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Enta was returning from the market with a packet of cucumber when his phone rang. Is was a text message from Kazuki.
We need to talk. Meet me later on our spot.
His heart raced against his ribcage. Yeah, he still had feelings for Kazuki, even after three years that everything had happened. After all this time, he never had the courage to confess himself. And the worst of all, he couldn’t stop himself to fantasize that, if he did it, maybe Kazuki would like him back. Maybe, just maybe, they would be together. They would go to the cinema together and make out throughout the whole movie, they would share the same ice cream on the beach, they would give chocolate to each other in the Valentines, they would…
He had lost countless hours of his life just imaging all the different scenarios of him and Kazuki together. This was a desire that he would always carry, no matter what. Speaking of desires…
“Reo, we should go home. What if someone sees us?”
“Shh, there is nobody here.”
These voices, aren’t they from that two cops? What are they up to? Enta decided to check the situation, just in case that they were doing something shady. That blond guy shot him, after all.
As expected, Reo and Mabu were making out rather passionately in an empty alley. But Enta wasn’t expecting to find such scenario, and let out a surprised gasp, that didn’t passed unnoticed by the two men.
“Oh no, it’s that brat.” Reo, that was pressing Mabu against a wall, groaned annoyed. “Of all people...”
“Hey, Jimnai-kun, isn’t it? Are you okay?” Mabu, with his hair messy and looking a little lightheaded, smiled to him.
“S-sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt the... I mean…”
“It’s okay, don’t mind us.” And then he looked to the packet in his hands. “Huh? This label… Reo, I will be right back.” And he ran off, his collar still a little crooked.
“Wait, Mabu! Don’t leave me alone… with the brat… whatever.” And he took a cigarette and lit it up. “Hey, weren’t you supposed to be running after that two other brats doing… whatever you guys do.”
Enta just stared at him without saying anything. Reo seemed very annoyed by the uncomfortable silence.
“So, how does it work, you three guys date each other or...”
“What?! No, why would you think that?!”
“Dunno. Didn’t you fancy that guy who copies our daughter?”
“What?! Sara Azuma is your guys daughter? How?!”
“Oh, it is a long story.”
“And how do you know that I like Kazuki?”
“Keppi told Sara that told us.”
“I will kill Keppi.”
“Leve it to later, kero. I need both of you now, kero.”
“What?! Keppi?!”
Keppi, that appeared out of nowhere, crashed against their asses with a ‘Kerooo’, turning them into kappas.
“Sorry, kero. But it was an emergency, kero. A kappa zombie appeared suddenly and you two were the first ones that I found, kero.”
“What, a kappa zombie?! But weren’t the otters defeated?” Enta was looking lost in the rickshaw as Keppi pulled him and Reo.
“Ha! Don’t be silly. These fucking otters always appears from time to time. Let’s just kill this bastard for them to disappear again.” Reo, who was already pissed over Enta’s intrusion earlier, now was in a terrible mood.
Enta and Reo performed the dance and Reo was the one who extracted the shirikodama from the zombie’s ass. Enta was kinda of afraid of what he would see during the Sarazanmai.
Reo was young, he looked 11 or 12 years old, and was dressed in a strange uniform. With him, there was two other teens in the same uniform. They were in a chamber of a castle.
“Oh, did you guys heard? Keppi is going to hold a ball for the students at the end of the year, and we can go together with someone. Aaah, I think I will ask Mei to come with me! I’m so nervous, I think I will throw up.”
Reo found these people annoying, but he had to wait for Mabu finish his test there. And now he was curious and decided to ask.
“Why are you so nervous? You are just asking the person to go with you.”
“Don’t you know? When you ask someone to go to the ball with you it means that you like this person.”
“So what? Would you rather that the person thinks that you don’t like them?” Reo was really puzzled. What was wrong with liking something or someone? He, for example, liked cucumber, days without homework and Mabu. He really liked Mabu. He decided to ask him to go with him to the ball later.
“Not like that! I mean, like as a couple!”
