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Taeyoung was frustrated. No matter what he did, he couldn’t seem to meet their choreographer’s expectations. Taeyoung looked down at the ground immediately as their choreographer turned off their music for what felt like the millionth time, knowing that it was likely going to be another criticism aimed at him.
“Taeyoung-ah… what are you doing?” the choreographer asked, sighing. “You have to stand up straight - how many times have I told you that it doesn’t look right when you’re slouching like that?”
“Mianheyo…” Taeyoung replied, not looking up.
“You’re normally better than this… what’s going on?” the choreographer asked. Taeyoung was surprised that the man seemed to no longer be angry at him; with all of the yelling that had been aimed at him earlier in the day, Taeyoung certainly hadn’t expected the man to start questioning him so calmly.
“I don’t know, hyungnim,” Taeyoung replied, shaking his head. “I’m trying not to slouch. But every time I think I’m doing it right, it’s still wrong…”
The choreographer sighed, walking over to Taeyoung. The man gently forced Taeyoung’s shoulders straight, and Taeyoung couldn’t help making a face at how uncomfortable it was. Taeyoung felt as though he was being forced to lean sideways, just like he had every other time he’d tried to correct his posture in the past few days. “That hurts?” the man asked.
“It’s just uncomfortable…” Taeyoung admitted, not looking the man in the eyes. “It feels like I’m leaning to the left…”
There was a brief moment of silence, before the choreographer turned to Serim. “He’s grown recently?”
“Just a couple of centimeters…” the leader confirmed. “It seemed like he was going to grow more, but then it sort of stalled out…”
The choreographer sighed, nodding. “Right… let’s take ten minutes. Taeyoung-ah, Serim-ah, I need the two of you to come with me,” the man commented, motioning for Taeyoung and Serim to follow him out of their dance studio. Taeyoung couldn’t help feeling guilty, and wondering if this was going to be the end of his career as the group’s lead dancer.
“Hyungnim… is everything okay?” Serim asked, once the three of them were all out in the hallway and heading down towards their managers’s offices. The man put a hand gently on Taeyoung’s shoulder as they walked, squeezing it gently.
“I have some suspicions about what’s going on here,” the choreographer replied, without stopping. “Taeyoung-ah will need to see a doctor to know for sure, but it looks like his spine might not be growing as straight as it should be…”
Taeyoung stopped where he was, feeling more than a little sick to his stomach at the choreographer’s words. “What does that mean?” Taeyoung asked, turning to look at Serim. “That’s bad, right?”
“It’s not great, but it’s not the end of the world,” the choreographer replied, shaking his head. “If I’m right, it’s not bad… you need to see a doctor and get it checked out, but once we know what’s going on we can work around it.”
“It’s going to be fine, Tyongie… let’s just go talk to manager-nim,” Serim reassured.
Taeyong nodded slowly, letting the leader gently push him forward to follow their choreographer again. He took a deep breath as the choreographer knocked on the door to one manager’s office, getting the attention of the man sitting behind the desk. “We have a slight issue…” the choreographer began, gently pushing Taeyoung into the room. “It looks like something might be happening with Taeyong-ah’s spine… he isn’t standing up straight, and it’s uncomfortable for him when we try to correct it. I think his spine might be curving…”
The manager looked obviously concerned, getting up from his desk and moving around towards Taeyoung. “Taeyoung-ah… bend over and touch your toes for me, let me take a look,” the man commented. Taeyoung did as he was told, letting the manager pull him back up just a little before he ran a hand down Taeyoung’s spine. “Go ahead and stand up, Taeyoungie.”
“Is it bad?” Taeyoung asked softly. He could tell from the manager’s face that the choreographer’s suspicions were probably correct.
“It’s definitely noticeable,” their manager replied. “Does your back hurt at all? Any other problems?”
Taeyoung shook his head. “Not really…”
“You’ve been sore more than usual for the last few weeks…” Serim began, gently putting a hand back on Taeyoung’s back. “We sort of just wrote it off as being growing pains, so we weren’t really worried about it. Especially since we’ve been doing a lot of dancing lately…”
“Nothing else strange has been happening? No issues with your breathing or anything like that?” Taeyoung shook his head again at the manager’s questions. “Okay… that’s good news, at least. For now, go ahead back to rehearsals while I try and figure out a doctor’s appointment for you. If you start hurting, or if anything starts to feel off about how you’re doing I want you to take a break.”
Taeyoung nodded. “Yes, hyungnim.”
“We’ll keep an eye on him,” the choreographer replied. “You boys go back and get some water, we’ll start back up at 15 after.”
“Yes, choreographer-nim,” Serim replied, guiding Taeyoung out of the manager’s office and back down the hall towards their rehearsal room. “Are you okay, Tyongie?”
“What happens if they’re right, hyung?” Taeyoung asked, turning to look at the leader. “What if my spine really is crooked?”
