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“But why?” Richie asks with his baby voice to Stan. Making him roll his eyes for the millionth time.
“Richie stop being such an infant and help me”, it was one of those afternoons where Richie was absolutely unbearable. They had to repair a tiny motor for their project, and even though Richie knew how to repair it in less than an hour he was letting Stan do all the job.
It was hot in Derry, Stan had to put a headband so his long curls wouldn’t touch his sweaty forehead. Richie was sweaty too, but he didn’t make “such a fuss about it” as he liked to tease Stan for.
“Come on Rich, please, I know you can fix this awfully fast and we can both get the A we deserve” Stan said, while holding the wrong screwdriver.
His friend was lying on the floor right beneath the ceiling fan. He lifted his head up and raised one eyebrow. Richie was not on the mood to work, but he was tempted to get an A on this work. His hawaiian shirt had sweat all over but he still made Stan a little flustered. He surprised himself looking too focused at Richie, and once again he was lucky Richie didn’t notice.
“I think I will help you Stan… Seems cool getting an A so easily”. He answered, after a lot of thinking. Which one can say, was weird for Richie.
“Well yeah, we are partners in this project after all, but thanks” said Stan, going back to his usual tone “…I don’t know what I would’ve done if you refused” he added as a whisper, so low only he could hear it.
Stan was always the most school oriented, aside from Ben. He was smart but his skills didn’t include fixing engines or cars. They consisted more of dark literature, chemistry, birds and fast excuse making.
Richie got up and drank what was left of his Coca Cola, he used to rant about how a boy needed his sugar when he didn’t drink it once a day. Once he was beside Stan, he was no longer all that sweaty. He pushed Stan aside and put his glasses on, the tiny motor was easy peasy compared with the ones he helped his dad repair. He started looking where it needed fixing and where just some adjustments.
Stan walked to where Richie laid, he sat down and stared at Richie while he worked, how can a boy be so stupid yet so intelligent? Mysteries of life. Stan only stared at Richie beacuse he made him wonder about human behaviour. Or that is what he convinced himself about when he caught himself being hyper aware of his best friend. Stan usually remembered many details about his friends, it was like data. He loved collecting data from them as if they were experiments. But he had this tiny obsession with Richie, unexplainable to him and rather confusing at times.
Richie looked back at Stan, noticing he was frowning. “Weird” he thought, and continued repairing the toy motor. He didn’t need half of the concentration he forced himself to have when he was repairing real motors. For a moment, he lifted his head and looked around. It hit him that Stan’s garage was basically foreign land. At least for him. It had mostly his dad’s stuff. The shelfs had old and probably broken artifacts. They had a pinning wall where they kept the tools that could hang there. The garage door was open so he could see the sunset was starting. “Nice” he thought, Richie loved sunsets as much as he loved his Hawaiian shirts. The flourescent started to flicker and Richie had to turn it off. The sound of it was starting to get annyoing. As he turned around Richie suddenly stopped, he snorted loudly. He had spotted a photo of tiny Stan in a bathtub, he looked so cute back then. He glanced at the older Stan, he still looked cute to him.
“Stan what a cutie” said Richie, referring to the bathtub photo.
Stan’s cheeks turned pink. His mind was going wild. Was he saying this out of the blue? Did he miss signs that Richie corresponded him? Then Stan stopped rapidly his train of thought. It preoccupied him that the first thought was about corresponding love feelings, he most definitely didn’t have. He decided no to rush an answer. But perhaps... It was now time to accept what he really thought of his dear friend.
Richie on the other hand, left the tools and the tiny motor to grab the photo. When Stan turned around, still with reddish cheeks and glittering eyes, he realized what Richie was talking about. He was still red, but now for a different reason.
He stood up and snatched the photo out of Richie’s hands.
“Jeez, my dad is so cheesy at times” he said, looking for a place to throw the photo into.
