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Stiles hadn't expected to walk out of those ruins, out of that hellhole and see Derek alive.
He'd expected bloodied lips, sightless eyes and pale skin on an unmoving body. He'd expected Braeden crying and the ground to be stained red with the blood of a human.
So seeing him, seeing Derek standing in a brilliant blue henley, and yes blue is just pretty, and smiling at them as they all make their way over rock and debris… it knocks the air from his lungs.
Scott looks at him with wide and surprised eyes, half-moving towards him with aborted movements, and Stiles can see his lips moving... but he hears nothing as he keeps looking at Derek.
Derek who is alive.
Who is breathing.
And Stiles can't stop himself from sinking to the ground, nor the tears from pricking his eyes as he tries to force air back into his lungs with wheezing breaths that hurt his chest with sharp movements.
Malia is crowding him from his side. He can see her hands gesturing frantically at Scott but he still hears nothing as Derek is suddenly lurching towards him, and there's concern on his face that makes Stiles's stomach roll as Derek drops to his knees in front of him.
He's speaking, Stiles watches his mouth contort into words, but he still hears nothing as he just reaches out with a shaking hand to touch Derek's face gently despite Malia reaching to pull it away.
"I'm fine, I'm fine."
Derek's words ring in his head. They match the image of Derek lying against the debris with blood dripping from his wounds and his mouth as he tries to convince them he's okay, tries to convince them he's not dying.
"I'll be right behind you."
A lie. Stiles knew it was a lie when Derek had said it. He's seen enough wounds to know that Derek wasn't going to make it. He's heard Derek lie enough times to know when he's not speaking the truth. It doesn't make any sense, he can't of made it, he can't be alive.
And yet here he is, talking to Stiles rapidly as Stiles tries to breathe, as he clutches his chest and shakes his head because this can't be true.
"Go… Go!"
No. Stiles hadn't wanted to. He'd wanted nothing more than to drop to Derek side. To crush his hands against a wound that was far too deep it was fatal. Had wanted to scream at Derek and tell him to live, live goddamit, totell him he has to survive, that his time can't be over.
"Hey, hey… save him."
He's shaking his head because he has to be fucking crazy. He has to have walked out of that ruin completely and utterly batshit for this to be true. Maybe the Nogitsune is back, maybe it's messing with him, maybe he's finally succumbed to whatever darkness has been gnawing at the back of his head since he was possessed, maybe this isn't real and he's finally finally fell off that edge he's been balancing on for so long.
But the looks on the others faces is what makes him realise it's real. The shock, the fear... and he glances back to see Derek reaching out for his shoulders with so much concern and holy shit, Stiles, he's not dead.
"You bastard," he hisses as noise suddenly returns to the world in one sudden rush, as everything is suddenly clear and Derek's face comes into such sharp focus. The babble of the others stops immediately as Derek looks at him with his mouth open speechless, and Stiles doesn't think twice, doesn't think about Malia or Braeden, who're hovering over the two, before he leans forward and crushes his lips to Derek's.
Derek's gasp of surprise makes him shudder; but it's okay because Derek's alive and breathing against him, and Stiles crawls forward until he's practically in Derek's lap as he tries to kiss him, tries and tries, but sobs are racking his throat as they come out with a vengeance, ripping through his body and making his fingers limp around Derek's shirt.
Derek makes a small noise against his lips, his hands coming up to press tight against Stiles's back, and Stiles ends up pulling away until their lips are barely touching as he cries.
"Don't," he sobs, and Derek's hands are moving up and down his back soothingly. "Never again. Don't do that. I... I have to be able to save you, Derek. I have to-"
"Stiles…"
"It's how it's always been," he continues as he strokes Derek's cheeks, eyes searching his, begging him to understand. "We've always saved each other. Always. Don't-"
Derek cuts him off with another press to his lips, and Stiles kisses him back as well as he can before his head feels too heavy and he drops it to Derek's shoulder. There's no noise of complaint, only Derek's lips on his head as his hands tighten around Stiles's body, and Stiles closes his eyes to revel in the feeling of Derek alive and breathing against him.