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Soul leaned against the cold brick in one of the many death city alleyways. He exhaled in defeat as he pulled out a cigarette and flicked his lighter open.
“You told me you stopped.” Maka stood, a dark silhouette at the mouth of the alleyway, arms crossed and disapproving as always.
“Did” Soul continued and took a long drag without hesitation.
“Soul come on.” Maka rested opposite her weapon and glared at him.
“You go back inside; I’m just calming my nerves”
“For what? Blackstar turning 18 is stressful all of a sudden?”
“You know I don’t like big groups”
“Whatever Soul. Pop a mint after you finish that filthy thing, would you?” Maka pushed off the wall and headed back across the street where their friends gather drinking and eating. The white-haired boy leaned his head back against the wall as he blew a cloud of smoke. Maka sure was a stickler, one little cigarette wasn’t gonna kill him. She acted like they didn’t fight in life threatening battles every few months, couldn’t a man relax a little? Still, things had been rather quiet lately. With Kid working to take over his dad’s position, he had been extra determined to prove himself and precautionary rounds were taking place more often. Soul took one last long inhale before stubbing out the flame against the brick and flicking the remains. Shoving his hands in his pockets he made his way back to the road.
Through the well-lit windows of the restaurant he could see Blackstar chugging back another beer before happily wiping his face on his dress shirt sleeve. Tsubaki desperately tried to offer him a napkin instead but couldn’t help but smile at his joyous, sloppy, drunkenness. Blackstar had already had his fair share of underage drunken mishaps, but Soul couldn’t help but feel for Tsubaki. She now undoubtedly with many nights of babysitting her meister at pubs and clubs in the near future. Liz scolded Patty for something as Maka and Kid talked leisurely, looking up every so often to admire the boisterous birthday boys antics. Maka always looked so natural when surrounded by others. He knew she preferred her alone time with a good book, but Soul always noticed how much she could thrive in a group compared to himself. On a good day he didn’t mind spending hours with his friends, but even then he couldn’t help but look forward to turning in and only having to deal with Maka’s presence, who had become so merged with his own some days he hardly noticed it. But lately he had been more on edge and irritable. Probably just the changing season but it still bothered him.
A cold autumn wind blew and Soul brought his shoulders up to his ears with a chilled huff. The few beers in his stomach and nicotine in his system could only keep him so warm. He went to take another step into the road but stopped. Watching Maka he discreetly felt for her soul wavelength as not to bother her. Just as he guessed. No anxiety, no stress, just relaxation and enjoyment. Well good to know nothing was bothering her lately. Hell at this point everyone was a tipsy mess anyways, would it even matter if he snuck away? Soul peered down the road where he could easily catch the bus. He looked back to his friends, all enjoying their time carelessly. What felt like a small stone hardened in his stomach. God, what a gross feeling. Breathing in a few times to calm his nerves and to not spike any suspicion from Maka, Soul made his way to the bus stop. Clearly he wasn’t feeling up to a party and there was no point in making Maka or his other friends deal with it. It would just be plain uncool. He would go home, enjoy a few more beers, and pass out before Maka got back and could smack him upside the head. Just as the bus pulled up, he felt a small pull on his wavelength. Maka was looking for him. Whatever, she was drunk and occupied, she would have to let it go. He took his seat and rode back to their apartment in silence, trying to keep his mind off of how garbage he felt.
~
Maka tried her best to keep up her energy for Blackstar, it was his birthday and he deserved it, but she was pissed. She felt soul’s soul pull away and instantly knew he had left the party. How could he be so selfish. And now, with his inexplicable absence she had to cover for him and do an even better job to not let his random ditching ruin the mood. He could have at least come in and said goodbye. He could have at least told her he was leaving. Lately he had been nothing but a pain in the ass to deal with, and no matter how many times she tried to have patience, it just wasn’t her strong suit. Soul had a special way of getting on her nerves, but adding the constant unrest and irritability radiating off his soul in their apartment, it was enough make anyone fed up.
