Chapter Text
Jack Maynard drove carefully up the mountainside. It was dusk and, though the route was one he was used to, it was a long time since he’d last driven this way. Eventually, the road began to level out and he found himself driving along the all too familiar lakeside towards the hotel. He slowed down as he took in the new buildings interspersed with the older chalets. Finally, he reached his destination and stopped the car.
Hannah Lang had been asleep in the passenger seat for the last hour, but the cessation of the engine woke her. She stretched as well as she could in the small space and looked at Jack.
“Are we here?”
“Yes. You fell asleep not long after we passed Innsbruck.” Jack glanced at his watch. “We should have enough time to check in and unpack before dinner.”
“That sounds good. I’m hungry.” Hannah opened the door and climbed out, before fishing for her coat from the back seat as the bitter cold almost took her breath away. Jack did the same, then lifted their cases from the boot. He locked the car and they walked up the path to the door of the hotel where they were quickly checked in and shown to their rooms.
Jack unpacked his case, had a wash and changed into a shirt and tie. He stood looking out at the view over the lake for a short while, wondering how the trip would go. When they had planned this visit, Jack had been brutally honest with Hannah.
“It’s the first time I’ll have been back to the Tiernsee. I left in a hurry and I don’t know how I’m going to react to being back there. Are you sure you want to risk a trip where I may not cope with the memories it’s going to bring back?”
“Of course I’m sure. We’ll do it on your terms. You choose what we do and where we visit. The area holds happy memories for me and I don’t mind what we do while we’re there. This trip is for you, Jack. You need a break from work and the area won’t be too busy at this time of year. If you want to spend some of the time alone, that’s fine. I’m happy enough with my book or sewing.”
Jack had found himself agreeing and now, he was here. There was no getting out of it anymore. He shook himself and pulled the curtains closed, then made his way downstairs to meet Hannah for dinner.
Jack was awake early the next morning. Unable to settle to read, he rose and dressed. It was barely seven o’clock, so he picked up his outdoor garments and went downstairs. Slipping outside, he pulled on his hat and gloves as he walked swiftly down the drive and turned onto the lakeside. Despite the new buildings which had sprung up in the intervening years, Jack still recognised the village he had known so well. He walked along the lake path, not taking in much of his surroundings; he had a goal in mind and he was determined to reach it before he had to turn back if he wanted to be in time for Frühstück.
Jack walked past the boat landing, still and silent at this time of year and continued along until the building he was aiming for came into view. As he neared it, he saw that it looked hauntingly familiar to the last time he had seen it. The covered passageways had gone, and the fence was no longer the palisade it had once been. The buildings were separated into their own private gardens and looked more like the chalets they had been before the school had been opened.
Stopping at a short distance off, Jack looked at the main chalet and let his memories return. He saw his sister walking along the path from the front door with a handful of pupils surrounding her, Jo amongst them. He smiled as he remembered greeting Mollie and catching Jo as she tripped over some hidden protrusion in the ground. She had been too busy talking to look where she was going.
The thought of his sister reminded Jack that he hadn’t had time to open her latest letter before they had left the previous day. It had arrived just as he was setting off, so he had shoved it in his coat pocket and forgotten about it until now. He felt both pockets and pulled it out of the left one. Removing a glove, he opened it and scanned the contents quickly. He had told her of his impending trip and she mentioned it towards the end.
Enjoy your visit to the Tiernsee, Jack. I’m sure most of your memories will be good ones as you loved living there. I’m only sorry I can’t make the trip with you but, you’ll have Hannah and she’ll keep you grounded while you’re there. Share your memories with her and don’t push her away if it gets too much at any point. She wants to be with you and for you both to have some time together without other people interrupting. I know you keep telling me it’s only a friendship, but I think it’s more than that, really. Enjoy the chance you have at happiness and make the most of it. Life’s too short to spend regretting what might have been.
Jack re-read the section again and realised that Mollie was right. He needed this trip, not just to remember his past, but, more importantly, to spend some time alone with Hannah away from the Görnetz Platz and the small community there. He folded the sheets and returned them to the envelope before turning his footsteps back to the hotel.
