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You Die, I Die

Summary:

Steve was going insane. He couldn’t handle this much longer. He couldn’t handle sitting there in his cell, knowing that Peter was out there being tortured and experimented on. He had seen how bad Peter looked after the first experiments, he could only imagine how he’d look when Steve would see him next.

It was his fault Peter even made it here. Tony had wanted someone to sit in with Peter to make sure he didn’t leave, but Steve had stopped him. He had insisted on just settling with an Avenger keeping an eye on the door.

“Peter’s a teenager, Tones. He should be smart enough to not sneak out. He doesn’t need a babysitter.”

Apparently, he did.

Notes:

So,, instead of writing what I'm supposed to be working on, I wrote this because I live for angst. Also, if you couldn't tell from the title, this is loosely based on a scene from Insurgent. Anyway, here we gooo

Work Text:

It had all started two days before. The Avengers were watching a movie when they received a video. A video from the Secretary of State, Thaddeus Ross. It seemed innocent enough, so they played it.

“Avengers. You have caused the world so much pain in your ‘saving’ of the world. You think that your reckless behavior is heroic. Instead, it costs many people their lives.” Already off to a great start. They got videos like this weekly, just not from the Secretary of State. That was the only reason they kept watching.

“In order for you to start to make up for your actions, I only ask for one thing. I ask for you to send us your son, Peter.”

And suddenly the video was no longer so innocent. All eyes turned to the boy who stood frozen, staring at the video as it played on.

“As Spider-Man, he has brought much pain unto others as well. But don’t worry, we won’t kill him. We’re not monsters. No, we just want him to help us with some... experiments, if you will. To create a new super-soldier serum. Your son has very unique gifts. If we could just get samples and experiments done, new doors would be opened to making a better, cleaner world. Our men would have new abilities that even go past the skills that the previous super-soldiers had.”

“The choice is yours. You can either give us your son in the next... 24 hours, and he should return by the end of the week. Or, you can fail to do so and we will make things much much harder for you all. As said before, the choice is yours. Your time starts... now.”

“Oh, and don’t try to turn me in. Who are people going to believe? Me? Or some childish millionaire and his goonies? I can make things harder for all of you. See you soon, Peter.”

The video went black and everyone went quiet, still processing what had just happened.

Eventually, Tony said, “we can agree that we’re not going to give Peter to these people, right?”

All of the Avengers nodded, murmuring their agreement as Peter shook himself out of his shock.

“Really?” He said, causing heads to turn his way yet again. “That’s it? They threaten to do these things and we’re just going to let them?”

“Peter, you know people make these threats all of the time.” Steve went over to his son and rested his hand on his shoulder. “And we always deal with it without giving into their demands.”

“Yeah, but those people aren’t running the government!”

“Friday? Did you manage to get the video?”

“I’m afraid the video deleted all traces after it finished, boss.”

“Darn it,” Tony muttered. He shook his head and finally said, “Even so, we aren’t just going to let them take you, Pete.”

“If I don’t go, who knows what they’ll do? What lives they might take! Dad, I can’t just let them ruin lives for others when I could just go get experimented on for a week!”

“How do we know that’s all they’re going to do? How do we know that you will return at the end of the week? Or at all for that matter?”

Peter stayed silent as his dad approached him. “You’re not going. End of conversation.” He looked Peter in the eyes before looking at Steve and seeming to come to an agreement about something without even saying a thing.

“Let the adults figure it out, okay?” Steve sighed and walked off with the other Avengers, leaving Peter alone, their movie still playing as he flopped back onto the couch. He hated it when they did that. The adults are talking. Let the adults figure it out. Leave so we can talk about what we're going to do about you, even though it's your life. He was almost seventeen for heavens sake. He wasn't a child.

It would be so easy to leave right now. To just jump out of the window or into the elevator. Those ideas were quickly shot down however when he realized how quickly the others would catch them. No, he’d have to wait.

