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Sam woke abruptly to his phone blaring his ringtone. He groaned and reached for it blindly, trying to still his rapidly beating heart. His fingers latched onto the thin device and he brought it in front of his face to see who was calling. The bright light blinded him for a second, but once his eyes adjusted Sam saw that it was just before two in the morning and the number was unknown. Sam didn't normally answer to unknown numbers, but the lack of sleep must've clouded his judgement because he pressed the answer button and pressed his phone up against his ear.
"Hello?" Sam asked, wincing at the grogginess in his voice.
"Is this Sam Winchester?"
"Yeah." Sam yawned. He pushed himself up and rubbed at his eyes. "Who's asking?"
"This is Gabriel Novak." The voice replied, sounding choked. "I'm calling because you're Dean Winchester's brother."
Immediately, Sam was wide awake and sitting up straight in bed. "I am. What's happened?"
"Look," the man on the line, Gabriel, hesitated, "I know you two had a falling out, and normally I wouldn't call without asking him first, but Dean's in the hospital, and I won't lie, it's really bad."
"Is he going to live?"
Gabriel let out a long, pained sigh. "The doctors have suggested we say our goodbyes."
Sam felt like his heart had stopped. An odd, cold sensation seemed to wash over him, and it was in a daze that Sam got the address of the hospital and got ready to leave. He only barely registered that Dean was just three hours away, a large difference from when Sam had last seen Dean.
Sam's staticky mind cleared during the first hour of his drive, and he had to pull over and catch his breath. His chest seemed to tighten and spasm, making Sam gasp for breath.
After all these years, he was going to see Dean again, but on Dean's deathbed. Tears welled up in Sam's eyes and his let out a choked sob. An aching devastation pitted in his gut.
"Fuck." Sam said. He looked up at the still-dark sky and blinked to clear his eyes. He needed to get to the hospital as soon as possible. He needed to see Dean, even if it was like this.
Sam forced himself to stop crying and get back in the car.
"Never cry in front of other kids, Sammy, ya hear? They'll eat that shit up. Ya gotta look tough and strong."
"But what if I'm sad?"
"You have to pretend you're not."
"That's silly."
"I know it is, Sammy, but that's what you gotta do. Otherwise the other kids will pick on you. 'Course, if that happens, you come straight to me, ya hear? Come straight to me 'n I'll kick their asses for you."
His hands tightened around the steering wheel. Twelve years worth of guilt seemed to stack on him then and clog his throat.
Fuck, it had really been twelve years since Sam had seen Dean.
Eleven since their last text.
Nine since Dean had stopped calling and texting (ten since Sam had stopped replying).
Six since Sam finally tried to call Dean and was met with nothing but an automated voice saying, "I'm sorry, but the number you have tried to call is no longer available" that was repeated when Sam had tried to call his dad. (Six since Sam had gotten pissed and thrown his phone against a wall.)
Five since Sam had looked up ever Dean Winchester, Smith, Campbell in the entire midwest and on social media in a desperate attempt to locate his brother.
Four since Sam had given up (again).
And now, Sam was here. Driving through central California to see his brother who he hadn't heard from in eleven years and who was living only three fucking hours away.
Who was dying.
If Sam was a religious man, he'd be cursing whoever he believed in.
It was a horrible, unfair turn of events, and Sam had no one to blame but himself.
It he hadn't abandoned Dean, if he hadn't ignored his brother, they may have still been close.
Sam had been so relieved to finally be rid of their dad's toxicity, that he didn't care he would be rid of Dean as well.
"Sammy, let me drive you to the airport at least."
"I don't need your help, Dean, and, for the last time, it's Sam!"
Sam had been haunted by that, their last in-person encounter, for a while now. He was angry, furious with himself for how he'd acted. He'd been a spoiled (because Dean was a great brother who'd given Sam all he could) brat and he'd taken out all his repressed frustration on Dean, when John was really to blame.
Back then, though, Sam had seen Dean as just an extension of their father. He'd talked the same, dressed the same, even sounded the same. It had felt like Dean as always taking John's side (Sam understood now that Dean was just trying to keep the peace between an alcoholic father with anger issues and a rebellious teenager with raging hormones).
"You always take his side!"
"Sammy, he says we gotta move, so we gotta move. No point in fighting it, man."
The only difference (in Sam's eyes) was that Dean was an omega, and not an alpha.
It was just past five-thirty when Sam parked at the hospital. The sun was beginning to peak out from behind the treetops, much too cheery for the situation.
