Work Text:
2010
"We'll be dressed up as cheerleaders," Harry said seriously, before shaking his head. "Oh wait, that was last night," he added, looking at Louis with a slightly confused expression.
"And cut! Thanks lads, that was awesome," Mel, the producer told them with a bright grin, before leading Tom with the camera away.
Louis chuckled softly, watching them leave for a moment, before he turned his attention back to Harry, who had started chewing on the knuckle of his index finger nervously.
"Hey, what's this for?" Louis asked softly, gently pulling the digit away, not wanting Harry to hurt himself.
"I just..." Harry started and trailed off, shrugging his shoulders and looking at his hands in his lap. "Dunno," he finished in a mumble.
"C'mon, Haz," Louis shifted his weight, turning to face Harry more and resting a hand on Harry's knee, feeling a little like he did when he managed to get Lottie to admit she was being bullied. But not quite, he quickly thought to himself. Definitely much different feelings involved here. "You know you can talk to me about anything at all," he continued, keeping his voice gentle, only loud enough for Harry to hear.
"I just," Harry said again, sighing heavily. "What I said about dressing up as a cheerleader."
"Yeah?"
"What if people take it the wrong way?" he asked in a faint whisper. "What if they think it means that I'm... weird?"
"Well," Louis wriggled closer again, pulling Harry practically into his lap. "Firstly, if they think that, they can fuck right off - you're perfect as you are, Harold. Even if you're wearing a dress."
"But --"
"And secondly," he continued as though Harry hadn't tried interrupting. "Even if you did feel like wearing dresses, that's entirely up to you, it's no one else's business, and it sure as shit does not make you weird, my darling."
Harry looked at him quickly, his eyes shimmering a little with unshed tears.
"Y-you mean that?" he asked nervously, his voice cracking slightly.
"Every single word," Louis reassured him, giving him a soft smile, before he leaned in slowly, raising an eyebrow and watching for Harry's reaction.
He needn't have worried - as soon as Louis was close enough, Harry's eyes closed and their lips pressed together, with Harry's hand gripping onto Louis' arm tightly. Louis let out a soft hum, slipping his arm around Harry's waist and pulling him in tighter, grunting softly as Harry shifted around, accidentally kneeing him in the stomach.
"Shit, sorry," Harry whispered against his lips.
"Maybe we should move this somewhere else?" Louis suggested, running his hand up and down Harry's back.
"Or maybe you two could come up for air and get your asses onstage," Zayn suggested drily. "We need you for the next run through."
"Cockblocker," Louis told him, flipping his middle finger up.
Zayn didn't reply, simply rolled his eyes and led the way down to the stage where Liam and Niall were waiting.
As Harry stood from Louis' lap to follow Zayn, Louis caught hold of his hand and stopped him.
"Hey, just so you know," he murmured. "We can talk about this whenever you want. No matter what. Okay?"
Harry smiled softly, leaning down to press another gentle kiss to his lips.
"I know," he agreed. "And it means so much. Thank you, Lou."
Louis shrugged a shoulder with a shy smile, before he jumped up and threw his arm around Harry's neck, pulling him down and rubbing at his head in a noogie.
"C'mon, Styles!" he half-yelled. "They need the talent onstage to make this work!"
----
2011
They had just left the radio station and clambered into the waiting people carrier, Paul up front with Mike, their driver, while the five lads all piled in the back, sitting practically on top of each other, as had become habit. Liam and Zayn had immediately bowed their heads together, talking quietly about an album that one of Zayn's friends had messaged him about. Niall was leaning over the front seat, chattering away to Paul and Mike.
Which left Louis and Harry, sat in the very back as always, lost in their own little bubble.
"Do you really think it looks okay?" Harry asked nervously, looking down at his hands uncertainly.
"Yeah, love," Louis said, his voice soft and reassuring. "I think it's perfect. It suits you." He eyed the nail varnish that coated Harry's nails, smudged where the younger boy had struggled against it at first. "I think we can find a better colour though, to be honest. Not sure that lime green really suits you. Maybe a soft baby blue? Or a pretty pink?"
Harry looked up at him with a bright and adoring smile.
"And you'd still like me? If I wore nail varnish sometimes?" he asked hesitantly, his slight stammer revealing to Louis how deep these insecurities lay.
"Oh darling," Louis sighed softly, reaching up to rest a hand on Harry's cheek. "I'm always going to like you." He leaned in, carefully pressing a gentle kiss to Harry's lips. "You're kinda stuck with me, if I'm honest."
Harry smiled shyly and hid his face in Louis' neck, slipping his arms around Louis' waist.
"Thank you," he mumbled.
"Of course," Louis murmured, gently squeezing.
----
2012
The plane from London touched down at JFK just as the sun began to set.
"So I guess we're just gonna get up extra early for rehearsals in the morning?" Harry asked Paul, his voice rough with disuse, as they sleepily disembarked.
"Sorry, kid," Paul replied ruefully.
"We're going there now, aren't we?" Louis asked dully, rubbing at his eyes.
