Work Text:
Anniversary Flowers
Now, if there was one thing that BB-8 observed it was that his parents were always arguing. Not in an angry way, just in a normal old-couple-bickering sort of way. There was never any real tension—not that he gathered and not that the humans and other sentient species sensed or observed. But today, today was different.
It was a leisurely, sunny day. BB-8 knew this because his inner wiring heated up faster and hotter than usual. The sun’s rays shone bright against a cloudless blue sky. Many of the rebels were wearing short sleeves, or their orange jumpsuits and other long-sleeved pieces were tied at the waist, swapped out for tank tops on sweat-dappled skin. BB-8 never understood why humans leaked from their skin when they were hot, or why they leaked from their eyes when they were sad or very, very happy. For a droid, leaking was a bad sign.
Anyway, it was a sunny warm day, and the Resistance was still celebrating the First Order’s recent defeat. They were laughing and talking happily, and eating, drinking and playing games. The environment was pleasant. BB-8 was playing with D-O, rolling around on the dirt, when C-3PO came a-shuffling passed him yelling in an outrage, “R2-D2 WHERE ARE YOU!? Uggh! THAT STUPID LUMP! When I find him, he’s getting a circuit-full! How dare he leave me!”
BB-8 rolled in front of him with D-O close behind, stopped and asked, “Why are you upset, Mama? What’s wrong?”
He sighed, “BB-8, D-O, have you seen Artoo anywhere?”
“No.”
“Nope. Uh uh.” D-O added.
“Of course not!” C-3PO exclaimed, exasperated, “He’s been gone since this morning! I can’t believe he’d leave on such an important day!”
BB-8’s fans and gears went in a dizzy and he beeped and whistled, “What’s so special about today compared to other ones? Isn’t it just like any other normal day?”
“No, IT isn’t!” C-3PO threw his hands up in desperation and raised his voice. BB-8 started backing away slightly. He’d made Mama upset which meant it was time to roll away “It’s our ANNIVERSARY for the Maker’s sake! And he’s gone and run off! I can’t believe him!”
“You’re what-a- huh-huh Mama?”
“Anniversary. An-ni-ver-sa-ry.” C-3PO repeated.
“Ani…ami..aniversal-pffft!” in a failed attempt to beep a pattern that sounded vaguely like the word, BB-8 stumbled over the syllables and finished with raspberries, “What does that mean?”
“Well…how to explain…when two people are together or married, they celebrate the date in which they married or started courting. If they’re just courting it’s by month, but if they’re married, it’s celebrated every year. You know how humans celebrate their birthdays or the same holidays every year? It’s sort of like that. Since we’ve been together so long, we thought we would start having anniversaries. And also, since my memory is still a bit compromised—we also thought that by celebrating an anniversary it would help somehow. That the consistency might bring back memories, and the “holiday” would give us an excuse to reminisce about all our years together, I suppose. Silly idea, but it was Artoo’s, so it makes sense why it’s slightly ridiculous…”
“You agreed to it.” said D-O dryly.
“Well- that doesn’t— I did but—I didn’t come up with it! Still…it was sweet of him…but of course he’s not here for the holiday he came up with! That twerp. If he commits to something, he’s usually very adamant on seeing it through to the end…so I don’t understand why he’s gone and hasn’t kept his word…especially for something this important…” his voice fell. BB-8 thought his tone sounded kind of sad.
“Well maybe D-O and me can celebrate it with you instead? Since Dad’s not here?”
C-3PO sighed, “That’s very kind of you BB-8, but it wouldn’t be the same. It’s not our anniversary if R2 and I don’t celebrate together.” his tone dropped and trailed off, “If you see him, let me know, so I can scold him.”
“Okay…”
With that, Threepio shuffled off, leaving the two smaller droids behind.
BB-8 turned to D-O and beep-booped, “Poor Mama. I hope Dad turns up soon. He does like to wander off on his own sometimes though. But he always comes back. I know Mama knows that too. I wonder what Dad’s doing…What do you think, D-O?”
“Help Mama.” D-O said.
“Help Mama? Good idea! We’ll look too! Let’s go ask everybody to help us!” With a happy, “Wheee!” BB-8 rolled off towards the direction of the main camp area.