He was obviously going to have to go. He didn’t know what they were going to do with him, but he knew he couldn’t let anyone else suffer because yet another person was mad at the Avengers. His only choice was going and doing what they wanted. Maybe Ross was right. Maybe he would be back by the end of the week. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

The adult Avengers spent the rest of the day holed up in another room, discussing how they would deal with this. Natasha left at some point during the day with no explanation. Meanwhile, Peter spent the rest of the day thinking of how he would get out to the location.

-

Peter didn’t risk going out of the usual exits. If he did, he would most definitely be found and be forced to stay in his room with an Avenger keeping watch. So, the window was his best option.

Around 1 or so in the morning, he put on his suit and made his way over to the window, leaving a note on his pillow for when they inevitably would find him missing in the morning.

“I’m supposed to alert the others if you leave or if anyone comes in,” Friday chirped in quietly as Peter stuck his leg out the window. Peter jumped, hitting his head on the open window. He winced and rubbed his head.

“Yeah, but you won’t, right?”

“Yessir," Friday said, sounding annoyed that she had let herself be talked into this. He couldn't blame her, but he just had to go.

“And you’ll try to delay them from following me if they try?”

“I’ll do my best, sir.”

“Thank you, Fri. You know this is for the best.”

“Of course. Just try not to die, Peter.”

"I'll do my best."

And with that, Peter slipped out the window and to find Ross.

-

When he arrived, he was met by an abundance of guards, weapons at the ready. Peter held his arms up in surrender, letting two men grab his arms and take him into the building.

"That was fast," the one to Peter's right said. "Told you he'd do it."

"Yeah, yeah," The guard on his left admitted, a defeated tone to his voice. "I'll give you your money later, just don't rub it in, alright?"

“Glad you could join us, Peter.”

Peter winced as the men holding him pulled off his mask, revealing his face to the Secretary of State. “Oh, Mr. Ross. it’s a pleasure, really. Why wouldn’t I want to let you experiment on me?”

“That’s the spirit.” Ross nodded to his men. "Thank you for coming, Peter. Honestly. It was the best choice for both of us. Now, take him to the cell and take away the suit. She should be waiting there with new clothes." He turned his attention to Peter as the men began to take him away. "We start in the morning. Might as well rest up, we're going to need you at your best."

The walk to the cell was long, giving Peter a chance to annoy the guards to his hearts' content.

"So," Peter said to the guard to his left, or, as he liked to call him, Unnamed Guard Number One, "The government's fine with you doing this? Just taking me and experimenting on a teenager?"

Unnamed Guard Number One shook his head. "Boss told 'em we were working on a super soldier serum with the Avengers. He just left out a few details."

"And technically, we didn't take you. You turned yourself in."

"By Jove, you've got me there, Unnamed Guard Number Two. But what happens when they find out how you got the Avengers to comply?"

"They won't," Unnamed Guard Number One said, pushing the barrel of his gun that he had been holding loosely before into Peter's back. "Because if someone does tell 'em, you and your family will pay."

Peter gulped. "Got it. Just wondering."

They turned the corner into his cell and Natasha stood there, holding what looked like new clothes for Peter.

Peter's jaw dropped. "Nat?" He felt relief fill his body. She was there to help him, right? I mean, he didn't want any of the Avengers to come join him, but if anyone could help him deal with Ross, it was Natasha.

Natasha, however, met him with a cold look of... disappointment. "Here are your clothes, and this is your cell. We'll leave and let you change, and then we'll come back to retrieve your suit. Your communication has already been cutoff, so don't bother trying to get in contact with anyone."

The unnamed guards let go of Peter and the teen made his way over to Natasha. "What are you doing? Nat. Don't tell me you're working with these bozos!"

Natasha dropped the clothes into Peter's arms and pushed past him. "We'll be back soon. Get changed. Don't try anything stupid. I know that will be hard for you."