A wave of sighs escaped all five of the boys as Paul nodded slowly.
"Let's just get on with it," Liam suggested. "We'll deal with it when we get there."
"Sleep when we're dead," Niall added.
"There's Red Bull waiting for you in the car," Paul offered, pulling his phone out as it beeped with a message. "We just gotta get the setlist finalised, the sound levels sorted, and your blocking confirmed. I'm hoping we can be in and out of there in less than an hour." He read the message and grimaced. "Maybe two. Seems like there's a bit of a crowd there already."
“Game faces on, lads,” Louis called out, just as they entered the arrivals lounge to a sudden cacophony of sound. “Oh fuck me,” he added under his breath, completely surprised by the noise.
“Later,” Harry nudged him and winked. “When there are fewer people around.”
“Pfft, like you’re not an exhibitionist,” Louis immediately shot back.
“You’re both fucking show-offs,” Zayn corrected, huffing as he pushed past with the obvious intention of bypassing the crowds, Liam trailing closely behind him.
"Malik, Payne, get your asses back here," Paul boomed. "You got five minutes with these, then we're getting in the car, and we're getting to the Rockefeller Plaza ASAP."
The five all smothered yawns, but made their way over to the crowds, forcing bright smiles as they took selfies and signed merchandise, until they were ushered away and into a wall of paparazzi.
"Oh fucking wonderful," Niall muttered. "Just what we fucking need."
Instead of the usual thirty minutes, it took them over an hour to get out of the airport's complex and over to the Rockefeller Plaza, by which time all five boys were in various states of sleep - with Zayn and Liam completely out cold and wrapped around each other, Niall mumbling under his breath and occasionally kicking out a foot, while Louis and Harry were curled together in a lazy half-doze.
As the van pulled into the reserved space, Paul turned to look at them with a sigh, before he reluctantly leaned back to shake Louis' shoulder.
"C'mon, lads," he said carefully. "Time to wake up. We're here."
"Hmm?" Louis lifted his head off of Harry's and peered at Paul quizzically. "Oh, right. Yeah. I'll get them up, Paul."
Within five minutes, Louis had managed to wake everyone, ply them all with the chilled cans of Red Bull that Paul had promised them, and get them out of the van onto the cold street in the heart of New York City.
"Okay, I get that it's a fucking honour or what the fuck ever, but fuck me it's fucking cold," Liam muttered, shivering hard in his thick coat.
"I think that's the most swear words I've ever heard from you in a single sentence before, Payno," Louis told him with admiration in his voice.
Liam shot him a glare then huffed into his collar as he started to follow Paul up towards the staging.
"Jon and the boys are already here and set up," Paul was explaining as he started to hand out in-ears and microphones. "Really, I should've had you warming your voices up in the van, but your sleep was more important. So be careful when you're singing. There's warm honey and lemon on the trolley over to stage left - make sure you use it, or Helene will have my guts for garters." He paused to look at them all. "There's a lot of kids here, so obviously no full songs. But if we can make some attempt at sorting out your cues and blocking, that'll be a great help for the camera folk in the morning. No going off-script, no pratting about, just stick to what's needed, then we may stand a chance of getting a few hours of sleep tonight."
Louis saluted him with his microphone, then immediately prodded Niall's side with part of a mic stand he'd found.
"Tommo!" Niall protested as he ducked out of the way.
Louis opened his mouth to reply, but noticed Harry standing off to one side, one hand clutching tightly at the microphone, while the other played with his bottom lip - an anxious tell that Louis immediately recognised.
"Hey you," he greeted softly. "What's got your head in a mix?"
"Dunno," Harry shrugged, pulling his head forward, ruffling it, and flicking it back in what had become his signature move.
"What did we say about lying?" Louis reminded him carefully.
"Not to do it," Harry sighed. "I know, but this is stupid, it's not even really worthy of being called a lie." Louis just raised his eyebrows. "I dunno, I just..." he sighed again, heavier this time. "I'd love to just be me out there, y'know? Instead of having to play at being this overly macho idiot who'd happily fuck all the girls out there, then go look for more." He pouted a little. "I just wanna dance."
Louis watched him for a few moments, before tucking his microphone in his pocket and clapping his hands.
"Right!" he said loudly, gaining the attention of everyone around. "Let's get this done. Irish, Zaynie, Leemo, Styles, let's get out there and nail this non-rehearsal."
Within minutes, all five were where they were supposed to be, working their way through the short setlist and making sure they didn't bump into each other too much. At one point, the rehearsal was paused as Niall had a question about one particular set of blocking and audio, because in his opinion 'they didn't match'. Louis wasn't entirely sure what he was getting at, but was more than happy to take advantage of the situation. He quickly skipped over to Dan, asking him to play the basic riff of You're The One That I Want, and then bounced back into place just as it started, with the rest of the band quickly catching on and joining in.
"C'mon," Louis encouraged Harry, grabbing his hand and pulling him over to the catwalk. "Let's do this!"
