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Donghyuck blinked rapidly, trying his best to keep his eyes open despite the fact that he wanted nothing more than to just lay down and fall asleep where he was standing. Unfortunately, that wasn’t an option at the moment. Despite the fact that they didn’t have any performances that day, NCT’s managers had insisted that they all needed to spend some time in the dance studio refreshing themselves on the choreography for “Punch,” because the previous day’s performance hadn’t gone all that well. They had all been woken up early that morning to come to the company building for rehearsals, despite the fact that none of them had gone to bed until well after midnight the previous evening due to various activities the company had scheduled for them.
Donghyuck knew that the extra dance rehearsals were mostly his fault; after nine and a half weeks of promoting almost non-stop, on top of all of his other commitments, Donghyuck was exhausted. He hadn’t managed to sleep for more than three or four hours a night in over two months, if he got to sleep at all, and it was starting to affect his ability to keep up with everything. Donghyuck knew that his dancing the past few days hadn’t been up to par, and he had been trying to fix it by running the dance whenever he had the chance. But things only seemed to be getting worse, rather than better, and Donghyuck knew that it had to be the lack of sleep getting to him. Unfortunately, the extra rehearsals that their managers had called for meant that Donghyuck wasn’t going to be able to get any extra rest that day before he had to get started on his schoolwork so that he wouldn’t fall behind in his online university courses.
Frankly, it was too much; Donghyuck knew that he wasn’t going to be able to keep up with everything without sleeping indefinitely, and that he was setting himself up to potentially get really sick in the near future. But it was his job. Donghyuck knew that he had to keep going, because that was what everyone expected of him and he couldn’t let down their fans. It was only two or three more weeks; he could make it, and then he would get a little time to recover before the next round of promotions began.
Donghyuck groaned as he felt someone pressing their knuckles into the bone in the center of his chest, confused as to why everything was suddenly so dark. Taeyong had been talking them through the sections of the song that they needed to work on, per their managers, and Donghyuck had been doing his best to pay attention despite how tired he was. But he couldn’t figure out what had happened, or when his head had started hurting. Donghyuck heard what sounded like a bell ringing somewhere far away in the building, although he couldn’t place the sound. Was it a fire alarm?
“… Hyuck!” The sound of one of his hyungs yelling his name got Donghyuck’s attention, although he was too tired to try and find the source of the voice. The whole world was too dark; clearly the power had gone out, although that didn’t really explain why the emergency lights weren’t on. “C’mon, Hyuck… open your eyes, aegi…”
Oh.
Donghyuck forced his eyes open slowly, wincing at just how bright the lights were in the rehearsal room; clearly the power hadn’t gone out, Donghyuck had just closed his eyes at some point. Everything was a little blurred, although Donghyuck felt fairly certain that it was just because he’d closed his eyes for a little too long and he needed to give his contacts a chance to get back into the correct place in his eyes. He could see several of his hyungs surrounding him, although he wasn’t quite sure who had been talking to him.
“Huh?” Donghyuck asked, confused.
“Hey… hey, Hyuck, look at me,” Taeil said, pulling Donghyuck’s attention. “Can you tell me where you are?”
“Studio…” Donghyuck replied, too tired to try and form coherent sentences at that moment.
“Good… what day is it?” Taeil asked, as Donghyuck felt someone taking one of his hands and pressing their fingers into his wrist to check his pulse.
“What…?” Donghyuck shook his head slowly, letting his eyes close again. He was too tired to deal with whatever reason Taeil was asking him such weird questions; all Donghyuck wanted was to go to sleep.
“Hey… you can’t fall asleep on us, aegi,” Taeil commented, as someone pressed their knuckles into Donghyuck’s chest again.
“Stop…” Donghyuck whined, reaching up with his free hand to try and push away whoever was trying to keep him awake.
“Hyuckie, you passed out and you might have hit your head… you can’t go to sleep until we’re sure that you’re okay,” Taeyong’s voice commented, as Donghyuck’s free hand was pulled away and held down by his side.
