Chapter Text
You feel your hands. They are solid. You look down at them. You look closer. They shift. They blink in and out. So does the rest of your body. It exists only to you.
You take a deep breath. You feel nothing. There is no air to breath. Did you even take a breath? Or did you just imagine you did?
It is so quiet. There is nothing around to make noise. The silence is endless. The silence is oppressive. The silence is deafening. You cover your ears. It doesn’t help. There is no sound to block out.
You feel the tears run down your face. Warm and wet. You can’t make them stop. You try to wipe them away. You can’t. Your face is dry.
You long for food. You don’t need it, you’re not hungry, nor have you been hungry in a while. But you remember the feeling of hunger. Biting and aching and painfully real. Maybe if you ate you would feel real again.
You don’t feel pain anymore. You used to. But you thought about it. You thought about it too much. None of it was real, you know that now. You just thought you should feel it, so you did. And now you can’t. You beat on the walls, throw yourself from heights, scream until your throat should be dry and cracked and burning. But you’ve had too much time to think and now you can’t go back. The tricks don’t work anymore. You don’t feel anything.
You try sleeping. You don’t know how long you sleep, there is no way to tell the passage of time. Your dreams are memories of the past, played before you in vivid detail. You stop sleeping. The memories are too much, and you never feel rested anyway. You lose the last thing that made you real. You have lost everything.