He grinned at his boyfriend and immediately started to pull off the famous dance from Grease, shimmying and stepping carefully backwards along the stage. He couldn't help but beam as Harry relented and joined in, shimmying his shoulders as he followed Louis down the stage. Neither acknowledged the loud screams, too wrapped up in their own little world as they let the restrictions and demands fall by the wayside for that one moment in time.
And as far as Louis was concerned, it was worth it all, for that huge, dimple-filled smile that Harry gave him.
----
2013
Louis groaned quietly as he turned over, reaching out for Harry and frowning when he found only cool, empty sheets. He lifted his head in confusion, peering at the clock on the bedside table, the bright red glow of ' 7:15 ' blinking at him.
"What the fuck, Styles," he mumbled, sitting up as he rubbed at his eye with the heel of his hand.
They finally had three whole days off in a row - after travelling the six and a half hours from Tinley Park to Minneapolis straight after the last show finished. Louis had practically dragged Harry into the hotel from the bus just after half past five, and both of them had collapsed in a heap on the bed, mumbling declarations and promises not to be up before midday. Yet here they were, not even two hours later, and Louis was alone.
He let out a heavy sigh as he got to his feet, pulling one of Harry's ridiculously large Green Bay Packers' hoodies over his head and checking he had the room key before he left the room. As he waited for the elevator to reach his floor, he couldn't help but nuzzle his cheek and nose into the soft material, a small smile teasing at his lips as he inhaled the unmistakable scent of Harry.
Louis hugged himself tighter as he got into the car and pressed the button for the lower ground, where the gym was located. Because he knew that's where his boyfriend was bound to have gone. Louis frowned slightly as he considered Harry's newest obsession - working out at every possible moment, until he was literally shaking with the effort and strain he'd put his muscles through. Louis had tried talking to him about it; carefully and repeatedly advised that Harry was taking it too far, that he was going to be ill, and had even roped Mark into the warnings, having seen the personal trainer getting more and more anxious about Harry's increasing lengths of time on the gym equipment. But all of it was in vain - Harry was determined to continue his gruelling workouts, repeatedly muttering under his breath about breathing through the pain, and that it would all be worth it.
Louis wasn't even sure what 'it' was.
He carefully pushed open the door to the gym, sighing inwardly as his suspicions were proved correct, as he found Harry wearing only a pair of shorts, with obnoxiously neon green trainers on his feet, pounding away at a treadmill, under a single soft spotlight.
"Haz?" he called carefully, biting his lip when he got no reply. He walked slowly closer, making sure his reflection was obvious in the mirror, trying not to startle Harry.
Harry, who jumped anyway, slamming his hand down on the emergency stop with one hand as the other yanked his earbuds free.
"Fuck, Lou!" he exclaimed.
"Sorry!" Louis immediately apologised. "I was trying to be obvious without scaring you!"
"That didn't work well," Harry glared playfully.
"I noticed," Louis shrugged a shoulder. "What are you doing down here? I woke up alone," he added with a pout, trying to avoid accusing Harry of anything related to the gym.
"Sorry, darling," Harry panted softly, stepping off of the treadmill, a towel wrapped around his neck as he stepped closer and pressed a kiss to Louis' forehead. "Was getting antsy. Needed to just run, or something."
Louis leaned back against one of the work benches, eyeing Harry carefully.
"You know I love you, don't you?" he asked suddenly, causing Harry to raise an eyebrow at him
"Uh, yeah?" Harry said uncertainly. "Why?"
"I just..." Louis trailed off slowly, gathering his thoughts before he continued. "I don't want you to ever think that you need to change yourself for me. I love you just the way you are."
Harry visibly softened, wiping his face and chest quickly with the towel as he moved into Louis' personal space.
"I know that," Harry reassured him, slipping his arms around Louis' waist. "I know that with every single fibre of my being." He gently kissed the tip of Louis' nose. "I know you're worried about how much exercise I'm doing. I spoke to Mum - and can I just say, getting the family involved was an incredibly low blow, and I don't know if or when I can ever forgive you for that - and she told me that I need to lay off it a bit, before you worry yourself into an early grave or something."
"I wouldn't say I worry that much," Louis protested weakly. "But yeah, I have been a little concerned, it's true."
Harry gazed at him for a few beats, before he bit his lip and took a deep breath.
"I ripped a pair of jeans," he blurted out. "My favourite pair. The ones I wore on our first date."
Louis stared at him for a moment, then sighed softly.
"Love, you were sixteen when we went on our first date," he said carefully. "You're eighteen now, and you're in the middle of another growth spurt, judging by the pain I'm starting to get in my neck whenever I look at you. Of course they're not going to fit any more." He paused, searching Harry's eyes for anything he was missing, then gasped softly as he realised. "Oh, Haz. My love. Of course I still love you. I'm always going to love you. Even if you can't fit into the same jeans you could when you were a child." He pulled Harry closer, smiling when his boyfriend curled himself up smaller so as to fit in Louis' embrace properly. "I love that we're growing up together, my beautiful boy," he whispered against Harry's ear. "I love that I'm getting to see you like this. Getting to see every part of you, getting to witness first hand every single little difference that happens with you. I feel so honoured, especially when I know that I'm going to adore you through each and every stage of it."