“Open your eyes again, aegi,” Taeil commented, as the knuckles pressed into Donghyuck’s chest again. He groaned, forcing his eyes open again. “Okay, what day is it?”
It took far longer than it probably should have for Donghyuck to search for the answer, wracking his brain to try and remember which day of the week they didn’t have to go to one of the weekly music shows. “Monday?”
“Are you sure?” Taeil asked.
“I don’t know…” Donghyuck whined, shaking his head slowly, trying to fight back the tears that were starting to fill his eyes.
“He’s been promoting non-stop for almost ten weeks… is anyone surprised that he’s lost track of the days?” Yuta asked, from somewhere near Donghyuck’s feet.
“Right… okay, Hyuckie, how many fingers am I holding up?” Taeil asked, letting go of Donghyuck’s wrist and moving his hand so that Donghyuck could see it.
“Three,” Donghyuck replied, taking a deep breath. “I just need to take a nap, hyung… then I can rehearse…”
“No way, Hyuckie… not with a possible head injury,” Taeyong replied. “You’re getting checked out by the paramedics first, and they’re going to make that decision for us.”
“I’m tired, not sick…” Donghyuck protested.
“You passed out,” Taeil reminded, taking his hand and squeezing it gently. “We need to make sure there isn’t anything seriously wrong with you.”
There was a commotion somewhere nearby that Donghyuck couldn’t quite understand, and a moment later one of the group’s managers was kneeling next to Taeil. “What happened?”
“We were going over what needed to be cleaned, and then suddenly Hyuck-ah was on the floor,” Taeyong explained. “We aren’t sure if he hit his head or not… he keeps trying to fall asleep on us…”
“Okay… that’s not good…” their manager commented softly. “Donghyuck-ah, do you know what happened?”
“I guess I passed out…” Donghyuck began, still a little confused about what had happened, and his headache was getting worse. “My head really hurts, hyung…”
“Okay… have you guys tried to sit him up yet?” the manager asked, looking at Taeil.
“Not yet… I was still checking to see if he was disoriented,” Taeil replied. “He doesn’t know what day it is, but he’s been working so hard lately…”
“Okay… Donghyuck-ah, let’s try and sit you up…” their manager began.
“He was out for a while, hyung… are you sure that it’s a good idea to move him?” Taeyong asked softly. Donghyuck could hear the concern in the older man’s voice, even as Taeyong moved to help him sit up at the manager’s suggestion.
“You said that he just passed out… if we can avoid calling an ambulance, we can hopefully get him to the hospital to get checked out and back to the dorms without attracting too much attention,” their manager commented. “He’s under enough stress as it is… I’d rather not add to that…”
Donghyuck winced as Taeyong and Taeil helped him sit up slowly, taking a deep breath as his head began to spin. “Hyung…” he whimpered softly.
“Lean on me, aegi,” Taeyong commented, moving behind Donghyuck and gently guiding him to lean against the leader’s chest. “Tell me what’s going on…”
“Dizzy…” Donghyuck replied.
“Maybe we should lay him back down, hyung… he looks so pale…” Taeil began.
“Okay… I’m going to call an ambulance. You guys keep him awake.”
***
Donghyuck curled into the side of one of his hyungs, not particularly caring who had come to join him in his bed. After spending most of the day at the hospital being evaluated, and eventually being diagnosed with exhaustion and a mild concussion, Donghyuck wanted nothing more than to sleep for as long as he would be allowed. While he wasn’t thrilled with the fact that he would have to be woken up every few hours, Donghyuck was just thankful that he hadn’t been kept at the hospital overnight as their manager had suspected once he had been officially diagnosed.
“It’s okay, aegi,” Taeil commented softly, rubbing small circles on Donghyuck’s back to try and gently put him back to sleep. “You can go back to sleep… I’m right here.”