The hospital was quiet, a major relief. Sam tiredly made his way to the receptionist's desk. The woman sitting behind the counter was stout and plump with short grey hair and dulled eyes. A long night for everyone, then.
"Excuse me, ma'am." Sam started, trying to sound polite. "I'm here to see a Dean Winchester."
The receptionist looked through her chart. "The family is requesting the only visitors be other family members and close friends, at the time."
"My name's Sam Winchester." Sam said, already taking out his license. "I'm Dean's brother."
The woman glanced down at her chart again, then at Sam's license. She nodded.
"Room 327." She said. "Elevators are on the left."
"Thank you." Sam replied, relieved he wouldn't have to argue.
He made his way to the elevators and pressed the button. Then he stood back on his heels and waited.
Another beta man joined him in waiting. Sam barely spared him a glance.
"Sam Winchester?"
Sam startled and glanced to the man next to him, eyeing him.
"Yeah?"
"I'm Gabriel Novak." The man said. "I called you on the phone."
"Oh!" Sam turned to him fully. "Yeah, hello. Ur, how is he?"
Gabriel looked away and rubbed his face with a hand. "He's not doing well."
Sam swallowed. He knew that Dean was doing poorly, but some part of him was still hoping his brother would pull through. He'd been so stubborn as a kid that it just made sense to Sam.
"I see." He said, quietly. He did his best not to let himself cry, but a few tears did slip his grasp. He wiped at his face.
"What's a' matter, Sammy?"
"The other boys won't let me play with them because I'm new."
"I'm sorry, buddy. Give it a couple of days, they'll warm to you. Don't worry if they take a while, I'll come down and make 'em if I have to."
"Thanks, De. Does Daddy do that for you too?"
"You bet, Sammy."
A hand reached in front of his, full of tissue. Sam swallowed and took one.
"Thanks." He croaked.
"No problem." Gabriel replied, his voice soft. "I'm sorry."
"Me too." Sam said. "I was a fuckup of a brother, but Dean was the best one I could ever ask for. I wish that... well, it doesn't matter now."
He didn't need to look at Gabriel to know that the other man had an expression of pity. Sam wondered how the beta knew Dean, anyways, if they were only allowing family and close friends. He'd certainly looked upset, all pale and red-eyes.
The elevator dinged as it finally reached their floor. The doors opened slowly, and Sam and Gabriel quietly entered. It was silent save for the occasional sniffle.
Gabriel led Sam out of the elevator once it'd reached Dean's floor. Sam followed behind, trying to prepare himself for what was to come. Gabriel seemed to sense that.
"Look," he said, pausing near the nurses' station, "it's not pretty. He's hooked up to a bunch of machines, and stuff. Don't freak out."
"I won't." Sam said. "What happened?"
"Car crash." Gabriel answered, sounding absolutely miserable. "Some dick ran a red. My brother was in the car too, but the other car hit the passenger's side dead on. Dean was crushed against the seat and his airbag malfunctioned. Nearly bled out on the way to the hospital. He's gone through cardiac arrest a couple of times since being here, and now his other organs are starting to fail. If he doesn't stabilize today, or if he goes into cardiac arrest again, he probably won't make it."
Gabriel turned away, his voice cracking and shoulders trembling. Sam felt a pang of sympathy. Gabriel was obviously close with Dean.
"Thank you for telling me." He said. "How's your brother?"
"He's a little bruised, but okay." Gabriel answered. "Absolutely torn up about it, he was driving."
Sam nodded somberly and stared at the ground.
"There's more you should know." Gabriel said. "I think you probably should just see Dean, though, and deal with it after."
"Yeah, I'd like to see Dean."
Gabriel started off again and Sam followed. He saw how the nurses and other hospital staff watched them pass with wide, sad eyes. It made his heart contort painfully in his chest.
Gabriel seemed to hesitate at the door, then he opened it and slipped inside. Sam followed.
Sam's eyes landed on his brother. He was laying, completely still, in the hospital bed. He was hooked up to machines, just as Gabriel had warned, but it still took Sam's breath away. The room smelled heavily of anguish and anxiety.
Dean looked older. He'd filled out a bit. There were a few lines under his eyes. Dean was only 34, but it been more than a decade since Sam had last seen him. His much-too-pale skin was covered in bruises and cuts. His lip was split, too. His right arm was bandaged securely.
Sam's focus was drawn to the figures at Dean's bedside.