After Frühstück, Jack and Hannah both wrapped up and donned stout boots in readiness for a walk. The weather seemed to be holding, despite the snow on the ground and Herr Becker assured them that no snow was forecast during the day. They bid their host goodbye and set off to walk around the edge of the lake towards Buchau. Both were thankful for their hats, scarves and gloves since the wind was biting. They walked in a companionable silence for a while, each content to enjoy the scenery and quietness. Jack slowed his pace to match Hannah’s, the height difference between them meaning that his long legs covered the ground faster. Eventually, Jack broke the silence.
“I received a letter from my sister yesterday. I finally had chance to read it this morning before Frühstück. She told me to enjoy this trip.”
“So that’s two of us who have told you that, then,” Hannah smiled. “When was the last time you saw her?”
“When my mother died. She came over for the funeral and to help me clear Pretty Maids.”
“Pretty Maids?”
“My family home in England. I lived on the south coast between Southampton and Portsmouth. My parents owned an estate in the New Forest and the house was called Pretty Maids.”
“I understand. Where does your sister live, now?”
“In New Zealand. She moved out there with her husband before the war. Before that, she also lived here at the Tiernsee as she taught at the Chalet School.”
“So you were close then?”
“Yes. She probably knows me better than anyone, despite the distance. We’re twins.”
“That’s news to me. You’ve never mentioned that before.”
“I suppose I never thought about it. There’s only the two of us left and Mollie is busy with her family and the farm. We don’t have much contact other than letters, now.”
“That’s a shame.” Jack just shrugged in response to this. He was used to being alone. “How many brothers and sisters did you have?”
“There were two who died when they were small. I don’t remember them as it was before we were born. We also had an older brother. He died in the war, but I don’t know any more than that. I found out when I finally made it home and I wasn’t in a state to be able to deal with any further information at that time. Then, I suppose I just forgot to ask.”
“Are you the youngest, then?”
“By about an hour. Mollie was born first. I was a bit of a surprise as they hadn’t expected twins.” Jack smiled for the first time. “Apparently, Bob named me as they hadn’t thought of one. Not that he was very original, since I was given the same name as my father.”
“Have you not wanted to visit your sister?”
“I’ve been invited on numerous occasions, but, so far, I’ve just not had chance. I’ve either been busy with work or dealing with my demons. I’ve never met my nieces and nephews, though I send them something for birthdays and Christmas each year.”
“That is a shame. You should go. It would be a pity to not meet them.”
“Maybe.” Hannah sensed that it would be prudent to drop the subject and they continued on in silence for a short while.
“That’s where my sister lived when she was teaching here.” Jack nodded towards a building. Hannah looked in the direction he was indicating.
“Which one?”
“The large chalet. That’s where the school was based. They occupied all five buildings before they had to move. When Mollie began, there was just the large chalet and the small one next door.”
“Where did you live?”
“I lived on the Sonnalpe.” Jack stopped and looked across the lake. “You can’t see it clearly, but I think it’s that one there.” He pointed out a mountain above Buchau.
“I see. How long did it take to get up there?”
“The walk up was about four hours. It was quite rough going in parts. Once the road was built, it took about twenty minutes to drive.”
“That must have made things easier for you.”
“It did. If we were needed in an emergency, it was a godsend. The other route down meant we had to go via Spärtz, which took an hour, at least.”
“Wasn’t there a doctor based by the lakeside? Or were you the only ones?”
“There was, but as the school was owned by Jem’s wife, they tended to call us if they needed a doctor. We always had a doctor on call for visits, the same as we do in Switzerland.”
“That would make sense, I suppose. Did you see your sister often, when you were both living here?”
“Yes. We generally met up if we both had the same day off. We’d either go for a meal in a hotel round about or take a trip to either Spärtz or Innsbruck if we had enough time. We explored a lot of the local area together.” Jack suddenly smiled as a memory returned. Hannah noticed.
“What is it?”
“I’ve just remembered an incident when we were in Spärtz once. When we entered the restaurant, and asked for a table for two, the proprietor looked rather worried as he thought we were illicit lovers. Mollie was so tempted to string him along, but I persuaded her it wouldn’t be the best idea since we’d have to eat there again.”
“No, it might not have been a good idea,” Hannah laughed. “Your sister sounds as if she has a good sense of humour, though.”
“She has. Sometimes, when I was desperately trying not to laugh, she’d just make the situation worse. I quite often ended up in trouble for that when we were young.” Hannah smiled again.
“Shall we move on? We’ll never reach Buchau, otherwise.” Jack glanced at his watch, before turning back to the path and leading the way.
