Chapter Text
Levi had built his heart up to be a practically impenetrable fortress. It had taken many, many years but he had built three layers of walls. His defensive walls were made of his harsh glares, perpetually grumpy looks, and rudeness. He rarely let people into his heart, but when he did it was after ages of them trying to get through his thick walls. It had taken Hanji and Erwin more than a month to even scratch the surface of him, and it took two years to see all of him. He had known Armin for three months and Armin had barely even broken through one layer of his defenses. But Eren, Eren had managed to worm through at least two layers in less than two months. Levi was terrified of what would happen if he let Eren get any closer to breaking his walls. This had only happened once before and Levi had refused to let it happen again. He couldn’t let it happen again
She was the most beautiful thing Levi had ever laid eyes on. Her name was Petra Ral.
Levi managed to pull himself together for long enough to devise a new strategy. He just had to isolate himself from Eren long enough for his feelings to dissipate, and then he would have to rebuild his defenses. It would be easy. Eren was already avoiding him, and Levi had no classes with him. The only real mutual friend they had was Armin, so Levi would just ask Armin not to bring Eren if they hung out. Levi realized that sounded very selfish. Armin and Eren were best friends. He would probably just have to avoid Armin too. He paced the room trying to decide how he could avoid both of them. He would see Armin in class every Tuesday and Thursday. It would be hard to avoid him in class.
He had first seen her in the halls in his senior year. She was just a junior. He had befriended her when he saw her in his AP Lit class. She had a beautiful smile, one that lit up her whole face. Once he saw it he was hooked. He soon realized he would do anything to make her smile. She was quickly accepted into his small friend group. The group consisted of him, Hanji, Erwin, Eld, Gunther, Auruo, and Petra. They were like family to him.
He had never had a real family. His mother had died soon after his tenth birthday; his dad had never been around. The closest thing he had had to siblings were his friends Isabel and Farlan. They had lived with him in the orphanage and were his partners in petty crimes. They had died when they tried stealing from the wrong people and got killed.
Levi decided to go for a jog to clear his mind. He was still shaken up from his unfortunate realization. He ran with no direction in mind. He passed red leafed and barren trees for blocks. He was following his feet mindlessly staring at the scenery he passed. He tried denying it but deep down he knew what he was doing; he was running from his problems once again.
He had fallen for Petra very hard and very fast. He had asked her out after a month of trying to deny his feelings, and within a few months of dating her he had realized he loved her. He was sure they would last. They were meant for each other. It was March 16th when he decided to tell her. When he let the words fall from his mouth, he felt his heart drop. She just stared at him, but then her sides of her mouth lifted and she smiled. God, he loved her smile. She said to him only four words, but Levi swore those words held magic. “I love you too,” she said and Levi swore he was happier than he had ever been in that moment.
Levi felt tears well up in his eyes. He didn’t stop running. He couldn’t stop running. He pushed his tears back down and forced his feet to keep going. He was running from everything. He was running from his past; he was running from Eren; he was running from his fears, but somehow his feet ended up bringing him to a place he had avoided for a long time.
Senior year ended before Levi could even blink. He, Hanji, and Erwin were all accepted to the same school, West Trost University. Gunther, Eld, and Auruo were going to some other schools in a whole other state, and Petra was still going to be in high school. They decided that their last night of school together was going to be special. Sure they would have a whole summer, but they wouldn’t be at the same school. They were going to party until the early hours of the morning. At first it was great. The party was loud and alive. The music sucked and so did the drinks but it didn’t matter. The group was together. That was all that mattered. After about an hour they were all completely wasted. They had no designated driver, but they didn’t care. They were together. That was all that mattered.
Levi stood in front of a seemingly innocent and average looking light pole and broke down in loud violent sobs. His body shook as tears streamed down his face. He didn’t want to be there. He didn’t want to remember. There was a reason he kept up his walls. It wasn’t solely for his protection. It was never for his protection. He needed to protect people from himself.
Levi really should have stayed sober. He had already known he didn’t react well with alcohol, but he had figured that he wouldn’t do anything too stupid if he was just hanging with his friends all night. He was very very wrong. After a few beers and some shots Levi was hammered. His surroundings were a blur of strobe lights and shitty party music.
He had gotten separated from his friends after they had decided to dance. For some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to care. His objective had changed. He had come to the party to have a fun last night with his best friends, but all he could think about was dancing. He just wanted to dance, which was ironic considering the fact that he normally hated dancing with a passion. Or maybe he didn’t, he couldn’t remember. Levi was having the time of his life grinding against random strangers.