A man sat in the main chair, his body hunched over and shoulders shaking. His hair was dark, and Sam caught a whiff of mated alpha. It took Sam only a second longer to connect the grief-scent to the man.
"Hey, Cassie." Gabriel said gently.
The man's head slowly lifted, and he looked over at Sam. The man's eyes were blue, but still red and puffy. He was also bruised, but still he looked much healthier than Dean. The man bared his teeth, growling, and Sam was suddenly hit with the scent of protective alpha. He quickly averted his gaze and ducked his head, neck stretched out submissively.
The growling stopped.
"Cassie?" Gabriel said. "This is Sam Winchester, Dean's brother."
"Sam." The man said, his voice still holding the reminisce of a growl. "I apologize. I am Castiel."
"It's fine." Sam said. He risked a look up. Castiel was staring at Dean's prone form with tears streaming down his eyes. His hands were grasping Dean's hand, almost reverently. Sam's eyes traveled to Castiel's neck, where a mating scar was prominently displayed, then to Dean's neck. It took a moment, but Sam was able to discern a mating scar from the bruises on Dean's body.
"Oh."
"I'm Dean's mate." Castiel said, needlessly.
"Yeah, I got that." Sam said. He didn't know how he should react. He supposed he shouldn't be surprised.
"I wish we were meeting under better circumstances." Castiel continued. It sounded forced, raw. Sam felt himself break, just a little.
There was an empty chair on Dean's other side, and he moved towards it.
"May I sit here?" He asked.
Castiel only nodded, so Sam plopped himself down and took a second to observe his brother. Dean's chest hardly seemed to be moving. Sam caught Dean's faint scent. He could tell that he'd been mated to this alpha, but there was something else, something milky.
"How are you doing, Cassie?" Gabriel sounded concerned, and Sam looked to the pair.
"How do you think?" Castiel bitterly responded.
"Where's Ben and Claire?"
"Charlie took them to the cafeteria to get hot chocolate." Castiel said. Then, softer, he added, "I didn't want them to see me cry."
"Oh, Cassie."
Sam watched as Gabriel enveloped Castiel in a hug. He figured that Castiel must've been the brother that Gabriel had been referring to. Castiel let out a sob and pulled away.
"They told me that Jack's doing better." He said.
"Have you been down to see him?" Gabriel asked. Castiel shook his head.
Sam wanted to ask them who they were talking about, but he didn't want to intrude or make himself known.
It turned out that he didn't need to ask.
The door opened, and a red-headed woman peered inside. Her eyes landed on Sam, and Sam offered a tired nod of his head in greeting. The woman looked to Gabriel and Castiel.
"Good for us to come in now?" She asked.
"Yes." Castiel answered, standing and rubbing his face, as if that would hide the evidence that he was mourning.
The door opened wider and the woman walked in, followed by two pups.
Sam blinked several times when he caught sight of the taller one. He couldn't have been older than eight, but he looked exactly like Dean. His hair was brown and he had light skin and freckles. His right arm was casted, and his left hand was holding on tightly to the younger pup's hand. She was likely around five, with curly blonde hair and big blue eyes. They stared openly at Sam.
"Ben, Claire." Castiel said. "This is Sam, your uncle."
What the fuck?
"Uncle?" Sam asked along with the kids. He looked between the pups and Dean, mind slowly clicking with the realization that Dean had pups.
"Yes, your uncle." Castiel said. "He's Daddy's brother."
"Oh." The boy said. "I'm Ben."
Sam forced himself onto shaky legs and reached out to shake the kid's hand. He was once again stunned by his resemblance to Dean. The younger girl stayed back, though her hand still clutched tightly to Ben's. Her free hand rested on her face as she sucked her thumb.
"How come we've never seen him before?" Ben asked Castiel.
"He lives far away." Castiel said. "He hasn't been able to come."
"Oh." Ben looked around Castiel to Dean. "Has Daddy woken up yet?"
Sam watched the expressions that crossed the adults' faces.
"Sweetheart," Castiel said, sounding broken, "remember when we said that we don't think that he's going to wake up?"
"Yes." Ben said, still looking at Dean. "But Daddy said he's never ever leaving us, and he never lies."
"I know, Ben." Castiel said. "But this isn't really Daddy's choice."
A sad look crossed Ben's features, and his eyes grew watery. "But I miss him."
"I know." Castiel said. "Me too."