"I was worried you'd stop," Harry mumbled quietly.
"Never gonna happen, pal," Louis assured him with a gentle chuckle. "Got me til the end of the line."
Harry paused for a moment, then peered at Louis through narrowed eyes.
"Did you just quote Captain America at me?" he asked.
"Well..." Louis shifted his weight, looking a little sheepish. "Technically, that was Bucky Barnes?"
"You are such a fucking nerd," Harry chuckled affectionately. "Let's go back to our room. I need a shower, then we can sleep for ten hours, and watch Captain America when we wake up."
"Like you don't have a thing for Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan too," Louis huffed, folding his arms defensively across his chest as he followed Harry out of the gym.
"I personally think you're just hoping I won't mention how adorable I think you look in my hoody right now," Harry shrugged.
"Oh, don't even start with me, Styles."
----
2014
"How about if we try... this?" Lou asked, wrapping a different headscarf around Harry's head.
"No, no, nope," he shook his head quickly, tugging it away. "It's too thick, Lou. I'm already sweating buckets. It's gonna be worse out there onstage." He sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. "I don't know what to do." He looked at her in the mirror. "And I'm sorry, for being a pain. Maybe go see how Ni's doing?"
She nodded and pressed a kiss to the back of his head, before putting Lux on his lap and then going over to where Niall was sat chatting with Josh and Sandy. Within a few seconds, Louis had appeared, cooing at Lux in greeting, and then raising worried eyes to Harry's.
"Everything okay, love?" he asked softly.
"I dunno," Harry sighed heavily, leaning back in the chair and squeezing Lux gently. "None of the headscarves feel right today. I guess I'll have to just put it in a bun?"
"Well..." Louis hedged.
"What?" Harry raised an eyebrow.
"This is only an idea," Louis warned. "But why don't you just leave it loose?" he suggested, reaching up to run his fingers through the curls. "It's long enough that you can tuck it behind your ears, and you can always have an elastic around your wrist for if it gets too annoying."
Harry gazed at him slowly.
"You, uh, you really think I can get away with it?" he whispered after a few moments.
"Definitely, love," Louis nodded quickly. "You'll look beautiful." He smiled softly. "Long hair, don't care, right?"
"I'm still annoyed you cut yours," Harry huffed. "'Oh yeah, babe, I'll grow mine out with you, it'll be fun,'" he scoffed. "Sure, until you and Zayn get high and decide to cut each other's off."
"It seemed like a good idea, two blunts in?" Louis offered with a hopeful smile.
Harry just rolled his eyes, before he leaned in, pressing a kiss to Louis' lips.
"Good job I love you, shithead."
----
2015
"You finally gonna wear it?" Caroline asked, holding up the hanger.
"I think so," Harry nodded slowly, biting his bottom lip as he gazed at the shirt.
"You wanna wait until Lou gets here?" she guessed.
"Is that okay?" he looked at her uncertainly.
"Course it is, sweetheart," she smiled, squeezing his arm gently. "I'll go shove some clothes at Liam and Niall. Luckily for the late pair I already know what I'm forcing them into, and they're not going to argue, not if they know what's best for them..."
Her voice trailed off as she wandered over to the wardrobe, leaving Harry still looking at the shirt.
He was so engrossed in his own thoughts, he didn't notice his boyfriend - fiancé - when he appeared in the doorway and leaned against the doorframe with his arms folded over his chest.
"You're gonna look pretty in that," Louis eventually spoke up, his voice rough with lack of sleep, an excess of cigarettes, the fallout of two long haul flights in three days, and dealing with the screaming girls at the airport and outside.
Harry visibly jolted and spun around on his heel, his face lighting up at the sight of the other man.
"Lou," he murmured, crossing the space between them in two large strides so that he could wrap Louis up in his arms, burying his face in the soft warmth of Louis' hoody.
"Hiya, darling," Louis replied with a sigh, wrapping his arms around Harry and burying the fingers of one hand in his curls. "Missed you."
"I missed you too," came the mumbled answer.
They stood there for a few moments longer, before Harry eventually pulled away and ran a hand through his hair.
"So, you deciding on whether or not to wear that?" Louis asked with a nod at the shirt.
"Yeah," Harry nodded slowly. "Trying to work out if it's the right time."
"Oh, it definitely is," Louis nodded, starting to grin.
"It's over?" Harry immediately asked, looking at him quickly.
"Nearly," Louis conceded. "I don't have to see her again. No more bullshit photos. Not... with her, anyway."
"Then with who?" Harry asked suspiciously.
"I dunno, they haven't decided yet."
"Louis."
"Harry."
"That doesn't tell me a lot."
"That's literally all I know, love," Louis sighed, rubbing at his eyes tiredly. "Think they're gonna find some other girl when we're further along the tour, random pictures taken, then ooh, well doesn't matter because they already split up." He waved a hand. "Something like that, anyway."
"How is that any better, Lou?" Harry asked softly.
