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Katsuki leaned against the railing, looking down at the streets from the rooftop, in awe of how peaceful it all looked after such an intense battle only hours earlier.
He waited for Izuku, who’d promised to meet him, looking confused by the urgency in Katsuki’s invitation. They’d been doing this for a while, having drinks together after particularly stressful shifts to decompress from the day’s work and to catch up with each other. But tonight was going to be different. Katsuki had something important to do, something he’d been wanting, needing to do, but he’d stupidly been trying to wait for the right moment until he realized there was no right moment. Such a moment didn’t exist on its own. It was something he needed to create.
And so he bought a six-pack of Izuku’s favorite beer and placed it in the cooler. He showered fast after the shift, anxious to get up to the rooftop himself first, in order to give the appearance of nonchalance, holding on to the last bits of composure he had, because he’d never done anything like this before and he was second-guessing everything, including the planning of it, because wouldn’t it be better spontaneous? Yes, but I can’t do spontaneous, he thought.
Many people assumed because of his explosive personality and Quirk that he did everything on the fly, with no forethought. Yes, Katsuki was volatile, but he could be measured when he wanted to be and for this, he wanted to be. He approached it almost like an attack, applying the strategy and tactics he thought would be most successful. The ritual aspect of their meeting, Izuku’s favorite beer. Fresh air. The night sky. The smell of Katsuki’s musky shampoo mixed with his natural burnt sugar scent. Katsuki hoped all these elements would work together like fine ingredients in a recipe, carefully selected to elicit the desired effect, mingling of course, with the secret ingredient, love. Love? Right, love. This was the mission at hand. To confess his love to Izuku. He sighed as he felt the pang of nerves in his belly, all too familiar these days. But hopefully, this confession would ease some of that tension and anxiety. He closed his eyes, enjoying the soft breeze on his skin and the rustling of his spiky blond hair, which lightly tickled his forehead.
“Hey,” said Izuku approaching, two beers in hand. “Thanks for getting this.” He held up the bottles. He passed one to Katsuki and they clinked, a habit of theirs now. Katsuki turned so his back was to the cityscape, leaning his elbows on the cool metal of the railing. Izuku’s bright smile lit up the night and Katsuki’s heart. “Tough case today,” Izuku commented, as he took a sip of beer. Katsuki nodded in affirmation. He caught Izuku absentmindedly rubbing the muscles of his arm with the other hand and reaching for a spot on his back he couldn’t quite reach. He scrunched his face as he struggled and Katsuki found it incredibly cute.
“Here. Can I?” asked Katsuki, setting down his beer and offering a hand to massage the sore spot. Everything in Katsuki went haywire as Izuku nodded and allowed Katsuki to move a gentle hand across his back. Katsuki’s heart pounded somewhere in his throat, his skin felt afire and his palms itched with sweat. Luckily he had remarkable control of his Quirk, or they’d both be in real danger. Izuku leaned into the touch and seemed appreciative, letting out little sounds that nearly stirred something else in Katsuki. It’s really now or never. How is this not the perfect opportunity? Thought Katsuki. “How’s that?” he asked, aware of his own breath on Izuku’s neck, the intimacy of such closeness. Katsuki never wanted it to end.
“Hmmm, that’s good Kacchan. It helps, thank you. I need to get a real massage one of these days, but you know I’m not the best at self-ca…”
Katsuki threw caution to the wind, cutting Izuku off mid-word with a press of his lips, his hands cupping the sides of Izuku’s face, green curls cascading over Katsuki’s fingers. All fear and apprehension melted away as Izuku returned the kiss, moved with him, responded, dare he hope, eagerly. Katsuki felt as though little pieces of himself were dying and coming alive all at once. Kissing Izuku was the most brilliant thing he’d ever done and he’d done a lot of brilliant things.
Katsuki didn’t want to stop, but he had words yet to say. He didn’t want to rush through this moment or overwhelm Izuku or overstay his welcome, either. He let Izuku take the lead and when they pulled apart with flushed faces, Katsuki felt within him an emptiness and a longing that hadn’t been there before. Damn, this was supposed to make things easier.
“Deku…” he trailed off. He ran his knuckles across Izuku’s freckled cheek and suddenly he lost his nerve. “Hmmm,” he said falling onto his back, pulling Izuku with him. The concrete of the roof was cold and uncomfortable and when Katsuki shifted he found himself moving away from Izuku rather than towards, not what he’d intended. Izuku gazed at him questioningly but didn’t speak. He followed Katsuki’s gaze up to the sky. It was difficult to make out the stars with the light pollution, but the moon shone bright and it grounded Katsuki. He grabbed Izuku’s hand and pulled it into his chest, tracing circles over this palm. Izuku didn’t protest. He looked like he had a million things to say. Katsuki did have a million things to say but nothing would come out. Katsuki mentally kicked himself. He’d just have to try again. For now, Katsuki and Izuki lay there on their backs, ignoring the deep chasm they’d opened between them, contemplating the moon, beer bottles forgotten on the ledge.