Claire let out a sudden wail and dropped to the floor, startling the occupants of the room. Castiel rushed for her and swiftly pulled her into his lap.
"What's wrong, baby?" He asked, rocking her a bit. "Tell Papa."
"I want Daddy!" Claire cried. She pounded her small fists into Castiel's chest and squirmed in his hold. Castiel looked devastated.
"I know, baby, I know." He soothed. "Do you want to walk around a bit with Auntie Charlie?"
"No!" Claire continued to sob and screech in a tantrum. Castiel looked desperately to Gabriel and the red-headed woman.
"I got to take her out so she won't disturb the other patients." He said shakily.
"Here, Charlie and I will take her and Ben and we'll get some breakfast for everyone." Gabriel offered. "Then you can go check on Jack."
Castiel nodded, looking too tired to argue. He glanced at Sam. "Will you stay here with him until we're back."
"Of course." Sam said.
"Thank you." Castiel said, biting his lip. "Jack is our newborn son. He wasn't due for another couple of weeks, but they delivered him early since Dean..." Castiel trailed off, but Sam understood.
He ached.
Castiel handed Claire to the red-headed woman, and she and Gabriel guided the kids out of the room. Castiel looked back at Dean, then grabbed Dean's hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it.
"Don't go while I'm gone, okay?" He said, his voice rough. "Please don't go."
Castiel hesitated a moment, then nodded at Sam and slipped from the room.
Sam took a deep breath, then looked over at his brother.
"Hey, De." He whispered. "It's, uh, it's Sam. Sammy. Your brother. I know it's been a while, man. I've missed you though. You know if you wanted me to visit, you could've just called.
"Look, Dean. I'm sorry for how I treated you. You're were an amazing brother, hell, you raised me, and I treated you like shit. I know I can't ever take that back, but I still have to apologize. I'm here now, and I don't plan on leaving.
"You've got an amazing little family, man. They really love you. You gotta hold on, just a little longer, okay? Don't you want to meet your baby? Stay strong for them. We're all here waiting for you. They love you a lot.
"I love you too. I never said that enough. I'm sorry for how I left things. If I could go back and change it, I would. I love you, De."
Sam leaned back in his chair, not bothering to wipe away the tears that leaked from his eyes. At this point, he had a right to cry.
Castiel returned a few minutes later. He took his seat by Dean's side again.
"He missed you, you know?"
"Yeah?" Sam asked, after a second.
"Yes. Ben's middle name is Samuel."
"Oh." Well, Sam felt like an even bigger piece of shit. "I was a dick to him."
"I know." Castiel said. "He told me about his childhood and adolescence. He still loves you."
"I love him too." Sam replied. "I wish I could tell him that. I tried to find him a couple of years ago, but he was already gone. It's good that he left, though. He always deserved more than our shit life."
"He's made quite an impression on my life." Castiel said. "I never imagined I would ever have to go on without him."
"Hey, don't say that." Sam immediately replied. "He's still breathing."
"I'm well aware." Castiel sighed and looked at his hands. "I'm preparing myself to move on, though. We promised each other that we'd move on if anything like this were to happen, at least for our pups' sakes. Trust me when I say that this will destroy me. I have to try to be strong, though, our pups deserve that."
Sam was quiet for a moment. "You're a good dad, and a good mate. I'm glad that Dean found you, he deserves happiness. I'm sorry I wasn't here earlier. I'd like to make up for that, if I can, after all this."
"I think that that would be okay." Castiel said. "At least, I believe it's something Dean would want."
They were quiet then.
Later, Gabriel, the redhead, and the pups rejoined them with food. Sam ate a little bit. They waited by Dean's side as his breathing grew shallower, everyone holding their breaths whenever there was a pause between the rise-and-fall of Dean's chest.
They sat there for hours, simply watching Dean and listening to the repetitive beeping of his heart monitor.
It was nearly five in the evening when Dean's heart began to speed up. Sam panicked, certain that this was it.
The doctor came in and checked Dean, then looked to them and smiled.
"His stats are stable."
"What?" Castiel stammered. "What does that mean?"
"Well, he's certainly not out of the woods, but he's getting stronger. If he keeps up like this overnight, we'll be able to take him off the ventilator."
The room broke into excited gasps and murmurs. Sam felt his own heart leap with hope.
They waited patiently throughout the night. Dean continued to improve.
In the morning, the nurses came by and removed the ventilator. They told them that he should wake up in the coming hours. It brought Sam to tears, but it also brought him anxiety. Would Dean be upset to see him? Would he send Sam away?
