Work Text:
“I don’t understand why it’s not working.”
“Leave it alone for five minutes, will you? It’s not something everyone gets on their first try.”
“This is my fifth!”
“So it’s about time to give it a rest, yeah?”
“John!”
“Listen, not being able to make a loaf of bread isn’t the end of the world, okay? No, put that down, you are not stabbing - you are not sticking that to the wall with a knife. You know it’s just going to break apart and fall off.”
“But it’s just chemistry! I know chemistry! I know how to make chemistry work!”
“Bit of biology too.”
“A yeast culture. I know how to do those too.”
“In the lab. I’m not trying to put you down, love, I just want to point out that you have a very different skill set and life experience from someone who bakes bread for a living. Or Mrs. Hudson, for that matter.”
“I know that. God. I haven’t left the flat in two weeks.”
“And that’s the real trouble, isn’t it?”
“The last trip I made outside was to Tesco.”
“For milk. I remember.”
“I haven’t stayed in one place for so long since I was shot.”
“And you’re not enough of a fool to break quarantine just because you’re bored--”
“Americans.”
“--so you’re taking your frustration out on bread.”
“Pseudo-bread. They said kneading would help with the frustration!”
“And did it?”
“No!”
“Okay then. Maybe it’s time to walk away for a while. And maybe try something simpler. Say, banana bread?”
“We have no bananas today.”
“All right. Soda bread. Or beer bread. Something that doesn’t involve Mrs. Hudson’s yeast or that thing you call a sourdough starter. I’ll help. How does that sound?”
“Good.”
“Good. Wait, don’t - oh, Christ, you’ve got flour all over my laptop.”
“And the front of your jumper and your jeans. Leave it alone for five minutes, will you?”