Archive of Our Own

"M-miraculous Ladybug." She said, her whole body shaking as she threw her Lucky Charm - a spade - into the air. 

The red ladybugs flew around, cleansing everything the last Akuma had damaged. And evaporated. 

A moment later, Chat Noir stood in front of her, after having gotten incapacitated during the battle.

"Whew. That was a toughie." He was grinning. 

He was grinning. He was acting like she just hadn't seen him die for no reason , and like she hadn't been fighting by herself for the past half hour. 

"Pound it!" He raised his fist, not noticing the inner turmoil she was experiencing. 

"Are you serious right now?!" She yelled in his face. 

He visibly flinched, his jaw dropping a little, but he didn't drop his fist.

"You go and throw yourself at the villain without thinking and you just come up to me and act like nothing HAPPENED?!" She shouted.

"Ladybug, wait, I-" 

She didn't want to listen to whatever explanation he was going to give. She didn't have time for any of this. She had been telling him since the beginning of time to not get himself killed, and he NEVER listened to her. 

A month into her being a guardian, and it had only gotten worse. 

"Just forget it!" She wrung her hands, glaring at him. "I have to go." Her voice grew smaller and more pitiful and she swung away, leaving a dumbstruck Chat Noir still holding up his fist for her to bump.

"What is going on with her??" Adrien asked out loud as he landed in his room. 

"Girls. You know how they are." Plagg made a beeline for his cheese. 

"No, Plagg. Not Ladybug." Adrien said defensively. "Look, she's been really irritable and distracted over the past month. We barely patrol together, we don't talk as much as we used to, she's getting more snappy at me for making harmless jokes whether it is during the battle or not, it's gotten so bad we've actually stopped talking and directing each other while fighting." Adrien pointed out, holding his head. "Nowadays it feels like we just finish our parts of a group project than work together."

"Give her a break!! She literally just got a huge responsibility handed out to her!" Plagg said. "It's only been three weeks since Fu left. No wonder she's mad and snappy. Those kwamis are quite the delight." He added sarcastically. 

"I've tried to talk to her about it, you know." Adrien mumbled. "I've tried asking how things are going. She just changes the subject or yells at me for not focusing."

"To be fair, you ask those things when you are supposed to be fighting." Plagg said. 

"When else do I get to talk to her??" Adrien snapped. "She ignores me during patrols other than to order me around. Atleast I haven't changed like she has." 

Plagg continue chewing his cheese as Adrien stared at his feet in silence.

"Maybe....maybe she needs some distraction." Adrien said suddenly. 

"Distraction?? Don't tell me you're going to ask her on a date!" 

"And what if I am?" 

"She!! Doesn't!! Love!! You!!" 

"No, this is different. I'm only going to ask her to that ball the Mayor is holding in honor of Ladybug and Chat Noir being around for three years. This is just for a change in environment. Nothing else."

"I'm not sure she'll see it that way...." Plagg said nervously. 

"No, Plagg, this is perfect!" Adrien said, perking up. "She just needs a little bit of fun after the stress she's been through. It will definitely help." He grew more hopeful. "I'm asking her tonight." 

Plagg groaned. Where was Tikki when he needed her?                  

Ladybug paced the rooftops, muttering to herself. 

She had been extremely short with Chat Noir over the few weeks, and she knew it. 

Maybe he shouldn't have been so reckless, but he also didn't deserve to get yelled for it. 

When he came over, she was going to explain herself and be on her way. 

If he came, that is. 

They had been doing separate patrols, and that was mostly because it was peaceful that way. She could catch up on some fresh air for a while before going back to finding a way to deal with the Miracle box. 

And her homework.

And her three projects. 

And her unfinished designs. 

She dropped down on the roof to sit there, her head spinning. 

Alya had come over today to rave about Ladybug's new battle, and Marinette had managed to throw the Miracle box into her closet out of her sight just in time. 

And that was not the only instance. 