Their walk took them another hour before they reached their destination. Once there, they strolled around the village, Jack pointing out another chalet which had also once been a school before being amalgamated with the Chalet School. He also showed her the bottom of the path up to the Sonnalpe. It was approaching lunchtime, so they turned their footsteps back towards Briesau, knowing that they could stop at one of the hotels in Maurach for lunch.
*****
“What would you like to do today?” Hannah asked Jack as they ate Frühstück two days later.
“I think I need to go up to the Sonnalpe. I can’t avoid it forever and I know I need to exorcise those demons.”
“Would you like me to come with you? Or would you prefer to go alone?” Jack stayed silent for a while as he contemplated the answer. Hannah continued with her own breakfast as she waited. She knew he had to make his own decision.
“Come with me. I’ll be honest and warn you that I have no idea how today will go.”
“I understand. It is important that you do this, though.”
“I know. I’m not promising anything. So far, I’ve had happy memories but, I think today will be different. I left in a hurry and, well, you already know what happened after that. As far as I’m aware, no one I know has been back up there since we left so I have no idea of what to expect.” Hannah placed her hand over Jack’s on the table.
“We’ll get through it together. I know you need to do this, and I want to be there for you, whether it’s just as silent support or as a friend to talk to.”
“Thank you. That means a lot to me. I know I’m not great at talking, even now, but I’ll try.” Hannah smiled and finished her breakfast. Jack sighed and picked up his coffee.
“Why the sigh?”
“I was just wishing for a good cup of tea, that’s all.”
“So English!” Hannah laughed and Jack smiled, despite himself.
“I can’t help it, I am English,” he retorted in defence. “Not that I’d get a decent cup, even if there was any tea around here. It’s the one thing I miss about my homeland.”
“Never mind. You’ll be able to drink as much as you like once we return to the Görnetz Platz. I’m sure you have plenty at home.”
“I don’t, actually. I must write to Jem and ask him to send me some more. Swiss tea just doesn’t have the same taste for some reason.”
“It is probably not English enough.”
“Either that, or the milk has a slightly different taste. Have you finished?”
“Yes. I just need to get my things from my room before we set off.”
“Me too. I’ll meet you by the front door in ten minutes, then.” Hannah nodded her assent and they both left the Speisesaal to collect what they would need for the day.
Jack was quickly ready, but he lingered in his room a few minutes longer. He knew that he would meet some bad memories today and he wanted to gather himself beforehand. He perched on the bottom of the bed and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees.
“Help me get through today, Jo. Don’t let me spiral out of control again. Not here, and certainly not in front of Hannah. She doesn’t need to see the hell I go through.” Silence was the only reply, but Jack felt a slight breeze in his hair. The window was closed, so he knew it wasn’t from there. He lifted his head, feeling it cross his cheeks. He drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly before standing and turning purposefully towards the door and whatever the day would bring.
Hannah was waiting when Jack reached the entrance. He managed a smile and she fell into step beside him as they went out to the car and climbed in. The drive was mainly in silence, Hannah not wishing to break Jack’s calmness. Although she knew Jack needed to do this trip, she suspected that he was only just holding himself together and she had no wish to push him over the edge. She knew she had to let him deal with whatever happened today in his own way and make sure she was there to pick up any pieces as and when it was needed.
Suddenly, Jack found himself driving onto the shelf where the Sonnalpe village was situated. He had driven most of the way on autopilot and had no idea how he had reached his destination so quickly. He recognised the head of the path from the Tiernsee and pulled the car over into the edge, where he had parked so many times as he waited to meet a party of schoolgirls from their climb up the mountain. He turned the engine off and climbed out, Hannah following his lead. He walked across to the head of the path and looked down it, as if he half expected to meet a crowd of girls as they reached the top. Hannah leaned against the car as she watched him, sensing that he would return to her when he was ready to move onwards. She was eventually rewarded when he turned back to where she was standing.
“We’ll leave the car here. The shelf isn’t that large, and I doubt that anyone else will want to park here at this time of year.”
“Which way, then?”
“This way.” Jack led them along the road towards the village. As they approached, it became obvious that things had changed dramatically in the intervening years since Jack had last been here. Hannah stayed silent, allowing Jack to take in the changes in his own time. She had seen the shock cross his face as they passed the first derelict building, though he had said nothing.