Still, until the party finished she would stay there for both of them and give Blackstar the birthday he deserved. She managed through another hour and a half of drinks before the alcohol was making it harder for her to hide her disappointment and anger. Luckily the restaurant was starting the close up shop and an opportunity for escape would be open soon.
“Lets go to the club! I’m serious!” Blackstar stood up in his excitement, for about the 30th time that night.
“Do you really want to? We can’t wait until another night…” Tsubaki looked up at him and to the group.
“Pleeeeease! The only way to celebrate a birthday as awesome as mine, is to go somewhere as exciting as I am!”
“I could be up for some dancing” Liz looked to Patty who vigorously nodded back in response.
“Lets do it!”
Kid grumbled into his drink. Maka saw her opportunity and shot.
“I think Kid and I are already getting pretty tired. Can we tag along another night?”
“Of course” Tsubaki, ever filled with grace smiled sympathetically at Maka as Blackstar audibly whined.
“Thanks, I’ll tag along next time, I promise” Maka started to stand as the group began raching for jackets and purses. Kid shot her a short, thankful, glance.
“Fine! I guess its Ladies Night!” Blackstar grinned from ear to ear and stuck himself directly between Liz and patty, pulling them into a hug. They laughed and shoved him off.
Tsuabki waved to Kid and Maka. “We will stay here and figure out where we are headed, you two have a good night!”
“Thanks! Happy Birthday Blackstar! Goodnight everybody!” Maka gave a cheery wave.
“Happy 18th Birthday Blackstar, see you all later.” Kid followed her out the door and they both began their walk to the bus stop.
“I bet they are gonna have some crazy stories tomorrow. Up until now we have only had to manage drunk Blackstar in private, he’s gonna be a handful in public.” Maka laughed at the thought. She could feel her cheeks warm with booze and was thankful to not feel the night cold.
“Why did Soul leave earlier?” Kid stopped at the small bench to wait for the bus and leaned against the protective glass of the weather hut. Maka wasn’t expecting it, but it was just like Kid to ask potentially dangerous questions without hesitation.
“I don’t know.” Maka couldn’t hide the anger in her voice, so instead decided to let it go with a heavy sigh as she sat down.
“Maybe he was just feeling sick” Kid tried to reason.
“Maybe. He’s just been so gloomy lately. And I get it, maybe hes just having a tough time with something simple, and it will pass, but normally he at least halfway communicates with me.”
“What exactly do you mean?” Kid glared slightly at Maka, who upon noticing it scooted quickly to the very middle of the bench, dividing it in half evenly. His face immediately relaxed.
“Sorry. I just mean that Soul isn’t super keen on sharing what he’s feeling, but he can’t really hide it well considering we are partners. So he usually at least acknowledges what he’s feeling and lets me know it’s nothing to worry about. I might not always get the details but when he’s in a mood I at least get the comfort of knowing that he’s dealing with it. But lately he’s been so reserved. It just makes me feel like he’s hiding something or is upset with me and won’t tell me why.” A bus rounded a corner, and Maka squinted to see the number.
“Have you asked him?” Kid always looked bored with conversations somehow.
“Well not directly, it’s just –“ The bus pulled up and lurched to a stop. “Nevermind. I’m sure it will be fine It’s just annoying. Sorry this is my bus, see you Kid.” Maka gathered her things and boarded with a quick wave.
“Good luck” he said simply as the doors closed behind her.
~
When Maka got home the lights were all off. Soul must have gone to bed she thought as she turned the lights on without hesitation. She set her stuff down on the kitchen counter and got a glass from the cupboard without worrying about noise. If her coming home happened to wake him up maybe he deserved, it. She turned on the faucet full blast and scared herself a bit with the sudden noise. After filling up her glass she leaned against the counter and took a good long drink. She probably wasn’t drunk enough to have a hangover the next morning, but she wasn’t going to risk it. Maybe she could watch a little tv and sober up before heading to bed. As she turned around to face the living room a figure sat up on the couch in the half light bleeding in from the kitchen. Maka jumped and let out a short scream before placing her hand on her heart to steady it and glaring at the shadowy figure.
