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Finn knew things had taken a left turn when he saw Rey taking dainty bites of her ravioli.
Rey didn’t take dainty bites of anything. This was the woman, after all, who on their first date had inhaled a double-decker grilled cheese sandwich in about three seconds flat and proceeded to pop onion rings into her mouth one after the other like popcorn while carrying on a conversation about the pros and cons of rebooting the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. Dainty bites and Rey went together about as well as coffee grounds and Pringles.
Finn sighed and put down his fork.
“It’s okay. You can tell me the truth. This sucks, doesn’t it?”
Rey looked at him quizzically. “What are you talking about? What sucks?”
“This.” He waved his arm a little above the table, though he had a brief desire to aim lower and sweep the whole works on the floor. “Dinner. I can tell you don’t like it. I don’t like it either.”
Rey took another small bite, chewed it carefully, and swallowed.
“I can tell you made the pasta fresh. It's so pretty, and delicate. And I love the sauce. It has just the right amount of garlic and that touch of heat that brings it up a notch. But ...”
“... The filling?”
“The filling.” Rey looked down at her plate with a small grimace. “I’m sorry, Finn. It’s not just that the texture is gummy, but it also has this sort of slimy aftertaste.”
“Me and my themes,” muttered Finn, pushing away his plate. “Figures I’d screw it up at the very end."
He burned with disappointment and disgust. This was supposed to be the perfect anniversary celebration for his plant-loving, going-vegan girlfriend. A trip to the arboretum, flowers sent to her apartment, and this, the piece de resistance ... a homemade completely plant-based dinner. He’d spent hours planning a menu, buying the groceries, and had even resorted to propping his phone up so Gordon Ramsey could scream at him about how to make perfect pasta from scratch. All for nothing.
“You didn’t screw anything up.” Rey’s voice was firm. “I loved tonight. The theme was incredibly sweet, and dinner was great. Well, most of it. The salad is wonderful, I love the garlic knots, and the asparagus is perfect. But the ravioli just sort of ... doesn’t work. What did you put in it? I know it’s not vegan cheese. At least, I hope it’s not. If it’s supposed to be mimicking lamb or ground beef or whatever, it’s doing a really bad job.”
“I think it’s called Miracle Burger or something like that. It’s one of those new plant-based proteins that’s supposed to taste ‘just like the real thing.’” His voice dripped sarcasm. “Instead, it tastes like pelletized petroleum and regret.”
Finn grabbed his plate and hers. With his top lip curling in disgust, he scraped the remains of the ravioli dish he’d prepared with loving hands from scratch into the garbage. It was about what he’d deserved for trying to be too cute. The arboretum trip and the flowers were fine, but he realized that the best thing to do to crown it all was to have made reservations at the best vegan place in town. Rey, after all, had been almost an obligate carnivore before deciding to live a flesh-free life, and she admitted to still sometimes craving the taste of meat without the guilt. But instead of taking her to a place that knew its stuff, he’d decided to try to be fancy and the result was soggy dreck and food waste.
“Hey.”
Rey’s voice was at his back, and after a moment, her arms were around his waist.
“This was all amazing, you know.” She lay her forehead on his back and her voice sounded a little muffled. “All of it. No one I’ve dated before ever made a big deal of anniversaries ... or birthdays ... or any other special event. I’m having an amazing night, and I’m so lucky to have a boyfriend who’s so thoughtful and can cook.”
Yeah ... and tried to feed you something that tastes like it came out of a compost heap.
But Finn bit back the words and sighed, placing his hands over hers.
“Well, at least you can scratch Miracle Burger off your shopping list from now on. Stick with the Chick’n nuggets and the Tofurky, I guess.”
She squeezed him around the middle. “To be honest, I kind of think some of these new plant-based proteins that claim to taste exactly like hamburger or whatever are a little strange. I’ve read that for some of these companies manufacturing these foods, there’s a long list of unpronounceable stuff they put in there. It seems like at the end, you’re getting a little far from the point of making it all natural.”
Finn mulled that over and sighed. Squeezing her hands, he turned and wrapped his arms around her.
“So you’re not pissed that our plant-based dinner didn’t come off the way I’d hoped?”
“Definitely not. And we can still have one.” She smiled gently. “Let’s go to Maz’s Hot Franks and get a couple of tofu dogs with the works, some plantain chips, and her dairy-free sundae kit to go.”
Rey’s smile suddenly turned predatory. “Maybe we can have a contest to see who can lick the most rainbow sprinkles off the other’s body?”
Finn felt sweat pop out on his forehead and he had to swallow a few times to get his voice working.
“Um .. but how would we keep count to know who wins?”
She lightly kissed his lips. “See, that’s the best part! Even the loser wins.”
Finn later thought that he actually came out the winner, but Rey was right. They both had been much too busy with other matters to really figure it out.
the end!