Chapter Text
I’ve always loved weddings, ever since I was a little girl. It was around the age of eight when I knew that weddings were something I would never grow tired of.
It was my cousin Jane’s wedding, to her fiancé Thor – a huge, blonde guy who reminded me of a Viking – and it was the first big family event we’d been to since my mother passed away. Dad was a wreck, trying to cope with everything, and not succeeding. I remember fixing my little sister Natasha’s hair, and having to take her to the bathroom to pee before the ceremony.
Suddenly cousin Jane let out a shrill scream. Racing to the full-length mirror, she stared in horror. “Shit! My wedding gown is ripped! How the fuck am I going to go down the aisle now?”
Her horror only increased when she heard myself and Natasha giggling at her potty mouth. Jane was usually so poised and proper. Naturally, at the tender ages of five and eight, Nat and I thought her colourful language was hysterical.
Inspiration struck me as Jane stared forlornly at her wedding gown. Taking the ribbon from Nat’s hair, I wove it through Jane’s gown to provide an impropmtu repair for it, and she was so grateful that she asked me to follow her down the aisle, holding her train.
That was the moment I fell in love with weddings, because I knew that I had helped someone on the most important day of their lives.
I couldn’t wait for the day when it would be my turn.
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20 years later…
“Oh, Y/N, that dress is so beautiful. It fits you like it was made for you.”
I gazed at my reflection in the mirror. “Do you think so?”
“It’s perfect, Y/N.” The dressmaker looked exceedingly pleased with her work.
Another assistant came racing over, phone in hand. “It’s for you, Y/N. It’s the bride.”
“Hey Wanda!… Yes, the dressmaker has just finished hemming the gown… I know, it’s a miracle that we are the exact same size!… Yes, I’ll bring it over to you shortly. Don’t worry about a thing. This is your day, and I’m going to make sure that everything is perfect for you.”
Half an hour later, I was dressed in a lavender bridesmaid dress, with the precious wedding gown safely ensconced in a garment bag. I crossed the busy Manhattan streets to the corner of Madison Avenue and East 51st Street, towards the New York Palace Hotel where Wanda was getting ready. Just outside the hotel I ran -literally - into my workmate and best friend, Maria Hill. She picked herself up with a laugh and then gave me an appreciative glance.
“Hey, chicky! You look great. Oooh, what’s in the bag?” Maria asked excitedly, as I shoved a large makeup bag into her hands.
“The correct shade of lipstick, breath mints, extra-strength Tylenol and a pair of my earrings for you. And I need to fix your hair,” I muttered, casting a critical eye over the half-assed ponytail that Maria had hastily thrown her hair into.
“What? Wanda wanted our hair up, it’s up!” She pointed to the small carry-all I had in my hands. “What’s all that stuff?”
I ignored Maria’s question as I ushered her inside, where Wanda and the rest of the bridal party were waiting.
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“Oh, you look adorable, Y/N! And the best part about the dress is that you can shorten it and wear it again,” Wanda beamed, as we posed on the marble staircase with the other bridesmaids for the pre-ceremony photos.
“That is so true,” I murmured in agreement. Maria rolled her eyes so hard I swear she saw her brain.
Once the photos were done, I led the bridesmaids down the aisle, followed by Wanda, who looked like an adorable little fairy in her gown. The full tulle skirt only emphasised how tiny she was, but she looked more radiant than I had ever seen her. She practically glowed.
The celebrant commenced the ceremony as Wanda stood next to her groom, Jarvis. “We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Wanda and Jarvis. This is a time of great joy, as we celebrate the joining of two people in holy matrimony.”
I spared a glance at my watch, not noticing the puzzled frowns of either Maria or a tall, blond male in the crowd as I did so. I’ve still got time, I thought to myself with relief. But I would be cutting it close.
As soon as the ceremony was over, I raced outside and hailed a cab. Surprisingly, for New York, I managed to get one straight away. “Corner of Washington and Plymouth Streets, Brooklyn,” I said to the cabbie.
“Sure thing, lady.”
“All right...“ I looked at the name on his dashboard, which proclaimed the driver to be Sam Wilson. “… Sam. I will pay you three hundred bucks for the entire night on one condition. You don’t look in the rear-view mirror under any circumstances, or I start deducting from that. Deal?”