The girls had been hanging out with her a lot, and she couldn't fault them for that, according to them, they were helping her get over Adrien, who she had given up on pursuing. They thought her fragile moods, her temper, the eye bags were from heartbreak. 

Well, they weren't completely wrong. Trying to get over Adrien had hurt. It had hurt even more to watch him laugh and smile with Kagami. She didn't know what their relationship was like, exactly, but she didn't want to find out. 

She didn't speak to them unless she was spoken to by either of them, and she managed to get through those conversations without breaking a nerve. All one had to was smile and nod. 

Sometimes she wished Adrien was an insufferable jerk, instead of the kind, sweet, amazing guy he was. It would make it so much easier for her to avoid him, to hate him, to laugh at herself for having ever liked him.

All Adrien had to do was smile at her kindly, ask her how her day went, and she was a goner. 

"Ladybug?" 

She looked up at the voice calling out to her. 

"Chat Noir?" She echoed.

He was standing behind her, looking straight ahead at the sunset, instead of her. 

"Nice view, huh?" 

She followed his line of sight. The sun was setting, leaving behind the sky with gorgeous pink-orange hues. 

Any other day, she would have agreed. Today she realised she hadn't really bothered to look.

"Are you okay?" Chat Noir asked her, when she didn't answer. 

Ladybug didn't know the answer to that question. 

Many people asked her that question. Adrien, Alya, Nino, Kagami, Luka....she could nod and say yes, she indeed was fine. 

Chat Noir asked her that question too. And yet, she couldn't answer him. 

She really didn't have time to.

He sat down next to her, making her acutely aware that she hadn't answered or acknowledged him.

"So..." He cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you this morning." She interrupted him.

"Oh. Oh, right. Yeah." He cleared his throat. "This morning...happened." 

She raised an eyebrow at him. "And?" 

"It's fine. Really." He shook his head. "No harm done." 

"Good." Ladybug nodded. "I'm glad." 

"Yeah." He said. 

"Yeah." She repeated. 

And thus, the first proper conversation they had in weeks, began. 

"So...have you heard that the mayor is holding a ball for our three year anniversary?" He began awkwardly. 

"Yes, I have. Kind of impossible not to, because his daughter is going about raging on social media on how she's going to upstage me with her designer clothing." She said bitterly. 

He chuckled a little at that. Well, she supposed it was sort of funny. 

"She won't have to worry, though. I'm not going to be there to 'upstage' her." 

"Yeah, I mean - wait what?" Chat Noir froze.

"I'm not going." Ladybug repeated.

"Why- why not?" Chat Noir sputtered. "We've gone there the last two years." 

"Yeah? I don't want to go this year." Ladybug rested her chin underneath her palm. "Go without me, if you want to. Say I got sick or something."

"Ladybug..." Chat Noir said in a low voice. "I know things are hard right now, but that doesn't mean you have to shut yourself away from everyone." 

She raised an eyebrow. "Is it really that hard for you to believe that I just don't want to go? What good will even come out of it? Chloe's just going to throw a fit and throw both of us out anyway." 

"Believe it or not, even Chloe can't do that. The mayor is kind of obligated to do it. The only reason he's doing it, despite his daughter being disgraced is because there will be public protests if he doesn't." 

Ladybug was getting more annoyed by the minute. "I don't want to go, Chat Noir. Drop it." 

"Why not? What's wrong with having a bit of fun once in a while? It will do you some good, especially with everything that's going on." He hadn't meant to be harsh, but he was getting fed up too. 

"Don't you dare patronize me." Ladybug snapped, getting up and staring him down. "And fun? Fun?? We can't have fun!! We have a job to do here! I can't go to parties and waste time like you!" 

"Like 'me' ?" He growled. 

She had hit a nerve, and she hadn't meant to, but she couldn't change what she said. 

"You actually think I'm asking you to go because I want to slack off??" He got up as well, brushing off the dust from his suit. 