“What the hell Soul!” the boy groggily wiped his eyes and pushed himself into an even more upright position. He has clearly been out cold moments ago.
“Uh.. sorry. Must have fell asleep on the couch. Had some beers…” his voice was tired and thick.
“Well you could have had beers with our friends instead of at home like a slob” Maka picked up her water and stood over the couch with a disappointed scowl.
“Can we not do this right –“ Souls eyes only started to adjust to the light.
“You were rude and left without a goodbye Soul. Blackstar is one of your best friends and you up and left his birthday. What is wrong with you?” She didn’t mean for it to sound so harsh, but after riling herself up on the bus ride home, and still processing her alcohol, it seemed she didn’t have total control over her own inflection right now.
“Geez lay off Maka I know. I’m going to bed.” Soul began to stand, kicking aside an empty beer can at his feet. Maka pushed her palm forcefully into his shoulder and sat him back on his butt, hard.
“What the fuck” Soul clearly had become intoxicated too, his words slightly slurred and his sharp teeth baring shamelessly.
“You embarrassed me tonight and you have been a dick lately, so you are gonna tell me why. Now.” The blonde sat herself defiantly on the coffee table across from him, setting her water down.
“I don’t know what you mean”
“Cut the bullshit Soul, you think I can’t feel you stinking up the apartment with stress and upset? Is this something I have to be worried about?”
“no.”
“Then why hadn’t you talked to me at least. Why haven’t you communicated at all. You have been pulling away for the last month and it’s starting to really piss me off.”
“Well then maybe you should work on your own anger management” Soul rolled his eyes and avoided her gaze.
“Oh my god.” She stood up and stared at him in disbelief. “Fine! You don’t want to talk about it. But it’s been a long damn time and if you can’t tell me why my presence is so insulting to you than you better get over it and soon.” She lingered, for just a moment before turning in a huff to leave, but her arm suddenly caught and tugged her back. She looked back to find Soul, his entire demeanor changed, clinging to her wrist weakly.
“Sorry” he breathed out, his head now down in shame. She hated herself for it, but she immediately softened. She picked his hand off her wrist and held it in her own as she sat back down on the table and sighed. He stayed silent and still and she rubbed her thumb over his own in a repetitive, meditative motion. Finally he looked up and met her eyes. “Why aren’t you upset?”
Maka shook her head in confusion. “I am Soul, it’s just I want you to talk to me more than I want to mad at yo-“
“No. I mean I am upset. I have been for a while, I think. I don’t know. But why aren’t you?”
“What do you mean?”
“Kid…” Soul looked down at his hand in hers and slipped it out gently.
“Death the Kid? Our friend? What about him?” Maka looked for any sign on his face as to what he meant.
“He’s taking over.” Soul relaxed back into the couch, exhausted.
“Oh… well yeah. He is. Is this about…”
“He needs a death scythe.” For the first time in what felt like months he looked at Maka dead in the eyes with complete honesty. Maka looked away this time as her shoulders sunk.
“I am…worried. But we don’t know what’s gonna happen yet. And your say matter’s just as much as anyone else’s. And I want you to do what’s best for you Soul.”
“I know, but you haven’t shown any sign of distress. Not even a little.” He sighed and ran a hand through his messy bedhead. “God this is so uncool.”
“Shut up, no it’s not you dork.” Maka managed a weak smile and joined her weapon on the couch. “I… I have been…I’m not happy about it. But I purposefully have kept it off my mind, Soul. If you knew the topic was distressing me, I just, I didn’t want it to sway your own decision about your future.” She turned to face him, tucking her legs up under her as she did so. “Soul, I have, to the best of my Meister ability, wielded you and grown your strength. You were always going to be a death scythe. I don’t want all our hard work go to waste, I want to see you in the best position possible-“
“It isn’t a waste Maka. It never would be, we are a good team and kick ass at taking out witches.”
