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English
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Published:
2020-05-13
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1,110
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1/1
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to hold the future

Summary:

After Annabeth has one of her ovaries removed in an emergency surgery, she worries about how that will affect her future with Percy.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

It’s been about three months since Annabeth had one of her ovaries removed due to an ovarian cyst. She’s barely twenty-three and very much in love with Percy, but not ready to be a mother, but still the thought of not being able to have kids terrifies her. The doctors all assured her that ovarian cysts are common and most go away on their own, and her other ovary is healthy so she should still be able to become pregnant, but she can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong with her. 

Percy, of course, has been overwhelmingly supportive. He was by her side the entire time she was in the hospital. He tried to distract her from the pain of recovery and held her as she cried day after day. She couldn’t have asked for a better partner to help her through it. 

She’s replaying all of that in her mind as she’s sitting on a blanket in Central Park with Percy on a Saturday afternoon. He’s dozing off beside her and she people-watches absentmindedly. Her sunglasses are huge and hiding half her face, so she’s shameless with her staring. 

First, a couple pushing a double stroller catches her eye. Then, a father wearing a baby wrap while he walks a dog. A mother biking with one of those carriers attached to the back passes her on the path in front of Annabeth and sitting along the way on a bench is a pregnant woman reading next to a man who’s scrolling on his phone. 

Everywhere she looks she sees children. Parents and children. Mothers and their children. Her body hums with an intense emotion and at first she can’t place it. 

The man is holding his phone in one hand and his other hand rests gently on the woman’s belly. In her mind's eye, she can see Percy doing the same thing. 

Jealousy. She wants what that woman has. And she wants Percy to have what that man has. For years, she’s known that Percy would be an incredible father, and she knows how much Percy wants that. In their darkest hours, they clung to the idea of having kids together, to having a family of their own. And she might not be able to give that to him. 

Her mind reels with the questions that have been swirling around for the past three months. Should she freeze her eggs while she still can? What if she doesn’t and something else happens and she becomes infertile? What would Percy do then? Would he leave her for someone who could give him the family that he wants?

She feels inferior. All these other women could do something that she might not be able to. The thought sears into her mind and a wave of heat washes over her. 

Almost as if he’s reading her mind, Percy stirs beside her. He sits up with a yawn and she quickly tries to wipe the tears off her cheeks. At least her sunglasses conceal her eyes. 

He knows her better than that, though. He doesn’t have to literally see the tears coming out of her eyes to know she’s upset. 

His hand rubs up and down her back, but he doesn’t say anything, giving her time to collect herself. 

“What are you going to do if I can’t have kids?” she asks quietly. It’s a conversation that’s a long time coming. 

“The same thing I’d do if you can: be with you.”

She shifts her position to look at him. His beautiful eyes are so earnest. 

“Percy,” she says. “Really think about it.”

“I have,” he says firmly. “You don’t have to physically give birth to be a mom. We have so many options.”

He’s right. They can foster, adopt, or get a surrogate. Or maybe she will just get pregnant. 

His hand stills on her back. “You know, I wish I could do this for you,” he continues. “I hate how much of it falls just on you.”

“Well, no matter what, I can’t really do this on my own ,” she says, giving him a nudge. “I’m just scared. Maybe we should try now.”

His eyes widen. “You want to try to get pregnant now?”

“Or soon,” she says. “Before anything else happens.”

“I don’t want us to rush into anything because we feel like we’re on a timer.” 

He’s right again. Even though Annabeth would like to think that she’s governed by logic and reason, she has to admit that her emotions have been driving the car with this one. She’s so thankful that Percy is so thoughtful. It’s just one more reason he’ll make a great dad. 

She takes off her sunglasses, so he can see her face. “I love you.”

“I love you.” His gaze is so steady and Annabeth fully understands how Percy’s strength manifests in so many different ways. “We’ll try when we’re ready. And even though I know it’s old fashioned, I’d like to marry you first.” 

She tackles him. Her arms wrap around his neck and she knocks him onto his back. He holds onto her, but not as tightly as she wants him to. He’d been so gentle with her body since her surgery. 

He lets out a breath and she’s sure his face is surprised, but she can’t see it because she’s burying her face into his neck. She kisses him there before she pulls back and puts her hands down on either side of his head. 

“You want to marry me?” she asks.

“We just had a whole conversation about having kids and you’re surprised I want to marry you?” he laughs. “Annabeth, I’d marry you today.”

“The clerk’s office is closed,” she responds. “It’s Saturday.”

“Is that you saying that you want to marry me?” he asks. He tucks one of her curls behind her ear.

They’d talked about getting married before, but it had always felt like some far off concept, almost like how having kids was this distant thing until it didn’t seem so inevitable. 

But anytime she pictures her future, being married to Percy is a given. They’ve had such a deep and intense connection for so long, making their relationship legally binding seems almost inconsequential. There’s all the mortal stuff like taxes and property rights, but none of that compares to the way that she knows their souls are tied together. 

“Yes.” For her, there is no other answer but yes, not with him. 

“I wasn’t planning on proposing like this,” he says, bashfully. “I don’t have a ring.” 

“You know what’s open on Saturdays?” she asks, smiling. 

He follows her train of thought. “Jewelry stores.”

Notes:

this came out of three prompts I received on tumblr 1) jealous annabeth w/ an inferiority complex, 2) a marriage proposal, and 3) "I can't do this on my own"
Hope you enjoyed! I really don't stick with angst for long :)
-Torie (percyheartsannabeth)