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The Warriors of Stank

Summary:

The adventures of amateur adventurers somehow chosen by fate who battle personal baggage, chronic motion sickness, too many monsters, constant death, allergies and an empty wallet to become the Warriors of Light.

Chapter 1: Prologue

Chapter Text

The stench of monster, blood, sweat and fire swirled around Ash. The left side of her armor had been clawed off and her shield lay chipped and warped off to the side. The smoke rising from both the monster and the patches of fire from Gluten’s last Flare was thick in her eyes and nose, making her lightheaded.
She glanced around frantically for her friends. Gluten was sprawled face-down, dead, over a downed column, her hat drooping over her face. Ariella crawled slowly across the ground towards Gluten, white light gathering in her hands as she prepared to cast Life. Kai was nowhere to be seen.
A loud roar from the monster had Ash whipping back around. Chaos spread his wings and threw his head back, and a rain of monster fluids fell on the party as he wheeled around the ruins once and headed straight for Ariella. Ash scrambled to her feet and grabbed her sword, limping towards the white wizard as fast as possible. She couldn’t let Ariella die. Not when literally nobody else in the party could learn Life or ever bothered to stock up on phoenix down before coming to the battle....
A flash of red streaked by as Kai appeared from nowhere, drop-kicking Chaos across the ruins by his face. The monster roared in pain as he was propelled into the wall. Ash sighed in relief as Kai landed gracefully in front of Ariella and Gluten, who was starting to come to under Ariella’s hands. She pulled a potion out of her pocket and tossed it to Ash, who broke the bottle over her head. A cool sensation washed over her as her wounds healed.
Across the ruins, Chaos pulled himself free from the wall, snarling. Kai, Ash and Ariella all looked at each other worriedly. Gluten waved her arms pitifully and moaned.
“He should go down soon,” Kai called out to Ash. “We’ve been beating at him for ages now. If Gluten weren’t still down we could finish this now.”
“Well, ‘scuse me,” Gluten coughed, voice slurring as she tried to prop herself up. She immediately toppled over and a wound somewhere burst open, showering herself, Ariella and Kai in a mini-fountain of blood.
Ariella smacked her and pulled out a potion. “Stay down while I fix this!”
Chaos roared and reared up. All four warriors flinched and gripped their weapons tighter.
Ash lifted her sword. “Ari, cast Protera. Gluten, as soon as you’re with us I want you to cast the nukes. Kai, back me up. We’re taking him down.”
Ariella summoned golden light in her hands and cast it upwards, enveloping the party. “Protera, cast!”
Gluten weakly raised a hand, darkness and sparks swirling at her fingertips. “Flare loaded, firing on command.”
Kai nodded and readied her sword. “On your count. Let’s take this sucker down!”
Chaos leapt at them, claws and wings extended. Ash pulled down her face guard. “Now!”
She and Kai launched themselves up, meeting Chaos in mid-air. They flew past his claws, Kai’s mask catching and tearing away and Ash’s other shoulder-guard following with a hollow clang, to land heavy slashes on his face and one of his shoulders. Chaos screeched in pain and Ash turned to look back over her shoulder. “Gluten, now!”
Explosions rocked the ruins and bloomed all around Chaos, bringing down surrounding columns and chunks of ceiling as well. Chaos howled as one especially large piece struck him square in the back, knocking him directly into the biggest blast. It expanded in a mushroom cloud of smoke, dust and flames and burned Ash’s face and retinas until all she could see and feel was searing white as she free-fell towards the ground in slow motion.

“...up. Hey, it’s almost noon already, wake up.”
Ash blinked as the blurry image of Ariella came into view. The white mage hovered over her with a steaming mug in hand. She was already wearing her white-and-red robe and had her staff in hand.
“Finally, you’re awake,” she said. She handed Ash the mug of what smelled like tea. “Gluten and Kai are already waiting in the lobby.”
Ash blinked again and felt around her. She slowly took in the soft bed, the wood ceiling, and the voices chattering from behind the door. The Cornelia Inn.
“I had the weirdest dream last night,” she mumbled as she slurped her tea and felt around for her gear. “We were in some kind of ruins fighting this really big monster with wings and horns or something. I think Gluten was dead and Kai was a ninja or something like that and we were all really banged up. Oh, but you brought Gluten back to life and she started throwing nukes at the monster and stuff…”
“That sounds like fun,” Ariella replied and handed Ash her bag. “Hopefully this whole saving the world thing doesn’t end like that. Let’s get going. I think Gluten’s getting hungry.”
A short black mage and a slender thief sat waiting in the lobby and stood as the other two came in. The black mage, Gluten, ran over with a brochure in hand. “Morning, you two. So I know we’re in a bit of a rush to head towards Pravoka, but would you mind if we stopped to eat first? There’s a delish-looking bacon and eggs platter at this restaurant down the street and I’ve been dying to go while we’re here.”
“We were supposed to leave an hour ago,” Kai said. “If we leave now, we can still make it before nightfall. Gluten, there’s jerky in the bag, you can eat that until we get there. Good sleep, Ash?”
“Yeah, the bed was nice,” Ash replied. “Is it really that late already?”
Kai nodded, glancing at the clock on the wall. “Yup. Don’t worry, Gluten and Ariella just woke up too. The rooms here are really nice.”
“If we’re short on time we should get going,” Ariella said. “We should grab a bite before we go, though.”
Ash shrugged. “Sounds good to me. Okay, you all have your crystals, right?”
They all nodded and held out their hands. The crystals glowed, blue, emerald, crimson, and gold in their palms. These crystals were what had summoned them from their corners of the world to meet each other in Cornelia, and were said to herald the coming of the Four Warriors of Light. Always, they had prayed for the Warriors to come as they watched the seas rage, the winds fall silent, the earth decay, and unexplained fires start up around the world. Never, though, had they thought it might be them.
“This is weird,” Kai murmured first. “I always thought the Warriors of Light would be some over-powered super-knights from someplace or other.”
“I still think the crystals chose wrong,” Gluten muttered. “At least, mine has terrible judgement.”
“Do you think we can live up to this?” Ariella wondered out loud. “I mean, saving the world’s kind of a big deal.”
“Well, whether we think we can or not, the crystals chose us,” Ash said, putting her crystal in her pocket. “We’re the Warriors of Light now. The whole world is counting on us.”
“No pressure or anything,” Gluten muttered, tucking hers back into her sleeve. “We don’t even know what we’re supposed to be doing.”
Kai stuffed hers into her bag and headed for the door. “Well, we should probably get going if we want to catch breakfast before we have to go.”
Ariella slipped hers into her robe collar and followed her. “Where is this restaurant, anyway? If we want to eat before we really have to leave, then we should go now.”
“I hope the food’s cheap,” Gluten piped up. “The rooms here are nice but I literally have five gil left after one night.”
“How? The rate here isn’t even that much!”
“Hey, I forgot my wallet when I left home okay?”
“So you fight monsters and loot their bodies!”
“Okay, first of all that’s disgusting. Second of all, magic takes up mana points so there’s only so many times I’m allowed to nuke monsters…”
“Don’t worry about it, I can spot you. Food here can’t be that expensive…”