Realization suddenly hit Reo. Oh, so that’s it. And to think he was almost asking it to Mabu. But he was kind of annoyed, he really wanted to go to the ball with Mabu. There isn’t anyone else he wants to go with. It would be so fun! But it would mean that he wants them to be a couple. Reo blushed. That’s a strange feeling that he was used by now, but he could exactly say what it was.
The scene changed, and now Reo was with an also young Mabu.
“Hey Reo, let’s go together to the ball.”
“Sure.” Reo answered without thinking. But then, he jolted.
“M-Mabu, do you know what asking someone to go with you to a ball means?”
“What? Isn’t it just to go together?”
“N-no, it mean… that you l-like this person…”
“So what? I always say that I like you, what’s wrong with that?” Mabu smiled and Reo blushed violently.
“But it is like as… as a c-couple…” Reo adverted his gaze to the ground, flushed to the tip of his ears.
“Ah… so that’s it…” Now Mabu was also embarrassed and grumbled something unintelligible.
“What did you say?”
“It’s just that sometimes I want to do some couple stuff with you!” Mabu shouted and turned his face to the side.
“You know what? Me too! I kinda of like to hold your hand, and I heard that couples do that.” Reo confessed.
“Right? I also liked it when we snuggled together to sleep, why we stopped doing that?”
“Because that person once said we looked like like a couple…”
“That’s silly.”
“I agree. We should do these things.”
“Uh, Reo?”
“What?”
“We like doing couple stuff, and I like you. Do you like me?”
“Of course! I tell you this everyday.”
“So why don’t we become a couple?”
Reo felt his mind blow. Is it just simple like that? He felt that feeling more intense than ever.
“Yes!” And he hugged Mabu tight.
The scene changed again, and now Reo and Mabu were 15 years old and they were at another ball, slow dancing to a song called “Eu sei que vou te amar”, from a foreign language that they didn’t understand, but the music made sense for them. Their foreheads were touching and Reo was staring lovingly to Mabu. Loving as a couple was the most exciting adventure, and he was accompanied by his favorite person in the world. He would never get enough of this feeling, no matter what happens to them in the future, no matter how things change. They will be together forever, and he will always love Mabu.
“Hey, Reo” He whispered.
“Huh?”
“There is a couple thing that we never did and I would like to try out.”
“Go on.”
He wasn’t surprised when he felt lips against his own. But he would never expect the feeling that followed. The ball, the palace, the kappa kingdom disappeared and there only was only the person that he loved. It felt like warm blankets and sweet tea. It felt as lovely green eyes behind blurry glasses. It felt like a hand reaching for his own forever. His Mabu.
Keppi absorbed the shirikodama and they returned to their human form.
“Reo, I came back! You won’t believe it, I finally found the market that we had bought that cucumber you liked so much. Here, I bought some!” Mabu came back running, he was carrying a huge box with at least fifty cucumbers inside it.
Reo didn't bat an eyelid and was wrapping his arms around Mabu. “Mabu! I missed you so much! What took you so long? I love you so much!” He cried.
“Huh? Why are you suddenly so emotional? You were so grumpy when I left.”
“Never!”
“We should leave them, kero. Huh?”
When Keppi looked at Enta, he was looking down with a sorrow expression.
“This is so unfair! Why can’t I have what they have?”
“You mean with Kazuki, kero.”
“I like him a lot, and yet I always feel like my feelings are a disrespect to him. He only sees me as a friend. I kissed him once secretly, and I felt so bad for doing it after that! Why can’t it just be simple?”
“It sounds like the feelings aren’t mutual.” Reo attested, still wrapped around Mabu.
“Well, if he didn’t like you back then, wouldn’t you still love him the same way?”
“Of course I would!”
“Allow me to point out something, kero.” Keppi intervened. “They could still like each other if their feelings weren’t mutual, kero. But they wouldn’t share the same connection that they share now, kero. What makes their connection so strong and powerful is that they love each other in equal measures, kero. Their desires are intertwined, kero.”
“K-Keppi!” Both Reo and Mabu were blushing.