"I'll be publicly single for the first time in over three years? And therefore not tied to a woman?"
Harry sighed heavily and looked at the shirt again.
"Not sure I feel like I'm the right person for that shirt," he mumbled.
"Uh uh uh, don't you even dare think that," Louis scolded carefully, stepping around him to grab the hanger. "You are going to wear this tonight, and you are gonna dance your ass off all over that damn stage, and you're gonna be as beautiful as you always are, my love."
"Lou..." Harry half-whined.
"Just trust me, okay?" Louis pressed a quick kiss to Harry's lips. "You're perfect."
----
2016
The phone chimed quietly on the table between them. Louis reached out and silenced it before checking the message.
"The car's here," he murmured roughly.
"I'm still not sure about coming with you," Harry whispered, his voice cracking on the last word. "I don't want it to be about me being there, Lou - this has nothing to do with me."
"It has everything to do with you, love," Louis replied carefully. "Because I want you to be there," he paused, then continued. "I need you to be there." He bit his lip as the words slipped out - the first time he'd actually admitted to needing Harry around for this.
Harry gazed at him for a brief moment, before he nodded and stood.
"Okay," he agreed. "Let's do this."
He grabbed his keys and wallet from the small console table by the door, and then helped Louis into his coat, before guiding him outside, making sure the door was locked up tightly behind them, and making their way to the car.
"Hey there, Berto," Harry greeted as he tugged the door open for Louis to get in. "Thanks for coming over for this."
"Never a problem for you boys," Alberto gave them both a sad smile. "Sorry about your mum, Lou. She was an amazing woman, and she'll be missed by a great many people."
"Thanks, Berto," Louis practically whispered, huddling down into his coat and curling into Harry's side.
"You sure about doing this tonight?" the bodyguard checked, looking worriedly in the rearview mirror as he left their property through the automatic gate.
"Yeah," Louis nodded slowly. "Promised Mum I would. Can't let her down."
"You could never let her down, darling," Harry was quick to reassure him, squeezing him just a little tighter. "You were the brightest star in her sky, you know that."
"Never met a mum more proud than Jay Deakin," Alberto added.
Louis made a weak sound and burrowed himself even further into Harry's arms, hiding away from everything as he mentally began to prepare himself for what was about to happen. Harry left him to it, easily falling into conversation with Alberto as they caught up, one hand absently playing with Louis' hair, feeling him slowly start to relax against his side as the car navigated through the busy streets of London toward Wembley.
"I've messaged Steve - he knows we're on our way, and has warned the security on the gates to just let the car right on into the arena," Harry told Alberto as they pulled off of the North Circular. "So hopefully, there shouldn't be any problems with getting through."
"We'll see," Alberto sighed, weary to years of experiencing try-hard bouncers trying to be more important than they are.
Thankfully, Alberto's fears were unfounded, and the car was waved directly through, just as Steve had promised.
"Need to get us some scary people like Steve's got, obviously," Harry commented.
Louis hummed in acknowledgement, and slowly followed Harry out of the car. He closed his eyes for a moment, and took a deep breath, centring himself and squeezing Harry's hand firmly, before letting the breath out and opening his eyes again.
"Let's do this," he said, his voice a lot stronger than Harry had heard it in days. "Let's go do this for Mum."
####
After hugging Dermot again tightly, Louis left the stage, Steve right behind him.
"You did an amazing job, Louis," Steve told him sincerely, clapping a reassuring hand onto his shoulder as Louis handed over his microphone to one of the techs, thanking her quietly.
"Well, I hope so," Louis replied, flickering a small smile.
They made their way quickly through the maze of backstage to find their dressing rooms again, where it seemed like everyone Louis knew was waiting for them. The first to reach him was Fizzy, throwing her arms around him and hugging him tightly.
"You were brilliant, Lou," she mumbled, pressing her face into his shoulder. "M... Mum would've been so fucking proud of you."
"Hey, language," he chastised her gently, squeezing her carefully and rubbing her back. "But thank you."
Just as he let go of one sister, another replaced her.
"Love you so fucking much, bro," Lottie declared, her face streaked with thick black lines of mascara and eyeliner. "Even if you did make me cry. Again."
"Sorry," he murmured, hugging her gently. "Love you too."
After making his way through all of the family, including Anne, Gemma, and Robin - he was a little surprised to see Mark and Dan in the same room, but he wasn't going to argue right now - he got to the boys.
"You were proper good," Liam told him with a smile, then held up his phone. "Zayn sends his love, said you smashed it, and wishes he could be here."
"Wish he could too," Louis nodded. "Tell him we'll pop around and see you both soon?"
"Course, mate," Liam agreed, pulling him into a quick hug. "Love you."
Louis flickered a smile and moved on to hug Niall, who didn't say a word, just squeezed him tight enough to make his ribs ache in the best way.
"Your mam was the best," Niall eventually muttered. "Gonna miss her hugs."
"Me too," Louis said softly.
Niall patted his arm and stepped away, leaving Harry.