“What’s going on?” Donghyuck asked softly, not opening his eyes.
“Manager-hyung said that the company is working on a statement,” Taeil explained, gently stroking Donghyuck’s hair. “You’re definitely done with promotions… the debate right now is if they’re going to have us promote as eight, or if they’re just going to stop promotions for all of us.”
“No…” Donghyuck began, sitting up faster than he probably should have under the circumstances. The sudden movement made his head throb, and Donghyuck felt sure that he was going to end up being sick. Thankfully, Taeil was quick to grab the trash can their manager had placed next to Donghyuck’s bed just in case, holding it under his chin until they were sure that Donghyuck wasn’t going to puke.
“You okay?” Taeil asked, when Donghyuck pushed the can away after a moment without actually getting sick.
“Moved too fast…” Donghyuck replied, taking a deep breath. “They can’t cancel promotions, hyung… the fans…”
“Yah… you don’t worry about that, Hyuckie,” Taeil replied, as he adjusted their positions so that Donghyuck was laying back against his chest. “Your only concern right now is getting enough rest to heal… you have a head injury.”
Donghyuck sighed, closing his eyes and resting against Taeil’s chest. “I don’t like this, hyung…” Donghyuck began. “The fans will be upset…”
Taeil sighed. “They aren’t even able to come see us right now, Hyuckie… I’m sure that they’re going to be more concerned with us making sure that you’re okay, than the fact that we might end promotions early,” the elder reassured, stroking a hand through his hair. “Close your eyes and try to sleep, okay? We have some time before dinner.”
“My head hurts…” Donghyuck began softly.
“Do you need something for your headache? I know you came home with a prescription…” Taeil replied, stroking a hand through Donghyuck’s hair. “I could get someone else to bring your meds and something for you to eat…”
“Not hungry…” Donghyuck replied.
“Okay, but you can’t have your prescription without something in your stomach…” Taeil reasoned, gently scratching the back of Donghyuck’s neck.
Donghyuck groaned, forcing himself to sit up. “This is just mean, hyung…” he muttered.
“I’m just doing my job as your hyung,” Taeil replied, moving to help Donghyuck stand up. “Even if it’s just rice, you need something in your stomach. The pain meds they gave you are rough.”
Donghyuck nodded slowly, letting his eldest hyung guide him out to sit on the couch in their dorm’s main room. “Hey… how are you feeling, Hyuckie?” Dongyoung asked, motioning for Donghyuck to come sit down on the couch with him.
“Okay,” Donghyuck replied, sitting down next to the older man and letting his head rest on his hyung’s shoulder.
“I’m going to get him something to eat, so that we can give him his pain meds,” Taeil commented.
“You head’s hurting?” Dongyoung asked, playing with Donghyuck’s hair gently.
“A little,” Donghyuck admitted, closing his eyes. “I want to perform tomorrow…”
“Yeah, no… that’s not going to happen,” Dongyoung commented. “You have a concussion, and you passed out due to exhaustion less than twelve hours ago. There is absolutely no way the company is letting you leave the dorm for the foreseeable future, unless you need to go back to the doctor. You need rest, and you need time to heal.”
“So I get no say…” Donghyuck began.
“Hyuckie… if you tried to keep promoting right now you could do some serious damage to yourself…” Taeil began, as he came back with a bowl of rice and a spoon for Donghyuck. “You should eat that… and then we need to talk about what happened today.”
Donghyuck felt a bit sick at the older man’s words, knowing that he was going to be in trouble for not telling anyone just how bad things had gotten before he’d collapsed earlier that day. “Do we have to talk about it?” Donghyuck asked softly, as he began to slowly fill the spoon with a bit of rice.
“Yeah, we have to talk about it,” Dongyoung replied. “We can wait until you’ve eaten and gotten your pain meds, but we need to have a serious talk about what happened today so that it doesn’t happen again.