Under other circumstances, Peter would have taken that as a joke. He and Clint made jokes like that all of the time. But now that Natasha was against him, it hurt. He watched her leave and realized just how lonely he really was.

-

The experiments were tough.

Let it be known that Peter Rogers-Stark was not easily worn down. So, this sudden feeling of exhaustion he had after only one day of experiments was not a good sign.

The experiments consisted of a lot of things. Taking his blood, testing his strength and endurance, testing his healing... it was not fun. And according to Ross, they had to continue these experiments to make sure that they got "accurate results." That meant he would have to go through this process, everyday, for days on end. He got sore just thinking about it.

“Come on, Peter.” Natasha walked into the room, the same two unnamed guards behind her. Peter tried to look for some friendliness in her eyes but found none. Instead, he found cold, focused determination. “We’ve got a surprise for you.” Peter nodded dejectedly and stood up, the men immediately grabbing his arms and walking him along. As if he needed them to. Even if he did try to run away, Natasha wouldn't let him move more than two feet.

As they rounded the corner out of the cell, his questions about what the surprise was were immediately answered as he saw his Pops pacing in the nearby cell.

“Pops?” Peter’s eyes widened and he began to fight against the men's grip. He was supposed to have more time. He had hoped that Friday would have been able to delay them a little longer or that maybe they could be convinced that he didn't need them to rescue him. Obviously that didn't work out.

Steve immediately looked up and ran over to the clear cell door, beginning to pound on it, trying to break it with no luck. “Pete!” He yelled back.

They yelled for each other as Peter was ultimately dragged away. On any other day, he could have easily broken free of their grasp and gotten to his Pops, but he was just so tired from the experiments there wasn’t much he could do. To make matters worse, Natasha seemed to have injected something into him. Most likely to calm him. It wasn't working very well, but nothing had during this whole fiasco, so that was to be expected.

Steve was left in the cell as they dragged his son away, two more unnamed guards keeping watch outside his cell door. He fell back into the cell bed, defeated. This certainly hadn’t gone as well as he’d hoped.

Tony had found the note and Peter’s bed empty the morning Peter left and they all agreed that it was best to send one Avenger at first to make sure Ross didn't take anything out on Peter. So, Steve left soon after to find his son. They seemed to expect his arrival however, because when he got there, he was met by an army of weapons. Steve Rogers was an amazing fighter. Anyone who had heard about him could agree on that. But he got overwhelmed by men and soon was taken in, seen by Ross, and put in a cell. So much for a rescue.

Why was Natasha here? Why would she be helping these people? It had to be a way to save Peter, right?

No, maybe not. Natasha had a lot of red in her ledger. Perhaps she had worked a deal to get that red wiped out. When she was overseeing Peter being dragged away, she hadn’t the slightest look of remorse in her eyes.

This wasn’t good.

Of course, none of it was good, but Natasha being on the opposite side was in no way helping their case. If she was helping Ross, that meant that she could easily contact the other Avengers and deter them from rescuing Peter. Steve’s gear had been taken when he had been taken in, meaning he had no shield, no way to contact Tony, no way out.

Now, all he could do was wait.

-

 

Steve was going insane. He couldn’t handle this much longer. He couldn’t handle sitting there in his cell, knowing that Peter was out there being tortured and experimented on. He had seen how bad Peter looked after the first experiments, he could only imagine how he’d look when Steve would see him next.

It was his fault Peter even made it here. Tony had wanted someone to sit in with Peter to make sure he didn’t leave, but Steve had stopped him. He had insisted on just settling with an Avenger keeping an eye on the door.

“Peter’s a teenager, Tones. He should be smart enough to not sneak out. He doesn’t need a babysitter.”

Apparently, he did.

Steve was resuming his pacing he had taken up before when he first saw Peter. What if Ross was harder on Peter because of Steve's arrival? What if he was hurt? What if, what if, what if?