Harry, who was waiting patiently in the corner of the room, tucked out of the way, not wanting any of the focus to be on him, trying desperately not to steal any of the limelight that inevitably always swung around to him wherever he went.
Harry, the one person in the world he felt safe enough to completely fall apart in front of.
Harry, his absolute rock through this entire hellish time, even though he'd insist that he's just doing the right thing, or what anyone else would do. Louis knew better, and knew that he'd struck gold with this one.
He stepped into Harry's space, slipping his arms around Harry's waist and resting his forehead against Harry's chest, tucking himself in smaller. He smiled weakly as he felt Harry's arms come up to wrap around him securely, one hand resting on his back, while the other carefully gripped the back of his head, holding him close.
Liam and Niall instinctively moved to chat with the rest of the family, leaving the couple in their own little bubble, knowing after so many years that they both needed this time; Harry to support Louis, and Louis to take it, until they were both strong enough to stand upright again and deal with other people.
After a few minutes, Louis slowly let out a deep breath he wasn't even aware he'd been holding, and lifted his head to look up at Harry with a tired smile. Harry returned it and gently stroked his cheek.
"You okay, darling?" he asked softly.
"Feel a bit better now it's done," Louis admitted. "But it felt like Mum was out there with me."
"Oh she was," Harry immediately nodded, smiling again. "She wouldn't have missed that for the world."
Louis didn't respond, simply stretched up to kiss him lightly, then stepped back.
"I'd better go talk to Lotts," he said quietly. "I think she wants us to go out tonight."
"Okay?" Harry frowned slightly. "Are you going to?"
Louis sighed softly.
"I dunno," he shrugged. "I guess? She wants a bit of normal. And as far as she's concerned, going out and getting pissed out of her head is the normal she needs right now."
Harry nodded slowly, but looked troubled.
"I promise, if I go, I'll be careful," Louis assured him. "I just need to do big brother stuff tonight."
"I know," Harry murmured. "I'll see if I can work out a way of coming? With Gem?"
Louis smiled and kissed him again.
"Thank you," he whispered. "Love you so much."
"Love you too," Harry replied, then nudged his hips gently. "Now go tell your sister you're going out with her tonight. I'll play with the little twins." He glanced over towards them. "Or rather, help Dan get them to sleep."
Louis flashed him a quick wink and crossed the room to slip an arm around Lottie's shoulders, interrupting her and Tommy.
"You okay?" she asked, looking up at him worriedly.
"Yeah, all good, love," he reassured her. "So where are we going tonight? Or do I need to make some calls?"
"Calls would be good," Lottie nodded. "I completely forgot that we'd have to arrange shit."
"Well, we can queue outside if you want," Louis shrugged, giving her an innocent smirk.
"Ha fucking ha," Lottie elbowed him in the stomach. "Get on the sodding phone. I need to help Dan with Dottie and Ernie."
"Haz is on it," Louis told her, nodding over at them. "You're off-duty tonight."
"Oh..." Lottie slumped a little.
"You're not redundant," Tommy said carefully. "Harry's just helping tonight so you can be with Louis, right Lou?"
"Mmhmm," Louis nodded. "He wanted to help. He's gonna try and get him and Gem into wherever we go tonight, as well."
"That'll be cool," Lottie smiled weakly.
Louis leaned back against the wall, texting around a few people, before eventually asking Steve to arrange for them to get into a few clubs in the centre of London, smiling and relaxing a little when it was settled. He looked around the room, his breath catching slightly as he caught sight of Harry sat cross-legged in one of the chairs, his boots kicked off to one side, and a sleeping, obviously snoring Doris in his arms, drooling on his expensive suit.
"Oh," he murmured.
"What?" Lottie immediately asked, looking around worriedly.
"I'm actually married to that man," he said, voice filled with awe.
Lottie let out a soft snort.
"Yeah, yeah, we know, and I'm still fighting cavities from the speeches at your wedding, so you can cut that shit right now," she teased.
"Hey," he protested weakly.
"Wait, wedding?" Steve asked, raising an eyebrow, having slipped inside the door just as Lottie spoke. "What wedding?"
"Sorry, man," Louis apologised. "It, uh... it was a quick thing a few weeks ago. Happened in the chapel at the hospital so that Mum could be there."
"He says that like it wasn't still a whole big production," Lottie rolled her eyes.
Louis shrugged a shoulder carelessly.
"We were there, and Mum was there, that was all that mattered," he said.
"Well, huge congrats to you both," Steve smiled. "Is she here?"
"Who?" Lottie asked.
"Danielle?" Steve said, looking uncertain.
"Who?" Louis blinked in confusion.
"Your, uh... wife?" Steve said slowly.
"Dear god, no, definitely not, no," Louis shook his head quickly. "Holy fuck, what a terrifying thought. God, no." He rubbed quickly at his eyes as though trying to rid himself of the mental image. "No, no. I married Harry." He gestured to the man in question, who'd shifted Doris around so she was draped over his chest and shoulder, and was rubbing her back slowly. "Cos it rhymes," Louis added, his voice and expression softening up completely.