Sam would deserve it, and he would do what Dean asked.
When Dean woke around 10:30 in the morning, it was to Sam's presence alone. Castiel went to check on Jack again and Gabriel and Charlie (the redhead had finally introduced herself) had taken the pups to go get Dean some "Get Well Soon" balloons.
Dean stirred and his heartbeat sped up, catching Sam's attention.
"Dean?" He asked, leaning forward. "Can you hear me?"
Dean groaned softly, and then his eyes fluttered open.
Sam couldn't help the gasp of relief that left his lips. Dean blinked a couple of times, his eyes taking in the light and the room. He sniffed and then his eyebrows furrowed. Dean's eyes glanced over to wear Sam was perched. A look of shock crossed Dean's features.
"Hey, De." Sam said, chuckling wetly. "Long time no see, man."
Dean's lips parted. He continued to stare silently at Sam until Sam was shifting uncomfortably in his seat.
Sam looked away. "Look, Dean, Gabriel called me because you were really bad, and I've missed you so much."
"I was bad?" Dean asked, his voice the same as Sam remembered.
Sam nodded. "You almost died, man."
"So they called you?"
"They wanted to give me a chance to say goodbye." Sam replied shakily. He looked back at Dean, just to make sure he wasn't imagining it.
"Wow." Dean breathed. "I can barely remember it, just Castiel blaring the horn and the pups screaming and- Pup!"
Sam startled from Dean's sudden shout. Dean's hands were grabbing at his stomach and his scent turned extremely bitter. "Where's my pup?!"
"He's okay!" Sam quickly assured. "Jack's fine! He's a little small so they're keeping him under observation, but Castiel is with him now."
Dean visibly relaxed, though his hands still lingered on his belly.
"So," he said, "you know about Cas?"
"I do." Sam answered. "And Ben and Claire. You've made quite a life for yourself, man."
It was surprising to see Dean bashfully blush and look away. His hands riddled with a thread of the hospital blanket.
"They're amazing." He said, voice the softest Sam had ever heard.
"I'm happy for you." Sam said.
Dean met his eyes and silently searched Sam's expression. Sam hoped Dean could tell he was genuine.
"Thank you." Dean finally said. "What about you, Sammy? What's your life like?"
"Boring." Sam answered honestly. "I'm a lawyer now, graduated from Stanford. I had a girlfriend a while back, but that didn't work out. Now, I earn a small firm that does charity work."
Dean's eyebrows had raised and a his scent took a proud turn that reminded Sam of when he had brought Dean his first real report card, all A's.
"That's impressive." Dean said. "I'm proud of you, Sammy."
Sam melted at those words and leaned over Dean's bed.
"I missed you so much, De." Sam said. "I really did. I tried to find you, but I couldn't. I don't blame you for leaving too, I was an ass, and I'm so sorry."
"It's okay, Sam." Dean said (he was always too kind to Sam). "I forgive you. I missed you too."
Sam grinned and leaned forward to gently hug Dean.
"Shit." He said as he pulled away. "The others will probably want to see you, and a nurse."
Sam quickly called for the nurse, who must've alerted the others, because soon the room was being crowded by everyone. They gushed over Dean and fought for his attention, and Sam watched it all with a smile on his face. It was good to see Dean get the happy life he should have always had.
Castiel left the room briefly and returned with the newest pup, who'd been given the all clear to visit his omega-dad and bond.
Dean reached for his pup and cradled him close to his chest, cooing softly when the baby smiled up at him.
"Congrats, Deano." Gabriel said. "Now it's been wild, everyone, but I think I should go home now."
"Me too." Charlie agreed. She and Gabriel everyone hugs before heading for the door.
Gabriel paused next to Sam and smirked at him. "I can flirt with you now that my brother-in-law and your actual brother is no longer dying. If you ever want a good time, call me."
Then the beta sauntered from the room, leaving Sam a flustered mess. He glared when Dean let out a hearty laugh.
"So, Sam." Dean said. "What's the plan now? Gonna call Gabe?"
"Maybe." Sam shrugged. "Maybe once I'm settled up here, if that's okay with you guys, of course. I would like to stay."
Dean and Castiel exchanges warm expressions.
" 'Course, Sammy, you're always welcome."
"De, are you mad at me still?"
"Nah, I'm not mad anymore."
"Oh, okay. I love you, De."
"Don't get all sappy on me, Sammy, but I love you too."