They began asking around, starting first by questioning other droids. But alas, no other Droids had seen him. They asked some of the other rebels that weren’t droids, but no one could really understand BB-8’s beeping. Next, they went and asked Poe-Poe and Fin-Fin. They were doing an activity called “kissing”—which was an activity C-3PO had said both the little Droids were much to young to witness. He also said it could lead to all manner of things which other humans deemed as inappropriate and dangerous, such as the making of babies—and that the last thing the galaxy needed was more humans. Not wanting them to get into trouble, or to be in danger, BB-8 used a tiny electric shock to get their attention. Poe jumped and pulled back in surprise.
“Shit! Ya snuck up on us, BB-8.” said Poe.
“Kissing is dangerous. It leads to babies.” BB-8 replied, “Be careful.”
“What? Who told you that?”
“Wait, what did he say?” Finn asked. Poe turned and repeated it. The two men exchanged befuddled glances, before spluttering out in laughter. Once they had composed themselves, Poe knelt down and asked, “Okay…anyway…What’s going on buddy? Do you need something?”
“Have you seen my dad? My mom is looking for him. You see it’s supposed to be their amnioversary today but my dad’s not here, and Mama is upset because he thinks that Dad forgot about him and he’s confused why he’s not here right now when he usually follows commitments he makes through.”
Poe studied the little droid for a moment, trying his best to make sense of what was said, before he finally replied, “I got less than half of that but from what I do understand, you’re asking me if I’ve seen Artoo, right?”
“Yeah.”
“I think I saw him go into the forest.” Finn said, “Try checking there.”
“Thanks Finn-Finn and Poe-Poe!” BB-8 beeped happily, “Come on D-O hurry!”, and he went rolling away with the tiny green and white droid trailing behind.
-xXx-
On their adventure into the forest, BB-8 and D-O found Rey-Rey. She was practicing with her new orange lightsaber. When she saw them, she stopped and put the weapon away for a moment.
“Hello you two. What are you doing out here?” she asked.
BB-8 tried to explain through his usual pattern of beeps, but Rey-Rey didn’t understand him as well as Poe-Poe could. Luckily, D-O was there to help out.
“Find R2.” he said.
“R2?” Rey replied, “Oh. He went farther into the forest. He said something about flowers, I think. He left awhile ago. He should be back soon.”
BB-8 beeped happily again. “Thanks Rey-Rey! Let’s go, D-O!” And so, they went.
-xXx-
Meanwhile, back at camp, C-3PO was growing more and more upset and frantic by the minute. He had been frantically searching and asking around with no luck. It was starting to get dark, and now his whole family were gone from the camp: BB-8, D-O, and R2. He had forgone his diplomacy and etiquette for something of frenzied, flustered “panic”.
Presently, he had found Finn and Poe and he was spluttering and rambling at them for answers.
“Threepio, shut up for one second!” Poe exclaimed sharply. The gold droid fell silent.
“BB-8 and D-O went looking for Artoo in the forest awhile ago.” said Finn. This did nothing to help. Threepio’s gears and fans began to spin and whir faster and faster, losing control and going into overdrive the same way they always did when he panicked.
“The forest!? Oh dear, oh dear! Those foolish children! What are they doing!? The woods are dangerous! Full of all sorts of poisonous plants and strange beasts! I must go after them at once! Oh, what a dreadful anniversary this has been! The worst! I never want to celebrate again…” he turned and started to shuffle-run through the clearing, making his way towards the ever-growing density of green foliage, with as much haste as he could with his stiff joints “When I get my hands on those three, I swear by the Maker I’m going to…to…to give them a scolding they’ll never forgot! Not ever!”
-xXx-
Back in the forest, Rey was observing a peculiar sight. The three droids had returned, R2-D2 had a massive bouquet of gorgeous, multi-colored flowers they’d found, and he was carrying them in his grabbing claw.
She couldn’t hide her smile, “Well, what’s all this about?”
“Threepio.” said D-O, “For Anniversary.”
“Anniversary?”
Just then, a frantic voice broke through the clearing, “D-O, BB-8! COME OUT! R2-D2, WHERE ARE YOU!? SHOW YOURSELF THIS INSTANT! I’VE HAD QUITE ENOUGH OF THIS BRASH BEHAVIOR COMING FROM Y—” He was cut off when he saw them.
“There you are! For the Maker’s sake! Where in the BLOODY GALAXY have you been!?”
R2 whistled at the sound of C-3PO cursing. Then, just to push more buttons he replied with a vague: Out.
“OUT!? Just out!? Oh no! You had better explain yourself! I want answers! And you two—” he turned to address the smaller droids, “You should know better than to wander off in the forest alone!”
“We weren’t alone the whole time.” BB-8 said, “We found Rey-Rey and Dad.”