“You got it, Cupcake,” Sam said. However, he failed within five seconds as I started to change out of my bridesmaids dress. He looked back at me as he cried, “Hey! What are you doing?”
“Eyes front, Sam! You just cost yourself twenty bucks,” I glared at him.
“Sorry! I swear I’m not looking.”
Sam raced to the hotel, and I told him to stay put. “I’ll be out shortly,” I promised.
“I ain’t going anywhere, Cupcake,” he assured me.
I sprinted inside, my sari wrapped around my figure. Why Bruce and Betty had chosen a Bollywood theme for their wedding, I would never know. But it promised to be a fun night.
“Oh, thank God you’re here!” Betty cried as I raced up to her. “You look beautiful. And the best thing about your dress is that you can shorten it and wear it again.”
“That is definitely so true,” I agreed as we headed towards the room where the ceremony was to be held.
Once the ceremony was completed, I ran back outside to find Sam leaning nonchalantly against the hood of the cab. “Sam! What the hell are you doing? Get back in the car! Go, go, go!”
He jumped in the front and headed back towards Manhattan before I’d even shut the door. He lost himself another twenty bucks when he glanced at me changing back into the lavender gown. At the rate he was going, he would be ferrying me back and forth all night for free.
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“Where the hell have you been? I’ve been stuck here alone with these people for forty-five minutes,” Maria hissed at me as I joined her at the table.
“I had to duck out for a bit,” I replied.
She nodded her head towards a couple of the groomsmen. “Which one do you want, the blond or the brunette? I’m thinking I might actually go for the blond.”
I rolled my eyes at her. “Good grief, Maria, that’s Wanda’s twin brother! Do you think you could keep it in your pants for one night?”
“God, no! The only reason to wear this monstrosity is so that some sexed-up Lothario can rip it to shreds with his teeth in the throes of passion,” she smirked at me.
“You’re incorrigible. But I’m almost one hundred percent certain that Pietro will happily accommodate your request.” I sipped my champagne before glancing at my watch again. “I’ll be back shortly, Maria, I’ve just got to make a quick phone call.”
I raced outside to the cab where Sam was waiting for me.
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Steve was on the phone outside the hotel. “What time is it now? Yeah, I’m probably going to be here for at least another couple of hours.”
He frowned in puzzlement as he noticed a lavender streak race past him towards a waiting cab. “I’m going to have to call you back,” he said into the phone.
Steve’s eyes widened in surprise as he stared at the rear window of the cab. “Well, that’s not a sight you see at most weddings,” he muttered to himself with a grin.
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The rest of the night was spent racing back and forth between Wanda and Jarvis’s wedding, and that of Bruce and Betty. I spent my time hastily changing bridesmaids dresses on the drive between the venues, holding up wedding dresses as the brides peed, dancing the YMCA and the Macarena, and missing out on actually eating anything because I was too busy running around after everyone else.
At one stage, Sam noticed that I was wearing the wrong shoes with the dress for Hope’s wedding, and threw the correct pair at me. He narrowly avoided smacking me in the face with them.
During the speeches, both Wanda and Betty said a few words.
“I just want to give a special ‘Thank you’ to a wonderful woman…” said Wanda.
“A girl who, without her help, none of this would have been possible,” continued Betty.
“…She helped me try out wedding cake, reception venues, caterers…” Wanda gushed.
“… designed the wedding invitations, arranged my bridal shower, boosted my self-esteem as I tried on about a million different wedding dresses…” Betty smiled.
“So thank you so much, Y/N! None of this could have happened without you!” Wanda beamed. She turned around, winking at me. “Everybody ready?”
The bouquet was clearly aimed in my direction. This was it. I was actually going to catch the bouquet. Soon it would be my turn. I reached out towards the flowers which were heading towards me in a graceful arc, and just as my fingers were about to grasp them…
… I found myself staring up at a pair of incredibly blue eyes. The rest of the face eventually swam into focus, and I noticed a concerned expression on the face of a man I’d never seen before. It was a kind face, one that gave the impression that this person actually cared about me. Which was ridiculous, because I’d never met him before in my life.
I winced as I tried to sit up, but my new companion pushed me back down. “Stay down, you hit your head pretty hard. Can someone get some ice, please?” he pointedly asked one of the other bridesmaids, who stood gawking at me. He snapped his fingers and she instantly raced off to do his bidding.
