Work Text:
“So you are really going to do that?” Chat asked the girl, worry creeping in his tone.
“Yep, yep,” came the answer.
Silence reigned in the room, only to be occasionally broken by the sound of the ripping of duct tape.
“Voilà! There it is, all done!” Marinette exclaimed, turning around and showing her superhero friend the thing she had been working on. He merely gulped.
It was a birthday party type of cone, painted messily and sloppily, with pom-pom balls hanging from the top. On the cone, three words had been written clearly with a black felt pen:
Cone of Shame.
“Ha ha Princess,” the hero chuckled nervously, “Is there really a need for this? I mean, I promise I won’t trouble you anymore and-”
“Oh Chat Noir . ”
…
Oh shoot. She just said my full name in that sickly sweet voice of hers. She is mad, she is angry, she is crazy; I am dead. She is going to skin me in a hundred ways and decorate her room with my skin. I am going to die and I didn’t even sign my will or properly tell Milady that I love her.
Why did I even agree to this 10 crimes and punishments thing in the first place?
“Listen, Marinette,” the boy raised his arms up, backing away from the girl who suddenly seemed to be menace incarnate, “I am very sorry for those three potted plants of yours that I broke two days ag-”
“Five potted plants, Chat. You made five plants homeless, accounting for five crimes.”
“O-okay? An-and then there was that one time that I threw water on you to wake you up,” a approving hum from the girl , “and I snooped in your vanity table, which I shouldn’t have done, so that makes it seven crimes. Then why am I getting thi-this Cone of Shame when I didn’t even reach the ten crimes limit?”
“What about the five yarn balls that you unravelled last Sunday?”
“ That was Plagg’s fault!! ”
“Oh, it was?” she asked, her tone questioning.
Guess she caught on the lie. I will shush Plagg up later with five extra wheels of Camembert. Right now, the best thing to do is to save my tail.
“Ye-yes!” his voice was a bit too high, but he didn’t care, “When you were away, I detransformed to-to check if I needed spectacles! Yeah! Need that enhanced cat vision of the suit in real life too, you see, heh. And then, Plagg being the cat he is, he lunged for your yarn balls. I swear I tried to stop him, but welp- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? ”
Somehow, he hadn’t noticed the girl creeping up to him. And by the time he realised, the hat had been placed on his head.
“Mon chaton, I know you are bluffing. You always rub your neck when you are nervous, you know,” she smirked at him, as he abruptly brought his hand down, mentally slapping himself for being so obvious.
“So, Princess, you remember you once said I was your favorite cat?”
“Mhmm.”
“Uhm, does favoritism work its way in thi-”
“Kitty, kitty, kitty,” she laughed and winked at him, “I was about to say that I had forgiven three of your crimes on account of favoritism, but you went out of your way and tried to fool me. Do the rest of the math yourself.”
Wow, what a lose-lose situation. And now I owe Plagg five wheels of Camembert for no reason.