“But I guess he is right” Reo shrugged.
“Huh? Weren’t you the ones always saying ‘don’t let go of your desires’? It doesn’t sound like you.”
“But you should choose desires that are worth holding onto.” Mabu pointed out, and Reo tightened his arms around him.
“Oh.”
“Well, now please excuse us. I have to go make dinner.” Mabu said, giving Reo a knowing look that made him blush.
“Okay I guess…” In a blink of an eye, the couple and Keppi had disappeared.
When Enta arrived at their spot, Kazuki was already there.
“Hey, Enta. How are you?” He seemed… kind of nervous?
“Kazuki! I-I’m fine. And you?”
“Good. So am I.”
“So… what did you wanted to talk about.”
“Enta, I have to tell you something. I-I recently realized that I like a person, and this person is…”
Enta’s heart was almost jumping out of his mouth. Oh my god, is it really true then? Was he going to say ‘you’? Maybe, maybe he wasn’t wrong with his hopes, maybe…
“Tooi.”
Enta looked around confused for a moment. “Huh? Is Tooi here?”
“No, I meant that I like Tooi and I want to ask him out. Are you okay with it? I value your friendship a lot, and we are a trio, so if you think that things would get strange I won’t do anything.”
In this moment, in Enta’s mind, there were two Kazukis side by side. One of them said ‘I like Enta and I want to ask him out’ and the other said ‘I like Tooi and I want to ask him out’. He reached out his hand trying to touch the first, but he couldn’t feel anything, so he adverted his eyes, making the first Kazuki disappear, leaving only one still waiting for his answer.
“Oh, that’s good! I’m sure that Tooi likes you back, you should go after it.”
“But don’t you…”
“Me? You both are important to me, and I want more than anything to see you happy, so of course I would be happy with it.”
“Thank you Enta, it means a lot!” And Kazuki hugged him. Enta slowly hugged him back. He wasn’t devastated, nor he felt pain. He felt tired above all. He remembered the two cops back when they were young, happily declaring their feelings like it was the most natural thing in they world. They weren’t wrong, though. It should be. But he couldn’t have it. So he decided that he had enough of feeling this way.
Tooi was surprised when Kazuki called to meet him. Even more when he said that he liked him. Well, to be honest, he wasn’t oblivious to the glances that Kazuki would give him every now and then, or how he would sometimes touch him in a different way. He had a crush on Kazuki too. He was really handsome and knew how to be sexy when he wanted. He always though that if it wasn’t for one thing they would definitely go out together.
“Enta will be heartbroken. You know how much he still is in love with you.”
“I know. But I don’t like him back, Tooi! I can’t and don’t want to force myself to like him back. And just because he won’t get over it am I not allowed to be with other people I like? It’s unfair!”
“You are right Kazuki. You have the right to be with who you want, and Enta would eventually feel heartbroken about it. But still, I will be selfish now. I don’t want to be because of me that it happens. Sorry, but he is my friend just as much as you are.”
“It’s fine, I get it. You like him, don’t ya?”
“What?! Where did that come from?”
Kazuki stepped close and kissed him. Tooi, of course, was surprised and a little flushed.
“What the hell! I just said that…”
“It’s fine. Now go after him and kiss him too. You will know what I am talking about.”
“How many times will I have to say that...”
Kazuki walked away, clearly riled up. Tooi just stood there for some moments processing everything. Then, he walked around the city, thinking about what Kazuki said. Of course that he cares a lot about Enta, and don’t want to see him upset, but he feels the same way towards Kazuki. He doesn’t like him like that just because of it. Somehow, he arrived in front of the subject’s house, and decided to ring the bell.
“Tooi? Ah, I was expecting you to come eventually.”
He was confused by this greeting. “Can I come in?”
“Sure.”
After they entered Enta’s room and Tooi sat on the bed, he realized that he had nothing to say, but Enta didn’t noticed it.
“You don’t need to say anything, Tooi. It’s alright.”
“Huh?”
“Kazuki already told me. I know that you know how I feel towards Kazuki, but it’s alright. I am just so…” He burst into laughing.