Two or so hours after the last time he saw Peter, Natasha made her way down the hallway, pushing a table of some sort. As the guards nodded at Natasha and opened Steve’s cell door, he immediately thought the worst of the cloth-covered table. He tried to push that thought away as he slowly made his way to the door. It didn't have to be what he thought it was.

“Ross wanted you to see this,” Natasha said, taking a deep breath and lifting up the sheet on top of the table.

Steve’s breaths hitched as he took in what he saw. No. No no no no no.

He stepped closer and inspected the figure to see his son’s dead face facing him, eyes shut. His hands trembled as he touched his son’s cold forehead and curls. It couldn’t be. It just couldn’t be.

It was Steve's own fault. If he had fought harder before and actually rescued him, Peter would be alive. If he had listened to Tony and made sure that Peter didn't leave, Peter would still be alive. But he didn't do either.

Steve looked up at Natasha and the grief that had fueled him seconds before turned to anger. Her. She was supposed to be a teammate. A friend. Now, she had helped the person who killed his son, his Peter.

In a split second, he lunged at her, arms going for her throat as she stepped back to the wall. He pinned her against it as she just let it happen, the two guards trying to restrain him.

“You- you were supposed to protect him.” Steve’s fist made its way to Natasha’s face as the men tried to restrain him. "You were supposed to keep him safe. You promised!" The only thing that mattered was that his son was gone.

That is until he heard gasping breaths followed by coughs from behind them. Steve and the guards froze before Steve turned back to see his son, doubled over and coughing.

“Hey, Steve?” Natasha said, still pinned against the wall. “Maybe do that thing you do?”

Steve understood. He let go of Natasha and punched a guard in the face before they could do anything about it.

As soon as the guards were both passed out, Steve rushed over to Peter and took him into his arms, startling the boy. Upon realizing what was going on, Peter immediately hugged back.

“What, you think I’d actually help these idiots? I’m hurt, Steve.” Natasha stepped over the men and to the table. “As soon as I realized that Peter would be the self-sacrificing kid he is, I knew I had to come here and keep an eye on things.”

“When he was freaking out about you being here, I injected Bruce’s old tranquilizer serum into him so that they would think he’s dead and we could get him out of here. They had him doing some pretty intense stuff in there, so it would be believable enough for him to drop.”

Steve pulled away from the hug and looked up at Natasha, trying not to linger on the thought of it being believable that his son could have died in the conditions he was in. “Thank you, Nat.”

“No problem. Let’s just get this kid outta here, okay?”

Steve nodded and looked at Peter who was sitting up, swinging his legs to over the edge of the table.

“Are you okay? Can you stand?”

Peter nodded. “Other than being temporarily dead, I’m fine. Just tired and ready to get back to the tower.”

Steve offered Peter his arm for support. “You and me both, Pete. Let’s go get our stuff then go home.”

Natasha led them down the halls, trying to distract guards from their presence as best as she could, muttering as she went. "After Peter went limp, I called Tony. Him and Thor were on their way and Clint and Bruce are getting Fury and the authorities to come. I've been recording what Ross has been doing the entire time I've been here, so there is no way he can get out of this."

The group reached the room their stuff was kept in soon after, only having to knock out three more unnamed guards on their way. Natasha used her security card to open the door and stood outside as their lookout. Steve and Peter searched the room, quickly finding their suits and weapons.

"So, Pete."

"So, Pops." Peter already knew what was coming. He slipped his web shooters onto his wrists, pocketed his suit, and braced himself for a lecture.

"What exactly were you thinking, coming here?" Steve picked up his shield and headed for the door. "Like, honestly. Did you think we'd just let you do this? That you'd be able to go through this without us coming to get you?"

"I didn't think I'd get away with it. I hoped, though." Peter slowly followed after his Pops.

"Peter. We told you that we'd deal with it. We told you that you shouldn't go and that we would handle it together."