"What's wrong with having a bit of fun once in a while?" She quoted him. "Hey, you're the one who said it." 

"I was only asking because I thought it would get you to chill out for a while!" He shot back. 

"Chill out?? What do you mean 'chill out'?" She asked, affronted. 

"I can't even have a decent conversation with you these days without getting scared that you are going to blow up!" He accused, jabbing a finger in her direction. "No matter what I do or say you find a way to turn it into a shouting match!! I can't even invite you to a ball without getting yelled at, excuse me for thinking about both our sakes-" 

"What do you expect me to do other than yell?! You are always joking around and punning at the most inappropriate times!! You get yourself killed -" 

"I get myself killed so that YOU don't!!" 

"I don't care!! It doesn't change the fact that you die and I'm left to pick up the pieces by myself!!" She shouted, and Chat recoiled, like he had been slapped. 

She let out a tiny sniffle, it wasn't loud, but it was significant enough for him to notice the first crack in the walls she had built up. 

"Ladybug-" 

"And that's not all! How can you expect me to have a smile on my face when everything is crumbling around me?! My best friend nearly caught me holding the box today!! My parents and friends are worried about me and I can't tell them anything!" 

"What about me, then?" He said, his voice at a normal level again. "Yeah, you can't tell them anything, but you won't tell me." 

"I - you -" Ladybug stammered, but he had a point too. And she realised it.

"I'm just trying to make sure that we aren't broken too." Chat muttered. "I try to talk to you, you avoid the subject, you vent out your frustrations, cool, I'm ok with that too, I try to help you ignore things and help you catch a break, I get yelled at. This....is there an end to this? Will we ever go back to the people we were before?"

Ladybug breathed heavily, the energy she used up to scream taking its toll on her. 

"Face it. We've changed. The situation has changed." 

"I haven't." He said quietly. "I still want to help you. I just wish you don't cast me off when I am only trying to help. It's not making matters easier for either of us." 

Ladybug didn't answer. 

If she did let him in....he would have to suffer through the consequences too. For her mistake. 

And if she let him in, she would have to let go of the wall she built for herself. 

And she didn't want to let that go. Stepping out of her comfort zone, the zone with her responsibilities, and her stupid feelings for her crush and her mistakes into whatever was there outside of it....

She was fine on her own. She became a guardian on her own, and she could get through it on her own. Even if that meant being alone. 

"We should..." Her voice broke for second there. "We should really stick to helping each other out only during battles. And leave the rest of the other person's business to themselves." 

Chat Noir stilled. "What?" 

"Don't give me that look. We're superheroes. It's our job. I'm a guardian. That's MY job. I can handle it on my own. I can't tell or do much with you anyway without jeopardizing my identity." 

His brows underneath the mask scowled heavily. "So what you are saying is...you don't trust me enough to tell me things?"

"I don't HAVE to tell you anything." She narrowed her eyes. 

"Yeah, just enough to keep me at arm's length, just like everyone else in your civilian life, I presume." He snarled. 

"Don't give me that, okay?? I'm going through enough! This isn't about you!" Ladybug snapped. 

Chat glared at her coldly for a while, trying to find a way to reply and one-up her, so she'd realise that he wasn't always going to put up with being pushed around. 

"Fine." He said, bitterly, turning his back on her. "We'll see each other during the next Akuma. Whenever that is." 

"Really? You're giving me the cold shoulder now?" She said disdainfully. "I told you, this. isn't. personal!" 

"Too bad." He scoffed. "It is to me." He extended his staff. 

"Fine, leave then! Go on, continue being childish!" She said angrily. 

"Good night, Ladybug." He called her by her full name, which was what he was using to address her for quite a while, just to rub it in even more. He didn't say anything more. She wasn't worth it. He leaped off the roof in the direction of his home.                                                 

The kwamis of creation and destruction spent that night tucking in their sobbing, distraught owners to sleep.