Donghyuck nodded slowly, starting to eat the rice that Taeil had brought him. There was no way that his hyungs were going to back down; if he was lucky, they would limit who was involved so that he wouldn’t be overwhelmed by eight older members breathing down his neck about the situation.
It didn’t take long for the rice to be gone, at which point Taeil gave Donghyuck the promised painkiller for his headache. “Drink all of your water, too… I’m going to clean this up and get Taeyong-ah,” the eldest commented, once Donghyuck had swallowed the pill. Donghyuck nodded, doing as he was told while Dongyoung gently played with his hair.
“You know that we’re only getting involved because we’re worried about you, right, aegi?” Dongyoung asked, as they waited for the others to join them.
“I know, hyung,” Donghyuck replied.
Donghyuck looked down at his lap as he realized that Johnny was joining them as well; he was already not looking forward to the conversation, but to have all three of the eldest members and Dongyoung there to talk about the mistakes that Donghyuck had made in the past few weeks was a bit overwhelming.
“Donghyuck-ah… I want to hear your side of what happened today,” Taeyong commented softly, once everyone was seated in various places around the room. While Donghyuck couldn’t hear any indication of anger in the leader’s voice, in his head all Donghyuck could think was the fact that his hyungs were likely hiding their true feelings about the situation. He knew that they had to be angry with him for not being honest about how he was doing.
“I haven’t been able to get much sleep lately…” Donghyuck began. “Between all of the promotions and school, I’ve just had too much to do, and I haven’t been able to sleep and get it all done. I thought I would be okay if I could just make it until today, because it was supposed to be a day off. But then we had rehearsal, and I guess it was just too much…”
Dongyoung gently squeezed Donghyuck’s shoulders, clearly trying to comfort him. “You’ve got too much on your plate…” the elder commented. Donghyuck nodded, still not looking at his hyungs.
“Why didn’t you tell us that you were so overwhelmed?” Johnny asked.
“I didn’t think it would make a difference,” Donghyuck replied, shaking his head. “We’re Idols… we’re supposed to always be professional, and we’re supposed to be able to handle it. I didn’t want anyone to think that I was just complaining or being lazy if I asked to miss rehearsal today. And I knew that today’s rehearsal was my fault, anyway…”
“No… we all needed to work on the dance more, not just you. And literally no one should be expected to do go non-stop like that,” Taeil replied, shaking his head. “It was ridiculous enough for the company to expect you to promote three songs back to back, without even a proper day off in between. That would be hard on anyone. But to be working on your degree at the same time, and not being able to get enough sleep… I’m amazed you didn’t crash out on us sooner…”
Donghyuck took a deep breath, closing his eyes. “Mianhamnida…”
“Hey… we aren’t angry with you,” Dongyoung reassured. “We’re worried about you… about the fact that you were so exhausted that you passed out, and the fact that you didn’t feel like you could tell us.”
“But… I’ve screwed up so much…” Donghyuck began.
“No, you haven’t,” Johnny replied. “Yes, you pushed yourself too far and got hurt because of it. But you aren’t the only person who had a part in that - the company scheduled this whole series of comebacks too close together, and we weren’t paying enough attention even though we knew that you were under more stress than anyone else. Everyone has some blame in this situation…”
“Still, you have to tell us when things get to be too much, Hyuckie,” Taeyong commented, reaching out to put a hand on Donghyuck’s knee. “You’re our friend, and you’re an important part of our team. We hate to see you like this…”
Donghyuck nodded slowly. “I promise, hyung… I’ll do better about telling you guys when things get to be too much,” he replied.
Donghyuck couldn’t help smiling as Dongyoung squeezed him just a little bit tighter. “We should let you go lay back down… you could definitely use more rest,” Dongyoung commented softly, gently massaging the back of Donghyuck’s neck.
“Do you need more to eat first, Hyuckie?” Taeyong asked.
Donghyuck shook his head. “I’m really not hungry, hyung,” Donghyuck replied.
“Okay… let’s get you back in bed so that you can rest.”