“It doesn’t matter who you were with or when you were with them, it’s still dangerous to wander off!”
“Sorry.” said D-O.
BB-8 let out a sad hum and drooped his saucer-shaped head, his lens pointed down to the forest floor, “We’re sorry…” he added.
C-3PO sighed, “Just don’t do it again.” Then, he turned back to face Artoo, “And you! How could you wander off today of all days…have you forgotten how special today is!? You see everything through to the end all the time so why did you…how could you…”
“Aww, shit, Threepio. I’m sorry, I should have said something…but I wanted it to be a surprise. Of course, I didn’t forget about our Anniversary. It’s just as important to me as it is to you. That’s why I left this morning. I wanted to get you a present. Chewie told me about some pretty flowers he and the porgs saw on a walk one day, so I went to go and find them. They’re popular anniversary gifts among the humans so…” He rolled up to the protocol droid with the massive bouquet, and extended the claw, holding the flowers out to him, “Happy Anniversary, Velvet Goldbabe. These are for you.”
With a whir of machinery, gold hands took them from the smaller droid. R2 retracted his silver limb. C-3PO started speaking, “You made a special trip to the dangerous forest to find flowers…just for me?” his voice softened immediately, with the smallest of tremors, and he tightened his grip on the bouquet, pressing it into his metallic chest.
“Of course, ya worry-wired mess.” Artoo replied jokingly, “I found the flowers I was looking for, for the Droid I adore.”
“Oh…my goodness…I…I’m speechless…I…oh dear me…what do I even say…?”
“Sorry and thank you.” Rey piped in. They all stiffened. For they had forgotten she was there for a moment.
C-3PO glanced at her before facing the blue and white astromech again, “I’m sorry, Artoo. If I would have known you had gone to get me flowers, I wouldn’t have…”
“Nah. It’s alright. I figured you’d freak out. I knew the second I left without saying anything. I expected nothing less. Plus, like I said, it would have ruined the surprise if I had told ya. Ya know?”
“Well, yes, but…you could have at least told someone where you were going! I was under the impression that something horrible had happened because you all hadn’t come back yet!”
“I did tell someone. Chewie knew.” R2 replied.
C-3PO replied, “He did?” he scoffed, “Oh! That wooly, matted brute! I asked him and he said he didn’t know where you were! He lied to me!”
“Only to keep the surprise a secret, I’m sure.” Rey reassured with a small chuckle.
C-3PO sighed, “A secret? Hmmph. I don’t like secrets. But you’re probably right Miss Rey. Even so. The least someone could have done was tell me it was a surprise, instead of leaving me to spend a whole day believing our Anniversary had been forgotten…and that something terrible happened instead…” he turned back to the other droids, “But…it wasn’t forgotten. I know that now…” he looked down at the flowers and gave the stalks another squeeze, “Thank you, Artoo. Truly. I appreciate these flowers very much. You didn’t need to get me anything, but I…thank you. I’m terribly sorry though, I don’t have anything to give you.”
“Kiss.” R2 said.
“Excuse me?”
“A kiss.”
“A kiss!? Well, I never! That’s impossible. I can’t kiss you! It would be terribly indecent! There are three others here! Two of which are far too young to witness something as intimate as a kiss.”
Before anyone could respond, Rey intervened, “I’ll take these two back to camp with me, it’s nearly dinner. BB-8, D-O, come on. It’s their anniversary, let’s leave them alone. They’ll follow us.” She walked past them. For a moment the two little droids didn’t follow.
“Well, go on, ya rascals, get outta here~ We’ll be right behind ya.” R2 added, casting a warning electric spark that didn’t touch anyone. And so, with the series of blissful beeps, the little droids scurried. BB-8 and D-O hurried along, following the young woman. Once they were alone R2 said,
“Well, they’re gone. So? Are ya gonna kiss me or not? It’s like a hundred years overdue.”
“How would I…?”
“You’re clever. Figure it out.”
Gears spun in Threepio’s head, eventually overriding the “this is ridiculous” mantra. And finally, his hand found the top of R2’s leg, as it usually did, and the gold droid bent forward and pressed his nose and mouthpiece against R2’s radar eye—such was their strange way of a kiss. With the smooth touch of metal to metal, signals passed through Artoo’s wiring, enveloping his small body like a lovely blanket. He whistled with contentment.
After this peculiar contact, C-3PO painstakingly and slowly straightened his back to his normal standing position, and he said “Well…that was strange in an oddly pleasant way.” he commented. And, with a smile in his voice, he added, “Happy Anniversary, Artoo."