Hannah found herself surrounded by small chalets, the majority of which were now derelict and uninhabited. She surmised this was the Sonnalpe village. She followed Jack as he walked through the centre, obviously with a destination in mind. He finally came to a halt before a large chalet, surrounded by what had once been a well-kept garden. He leaned on the gate and looked around.
“This was where Jem and Madge lived. It’s called Die Rosen. There were roses climbing up those trellises and it always looked so attractive when they were in full bloom. I lived here for a while as well, before I moved out into rooms as their family increased.”
“It looks as if it was a happy home.”
“It was. It was always bustling with people, whether they were part of the family or people taken in because they had nowhere else to go. No one was ever turned away and Madge couldn’t bear to leave anyone alone when they needed a roof over their head and some love in their time of need.”
“She sounds like a very generous lady.”
“She is. She and Jem made a very good pairing and are still very happy, even now. Their first two children were born here and other family members made their home with them, too. They looked after Madge’s nephews and nieces for many years while their parents lived out in India. Jem’s sister and her two children also lived here.”
“It must have been a very busy household.”
“It was. They also looked after various other children who had parents at the Sanatorium and no other relatives to care for them during the holidays as well as being guardians to various others.” Hannah allowed the silence to fall between them as Jack retreated into his memories. She knew he had missed someone during his talk and suspected that he was reluctant to mention his fiancée to her. Hannah glanced across at him and saw he had closed his eyes. She moved closer, placing her hand gently on his arm.
Jack felt the hand on his arm and finally looked at Hannah. He saw the soft look in her eyes and finally realised the truth of his sister’s words in her letter. Hannah wanted to be there with him, she wanted him to be able to feel comfortable with her in all his moods and, most especially when he was feeling vulnerable. He sighed.
“I didn’t expect this place to be abandoned as well as the other chalets.” Jack spoke almost to himself. “I suppose I thought it would still be inhabited with people as it had always been when we lived here. I should have known better.”
“You weren’t to know, Jack. You said this morning that no one had been since you all left before the war. We could have asked Herr Becker, but I suppose that wouldn’t have helped, would it? You needed to come, regardless.” Jack nodded before drawing in a deep breath.
“This is where I proposed to Jo. It’s where our relationship developed and where I first fell in love with her. I knew she was the one a long time before she had any idea but, I also knew that she needed to make her own mind up about her future. I had no intention of forcing her into a decision and I had my reward after the picnic when she said yes.” Jack let out a hard laugh. “Two months later, she was dead. Killed by Nazis who decided she should be the target practice in their game. She was twenty and had her whole future ahead of her, yet those bastards took it away with two bullets. We’d only announced our engagement two weeks before we had to flee. Our families knew, but Jo had asked that we didn’t make it public until after Juliet’s wedding as she didn’t want to overshadow it. That was Jo all over. She cared about everyone and anyone. Don’t get me wrong, I knew she wasn’t perfect, and she would have been the first to admit the same. She had a hot temper and would quite often argue with her friend, Grizel. They were very alike in temperament and regularly rubbed each other up the wrong way, but Jo would never let an argument come between them and she was fiercely protective of her as well.” Jack turned away from the gate and Hannah sensed his barriers rising once more. “Come on. Let’s go and see what state the Sanatorium is in. If it’s still standing, that is.”
Leading the way through the village, Jack pointed out several chalets, telling Hannah who had lived in each as they passed. The frescos on Das Pferd, which had been the Mensches chalet, were faded, but it was still possible to make out the hunting scene. Eventually, they passed the last chalet and Jack turned into some gates. Walking up the driveway, Hannah could see some small huts scattered around in the grounds.
“Why are there little huts all over?”
“They’re summerhouses. Patients would use them for shelter from the wind and the heat of the sun where they were sitting out in the grounds during the day. Only ambulatory patients were allowed into the grounds. Those on bedrest would be wheeled out onto the balcony if they were well enough.”
“I see. How long were patients here for?”
“It depended. The lucky ones would only be here for a year, but others were here for far longer and a number of patients didn’t survive. Treatment for tuberculosis was a lot different before the war and new advances have now made the old method pretty much obsolete.”
They turned the corner and came upon the building. Jack could see that it had been allowed to fall into disrepair in places, but, otherwise, it was remarkably still standing. He walked up to the front entrance and pushed the door. It yielded and he pushed it further open, motioning for Hannah to follow him. She did so, reluctantly.
“Should we be in here?”