“What happened?” I asked groggily, as the blond man helped me sit up carefully.
“You were tackled out of the way by a desperate single woman, and ended up at the bottom of a pile of a dozen other desperate single women. You hit your head pretty hard when you fell.” He stared into my eyes. “Do you know your name?”
“Y/N.”
“Y/N,” he repeated in his deep voice, then smiled at me gently. “I’m Steve.”
“Well, thank you for your assistance, Steve,” I said as he helped me stand. I assured him that I was fine, only to promptly prove that statement wrong as my knees buckled.
“All right, why don’t we get you a cab? You need to get some rest.” Steve walked me outside, one large hand around my waist and the other holding one of my hands as he helped me to remain upright. Wanda followed with one of the table arrangements – a poor consolation for not having caught the bouquet. Steve helped me into Sam’s cab, and before I could protest he jumped in with me.
I gave Sam my address and then sat back, my head resting on the seat of the cab.
“I really liked your thong, by the way,” Steve told me in an amused tone. I stared at him in confusion, so he elaborated. “You raced past me earlier and I saw you changing gowns in the back of the cab. You were at two weddings on the same night, weren’t you?”
“So?”
“Well, isn’t that kind of difficult?”
I looked at him. “Wanda and Betty are both very good friends of mine, and their weddings just coincidentally happened to be on the same night. They both asked me to be their chief bridesmaid. What was I supposed to do, tell one of them ‘No’?”
“Did you try that?” Steve sounded even more amused.
I stared at my unwelcome companion as if he were an idiot. “Of course not! This is the most important day of their lives. I couldn’t disappoint either of them like that.”
Steve snorted. “I would have thought one wedding would be bad enough. Two on the same night is just asking for trouble.”
“I love weddings!” I protested. “I always have, ever since I was a little girl.”
“So what’s your favourite part? The cheesy love songs, the stale cake, the flat champagne?” he asked sarcastically.
“Well, clearly it’s not meeting optimistic rays of sunshine such as yourself,” I muttered.
“Love is patient, love is kind, love means slowly losing your mind,” Steve chanted.
I rolled my eyes. Bad move. It just made my brain hurt more. “What is it you do again?” I pretended to have forgotten, despite the fact that he’d never actually told me.
“I’m a writer.”
Sam pulled up outside my apartment building, thus saving me from having to ask what kind of writing Steve did. Steve offered to pay, but I waved him away. “There you go, Sam. One hundred and forty dollars. You know what you did.”
Sam sighed and accepted the cash wordlessly.
Before I could stop him, Steve had hopped out of the cab, carrying the floral arrangement that Wanda had bestowed upon me. I stuck my head in the driver’s side window. “Stay here, Sam, he’s going to be right back.”
“Don’t you think that a wedding is a whole lot of pain for an outdated ritual which, let’s be honest, only has about a fifty-fifty shot of lasting the distance?” Steve asked.
“Oh, what a refreshing change. A man who doesn’t believe in holy matrimony,” I scoffed.
Steve held up a hand in protest. “I’m just trying to point out the hypocrisy of spending so much money on a spectacle that’s pretty much a waste of everyone’s time.”
I glared at him. “How noble of you. Do you also go around crushing little kids dreams about Santa and the Easter Bunny, too? Because the sooner they all get over that shit, the better.”
“Ah! So you’re saying that believing in marriage is like believing in Santa Claus!” Steve smirked triumphantly.
“No! You know what, I don’t know why I’m bothering explaining myself to you. I don’t even know you.” I snatched the flowers from my grumpy companion and grudgingly held out my hand for him to shake. “I’d love to say that it was nice meeting you, but it really wasn’t.”
Steve surprised me by grabbing my hand and kissing my fingertips. “So am I going to see your thong again next weekend, doll, or do I have to wait until Date Number Three?”
“This is not a date!” I retorted, removing my hand from his grip much more forcefully that necessary. I added under my breath, “And, with any luck, I will never see you again.”
I crossed the road and fumbled in my purse for my keys.
“Are you going to be at any more weddings? How many have you been in, by the way? What’s the record number of weddings you’ve attended in one day?” he called after me, laughter still very much evident in his voice.
“Good night!” I turned and headed up the stairs to my apartment, confident that I’d seen the last of quite possibly the most annoying man I’d ever met.