"Yeah, well, that wasn't your decision to make. They wanted me. It was my choice. Was it stupid? I mean, I guess. But I'd rather something happen to me than to someone else!"

"Are you two arguing already?" Natasha sighed as they made their way back into the hallway. "You can do this later. Clint and Tony are practically right outside along with Fury and the authorities. If you stop bickering and drawing attention to us, we can probably get out without Ross noticing. Now shut up and let's get out of here."

Steve and Peter went silent after that, following after Natasha. Peter had to web a few guys to the wall to keep them quiet, but other than that, it was smooth sailing to the door.

At least, until they got to the door and saw Ross waiting.

"Peter! Looking alive and well, I see."

Peter looked around. "Wait a minute- is this not heaven? Huh, silly me. Must've taken a wrong turn. Well, if you'd just step aside, I'll make my way there and-"

Ross stepped closer to the trio. "I don't think so." He looked at Natasha. "I really should have expected this, huh?"

"Yes, yes you should have," Natasha replied, pulling her gun out of her holster and aiming it at Ross.

"Look, I know that you have dealt with a lot of my men. But I have plenty more soldiers willing to help keep you all here for these experiments, so why don't we just go back to your cells and not make this get ugly, alright?"

"Or, you can let my son and husband go and I don't have the god of thunder strike you down," Tony spat, standing behind Ross with Thor beside him. "Choice is yours, Ross." Ross froze before looking down and raising his arms in defeat. "Good boy," Tony said as Shield agents rushed in and grabbed him by the arms.

As soon as Ross was out of the building, Tony rushed over to Steve and Peter, enveloping them both in a hug. "Thank goodness you're both okay." He looked Peter over, saw how tired and bloody he looked and added, "Er, mostly okay. Come on, let's get you to the med bay."

"Sounds good to me." All the exhaustion Peter had been feeling the past two days seemed to weigh down on him as his dads held his arms. Not like the unnamed guards did, where they were dragging him and pulling him. No, the way that his dads did this was supportive. It was letting Peter know that he didn't have to be alone. He didn't have to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. And for once, he let that weight he always carried drop.

-

How many times had Peter been in the med bay? Spoiler alert: it’s a lot. How many of those times had been due to his own self-sacrificial tendencies? Another spoiler: most of them.

It was late in the day when Natasha walked into the med bay for her shift of Peter watch, carrying a smoothie. She smiled sadly as she and Peter made eye contact.

“Lookin’ good, bud.” She gave him the smoothie, looking over his still healing wounds. “Looking better, at least.”

"Thanks." Peter took the smoothie and sipped on it. "How's the whole Ross situation going?"

"Fury's got him in DC and your dads are overseeing the building investigation as we speak." Natasha sat down on the end of the bed, hands in her lap. "What lies he's made up to try and get out of this are yet to be disclosed, but I'm sure we'll find out soon."

Peter nodded and set the cup down, looking at Natasha. He smiled when he saw friendliness in her eyes, not the harsh disappointment he had become acquainted with over the last two days.

“Look, I just wanted to say that I’m… I’m sorry you had to see me like that. I’m sorry that I treated you so harshly in there and, you know, kind of killed you for a while. I just had to make sure they actually believed I was on their side and not helping you.”

Peter shook his head. “Don't be. I get it, Nat. If you hadn’t done what you did, who knows what would have happened? You did what you had to do."

Natasha nodded, visibly relaxing at the teen's forgiveness. After a while, she let out a small chuckle. "Your Pops is never going to let you out of his sight, you know that?"

Peter laughed. "I know. I'm never gonna be allowed to leave the tower ever again. Say goodbye to Peter and hello to Rapunzel, Natasha. Stuck in the tower until some prince rescues me."

"I don't know about a prince, but I know that if you ever get into a situation like this again, you can count on me trying my hardest to rescue you. That doesn't mean continue to do stuff like this, of course, but it does mean that I'm here for you, even if I have to act like I hate your guts."