“Probably not. I’m intrigued, though and want to investigate. You can wait outside if you’d prefer?”
“What do you want to see?” Jack led the way down a corridor, stopping before a door. He wiped his hand on the glass and Hannah saw Jack’s name appear. Jack tried the handle, but it didn’t yield. He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out his keys. Searching through them, he selected one and tried it in the lock. Hannah heard it turn and looked at Jack, who just smiled and opened the door.
They entered the office and Jack looked around, noting that the furniture was still how he had arranged it all those years ago. He crossed to the desk and opened a drawer. It was empty, so he closed it and moved across to the filing cabinet. Hannah watched quietly from near the door. She sensed he was looking for something but, she was loath to break the silence in the room. After a thorough investigation, Jack finally turned back to Hannah.
“There’s nothing here. Come on. Let’s go.” He ushered her out and locked the door behind him once more, before leading her down the corridor towards another room. This time, the door gave on his push and he entered silently. Hannah noted the chairs scattered around the room, some upturned as if they had been hurriedly pushed out of the way. Jack skirted round them and opened another door, disappearing inside. Hannah waited.
When Jack finally reappeared, it was obvious something was bothering him, but he just gestured Hannah back out and led the way back into the fresh air once more. He walked quickly away from the Sanatorium, leaving Hannah behind as his need to be away from there overtook him. She watched him disappear down the drive and turn away from the village, but by the time she reached the gates, he was nowhere to be seen. Hannah sighed and looked around for somewhere to wait.
Hannah was pacing up and down in an effort to keep warm when Jack finally came back into view. The wind was biting and there was no shelter from it. She waited for him to reach her before she spoke.
“Jack?”
“We need to go, now. You’re cold.” Without waiting for a response, he turned away and led the way back to the car, leaving Hannah to follow in his wake. She understood the abruptness in his tone and remained silent on the journey back down the mountainside, allowing Jack the space to process what he had seen. When they reached the hotel, Jack stopped the engine and turned to her.
“I need to walk. Do you mind if I go alone?”
“Of course not.” Hannah shivered a little. Jack noticed, despite his preoccupation.
“Go and get yourself warmed up or you’ll catch cold. I shouldn’t have left you to wait all that time outside.”
“I’m fine, Jack.” Jack opened the door and climbed out, Hannah doing the same. He walked her up to the hotel door, holding it open for her to enter. Hannah turned back to him.
“Please be careful while you’re out.”
“I will. I’ll be back in time for dinner.” He let the door go and set off in the snow. Hannah watched him until he was out of sight before slowly going to her room and running a hot bath.
*****
Hannah was sitting in the hotel foyer when Jack finally returned. From the corner of her eye, she saw him bang the snow off his boots and remove his hat before he spotted her and walked over to where she was sitting with her book. As he approached, Hannah noted that he looked much calmer than when he had left her earlier.
“May I?” he asked, gesturing to the seat beside her. Hannah closed her book and nodded. He perched on the edge of the chair where he could see her properly.
“Thank you. I just wanted to apologise for leaving you alone this afternoon.”
“There is no need for an apology. I told you before we came that if you needed time alone, I was happy to stay in the hotel with my book or sewing.”
“I know and I appreciate it. What time is dinner?”
“It’s in half an hour or so. You ought to go and get changed before you catch cold.” Jack looked down at his damp clothes and managed a small smile at Hannah’s reference to his own comment earlier that day.
“Yes. I won’t be long.” Rising, he turned to the stairs and disappeared up to his room.
Jack quickly showered and changed. He paused before he left the room. He felt as if something had brushed past him, but he knew he was alone. He shook his head as if to clear it and walked slowly downstairs back to Hannah.
The meal was quiet. Jack was brooding on his day and Hannah was reluctant to break his silence. She sensed that he was unhappy and needed space to sort his mind out. Although she had seen him drop into despair on a couple of occasions since their friendship had begun, this was the first time she had seen the haunted look in his eyes since Maria had died. It was clear that the trip to the Sonnalpe that morning had brought back some memory he’d rather have kept buried.
After they’d eaten, they both returned to the foyer for a drink before bed. Jack stared silently into the bottom of his whisky glass.
“Jack?” Hannah was hesitant, not wishing to anger him.
“Mmm?” He finally looked up at Hannah and saw the worry on her face. He sighed, knowing what she was going to ask and unsure if he was ready to tell her.