How stupid. Of course, Richie wasn’t talking about that sort of “cute”, and also, just because you call someone cute does not mean you like them. It was all in Stan’s overthinking brain. How could he have been so dumb? His friend was a teaser and liked to joke around with all of them. He shouldn’t have had taken him seriously. Now he had admitted feelings. Feelings he was trying so hard to keep hidden inside of him, and so deep not even him could discover them.
“I still think it was cute” Richie replied in a soft manner.
After that Richie went back to work. Stan was left standing so he walked around the room for a while before sitting down where Richie had laid, again. Stan gazed at an unbothered Richie that was almost finishing the assignment. He allowed himself to feel this time. To drown in that bubbly feeling he always got from Richie, for whatever reason. It felt both amazing and devastating. They were already seniors if it were not now maybe it would be never. He had to let Richie know. He repressed those feelings for too long.
Above Stan’s head a lightbulb turned on, and really brightly. His hands turned to fists for he was so nervous about what he was about to do. It was his chance. “Now or never Stan” he thought, reminding himself of what could be.
“I was or still am cute?” he inquired. It wasn’t exactly what he wanted to say. However, progress was progress.
“I could say you still are cute, but I rather call you sexy” he answered, with a wink.
Stan wasn’t prepared for that answer, he was never prepared for anything in the first place. Richie’s flirtatious self wasn’t in Stan’s equation. His chest was hurting because of his heart, it was pounding very hard. His eyes were wide open. The world stopped for him. Richie could be joking, although he could also be serious.
Richie was smiling and trying not to laugh at Stan’s shocked reaction. He left the nerd shocked and continued working with a grin. Huh, who knew Stan felt that way? It was obvious to him Stan had that reaction for a reason. He wasn’t sure why he played along with him. But it felt right. Stan had always been his friend. Maybe Richie did feel something special for Stan, he was a bit confused. It just felt right to flirt with Stan, and his reactions were so cute! Richie was losing his cool and fresh personality as he described himself, so he shook his head and continued working. He put his brain on a leash and stopped it from wondering to Stan.
The sunset was already ending. Wind visited the place and made the few papers inside flow with it.
Richie was giving the motor the final touches when Stan awakened from his trance. His mind flew and he was thinking about everything and nothing at the same time. If he made another step foward, his relationship with the whole Losers could change. However, he wanted his realtionship with Richie to change, and he wanted it so badly he was willing to risk everything he had. Even if a part of him was still unsure to do it, he had to try. He didn’t want to stay all his life wondering.
Richie finished the motor. As he placed it inside a box to carry it he let out a loud sigh. He was tired, and it was already getting late for him to ride home. He thought of asking Stan if he could stay over… However, he wasn’t sure it will be a very good idea. He still didn’t now were he stood. He wasn’t good-ideas-Richie but he knew when not to fuck it up when it involved friends.
“Richie I have to talk to you.” Stan blurted, he was tugging Richie’s shirt as the other one was grabbing his stuff to leave. Stan’s heart was pounding, his face was boiling, and the sun was almost completely gone. The las bits of the golden hour made everything seem more fantastical.
“Look, I don’t know since when or how it happened but I feel strongly about you. Everytime we’re at school I look around and hope to see you. I thought it was because I like to study people but it wasn’t that kind of feeling. When we are joking or fooling around there are times I just want to kiss you, hug you or tell you how amazing I think you are. You make me laugh and always make sure I don’t go to sleep mad at all the Losers for being… Well, the Losers. And I was trying to trick myself into believing I didn’t feel that way but I do. I don’t want to keep on living a lie, not anymore. Today I couldn’t bare the thought of you never getting to know my true feelings and after we graduate and we go away and I’m left with this broken heart.”
Richie gazed at him. He knew Stan wasn’t good with the whole emotions-and-feelings issue. Somehow Stan ended up exploding to him. Nevertheless, this confession was warming Richie. Each word was honey for his ears and he didn’t know why. He wasn’t aware he could feel like that for Stan. He realized he had never thought of having to be apart from Stan after they graduated. That part felt… Wrong. He knew Beverly would go to New York and it didn’t sit as badly as Stan’s “we go away” words.