"Thanks, Nat." Peter grabbed his smoothie again and fiddled with the straw. "I'll also have you know that I'd prefer you over a prince any day."

-

Steve sat upright in bed, hand over his chest and his breaths deep and loud. Tony, who was possibly the lightest sleeper in the world, immediately sat up after him, quick to comfort him.

“Hey, you’re okay. Peter’s okay. I’m here.” Tony held his husband close, knowing exactly what this was about. “He’s in the med bay, Clint and Bruce are staying with him.”

Steve shook his head, the movement barely noticeable. “I saw him, Tony. He was dead. He was dead and I could do nothing. I couldn’t save him.”

“Steve, he’s not dead. Natasha had to do it. None of it was your fault. You tried your best, he’s okay, that’s all that matters.”

Steve couldn’t shake away the thought of what Natasha said. How it was believable that he could have died doing what he was doing. If Natasha hadn’t done what she did…

“If you want to go visit him, we can.”

Steve hadn’t realized that he had been staring at the door the whole time he had been thinking back. He looked back at Tony and gave him no verbal answer. The look he gave him was enough.

Steve had seen a lot of things, both in the 20th and 21st century. Not much threw him or shook him anymore. But this? This had shaken him to his core. Seeing your son lying dead on a table in front of you… that doesn’t leave your mind easily.

When Steve and Tony arrived, Peter was still awake, him and Clint chatting about who knows what and Bruce sleeping in the chair next to his bed. When they saw Steve and Tony, the chatter slowly died off as Peter waved.

“See? He’s okay.” Tony squeezed Steve’s arm as they walked over to the bed, Clint starting to get up.

"My time up?"

"Yep. Get outta here, Barton. Time for his dads to annoy him."

Peter groaned and grabbed Clint's arm. "Please, don't make me be stuck with them," he whined.

Clint shrugged his arm off and pat his head. "Sorry, Pete. You're on your own. Hey, Bruce! Wake up, it's the lovebirds shift, apparently."

Bruce startled awake and looked at them all with tired eyes. "But I thought ours was until-"

"Nope, it's ours now." Tony plopped into Clint's chair and gave Bruce a look that said 'don't ask questions, just do it.' Bruce seemed to understand the look and stood up, yawning.

"Ah, right. Got it." He and Clint made their way out. "See you all in the morning. Good luck, Pete."

When they had both left, Steve finally relaxed a little. "How you feeling, bud?" He asked in his best definitely-didn't-have-nightmares-about-you-dying voice.

"I'm alright, I guess." Peter sat up, shrugging. "Feel better now."

Steve nodded, still uneasy. Apparently his uneasiness was visible because Peter soon asked, "Are you okay?"

Steve took a deep breath and looked down, unable to say.

Tony and Peter exchanged a look and Tony said, "You know what? I'm gonna go up to the kitchen. Get us some coffee. I'll be back soon." He rested a hand on Steve's shoulder before walking out of the med bay, leaving Steve and Peter alone.

"Pops, are you okay? Did I do something?" Peter furrowed his brow.

"Yes... Well, no." Steve sighed. "Just the sight of you... you know..."

"Dead?"

Steve nodded. "Yeah. I just can't shake it, you know?"

Peter looked at Steve, trying to read him. Eventually, he moved over in the bed, making room for Steve to lay down. Steve hesitated before standing up and taking Peter's offer. Peter laid his head down on Steve's chest, thinking about how he would lay like this with his Pops when he was younger. It was nice, especially after what they had just been through.

"See? I'm alive. You don't have to worry." After getting no response, Peter added, "I promise I’ll never die, Pops.”

“I’m holding you up to that,” Steve replied, already starting to drift off. “If you die, you are grounded.”

“Yeah, I know.”

When Tony got back with the coffee, Steve and Peter were already asleep, refusing to lose each other again.