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Kakashi lingered outside the door to his apartment. With Iruka standing this close, he didn't want to go inside just yet.
Tonight Iruka had walked him home from their latest date and now he was looking at Kakashi with a smile that dared him to offer an invitation inside. He leaned in close enough Kakashi could feel the warmth of his breath through his mask, but they didn't kiss.
Kakashi's heart pounded in his chest and he had to fight against the urge to lean forward that last little bit. His hands rested lightly on Iruka's waist, not trusting himself to hold on tight. How many times had he thought about pulling Iruka inside, taking him to bed?
They'd been dancing around this for weeks, both too stubborn to be the first to give in. They teased each other to the breaking point, pushed a little more each time, escalated things with enticing touches, inviting glances, provocative turns of phrase.
Kakashi couldn't remember the last time he'd been this wound up, this ready, this hungry for someone. He breathed in the tension, the waiting made him ache. He wanted this, the First only knew how much he wanted it.
The potential of what he could have with Iruka lay just beneath his skin; a constant, intoxicating buzz, like chakra waiting to be molded, a jutsu ready to form.
But for all he wanted it, a tinge of doubt still whispered in his mind, just strong enough to hold him back.
So he wouldn't ask Iruka inside, not tonight. He'd let this delicious tension build another few days, another few weeks if he could manage.
Iruka brushed the ghost of a kiss against the corner of his mask-covered mouth. Something so chaste shouldn't be hotter than anything else he'd done with previous partners, but it was.
"Next weekend," Iruka said, quiet and low, his thumbs sliding against the bare skin on the inside of Kakashi's forearms before his fingers skated upwards to his shoulders.
Those two words were less of a promise for another date and more of a challenge, like he knew exactly how close Kakashi was to giving in, that he wasn't going to be able to hold out much longer. Kakashi couldn't even refute it.
After Iruka left, Kakashi went inside, closing the door behind him. He could still feel the ghost of Iruka's fingers on his skin, the shiver of his touch against his upper arms. He brought his hand up to rub against the tattoo that marked his skin there.
There was an easy chakra trick that covered it, that kept it concealed when it shouldn't be seen. Kakashi knew more than one ANBU who kept theirs concealed whenever they weren't wearing their mask, and for good reason.
ANBU had reputations even within the shinobi community. They were set apart, treated with a little fear and a lot of respect. Elite and skilled just meant the hardest missions, the highest mortality rate, the most likely to break. It wasn't surprising that some shinobi shied away from being in a committed relationship with someone like that. The feeling was often mutual. A good number of ANBU only dated within the organization. It was just easier.
Kakashi had never had a relationship where it mattered, but he'd heard the stories. The ANBU curse, it was called. If a significant other who wasn't in ANBU saw the tattoo, the relationship wouldn't last another month.
He'd seen enough people react to finding out someone was ANBU to picture the wariness that crept into their eyes, the extra space that was placed between them. He didn't want to see Iruka with that expression on his face. His chest tightened at the idea of Iruka looking at him like he was other.
It was common practice to cover the tattoo with people who were just hookups. Casual sex didn't lend itself to revealing that kind of a secret. But this thing with Iruka, it wasn't casual. He wasn't just a hookup. Or at least, Kakashi didn't want him to be.
His time in ANBU had been years ago, but the tattoo and what it represented remained, along with all the baggage that came with it.
The fact that Kakashi had been in ANBU was one of Konoha's worst kept secrets. No mask or cloak was big enough to disguise an ANBU who was still just a kid with messy gray hair and lightning chakra. But there was always room for deniability if he wanted it. He could lie, he could hide it.
Kakashi didn't want to hide it though. He couldn't, not if he wanted this relationship to be what he hoped it could be. It was part of who he was and it wouldn't be fair to either of them if he pretended it didn't exist.
So he'd wait a little longer, let the tension build a little more, and hope for a sign that two swirling red lines wouldn't change everything.
~*~*~
Kakashi was the first to give in, the first to ask for more. Iruka grinned, triumphant, but Kakashi felt like the victor as Iruka let himself be pulled into Kakashi's apartment, and not much later, into his bedroom.
If all the teasing touches and chaste kisses had smoldered within him for weeks, they didn't begin to compare to the fire that was kissing Iruka, feeling their bodies pressed together, holding him just a little tighter. Kakashi was lightheaded from the slide of their tongues against each other, reeling from the thrill of having Iruka in his room, on his bed.
As Iruka went to pull his own shirt off, there was a fraction of hesitation, the slightest faltering of his hands. Kakashi could guess why. Naruto made sure everyone knew what Iruka had done for him, and giant shuriken could leave some impressive scars.
But then his shirt was off, revealing how wrong Kakashi's assumption had been.
Kakashi's eyes zeroed in on the tattoo immediately, the lines of it strange and familiar all at once.
Even without the tattoo and its implications, Kakashi's reputation wasn't that far from an ANBU's. Elite, cold-blooded, dangerous. A hardened killer. There was a chance finding out he was former ANBU wouldn't change how someone looked at him.
But for Iruka, it was different. He was the reliable chuunin, a harmless teacher. Warm, friendly, caring. There was no way people would look at him the same once they knew.
Uncertainty shone in Iruka's eyes as he watched Kakashi's face, waiting for his reaction.
Kakashi rubbed his thumb over the tattoo. "When?" he asked.
Iruka shrugged.
He didn't need to say it, Kakashi knew what that meant. Now. Still.
"It wasn't a coincidence that I had half a dozen clan heirs, the last Uchiha, and Naruto in my class," he said. "Or the Third's grandson."
They weren't at the point where he'd get more than that, so Kakashi didn't push. He could fill in some of the blanks on his own. Iruka must have gone through training when he'd become a teacher in order to help protect his students. Their time in ANBU had overlapped, even if their specialties were so divergent they never would have been assigned to the same mission. For a brief moment he wondered what it would have been like if they had though.
He kissed Iruka and felt some of the tension drain out of him, clearly relieved that Kakashi wasn't making a big deal out of it, that he wasn't asking for more information than Iruka could give.
Kakashi didn't hesitate when he took his own shirt off. He'd thought Iruka might be perfect for him before, this had confirmed it.
Iruka traced a finger along the lines of Kakashi's tattoo. A slow, warm smile spread across his face. "I thought we might match," he said, then leaned in closer.
Kakashi kissed him and finally let himself hold on tight.
~*~*~