"Oh god, please don't get him started on the reminiscing about their time in the X Factor," Lottie half-scoffed.
"Ooh, I like those stories," Fizzy smiled as she joined them. "Especially if it means that Louis' embarrassing or decidedly not chill. They're hilarious."
"He brought up the 'because it rhymes' thing," Lottie muttered.
"Oh, ew, that was bad," Fizzy agreed. "How did you even think you were being cool, Lou?"
"I don't think I like being ganged up on by my little sisters, that's what I think," he declared.
"What about a big sister?" Gemma asked, slinging an arm around his waist. "Can big sisters gang up on you?"
Louis found himself looking desperately for his husband, expecting the evening to be exactly what they all need, and exactly what Jay would have wanted for them: chaos, fun, laughter, and most of all - love.
----
2017
"I'm not sure about this suit," Harry muttered, fiddling with his cuffs for the sixth time since they left home.
"Will you stop your mithering?" Louis rolled his eyes a little, putting a hand over Harry's. "You look beautiful. You're gonna be perfect up there."
"But Louis, this isn't a gig, I don't know what I'm doing," Harry babbled quietly, his insecurities spilling over. "I'm gonna be out there with Tom fucking Hardy, and Sir Kenneth fucking Branagh, what the fuck do I know about acting?"
"Well, you've done a film with Tom fucking Hardy and Sir Kenneth fucking Branagh, so I'm guessing you know a bit?" Louis asked drily, flinching back at the glare Harry shot him. "Okay, okay. No blasé comments." He sighed softly, pulling Harry's hands onto his lap. "But you did a fucking good job. You must have. Or Chris would've fired you on the first day." He leaned over, pressing a kiss to Harry's cheek. "I can't wait to go see you up on the screen, in full HD." Louis smirked. "It's gonna be heaven."
"You get me in full fucking surround sound, for fuck sake," Harry grumbled. "Why d'you wanna go see the stupid film?"
"Because my husband's making his acting debut in it, and I'm fucking proud."
Harry huffed and leaned into him a little.
"Can't ever stay mad at you," he mumbled.
"Anne’s meeting you there, right?" Louis checked, running his fingers carefully through the back of Harry's hair.
"Yeah," Harry nodded. "She's excited. Robin just wants her out of the house. His last treatment didn't go well."
Louis tightened his grip a little.
"I'm sorry, love," he mumbled. "When did you hear that?"
"Just before we left," Harry sighed, cuddling in more. "He called to let me know that Mum was on her way. He sounds tired. But his usual upbeat self, y'know?"
Louis nodded slowly, pressing a kiss to the top of Harry's head.
"He's a strong bloke," he said carefully. "He's not just gonna roll over and let it take him."
"I know," Harry nodded. "Mum's been emailing Dan a bit, asking about different stuff."
"That's good," Louis smiled. "He's a good bloke, he'll help her if he can."
The couple naturally fell quiet as the car wound its way through the streets of London towards Leicester Square, where the premiere of Dunkirk was to take place.
"So, you can get in around the back, right?" Harry checked.
"Mmhmm," Louis nodded. "Gonna sneak up the stairs off of Charing Cross Road, like we arranged. Hopefully they'll have put the extra sheeting up, else anyone who looks is gonna see me."
"They will have," Harry said confidently. "They're not going to want the chaos." He glanced at Louis with a small smile. "Maybe the next one, we'll be able to have the chaos?"
"You already planning another leading role, love?" Louis teased, laughing as Harry spluttered in protest. "I'm kidding, don't strain yourself. But yeah. Next time I'm gonna be on that carpet with you." He pressed a soft kiss to Harry's forehead. "Promise."
The car swung around into the normally pedestrianised area of Leicester Square, and Jeff pulled the front passenger door open, sticking his head in.
"Oh, hello Louis," he said stiffly.
"Good afternoon, Jefferson," Louis replied cheerfully. "You don't look very pleased to see me, mate. There a problem with me being here?"
There was a silence, before Harry glared at Jeff.
"No, no, of course not," Jeff scrambled to answer. "I, uh. I just didn't realise you would be travelling with Harry. I thought you were coming separately, so that it's easier to get you in."
"Oh we rarely come separately, Jefferson," Louis told him lewdly. "And if you and Glenne are, well. I already felt for the poor woman, and now I definitely do."
"Behave, Lou," Harry chastised gently, but smirked in amusement nonetheless, as Jeff flushed bright red.
"Uh, your mom's here," Jeff managed to get out. "She's waiting with your security for today."
"Great, tell her I'll be there in a sec," Harry smiled. "I'm just gonna say bye to Lou."
"You're literally gonna see him again in about half an hour," Jeff said flatly.
Louis didn't allow Harry to answer, instead he pulled him in for a kiss while holding his middle finger up at Jeff, who huffed and folded his arms over his chest, still waiting.
"Love you, my darling," Louis murmured to Harry when he eventually pulled back. "And I am so fucking proud of you."
"Love you too," Harry blushed. "See you inside."