“I…” Richie started, but he couldn’t find the right words. It was already dark. He faced Stan but didn’t turn on any lights. “I don’t know, but I just feel… I don’t want to be apart from you when we go to college. When I flirt with you even if I’m joking, it just feels right. You feel right. Ehm, but I still don’t know what I mean by all that”
Stan didn’t know what to answer. All he knew is that he wanted to kiss Richie, badly. The silence felt akward, he didn’t want it to be akward. He gathered all the courage left in his soul and began leaning towards Richie. Richie stood there facing him and Stan moved a step closer, he leaned until he felt his breath. Neither moved, or talked. Both of them were hot, and nervous.
Richie’s senses were getting ambushed by Stan. That was when Richie knew what he needed to do. Stan was about to give up. Perhaps Richie was confused, maybe he shouldn’t have said all that. He was about to step back when,
Richie talked; “Stan…”
Stan was going to answer and step back but Richie shushed him and lifted his head, making him look directly at Richie. Richie now grabbed Stan’s head, pulling him even closer. Their noses touched. Richie sighed and Stan gave him a quick, soft kiss. Richie now didn’t hesitate and went in for a more long, lusting kiss.
Yes. It felt perfect. Richie had no more doubts about his feelings for Stan and Stan was just melting.
Stan hugged Richie and pulled him closer as they continued kissing. They needed each other, they wanted each other. The kiss grew more and more passionate and when they finally stopped they were still nose-with-nose close. They were accelerated all those times Stan had to hold back were now wanting a piece of Richie. Stan’s cheeks were redder tan before and Richie was clearly aroused.
“I wasn’t gonna ask if I could stay over ‘cause I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable… But now…” said Richie with a husky voice.
“Why don’t you stay over Richie?” Asked Stan, playfully while he put his arms around Richie’s neck. He pressed his hips against Richie, and he could feel just how happy Richie was.
“Sure, thanks for inviting me.” He replied with his usual joke tone.
He kissed Stan one more time, but now it was soft again, in a more loving way.
They went inside, kind of sweaty and still very hot. They went up the stairs, ignoring the embarrasing pictures hanged on the walls and paying no attention to the smell of pie that came from the kitchen. Once they were in Stan’s room, they sat on the bed. They stayed quietly, their hands side by side. Barely touching.
Aware of their surroundings, Richie noticed every detail he didn’t quite focused on before. Like the ukelele that was badly hidden behind his collection of National Geographic books. Or the sketching book, opened on a doodle of what looked like him. Richie was noticing everything he didn’t before and Stan was just looking at his shoes. Richie moved slowly, finger by finger, until he was grabbing Stan’s hand completely.
Stan swore, in that moment he felt like a sunny day on a meadow filled with aromatic flowers and a cooling breeze that made them dance. It was the missing piece, it was what he needed. That momento made everything that had just happened have sense. It meant that Stan wasn’t just Richie’s one-night stand because he was curious or something like that.
Richie was staring at him with a dreamy expression. One Stan had never seen on him before.
“I want to stay like this forever.”
“I don’t see why we couldn’t.” He replied, but after seeing Stan’s eyebrows furrow and his mouth start to open as to refute him, he added: “Let’s not think about that stuff right now, let’s just… Enjoy our little forever before we have to worry about any other…” and he was interrupted because Stan kissed him.
How could a guy who only read comic books say such a cliché phrase so nonchalantly?
It was a quick kiss. After it, Stan took off Richie’s glasses and gave him little pecks on the lips and the commisures. Richie pulled Stan towards him but the movement was sudden and with too much force. Both of them ended laying on the bed. Richie accomodated himself on it, so he and Stan could cuddle. The blue sheets matched in a weird way with his hawaiian shirt. Stan repressed a squeal of happiness, he was overjoyed. His soft skin was now glued to Richie’s body, he didn’t care if Richie was still a bit sweaty. At least not right now.
“Yeah, let’s do that.”