“Enta?”
“I am so fucking tired of being pathetic, you know? I guess I really envy those cops, you know, that one that shot me and his partner, but it isn’t for me. I guess it must be something very rare, to love and to be loved back.” He sighed.
“Enta, me and Kazuki aren’t together. We decided that it’s for the best that…”
“Oh, that’s nice of you guys. But there is no need to do it. Kazuki can be with whoever he wants. I decided that I am better alone. I am too clumsy and too energetic when it comes to liking someone. But…” He wrapped his arm around Tooi’s shoulder. “All I need is my friends!”
Enta was acting really… different from his usual self? Tooi was confused and didn’t know what to make of it, and now they were so close…
“Can I kiss you?” He regretted instantly.
“What?!”
“I think it will be good for you to chill for a while, relationships are really tricky.” Tooi said, hoping that he wouldn’t pay attention in what he said before.
“Yeah, totally. But before, you asked if…”
“It was only a test! I wanted to see if you would stick to your word, but it was a stupid idea, don’t mind me, hahaha…”
“Yeah, it was kinda of stupid. But, can I kiss you?”
“What?!”
“I don't know, I just want so kiss someone. You know, that kiss with Kazuki was the only kiss I ever had.”
“That kiss... was the only one you ever had?”
“Yeah, if you don't count that one time with Keppi. I wanted to do it one more time so that..”
Abruptly, Tooi reached his nape with one hand and sealed their lips. What Enta had said made him feel hopeful for some reason, and he couldn’t understand why so he just acted without thinking. But he never though that Enta’s lips would be so soft and fit so well in his. Or how he would let out a small and adorable sound of surprise before putting his hands on his cheek and deepening the kiss. And that was when he realized that his brother was right. Kisses are the devil indeed. They could make you fall in love.
When they drifted apart, Tooi panicked. Why he did that? And why his heart was pounding so fast right now?
Enta smiled sadly. “I think this wasn’t a good idea.”
When Tooi heard it, all his hesitation vanished. Why it wasn't a good idea? Because he didn't like it or... maybe he didn't wanted to be alone so much after it? He decided to make sure it was the second option.
And again he pulled Enta into a kiss, and this time he gave everything that he got, the tight hold in his waist in opposition to the gentle hand in his cheek. He wanted Enta to like it, to make him see that there were other options besides Kazuki. He would even dare to say that he wanted Enta to considere him as an option.
They spent several minutes on it. Tooi was almost desperate, kissing Enta like he was trying to save his life. When it ended, Enta looked like he even forgot who he was.
“Enta, I like you.”
“…”
“I know that I am not Kazuki, but… fuck, he doesn’t deserve you, you idiot! You are really stupid Jimnai, because of one crush that wasn’t mutual you won’t let anyone change your mind! I know that you don’t like me back, but there are surely someone out there that knows how amazing you are, how all your face lit up when you smile, how your hair shines in the sun, how your mouth is so good to kiss, I mean, who would be so dumb not to notice it? Okay, maybe I am kinda of dumb because I didn’t noticed that I noticed it until now, but hey, I always knew I was dumb, so…”
“Hey, Tooi.”
“Shut up, I’m not finished, listen…”
“Okay, okay. But before you go on, let me just say one thing.”
“Fine.”
“I am glad that you aren’t Kazuki.”
“Fine, but now let me finish… I mean, what?!”
“You said that you knew you weren’t Kazuki, but I am actually very happy that you are Tooi, not Kazuki, because… you won me in the first kiss.”
“Huh?!” Now it was Tooi that was at lost of words.
“I am glad that you are Tooi, because when you kissed me, it made me feel in a way I didn’t know it was possible.”
“In a good way?” Tooi asked looking away.
Enta laughed “Good? I will just say this: you won this time, Kuji.”
“I can let you win if I still get to kiss you.”
“Tooi, if I give it another chance, do you promise to do this with me?”
Tooi embraced him and lowered them on the mattress. “I promise, I will make it worth.”