----
2018
It was the third night of the tour - because he was definitely calling this a whole different tour to the one before Christmas - and Louis was making his way through the warren of hallways at the Ziggo Dome, before he eventually found Harry's dressing room and knocked on the door.
"Go away, I'm sleeping!" Harry called from inside, sounding grumpy.
Louis chuckled softly and let himself in.
"I said bugger off," Harry grumbled, turning over on the sofa to glare at the door, but immediately softening when he spotted his husband. "Louis... you're here."
"Told you I'd see you soon," Louis said cheekily, pushing the door closed behind him and flicking the lock over. "And if you really didn't want to be disturbed, you should've locked the damn door."
Harry jumped up over the back of the sofa and crossed the room to press Louis against the back of the door.
"They all know I was planning on sleeping," he murmured, rubbing his nose gently against Louis'. "They were gonna be my last ditch alarm if I didn't get myself up. So they needed to be able to get in."
"Well, they can wait for you," Louis replied huskily. "Cos you're mine, and I've missed you."
"It's been two days," Harry pointed out.
"That is entirely not the point," Louis retorted. "Now get naked, Harold. You're gonna have to fuck me, unless you wanna be limping around onstage...?"
"Not particularly," Harry chuckled softly. "Maybe later on in the tour, when I've upped my fitness a bit and can recover a little quicker?"
"Hmm, we'll see," Louis shrugged.
####
"Well, that wasn't entirely what I expected when I left you the other day," Harry remarked.
"Really?" Louis raised an eyebrow. "Because that was exactly what I was expecting." He glanced around the room. "Eugh, I hate that they've made all of these places non-smoking. I'm gonna have to go find the fire escape or something."
"Maybe you could think again about giving up?" Harry suggested carefully.
Louis glanced at him and shook his head slowly.
"That's not about to happen yet, love," Louis apologised. "Let's get rid of some of the shit in our lives, then I can throw smoking out with them."
"Okay, okay, no nagging, I promise," Harry held his hands up, then turned to the rail of clothes waiting for him.
"What are you wearing tonight then, my beautiful human being," Louis asked, tugging a blanket over his lap and watching Harry unashamedly.
"Well," Harry turned back to him with a bright smile. "Harry found this up and coming designer, who has made something for me? Like, properly designed for me. Not just 'oh I've designed this, so let's make it fit you', they actually designed it with me in mind."
"Okay, that sounds amazing," Louis smiled, resting his elbow on the back of the sofa. "Show me what they made you?"
"Their name is Harris Reed, and they designed this," Harry grinned, pulling a hanger off the rail.
"Oh my god, you're gonna look like a pirate," Louis blurted out. "A sexy, queer as fuck pirate. I fucking love it."
"You do?" Harry asked hopefully.
"Oh yeah, definitely," Louis nodded quickly. "The ruffles are gorgeous. I can't wait to see it on you." He gave Harry a soft smile. "And I can't wait to see you onstage again, my love. I'm so very proud of you."
Harry shifted his weight, blushing gently as he looked at the floor.
"Thanks, Lou," he mumbled. "Harris has done some other outfits for the rest of the tour, but this is the first one of theirs I'll be wearing. So I'm excited for them too."
Louis grinned.
"Well, I'll be in one of the boxes up at the back," he said. "So I'm not gonna really get the full effect until you're on the B stage." He paused for a moment, then smirked. "You know the fans have already dubbed it the 'boyfriend stage', don't you?"
Harry threw his head back in a loud cackle.
"Seriously?" he asked, giggling. "That's amazing. They're so good at getting so close."
"Mmhmm," Louis agreed.
He watched quietly as Harry got himself into the Harris Reed outfit, and chuckled softly; Harry really did look like a gay pirate. And just as beautiful as ever.
It was at times like these, when it was just the two of them, that Louis struggled a little to believe just how far Harry had come. Well, both of them really, but Harry especially. From the insecure 16 year old joking about wearing dresses, to the 17 year old who hadn't wanted to wear nail varnish; the 18 year old pushing himself so far beyond his limit he was verging on illness; the 19 year old learning to feel comfortable with himself; 20 year old Harry starting to push at his personal boundaries and exploring his own truth; at 21, when he was the selfless support that Louis needed most; 22 and experiencing the world of Hollywood; up until now, and 23, embarking on a solo arena tour, wearing ruffles and pussybows, with heels and rainbows and bold declarations of love and kindness.
Harry had always been perfect to Louis, through every age, through every stage, and in all the important ways, he was proud to have been able to witness the growth that Harry had experienced first-hand.
As he watched his husband bustle about, getting ready to go onstage, with Lou coming in to fiddle with his hair and sort his makeup, and then Adam to discuss a small change in musical direction, before Harry Lambert wanders in to check on the outfit - all while Louis simply sits there, swamped in Harry's Green Bay Packers hoody that he's had for forever, just watching and basking in the love he feels for that one person, his person.
He smiled softly, a thread of melody tickling at the edges of his brain, and a faint echo of lyrics whispering in his ears, as he took a breath and murmured quietly:
"You're perfect now."