He felt someone’s hands grab his waist, and he grinned. He pressed his ass against the stranger’s crotch and moved to the beat of whatever song was currently pounding through the speakers. He turned around and grinned at the man who smirked in return. Levi wrapped his arms around the man’s neck and rubbed against him seductively. Their bodies swayed to the beat that Levi could feel rattling in his bones. The man gently kissed the side of Levi’s chin before trailing his lips down Levi’s neck sucking and biting his skin. His lips found their way back up to Levi’s face, but before he could kiss Levi a strong force pulled him away.
“Man what the he-” A fist cut off his sentence and sent the man to the floor.
Levi decided to finish the sentence for him. “What the hell is your problem, Erwin?!”
“I should be asking you that question, Levi! Your girlfriend just ran out of here crying about you grinding and getting frisky with some college guy.”
Levi groaned suddenly sobering up. He had forgotten that he wasn’t single in his drunken haze. He had to make sure Petra was okay. He had to apologize.
Levi shoved his way through the crowd. He stepped out into the warm June air yelling Petra’s name and found her sitting on the porch swing sobbing. He sat next to her and buried his head in his hands. “Petra I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize what I was doing I didn’t mean for you to see.”
“You didn’t mean for me to see,” Petra laughed humorlessly, “So you wouldn’t have stopped if I hadn’t seen you.”
“Fuck, that’s not what I meant.”
“Then what do you fucking mean Levi!” Levi had never seen Petra get so angry. Her eyes were red from crying and her face was red and splotchy. “What the hell do you mean.” This time she didn’t sound angry, just defeated. His strong, beautiful Petra looked defeated.
“Petra I-”
“I think we should break up,” Petra cut him off with a sigh. Levi’s heart dropped straight out of his ass. He stared at her in disbelief. She gave another sigh, “It’s not just you and that guy. I’ve been thinking this for awhile. You’re going to college and we’re just going to end up drifting apart. I think it’s for the best if we just end it now.” Levi felt his heart snap in half physically, and then Petra delivered the finishing blow. “We can still be friends.”
Levi was just so fucking mad. He blew up on Petra. “You’re such a fucking selfish bitch! I can’t believe I ever loved you. I don’t want your shitty pity friendship. Just get out of my fucking life! I never want to see you again!”
Levi regretted saying that. He wished he could’ve gone back in time and taken it all back. He didn’t mean it he was just so hurt. He got so mad for such a stupid reason. He should’ve taken her offer of friendship. If he had she would still be alive, and so would Gunter, and Eld, and Auruo. If Levi hadn’t been such an ass they would probably still be friends. Because of his stupid mouth, they had left the party and wrapped their car around the stupid unassuming light pole he was currently standing at.
Petra had died thinking Levi had hated her, and as much as he wanted to he could never take back his words because she was fucking dead. He didn’t even remember the last thing he had said to the other three. Levi couldn’t stop shaking. The sky was getting dark and Levi felt panic take hold of him. He frantically pulled out his phone and dialed ten digit numbers he somehow knew by heart.
He couldn’t hold his sob back when he heard Eren’s voice pour out of his phone. “Hello?” Eren’s voice was filled with concern, “Levi? Are you okay?”
Levi’s voice shook, “Eren, I know you’re mad at me but can you come pick me up?”
“Where are you?”
“At the corner of Maple and Andrews Street in South Trost.” Levi heard a pause. He had a feeling Eren wanted to ask why he was all the way in South Trost, but thankfully he didn’t.
“Hang on. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes. Do you want me to stay on the phone?”
“Yes please,” Levi slumped down next to the light suddenly feeling his exhaustion and the frigid fall air.
Within thirteen minutes Eren’s car pulled up next to the light. He rushed over to Levi with panic clouding his features. “Are you okay? Can you stand? Do I need to call an ambulance?”
“I’m fine Eren,” Levi said standing up shakily. Eren picked him up gently to Levi’s surprise.
“You’re not fine Levi. You were sitting by a fucking street light looking like you’d seen a ghost,” Eren snapped. He looked down at Levi’s surprised expression and sighed, “I was worried about you, you idiot,” he said softly.
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Oh.” Levi stared at the profile of Eren’s face, his strong chin, his beautiful emerald eyes, his tanned, clear skin, his pink lips. Levi felt his heart skip a beat when Eren looked down at him. He suddenly came to the realization that Eren was very beautiful. He blushed at the thought. He had finally accepted it. Levi was falling for Eren Jaeger.