“What happened at the Sanatorium, this morning?”
“Memories,” he answered, shortly and Hannah sighed to herself. Jack heard her. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to be short with you. I just…” he tailed off, pausing a moment as he tried to gather his thoughts. “I didn’t think coming here would be this difficult. I ought to have known better, really.”
“I think that’s an excuse. A poor one as well. You enjoyed your day around the lakeside yesterday and shared many happy memories at the same time. You even had some good memories this morning when we wandered around the village up on the Sonnalpe.”
“You’re right. It is a poor excuse. I just don’t think I’m ready to talk about it yet.”
“Then don’t, but please, don’t let that one bad memory spoil your trip. If you need space to sort yourself out, then take as much as you want and don’t apologise for it. I think you know me well enough by now. I’m not going to be offended by you leaving me alone. However, if you do want to talk, you know where I am.” Hannah put her glass gently on the table and rose from her seat. As she passed Jack, she rested her hand on his shoulder, pausing long enough to allow him to place his hand on top of it, a gesture which surprised both of them. Hannah’s eyes softened, understanding that he needed her, even as he was pushing her away. She squeezed his shoulder and gently pulled away, turning towards the stairs.
“Goodnight, Jack. I hope you get some rest.” Jack managed a small smile, knowing he wouldn’t be sleeping well tonight.
“Goodnight Hannah. Sleep well.” He watched her walk upstairs and returned to staring into the bottom of his whisky glass.
*****
Jack was up early the next morning. He’d spent most of the night tossing and turning before eventually giving up on sleep. Turning on the bedside lamp, he read doggedly until the clock in the hallway struck six. Rising, he’d put on his dressing gown and slippers, before sitting down at the small writing table in the corner to begin a long letter to his sister.
When he next heard the clock strike, he realised it was eight o’clock and Frühstück was in half an hour. He slowly capped his pen as he glanced over the pages scattered across the table. He gathered them together, putting them in order and placing them into an envelope before quickly addressing it ready to post later. He then showered and dressed before descending to breakfast and whatever the day might bring.
Frühstück was eaten mainly in silence again. Hannah noted that Jack looked tired and suspected that he hadn’t slept. She knew better than to ask the obvious, though.
“What do you plan to do today?” Hannah asked as she picked up her coffee.
“I need to post a letter this morning, but otherwise I have nothing I particularly want to do,” Jack replied between mouthfuls. “Was there anything you wanted to do?”
“Not really. I wouldn’t mind a walk, though. I could do with some fresh air.”
“We can post my letter at the same time, then.” Hannah nodded her assent.
“Is there anything you’d particularly like to see?” Jack asked as he cleared his plate.
“Not really. I haven’t seen the Dripping Rock yet, though so we could try that way.”
“It seems safe enough in that direction at the moment. It looked very striking when I passed it yesterday.”
“Are you finished?”
“Yes. At least, I think so.” Hannah smiled and waited while Jack decided. He’d eaten far more than Hannah had expected while they had been here, so she wasn’t surprised when he rose and went to get another helping. She couldn’t help laughing as he returned with another plateful of food.
“Obviously not then. I don’t know where you’ve been putting everything. You don’t normally eat as much at home, do you?”
“No. It must be the air here. It’s made me hungrier than normal.”
Eventually, Jack had eaten his fill and they both rose from the table and went to collect their things from their rooms. Once they were ready, they pulled on their outdoor garments and set off out into the cold air. They walked into the village first so that Jack could post his letter, before turning towards the lakeside path and the Dripping Rock. Hannah had spotted the address on the envelope and hoped that he had unburdened himself to his sister. She noticed that he seemed a little more like himself this morning, despite his quietness and obvious lack of sleep.
They walked quickly along the path, soon reaching the place where the Dripping Rock stood, giant icicles glistening in the winter sunshine. Hannah smiled as she saw it, remembering past winters long ago when she had been a child. Once she had seen her fill, they moved on, walking with more care, now. The path was narrow and precarious in places, particularly in the snow. When they reached Geisalm, they paused for a short time while Hannah regained her breath.
“Shall we continue on to Scholastica?” Jack asked as he leaned on the fence. Hannah glanced at her watch.
“Yes. The hotel should be open so we can eat there and then have time to walk back.”
“Come on then. We should make good time along here now. The path is pretty level.”
“As long as you don’t go striding off ahead. I can’t keep up with you, then.”