“You know what I mean. Soul, I just want you to do what’s best for you.”
“And what about you.” Soul gently took the end of one of her pigtails between his finger and rolled over the hair. She felt the heat rise to her cheeks but pushed the feeling away.
“I will manage. What you think a badass like me can’t handle myself?” She managed a half grin. Soul let her hair drop.
“I mean who will you live with. Who will replace me.” She was stunned to silence for a few seconds by this.
“Soul…”
“Just… whatever. It’s late.” Soul pressed his palms into his knees to lift himself off the couch before Maka’s gentle touch landed on his shoulder, and then a soft feeling on his cheek. He looked at her half-surprised half concerned at the kiss. Maka was not the type to be physically affectionate very often with him, and the few times hadn’t been so blatant.
“Soul. We were always going to have to have this conversation someday. We have known that ever since you played the piano for me the very first time. I’m sorry I hid my feelings about the matter. I know you have your own choice to make, but I never meant to make you feel unwanted. I want you with me more than anything in the world. You are my best friend and no matter where you go in life I want you in mine. Even if it means supporting you from afar. I will be so proud of you as a death scythe, and you are gonna be amazing-“ At this point Maka could feel her face getting red and the tears welling up in her eyes. God, curse alcohol and late nights and hard conversations. “But I will also miss you. Please never doubt that again, it’s so mean…” tears began rolling down her cheeks fast than she could stop them. Soul quickly turned so that his whole lower half was on the couch, pulling her hunched over body into his chest, his legs on either side to give her full access to his embrace. She didn’t sob, he could feel her trying to keep it together after what must have been months of constantly suppressing her feelings on the matter to help him have a clear conscience. She breathed shakily and leaned into him fully. He rubbed his hands over her back in comfort and swallowed the lump in his own throat.
“I’m sorry Maka. I should have known better. You are so cool. God, you are so cool.” He laughed half-heartedly and buried his face into the top of her head. He couldn’t resist giving it a small peck and squeezing her closer. Eventually the pressure on his chest made his back give our and he slowly laid down on the couch, Maka stretching herself out and reaming on his chest, sprawled out on top of him. Soul listened to the sound of her breathing slow and even as he drew circles and spirals in her back with his fingers. After some time she crossed her arms and nestled her chin into them, looking directly into his eyes. Soul was suddenly flustered but managed to keep his cool. Maka had very stunning eyes and having them so close to his face made his body temperature rise dramatically. Her nose and cheeks were pink from crying and the cuteness was a little too powerful. He managed an awkward sharp toothed grin which made her close her eyes and giggle.
“We are kind of a mess” she decided out loud with a smirk.
“A cool mess” Soul added.
“A cool mess.” She agreed. Her face softened as she looked at him and she pulled up and back a bit. “I am really sorry Soul.” So serious again. Soul rolled his eyes and hooked her leg and grabbed her shoulder, suddenly in one fluid motion flipping her underneath him, landing on top kneeling over her, pinning her arms down to the couch near her head. She gasped in shock and went flush when he laughed at her. He grinned, enjoying teasing his meister again after nearly a month of being so bitter. Leaning down and breathing directly in her ear, she squirmed a bit but laughed.
“No, I’m sorry Maka.” She became still and listened as his voice became genuine. “I caused you a lot of trouble this month, and it was super lame of me.” He pulled away to look at her again, now raising his voice above a whisper for the room to hear. “I’ll apologize to our friends tomorrow. I’m sorry for what I put you through tonight, it was selfish.” Maka nodded and closed her eyes, grateful.