“We’ll figure it out,” Serim reassured, pulling Taeyoung into a hug. While it was a little awkward, due to the height difference, Taeyoung found himself leaning into the older man’s embrace. “It’s not going to be the end of the world, okay? I’m sure the doctor will be able to do something for it.”
“Hyung? Is everything okay?” Taeyoung straightened up at the sound of Jungmo’s voice, reaching up to wipe away the tears that had started to accumulate in his eyes. “Yah… Tyongie, why are you crying?”
“They think his back might be crooked,” Serim explained softly, running a hand up and down Taeyoung’s spine. “Manager-hyung is going to get him a doctor’s appointment, so that they can check him out and figure out what to do next…”
“Aish… that can happen?” Jungmo asked, putting an arm around Taeyoung’s shoulders and pulling him into a side hug. “How does that even happen?”
“I don’t know… I’m sure the doctor will be able to tell us more once he’s seen Taeyoungie,” Serim replied. “Choreographer-nim said we’ll start back at 15 after.”
“Should he be dancing, if something is wrong with his back?” Jungmo asked.
“As long as he’s not hurting or anything, they want him to keep dancing… I’m sure if it was a problem, choreographer-nim would pull him,” Serim replied. “They’re taking it seriously… if this was something that serious, he would be on his way to the hospital right now instead of coming back to rehearsal.”
***
Taeyoung took a deep breath as Serim put a hand on his knee, trying to get him to stop bouncing his leg as they waited for the doctor to come back in and talk to them. He knew that it wasn’t going to be good news; Taeyoung had seen his x-rays already, and there was an obvious curve in his spine starting at his shoulder blades. At this point it was just a matter of finding out how bad the curve was and what the doctor would want to do next.
“Alright, Taeyoung-ssi… I’m assuming that you saw the x-rays already?” Dr. Jeong asked, as the man came back into the room.
“Yes, sir,” Taeyoung replied. “Is it bad?”
“It’s not ideal, but I’ve seen much worse,” the doctor replied, moving to sit at the computer in the room and log in to pull up Taeyoung’s information. Taeyoung didn’t like seeing the x-rays again, but he knew that it was important. “We’re definitely looking at a case of scoliosis… it’s an S-curve starting in the upper thoracic spine, here in the middle.” The doctor pointed at the area on the x-ray as he spoke, indicating the noticeable curvature there.
“How serious is it?” Serim asked.
“It probably looks worse to you than it actually is, to be honest,” the doctor replied. “This is a 25 degree curve - it is significant, but it’s well below the threshold for needing surgery. And the lower curve is nineteen degrees, which isn’t really a major concern, either. Given Taeyoung-ssi’s age, it is highly unlikely that we’ll see any significant progression of the curves in the future. I do want to get an MRI of his spine just to be safe, because there are some potentially serious issues that can cause the spine to curve, but I highly doubt that we’re dealing with anything like that.”
Taeyoung looked up at the man’s words, feeling a little sick to his stomach at the idea that there might be something else wrong with him. “What kind of issues?” Taeyoung asked.
“Tyongie… breathe,” Serim reminded, squeezing his knee gently in an attempt at calming him down before Taeyoung could work himself up into a panic attack.
“Most cases of scoliosis are idiopathic - there’s no apparent cause, and they appear spontaneously during puberty. And most of the cases that are not idiopathic are caused by conditions that would have been diagnosed when you were an infant. But in very rare cases, it can be the result of an injury or illness. Those are the type of things we are looking to rule out - tumors, a tethered spinal cord, things of that nature that may not appear on a standard x-ray,” the doctor explained.
“So… it’s just to be safe?” Taeyoung asked.
“Exactly,” the doctor replied. “We want to rule things out, because some of those rare causes can be extremely dangerous if they are not treated properly. But the chances of this being caused by anything serious is very slim.”
“What about working? We’re preparing for a comeback…” Serim began.
“The only concern with his continuing to work would be the pain he reported,” Dr. Jeong replied, before turning to Taeyoung again. “If your back is hurting you should take breaks and rest, but it shouldn’t be debilitating or constant pain. If it does get severe, that would be something we need to investigate and treat.”
Taeyoung nodded, breathing a sigh of relief. “So as long as I’m not hurting, it’s okay?”
“It’s fine. Exercise is good for you, and keeping your muscles strong will help prevent problems in the future,” Dr. Jeong replied. “Unless we find something concerning in the MRI, this isn’t going to cause major changes in your life. A few more doctor’s appointments and x-rays.”
“Thank you, Dr. Jeong,” Serim commented, squeezing Taeyoung’s shoulder.
“Do you have any other questions today?” the doctor asked.
“The MRI… when can we get that done?” Serim asked. “We’d obviously like to get this handled as quickly as possible.”