“Fair point. I’ll try not to do that again. I’m so used to walking at my own pace, I forget you’re so much smaller than me. If you’ve got your breath back, shall we carry on?” Hannah nodded and they walked on, Jack allowing her to set the speed this time.
When they finally reached Scholastica, Hannah was tired. Although she was used to walking in Switzerland, she generally only had short distances between jobs and visits and could walk at her own speed. Despite his attempts to stick to her pace, Jack still walked on ahead, leaving her to almost trot along in his wake. She was thankful when they reached the hotel where she could sit down and rest.
Jack was happy to stay where they were for a couple of hours, realising that Hannah needed to recover from their walk. Although she hadn’t complained, he noted the tiredness on her face and decided that they had enough time for her to recover before they needed to set off back to Briesau. He let the conversation languish as they waited for a table.
After they’d eaten, Jack glanced at his watch and realised that they didn’t have much daylight left if they were to walk back. He mentioned this to Hannah and they donned their outdoor things once more before heading back out in to the cold air.
Ambling along together, Jack realised that he was actually enjoying being in Hannah’s company despite his fears over this trip. He knew he’d faced a few demons, especially the morning he’d taken her up to the Sonnalpe. He realised that he had more happy memories than bad here on the lakeside and that he may be able to make more in the future with Hannah by his side. He knew that her friendship was something he valued, along with that of Jem and Gottfried, both of whom had supported him throughout all his ups and downs since he had returned after the war.
When they finally reached their hotel, it was obvious to Jack that Hannah had had enough for the day.
“Why don’t you go and lie down for an hour before diner?” he suggested as they walked through the door.
“I think I will. I’ve not walked so far and at such speed for a long time.”
“I’m sorry. You should have stopped me striding off. I’m so used to walking at my own pace.”
“Don’t apologise. It’s probably done me good to have some proper exercise. Shall I meet you here before dinner?”
“Yes. I think I’ll have a wander around the village as I’m still feeling a little fidgety.”
“Take care, Jack. The light has faded now.”
“I will. I need to tire myself out though, or I won’t sleep again tonight. I’ll see you later.” He turned and walked back through the door. Hannah watched him go before she set off upstairs to her room.
Hannah ran herself a bath and soaked for a while. When she had finished, she donned her dressing gown, before dropping onto the bed and falling asleep. When she woke, she realised that she just had time to wash and dress before dinner. Her thoughts turned to Jack and she hoped that he had come to no harm whilst he had been out. She knew he had needed to go but she worried, nonetheless. His mood had been quite up and down all day and she hoped that some time alone will have given him the space to order his thoughts and sort himself out.
Strolling down to the reception area, Hannah discovered that she was the first to arrive. She found a seat by the window and waited for Jack to arrive. She was thankful she had dropped her book into her handbag as she pulled it out and settled down to read. She was soon engrossed in the story and didn’t notice Jack return.
When Jack returned to the hotel, he hadn’t realised that he was so late until he spotted Hannah reading by the window. Running upstairs, he quickly showered and pulled some clothes out to wear. Sitting down on the bed to pull his socks on, he felt the strange draft against his hair again.
“Not now, Jo. I’m already late.” He stood to pull his shirt on and was fastening the buttons when he noticed a sliver of paper on the floor by his shoes. He bent down and picked it up, intending to drop it in the bin, but he saw there was writing on it. He stopped and turned it over to see it was just a sliver of an old letter he’d once received. Some of the pieces must have landed in his case when he’d ripped it up. He read the few words he could see and realised why he’d felt the draft. It was telling him to listen to Hannah and to talk to her about Jo.
“I will. Not here, though. When we’re back in Switzerland. I need to know I have space and time to deal with it afterwards. She’s heard the bare essentials and doesn’t need the rest here.” He dropped the paper in the bin and finished dressing quickly. Picking up his jacket, he walked out of the door, turning the light off as he went and headed downstairs to greet Hannah.
*****
The next morning saw Jack and Hannah packing their suitcases and stowing them back into the car, ready for their journey back to Switzerland and the Görnetz Platz. Once they’d eaten their fill, they settled their bill and thanked their host before climbing into the car for the journey home. They planned to stop in Innsbruck for the morning before Jack drove the rest of the way home.