“Thank you, Soul. It means a lot.” She reached up now and ran her small fingers through his icy white hair, always happy with how naturally soft it’s texture was. A chill down ran his spine at this but he tried his best not to show it. “Don’t decide now. We will talk when it’s daylight. Let’s just agree to be on the same page from now on.” Her genuineness melted him a little.
“Okay.”
He let his elbows and knees give, and plopped onto her, pushing the air out of her in a solid “oof!”. “SOUUUULLLL” she whined and struggled against his weight while laughing. “You smell like beer ugh”
“So do you miss perfect” he grumbled into her neck, making her catch her breath. Her free hand instinctively buried itself in his hair.
“Soul, come on lets both drink some water and go to bed.” She couldn’t let him know how badly her heart was racing, how pathetic of her.
“Just… one more minute” sleepiness crept back into souls voice as he relaxed into Maka’s body, only mildly squishing her. He reached his hand lazily up and cupped the side of Maka’s face, pushing his face deeper into her neck on the opposite side. She inhaled sharply and held her breath, feeling his nose and lips rest gently against the soft skin.
“Would it be so weird to stay with you.” He mumbled into her neck, his lips brushing against her with each word making her fingers twitch.
“Soul… tomorrow…” she breathed out, mortified at how breathless she sounded.
“I know…” he grumbled, pressing his body against her’s harder.
“Soul you are crushing me to death here…” As much as she couldn’t say she hated the scenario, he was starting to collapse her small frame.
“Ughhhh fine” he sleepily pushed himself up again, straddling her, and took his sweet time to stretch and yawn. Maka found her hand reach up without thought and touch his chest, where she knew his scar was under his shirt. He looked down at her curiously. Without much thought he slid his shirt off over his hand, and pressed her hand against his scar.
“Soul! What –“
“I just want you to know it’s okay.” His head lulled to the side a bit, he was clearly tired. And maybe a bit delusional.
“I know Soul. I didn’t mean to –“
“Can you sleep in my bed tonight?” He now grabbed her hand and held in both of his own, pressing her fingers against his forehead.
“Soul… we are drunk”
“and?”
“Okay. Let me get changed though.” There were very few times Soul had asked her to join him. But she couldn’t deny him comfort, and when she asked the same of him he always joined her without complaint. Soul kissed her fingers soflty before letting go and getting off the couch. Maka pushed herself up and made her way to her room.
Gosh, she wasn’t that drunk, but he must have been. He liked to tease her but tonight was a lot. She reasoned that he had been feeling bad the last month and the conversation probably took some weight off his shoulders. Still, with every year they got older it became harder to deny that their more physical moments might not have been totally platonic. But now, more than ever he needed her as his friend, and she wouldn’t start any conversations to jeopardize that right now. After switching into her large tee shirt and pajama shorts she crossed the hall and found Soul in gym shorts drinking a glass of water.
“Hey” he gave a sheepish smile, set the water down, and fell backwards onto the bed.
“Scoot over dumbass” Maka rolled her eyes and turned off the lights. She blindly made her way to the bed and crawled in, pushing soul over a little to make room. “get under the covers it’s cold in here” Maka scolded him.
He kicked up the covers making a mess, leaving Maka shaking her head. He was such a pain. He managed somehow to get under the covers and immediately reached out for Maka. He found her waist and pulled her to himself, wrapping himself around her. Cuddling wasn’t a first for them, but it was only a third or fourth in the grand scheme of things. Only at his most vulnerable did he hold her so tightly. When they first had their big fight about his scar they ended the night in tears and closely wrapped around eachother. The first time Maka truly let lose about how her Papa’s actions made her fear for her own future and trust in men, Soul had gently held her back without question when she clung to him in her bedroom. And now tonight. It has been a rather happy night but Maka knew that the choice Soul would have to make was weighing on him. She held his arms against her stomach and curled to fit inside his form. He drunkenly groaned and then sighed.
“Goodnight Soul.” Maka closed her eyes and began to drift off. She barely felt the confident kiss planted at the top of her spine.
“Goodnight Maka.”