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    Summary

    Based on this prompt from the kinkmeme:

    The whole Bastille encounter was entirely orchestrated by Aziraphale.

    He can't pursue Crowley romantically due to them being on different sides; but being taken by force by a demon while unable to perform miracles is the perfect excuse for them both. He even refuses to directly inform Crowley beforehand to maximise the chances of it being natural enough for Hell.

    Except Crowley doesn't have a mean bone in his body, and Aziraphale really needs to sell what a defenceless, stupid, horny little tart he is.

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