“I’m going to put in the order right now. The radiology department at the hospital will have to schedule the appointment because we don’t do that in the office, but it shouldn’t take more than a few days at most,” the doctor replied. “You don’t need to do anything special to prepare for the test… you don’t have to be sedated, so you can eat and drink normally beforehand.”
“When would we hear back about the results?” Taeyoung asked.
“Within two weeks after the MRI - if there’s something concerning, we will call you about setting up an appointment. If everything is fine, then we won’t need to see you back here for three months,” Dr. Jeong replied.
Taeyoung nodded. “And if things are okay in three months?”
“Then we just keep watching and waiting,” the doctor replied. “If you have any concerns, you can always call and ask about coming in sooner… especially if you start to notice an increase in your pain, or any strange neurological symptoms. But barring anything strange on the MRI, I’m not overly concerned by anything that I’m seeing here. It is a bit odd for a patient to not be diagnosed until seventeen, but given these curve measurements it’s not all that hard to see how this could happen.”
***
“How did it go?” Woobin asked, as soon as Taeyoung and Serim walked into the dorm, with their manager close behind. “Is everything okay?”
“It’s fine,” Taeyoung replied, taking off his shoes and starting to head down the hall towards the room he shared with Serim and Hyeongjun.
“He has scoliosis,” Serim added. “The doctor wants an MRI, just to make sure that there isn’t anything serious going on. But they’re probably just going to keep an eye on it, because he’s almost done growing.”
“Okay… then that’s good, right?” Woobin asked, putting an arm around Taeyoung’s shoulders and trying to pull him towards the couch. “It sounds like it’s not that big of a deal…”
“It could be a lot worse…” Serim confirmed.
Taeyoung let Woobin pull him to sit down in the elder’s lap, not fighting it. Not that Taeyoung minded; he wasn’t going to complain about being cuddled by the older man for a few minutes when he should have been getting changed into his school uniform to try and make it to his afternoon classes. “Are you really okay?” Woobin asked, when Taeyoung didn’t say anything or try to fight him.
“I’m just kind of tired…” Taeyoung admitted, letting his head rest against the older’s shoulder. “It’s… a lot.”
“I’m sure,” Woobin replied, stroking a hand through Taeyoung’s hair. “Are you hungry?” Taeyoung shook his head, closing his eyes.
“Taeyoung-ah…” their manager began.
“Hyung… can we cut him some slack today?” Taeyoung heard, despite the fact that Serim was clearly trying to keep his voice down. “It’s a lot…”
“I’m supposed to make sure that he goes to school…” the manager began.
“It’s just one day - we’ll make him get up and go tomorrow, but I think he’s overwhelmed right now…” Serim explained. “I think he just needs some time to process what the doctor said. And he still has to go have the MRI tonight…”
Taeyoung sighed, sitting up. “I’m going to go lay down…” he commented softly. Taeyoung really wasn’t looking forward to the MRI appointment that evening; the hospital had called before they had even gotten halfway home from the doctor’s office, and Serim and their manager had accepted the first appointment time they were offered - seven-thirty that evening - because they had wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible. And while Taeyoung was thankful that it would be over soon, he wasn’t all that comfortable with the fact that he didn’t know what to expect; he’d never had an MRI before, and the idea of not knowing what to expect was terrifying.
Taeyoung had made it up into his bed and covered himself with his blanket so that he could research in peace before anyone bothered to follow him into the room he shared with Serim and Hyeongjun. Taeyoung was surprised when Allen stuck his head under the blanket. “You okay, Tyongie?” the older man asked.
“I’m scared…” Taeyoung began, shaking his head slowly as he put his phone down on the bed. “They’re making me have an MRI…”
“They’re not bad… it doesn’t hurt, and as long as you aren’t claustrophobic it’s really not a big deal,” Allen replied, shaking his head. “You just lay on the machine like it’s a bed, and it slides into the tube. It’s kind of loud, but they’ll give you ear plugs to protect your ears.”
“You’ve had one before?” Taeyoung asked.
“Yeah… I was in a car accident when I was ten. When they did all of the x-rays in the emergency room, I had a skull fracture and they needed to make sure there wasn’t any bleeding on my brain,” Allen replied. “The MRI wasn’t a big deal, honestly. You just have to be as still as possible, so that they get clear images. Yours will probably take longer than mine did, but you also have the benefit of being older and not having a horrific headache when you go into the machine.”
Taeyoung nodded slowly. “But that’s it? There’s nothing else to worry about?”
“Not unless you’ve got some metal somewhere in your body that we don’t know about…” Allen replied. “No metal fillings or anything?”
“No…” Taeyoung replied, shaking his head.
“Then you have nothing to worry about. Really,” Allen replied. “It’s just going to be kind of boring, and you’ll be sick of laying still when you’re done. But it’s not a big deal.”
Taeyoung nodded, smiling. “Thanks, hyung.”
“Come on… let’s go get some lunch.”