moment, she allows herself to wonder whether the reason for this seemingly harmless visit is not positive, before she turns around to face Rosa, who is standing in the middle of the room, looking anywhere but directly at Amy.
“I think I might be pregnant.” Rosa says the words very quickly, and even more quietly, the colour draining from her face almost entirely. She looks scared, an emotion that Amy doesn’t see in Rosa often, and it makes Amy’s heart sink down to the bottom of her stomach, physically aching as it goes.
“Oh.” Amy replies, the word practically becoming stuck in her throat before making an appearance in the form of a tiny squeak. “Oh.”
“Yeah.” Rosa replies awkwardly, shuffling her feet. She is ringing her hands together, but Amy can still detect the slight shake in them.
Amy stares at her friend for a second longer, suddenly realising how small and completely out of control Rosa looks at this exact moment, and then sighs. “Well, that’s okay. We can deal with this. I have some tests in the bathroom if you want to use one.”
Rosa draws her bottom lip in between her teeth, and her eyes are glistening when she finally allows her eyes to meet with Amy’s. “I can’t,” she whispers, shaking her head. “I’m… really scared.” It’s almost as though, Amy notes, she physically struggles to say the words. As though she is repulsed by admitting she is afraid.
“Rosa,” Amy says sympathetically, taking a few steps forward until she is standing directly in front of her friend. “It’s okay to feel scared, but you don’t have to be.” She pauses, reaching out to place a hand on Rosa’s shoulder, slightly shocked when her friend doesn’t flinch or slap her hand away. “Whatever that test says, I’ll be here for you, okay? Whatever happens.”
“But what if it’s positive?” Rosa asks very quietly. She briefly glances at Amy’s hand where it rests on her shoulder but still does nothing to remove it.
Amy smiles sadly, her face softening. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”
Rosa stares at Amy for a moment longer before nodding in agreement. “Fine.” She says, reaching up abruptly to wipe the tears from her eyes, causing Amy to notice the tears in her own eyes and discreetly blink them away. “Let’s do it, I guess.”
⁓
“Rosa? You alright in there?”
Amy knocks timidly on the bathroom door, chewing on her bottom lip nervously. It’s been ten minutes since Rosa entered the bathroom, and the test only takes six minutes to show results.
“Uh, yeah. Come in.”
Amy feels a flood of immediate relief hit her as she opens the door quickly, stepping inside the bright bathroom. Rosa still has her back to her so Amy can’t see her face, but she seems to be fairly calm which Amy can only assume is a good thing.
“So, what does it say?” Amy asks, trying not to jump to conclusions.
“Um,” Rosa hums quietly. Amy watches nervously as she picks up the test, as though double checking the results, before she turns around to face Amy. Her face is even paler than it was before if that is actually possible. “Um, it’s positive. I’m pregnant.”
“Oh.” Amy says for what feels like the thousandth time tonight.
Rosa’s expression cracks slowly, her eyebrows drawing together first, followed by her lips curving downwards into a frown, and then finally, a tear rolls down her cheek and she releases a single wail.
“Oh! Rosa!” Amy exclaims, covering her mouth with her hand. “It’s okay.” She rushes towards the detective, opening her arms, and Rosa needs no encouragement before falling into Amy’s embrace, her body quivering. “It’s okay.”
Carefully, Amy pulls Rosa down to the ground with her, lowering them both into a sitting position without having to remove her friend’s head from her chest. They stay there for a while, Rosa wrapped in Amy’s arms as she sobs, Amy stroking her hair, neither of them talking. It’s strange because Amy had always known Rosa had feelings (she had stopped trying to hide them as much around the squad after all) but to see her so vulnerable is a shock to the system. Not uncomfortable, though. On the contrary, comforting Rosa feels completely natural to Amy. Over the past few years, Rosa has been one of her main support systems, and Amy considers her one of her best friends. It is clear to her, sitting in the middle of her bathroom floor while Rosa’s tears soak through her sweater, that she would do absolutely anything for her friend. Anything at all.
⁓
Amy isn’t sure how much time passes by before Rosa pulls away, sniffling and drying her face off with the sleeve of her shirt.
“Sorry.” Rosa says simply, her voice hoarse.
“Please don’t apologise,” Amy says softly, offering Rosa a supportive smile.
Rosa sighs. “I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do.”
“That’s okay. You don’t have to decide right now.” Amy replies, nodding.
Rosa is silent for a moment, before suddenly blurting out, “It’s Pimento’s.” She pauses. “Adrian’s. I guess we weren’t being as careful as we should’ve been. It’s embarrassing, really. I should’ve known better.”
“You don’t have to be embarrassed, Rosa.” Amy says firmly. “Every woman has taken risks they maybe shouldn’t have, whether they admit to it or not. It doesn’t make you dumb, and you don’t always have to ‘know better’.”
Rosa looks at Amy, her eyes red and raw, and the corner of her mouth tugs up into a small smile. “Thanks, Santiago. For everything.”
“You’d do the same for me.” Amy smiles, and she believes in the words she says one hundred percent.
“Damn right.” Rosa nods once, before sighing. “I don’t even know where the hell he is. Pimento, I mean. He kind of… took off after I ended things.”
“We can find him,” Amy says brightly, and then her smile falters and she considers Rosa’s situation, the choice she has to make. “If… if that’s what you want.”
Rosa knits her eyebrows together, clearly understanding what Amy is insinuating. “I don’t know what I want.”
The words she says and the look on her face tell Amy two completely different stories, so she says what she said when Rosa told her she wanted to break up with Pimento. “I think you do.”
The words are simple, but they seem to resonate within Rosa, and Amy watches as her shoulders relax and she exhales dramatically. “I guess you’re right.”
Amy smiles, reaching out to rub Rosa’s upper arm comfortingly. “Your body, your choice.” She says simply, giving Rosa a nod of encouragement. “I’ll hold your hand through it all, no matter what.”
Rosa says nothing but pulls Amy in for what might be the tightest hug of her life so far, and this might be the best way Rosa Diaz has ever expressed her gratitude for Amy ever.
⁓
By the time Jake returns from work, Amy and Rosa are sat on sofa, the latter fast asleep with her head in the formers lap. When Jake enters the room, Amy immediately shushes him, gesturing towards their friend and colleague with a tiny smile on her face.
“What?” Jake whispers, confusion evident on his face as he looks between Amy and Rosa. “Is that Rosa?”
Amy nods her head. “Yeah. Don’t ask. She’s had a rough day.” She smooths her hand over Rosa’s dark hair gently. “Just let her sleep.”
Jake’s face softens as he heads towards the two of them, placing a kiss to Amy’s forehead. “No questions asked.” He says finally with a nod of the head. “But is she alright now?”
Amy glances down at her friend, maybe the best friend she’s ever had in her life, and smiles slightly. “Yeah,” she whispers to Jake, her eyes never leaving Rosa. “Yeah. I think she will be.” Amy will make sure of it.