They spent an enjoyable morning wandering around the sights in Innsbruck, before finding a restaurant for Mittagessen. Once they’d ordered, a companionable silence fell between them as they waited for their drinks to arrive. Hannah watched Jack, noting that he seemed a little distant. She decided she should try to bring him back from his brooding.
“How did you find being back at the Tiernsee?”
“Hm?” Jack looked up at Hannah, realising that he wasn’t paying attention. Hannah repeated her question.
“It was better than I expected. I think I’d like to come back again.”
“Maybe when the weather is warmer, we could do that. It would be nice to see it in summer again.”
“Yes.” Jack paused as their drinks arrived. “Thank you for coming with me. I know I’ve not been very good company.”
“Thank you for allowing me to come with you. I know this week has been difficult at times for you, but I’m glad you felt you could share at least a little bit of your past with me.”
“My past is painful in the main. Maybe next time I could show you some happier things.”
“I’d like that.”
“How about I show you my homeland next time?”
“I’ve never been to England. I don’t even know any of the language.” Jack smiled in response.
“Maybe Hansi and I could begin teaching you? His English is quite good now.”
“I didn’t know he spoke any. I know he’d learnt a little in the war, but I thought he’d forgotten it all.”
“I hope I haven’t given his secret away!” Jack looked a little conscience-stricken. “I thought you knew he’d been learning.”
“No. I had no idea. When has he had chance? I thought he was always busy with work.”
“He joined a class in Interlaken when he goes down for his college day. In between, I talk to him, so he gets to practice.”
“That’s very kind of you. How do you manage to fit that in as well as everything else?”
“Oh, it’s not difficult. We see each other quite often in work, so I make sure I speak English to him each time. In fact, he’s becoming confident enough to speak with the few English-speaking patients we have at the moment.”
“I’m glad. He was always such a shy child.” Hannah broke off as Mittagessen arrived. The silence lingered as they both tucked into the delicious meal before them. Eventually Hannah spoke again.
“I think I’d quite like to see England and where you were brought up. I’m not sure you’ll be able to teach me much of your language though.”
“I thought not,” Jack replied with a smile. “I’ll have to persevere in trying to teach you the joys of tea instead.”
“Never! I think that is one English custom I will never be able to understand or enjoy.” Jack just laughed in response as their waiter brought out Apfeltorte for dessert. They ate it quickly and then requested the bill as they had a long drive ahead.
Once they were back in the car and heading back to Switzerland, Jack turned back to the subject of their trip.
“I won’t be going back up to the Sonnalpe again. Too many bad memories lingered after that day.”
“I understand. At least you can say you’ve put those ghosts to rest for now.”
“I suppose so. I hadn’t expected to see the place so deserted and no longer used, but I suppose it was because it was a village built because of the Sanatorium. Once that was closed, there was no need for the village anymore as everyone who worked there would have had to find work elsewhere.”
“It’s quite inaccessible, too. No one would want to stay up there if there were no amenities. Maybe one day, you’ll feel able to return and remember the good things.”
“I doubt it. Although I know I have happy memories up there, I think the ending is what will always remain foremost. If what we went through in those final days up there hadn’t happened, I may have been leading a very different life. It did happen, though and I’ve been left to make the best of it, somehow.”
“We may never have met in that case.”
“I know and I’m grateful that I have met you, even though the circumstances weren’t ideal each time we crossed paths. I’m grumpy, set in my ways and ungrateful at times, but I do appreciate your friendship. It means more than you probably realise, especially when I’m down. I may disappear and avoid you, but I still need you in the same way that I need Jem and Gottfried. Between the three of you, I know I’ll be safe, whatever life throws at me.”
“I understand. I’m grateful to have met you, too. If it hadn’t been for you when we were in Zurich, Maria would have never lived for as long as she did. Because you cared, we had time with her. I know you won’t accept thanks but, it’s true. It’s your nature and that’s why you do what you do so well, despite your moods. You’ll always have people to pick you back up when you fall, as I’m sure you’ve been told numerous times before. I’m glad you consider me to be one of them.”
Hannah fell quiet, leaving Jack to digest what she’d said. He concentrated on driving for a while, allowing a silence to fall between them. He wasn’t sure how to respond to her. He had always found it awkward when someone thanked him or praised his skills and this was no exception. When he felt he had formed a response in his mind, he looked across to see that she had fallen asleep. He managed a smile to himself, grateful he had no need to respond and continued to drive along the Autobahn back into Switzerland.